Help me build my Lego House
by Daphne-Nicole
Summary: "Kiss me again, but don't let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer-but yours! How can I?"   -It started with a Billboard. It grew with time, and it became something neither girl could begin to explain or understand; let alone fight anymore. Faberry, Quinn/Rachel.
1. The Dark I Know Well

**Prologue- The Dark I Know Well**

'_**Close your eyes. Allow yourself to see nothing but the darkness. Now, cover your ears. Do you hear that? Nothing. Nothing but echoing sound of silence, only interrupted by the beating of the muscle in your chest, and your own deep, shallow breaths. It's as if finally: after all the worries, all your pain, and all the chaos the world surrounds you with; it all just fades away. Leaving you standing alone, in a beautiful dark silence of a litany.**_

_**As far as your concerned in this place nothing will touch you. Nothing will hurt you, and more importantly, there is only you. Everything and everyone that you know ceases to exist here. As far as your concerned there is only you, you and these brief moments of calm before you allow yourself to sail straight back into the storm. You have to take this moment of secluded serenity, and put this moment back into perspective. You have just a few moments before you have to uncover your eyes and open them to the tragedy before you, so you need to savor this perfect peace while you can, think of those you adore, and those you love, let them hold your hand. Remember that touch one last time before you open your eyes and risk losing it forever.**_

_**Now…open your eyes.'**_

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><p>The bitter cold was the first thing to ambush her back into consciousness. Her eyes pricked with harsh tears and a cruel, aching pain instantly surrounded her limbs. She could see nothing in the sky but the flashing lights before her amongst the thundering rain, slowly starting to blur. She could hear the muffled voices, and as she winced through the pain in her body to tune her ears to the sound, she realized the muffled sounds were screams of horror. She felt someone's hand brush against hers, and lift her battered body into their warm arms. She felt them burying their head into her bloodstained hair, muttering over and over, "Stay with us, please…please just hold on". Then she saw something approaching her. The blinding lights created a back-light as the silhouette drew near. And as they reached just in front of her, the figure came into focus... a small brunette with tears streaming down her heart broken face. She tried to keep her eyes open, the arms holding her raising her as the brunette kneeled down beside her and held onto her hands tightly. "Please, please don't do this," the brunettes soft voice sounded but all she could focus on was those perfect dark brown eyes bearing into hers. She closed her eyes to remember the touch. The soft hands cradling her with love, and the strong arms that protectively held her back from the angels with all their might.<p>

She felt herself slipping further and further away from the warm touch and willed her body to open her eyes once more. But this time, instead of staring back into the tear-flooded eyes before her, she stared beyond them. She stared straight into the eyes of the young man standing in the background. She stared at him: his tall, muscular figure standing proudly and handsome in his military uniform. She blinked in disbelief and attempted to call out to him, but nothing but a painful choke came from her lips. She looked into his brown eyes and saw the frozen tears he held in them, and the sympathetic smile he wore them with. She found herself trying desperately to understand the moment before her, but her life drained body refused to allow her to move.

She realized the embrace around her was tightening, and the soft hand clutching tightly on to hers was trembling with fear, as her eyes snapped back to her terrified friend.

The brunette lowered her face to rest their foreheads together as she cried softly once more, "Why did you do that? You're so stupid, you know that?" She laughed gently before holding back a sob to softly continue, "Please…please don't leave me. I can't break anymore."

She felt the other girls tears dripping onto her face as she carefully lifted her hand to the brunettes cheek, and parted her lips with one last breath of air, "I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine..." she closed her eyes as the pain began to take over her crippled corpse. "You shine beyond anyone I've ever known, and if I can do this to let you keep on shining; then I'm not sorry, and I won't ever be". She felt the other girl throw her arms around her neck and cry warm tears onto her cold skin.

The other girl loosened her arms and stared a breaking smile to her as she pleaded, "Please don't leave me yet, I'm not ready to let go…"

She found her eyes leaving the tender scene and looking back to him in the distance. He slowly tilted his head to her, and reached out his arm. -His eyes telling her the inevitable, 'it's time'. She took a deep breath and allowed the tears to fall freely, as she squeezed her friend's arm and nodded her head as she cried, "I'm ready Noah".

Just like that, everything faded to black. The sound muffled, and the hurt, the pain, and the tragedy that surrounded her…was gone.

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><p>They say when you die -it tastes like lemons. Well I say they, but in all honesty I feel we all listen to 'them' too much. Especially considering I doubt anyone on the earth actually knows who 'they' is. We base all our main philosophies in life, on the words of someone who refuses to show their face and reveal their identity to us. Now unless they are Superman or the Hulk, I fail to see why 'they' can't, and this makes me fail to trust them all that much. This opinion of mine was also highlighted particularly by the fact that when I died, it tasted nothing like lemons. In fact, the entire experience was so surreal, I don't think anything other than 'Holy crap, you have got to be kidding me...already?' was actually running through my head.<p>

Okay, so maybe I'm not exactly being entirely truthful. The truth is, my whole body ached like it was on fire, yet the rapid pool of blood appearing around me, and the draining colour of my skin told me I was anything but warm at the time. The only I time I tasted, the only time I smelt, touched; or really any of my senses came into focus...was when I shut my eyes. Someone once told me, that I couldn't let these bad things that happen, continue to build inside of me and overwhelm me in the dark. I had to take control and realize it never has to be that way. Nothing is ever that simple in the world. Then they told me words I knew I would take with me until the day I died. And when I shut my eyes and embraced the calm it brought me, I wasn't surprised to hear the memory of their voice echo those words to me, "When the world is dressed in black and white, I can always see the colour, with my eyes closed tight". That, was a philosophy that I trusted. For when I felt myself slipping away, and closed my eyes tightly; I found myself staring at the faces of my family and friends. Feeling, with the loving rub of his stubble on my cheek as he embraced me in his arms once more. And another's gentle touch of a finger sparking electricity off of mine, as we connected for what would probably be the last time. The smell of freshly baked goods filled my lungs, and that voice muttering the true philosophy to me, followed by reassurances that the pain would end soon. But the last sense to make its appearance to me, the one I expected first, was taste. But it wasn't of lemons, no, it was a taste I never expected it to be...one I never considered my feelings for before. It was the taste of a grape slushie, trickling over my taste buds. -Ironic really, considering my history with the iced product. Ironic, odd, unexpected...but perfect all the same.

So no, there were no lemons. There was no pain. But there was no 'they' either. Just me...my deep breaths, the sound of the muscle beating in my chest amongst the muffled sounds of the world covered by my hands over my ears, and the blissful black, cathedral of solitude, that came with the simple action of closing of my eyes.

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><p><strong><em>Okay PLEASE REVIEW if you read this so I can have feedback and know whether I should continue with this story or not. I've already planned out pretty much all the story but if you have any wishes or directions you would want the story to go in, please feel free to speak up and help me improve (if I decide to continue with this project that is...like I said, it depends on you guys!)<em>**

**_Thank you! -After all if you're reading this, then you at least made it to the end of the Prologue...congratulations!_**


	2. Falling Slowly

**_Chapter One- Falling Slowly_**

_Nine months earlier. September- (1 day before) Senior Year_

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><p><strong>The cold breeze aired gently throughout Lima, Ohio as the night's blanket began to sweep the sky and the stars dared to wake. The streets were empty, and the nightlights switched on in children's rooms as they turned in early the day before a fresh school year. Nothing was corrupted, nothing was out of place, and for once the small town in Ohio didn't seem quite such a melancholy place to exist. -Just, peaceful.<strong>

**The entire town was in a near deadly silence. Although as one youth of the town dangled her legs from the rusting '_Welcome to Ohio, where your friend is ours_' sign; she would probably of argued the town was always dead. But then again, Quinn Fabray was difficult individual to impress; no small town would ever be able to contain the young beauty.**

**The huge white billboard hung just on the boarders of the town, and marked the entrance of a happy small town in Western Ohio. -But to Quinn Fabray, the billboard meant so much more than that. To Quinn, the sign marked her checkpoint; the very last part of Lima her hazel eyes would ever see as she finally left it for good in just one more year's time. To Quinn, the billboard marked her dreams, and aspirations of freedom.**

'I leered past my black skinny jeans that hid my legs in the dark of the night and looked down to the ground below me. I realized in this moment, that I had a choice. I came here with the very purpose of vandalizing the '_Welcome to Ohio_' sign that mocks me daily, so that tomorrow as I resume my picture perfect life, it wouldn't hurt me having to put on that fake smile, the fake glow of radiating happiness that piles of make-up on my face created, and it wouldn't break me further. As I would think of the sign, how I conquered it with my own essence, and when I finally get out of this dam place everyone would look up on the sign as a historical document for their children to look to for hope, '_See that billboard there? -That was the billboard that finally gave birth to the Quinn Fabray. That was the place she finally accepted who she was, and how she wasn't going to be just another Lima Loser_'. So it all came down to whether or not I actually had the bottle to go through with it.

I glanced to my left at the bag of spray paints tossed to the side. I then found myself leaning my vision back to the looming ground below me. It was so simple; I thought the choice was to paint, or not to paint. To be a criminal; or to not be a silly delinquent… to be remembered for my impact on this godforsaken place, or to become stuck here like everyone else. -But in fact, the choice was in fact a three way crossroads. For beyond the obvious left and right choice in paths, I had the option to just continue the way I was headed, and get it over and done with now. End my self-destructive streak while I still had power over my own demons. -As I slowly lifted myself up and stood to the edge of the railings, I knew that this way, I would inevitably be remembered forever as well. And as I slowly griped the railings and climbed over them, step by tedious step; I realized that it would all finally be over in a moment. The town would know of the tragic tale forever, the ex-head cheerleader, who got pregnant, lost her father, and committed suicide on the infamous '_Welcome to Ohio_' sign in a final moment of madness.

Before I knew it I was leaning far over the edge of the ledge, and my arms were outstretched and my feet shuffling nervously. A clanging sounded as a small piece of rubble fell from the ledge and landed beneath me. The situation I had just climbed into dawned on me and I realized that, no. Quinn Fabray was no quitter. This town had broken me far to much for me to let it win. I was going to win this war, after that who knows, I can jump from the Hollywood sign instead. But the Lima, Ohio sign? Please, I was better than this. I didn't slave away to live a perfect Christian existence to give up this way. I lived a lonely life of the cost of popularity and beauty, a frozen existence that needed a fiery end. If there was anything I had learned in the last few years, it was that, the stupid interfering hobbit, Rachel Berry may be a few things...(such as a 'stupid interfering hobbit') -But the girl taught me with a slap incident at Junior prom, that I should always appreciate the drama of an event. And hey, maybe when she is inevitably living in L.A, starring in the latest Spielberg number, she'll pick up a magazine and see her profile front cover shoot has been moved aside, for the cheerleader who jumped from the Hollywood sign. Take that Rupaul! The drama also has a mixture of irony and revenge to it as well; this most definitely makes it a more superior decision.

I shook my head and pulled myself back over the railings and took a deep breath for reflection and confidently continued my master plan. With a red spray can in my hand I looked up at the back of the notice board. It was times like this I was actually thankful to my family for never teaching me to feel emotions. It was thanks to them, that I built my walls so high around people and they never got inside, instead, when I wanted to cry I had always come here to reflect. It was during my last reflection, shortly after Glee lost nationals thanks to a moment romanticism between the midget and Finn, that I revealed my loneliness to my best friends Santana and Britney. -For normal girls, 'this' is normal behavior, but I'm not normal like that. When they finally calmed my tears and I saw my puffy eyed reflection, I looked through the pain and just saw my true fragile form shining in all my shattering shards. I was so distraught with the weakness I saw, I came here and cried for hours. Then, when I finally breathed in my desperation to leave this place, I looked up and saw the blank canvas before me now. When you see a billboard you stare at the front, people entering Ohio see the photogenic family message propaganda on display. But they aren't my target audience. No, I want to get out so that the others, who are stuck here, look to my name with promise and hope. I wanted people to look upon my name as they too are stuck in Ohio wanting to leave, stuck behind the faux-promises of the sign. That's when it hit me. I would leave my imprint for this town big and loud for them all to see. I'd let them know my name.

I was about to ponder what to write, but I realized I already knew. There was never any doubt as to what would leave this can of red paint and cover that blank canvas. I was going to show them that they never knew, they never noticed, and they never actually cared enough to see me for who I was. None of them ever took a second look through my pretty smile long enough to watch my tears at night. Well I was going to make sure the bastards finally knew of a girl in this town that was destined to get out before they ate her alive. My arm started moving swiftly, as the can rattled and determination filled my sights.'

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><p>As Rachel stood by her locker working up the courage to start her final school year, she couldn't fight the feeling in her stomach that today was different. She didn't know why, maybe because her epileptical broke mid cycle this morning, or perhaps it was simply because her father actually forgot her strict vegan diet and served her an 'actual' pancake this morning, (she could still taste the animal cruelty the dairy placed upon her lips). Frowning, she glanced up at the clock, 7.25 am...Any minute now, the hallway would be flooded with individuals plaguing their immaturity amongst her superiority. And in just a year they would realize the extent to her superiority, Hepburn knows she earned it. Unlike people like Quinn Fabray who were handed so much on a plate due to their Blonde locks and okay, amazingly attractive features...not that she care about that, because she didn't. She was Rachel Barbara Berry and nobody would trample on her this year not anyone… no, for you see this year, Rachel swore on Garbo's acting, that this year would be different. This year she wou-...<p>

Apparently during the 'rather spectacular', in her own opinion, ramble of self-determination, she had failed to see the hallway fill with students, and with it, the ignorant Neanderthal who dosed her future Emmy award winning face in a ice cold, sticky purple mess. -At least they had given grape, grape she appreciated, unlike the clear unnatural preservatives of say a 'blue' raspberry flavour slushie.

Okay...so maybe so far this year wasn't exactly all that different. But then again it had just started; Rachel Barbara Berry still had a full day, and a change of clothes in preparation! Yes this year nobody would stand in he-...

SERIOUSLY? Twice? 2 Minutes into a new school day of her senior year, and she had been slushied twice? Okay this is just ridiculous. And now she simply stunk of grape. And while you can never have too much Broadway, you can have too much Grape Slushie dripping all over you. And thirdly! The-

"Berry!" A dauntingly familiar voice interrupted her third monologue of the day. Looking away from the inner thoughts of how this better not be a third slushie in three minutes, Rachel tore her eyes to the side of her, where standing by her locker with her two minions behind was Quinn Fabray.

Turning to face her beloved 'frenemy', Rachel beamed a smile before frowning and realizing she was still cover in grape slushie..."Quinn" she uttered somewhat already defeated as her eyes drooped in the direction of her suddenly interesting, drenched feet on the floor.

The Blonde ice queen looked her pathetic appearance up and down before opening her mouth for her final blow, before holding her tongue and instead remarking almost sympathetically, "you're still being slushied?"

Rachel looked up to catch the girl's eye, confused at the sympathy and made it more of a voiced opinion, "As much as I appreciate the opportunity to out word spar you here; by stating the obvious, that of course, quite clearly I am still being slushied! -I find myself far more intrigued to ask why you aren't jumping the chance to kick me while I'm down. After everything with Finn, even I admit it seems I'm currently the bigger bitch in out eternal showdown of conflicts."

Quinn arched her infamous eyebrow and smirked, again, almost warmly...before stating, "Because despite everything Ru-Rachel...you are my team mate, not to mention I don't feel like spending the year both verbally and socially sparring with you, I just want it to be over with so I'd appreciate the same kindness in return. Also, if it helps, at least now you've been slushied you can make an even bigger turn around this year. Something you'll be able to appreciate the drama of I suppose".

-Wait did Quinn just, oh my funny girl she did, Quinn Fabray is smirking and joking with her! Rachel laughed in return and rambled her thanks to Quinn as she turned to Britney and asked her to take Rachel to the Cheerios showers to get cleaned up, before exiting with Santana. -Well it seemed maybe today would be her fresh start after all.

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><p>'Today was not a good day!' The Brunette haired girl drove her car angrily down the dirt road. She didn't even care where she ended up. She was simply full of anger and frustration and needed to vent. Somewhere where she could scream, no sing, a ballad as loud as she can with out her neighbors ringing the police again to file another lawsuit against her Dad's for an extensive amount of noise complaints. As her car sped down the road she realized she was exiting Lima, and headed out into the outside world. She quickly slowed down her car and pulled it to a stop at the side of the road so she could calm herself down and breath. Today had started so promisingly, and yet ended so horribly!<p>

'Firstly Quinn actually acted human, as did Santana Lopez...SANTANA LOPEZ HAS A SOUL- WHO KNEW? Anyway everything was going fine, Finn was even okay when she told him that she would be with him only until they graduate, he was actually mature! -Once again, who knew! So everything was fine, that is until Glee, when Tina showed up crying and puffy eyed. When asked what was wrong she said she just broke up with Mike Chang. Obviously everyone was shocked, after all they were perfect for one another, they were Tina and Mike...Mike and Tina, Asian and well... other Asian! But Tina explained she was supposed to meet Mike in the auditorium before Glee so they could walk together after his dance rehearsal. But she walked in to find him in there embracing none other than Quinn Fabray. Shocked after Quinn's 'apparently short lived' new start, Rachel was more shocked to see Finn, become overly jealous and yelling and screaming at Mike who had just walked in with a dumbfounded Quinn. Tina cried as Finn yelled and Rachel felt more and more humiliated and angry at watching Finn being jealous over his ex's current love life. But then just as Mr. Schuster finally interfered to break it all up Puck, who had been silent until now, shoots up from his chair punches Mike out cold, stares icily at Quinn, and then storms out the room leaving everyone in silence. Well complete silence other than the sound of Puck rampaging by leaving the imprint of his fist in lockers in the hallway. Quinn looked at Tina and simply said, "You've got it all wrong" before running from the rehearsal. At which point Mike recovers and him and Tina are ordered to sort themselves out as she escorts him to the nurse. Then of course I realized everyone was staring at me. It was as if they were expecting me to make this moment about myself!

Well I was utterly humiliated at their lack of character judgment. So I marched right on up to Finn, called him an idiot, slapped him fabulously across the face and stormed out of the room. How dare they all think I would seek attention in such a situation of clear chaos! Honestly, the nerve!'

As the brunette sat in her car she realized she was parked directly at the Lima boarder of Ohio, right beside the infamous '_Welcome to Ohio_' sign. She sighed thinking to herself how one day, that sign would read, '_Welcome to Ohio, birthplace of Rachel Berry_' as fans would flog to the small town to see where she grew up.

It wasn't long before the familiar feeling of, what if she never got out, sunk back into her mind and the girl's thoughts turned to a darker shade. It was then that she found herself remembering the oddest part of today. How devastated Noah was with Quinn, and how fragile she seemed right before she left the room. It was almost as if in that moment, a spotlight shined on the beauty, and her smile fell to the ground revealing a battered and bruised soul hiding from the world. It was one of the most heartbreaking moments of her life as she stared right into those hazel eyes right before Quinn fled the rehearsal. Rachel couldn't shake the image from her mind. So she just settled for literally shaking her head as she looked up to the sky in a sigh, but quickly snapped out of her moment of melancholy as she replaced it for shock upon taking in the sight before her. High above the ground, on the back of the infamous billboard, was red spray paint, leaving a clear call for help for all of Ohio to see. She got out her car and stared up at the sight before her, a cry for attention in a beautifully inspired quote Rachel already knew word for word.

_"We all live in a house of fire. No fire department to call. No way out. Just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down... with us trapped, locked in it"_ -Tennessee Williams

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><p><em><strong>Okay so I saw the hits going up and got more excited than when I first bid on eBay! But I really won't be adding anymore unless I actually know you guys are enjoying reading this. So please review and let me hear your feedback so I know whether to continue with the story or not from here. (I'm going to continue regardless, I just won't publish if no one is reading) ;)<strong>_


	3. Wuthering Heights

_**Chapter Two- Wuthering Heights**  
><em>

_September- (Senior Year)_

If there was one thing Quinn Fabray knew about Lima, Ohio; it was that it was a town full of drunken deadbeats. If there was a second thing she knew, it was that those drunken deadbeats knew how to gossip; and oh how their gossip could travel. As she sat in her living room with her mother casually sitting beside her and chatting idly away as she sipped from her cosmopolitan, Quinn found her attention flickering to the television as she witnessed the gossips and their fine work.

"Now I'm sure you've all heard already about the recent poetic display of vandalism to the famous Lima billboard at the boarder of the Western Ohio town. But recent news is that the local arts students have partitioned to allow the vandal to get away with the crime, stating 'the graffiti bares with it a message the more illiterate members of Ohio could learn from'. Amazingly it seems one of the students was the town mayors son Billy Hayward, and furthermore it does not surprise this news anchor that Daddy had his sons back. I'm your host-..."

Quinn was snapped from her trance of admiration for her own work by the television being switched off with her mothers sigh. "Honestly Quinnie, I don't know what youth wrote that message but who ever they are, I guess their parents ought to keep a tighter leash on them."

Quinn sat up and cautiously bit her bottom lip before deciding to press further before her mother left the room. "What do you mean?" she mumbled whilst playing with the hem of her dress.

Judy Fabray stopped by the doorway and turned her head back over her shoulder to face her youngest daughter, "Well Quinnie, what I'm saying is that the vandalism is without doubt a cry for help. Whoever wrote it, is quite clearly in a lonely and depressed state of mind. -So the parents and friends of the vandal, should pay more attention to what's in front of them before they disappear." Quinn nodded to her mother before turning her head away to look at her feet as her fingers gripped the couch. As per usual the girl was left alone, and disappointed in those around her for failing to notice once more.

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><p>Quinn glanced to clock and took in the irritating truth that it was 3am and she was still, bitterly awake and alone with her thoughts. She thought back to the last four days, and how she should be pleased her plan had been pulled off so flawlessly, but the truth was, she found herself distracted by what had happened in glee club on Monday afternoon...His face, that hurt... that pain. She desperately tried to get Puck's face out of her mind but it was useless, the boy's raw heartbreak he displayed so publicly in despair was enough to make anyone lose sleep. As a matter of fact, she hadn't slept well since that day. What the worst part is that everything was a misunderstanding, and yet she couldn't explain to him as he had failed to show his face all week. She had texted, called, left messages of pleading in his locker and at his house with his mother. -But even she didn't know where her son had left to, the only reason the police weren't looking was because apparently he had rang her to let her know he was safe, and just needed time to clear his head. Normally after hours of fretting it was around this time that Quinn's body would finally bless her with rest, but this night, she knew it was hopeless trying.<p>

She glanced back at her alarm once more and sighed as she shut her eyes tightly. Today was Puck's 18th birthday. He was out there, alone on what should be a celebration with everyone who loves him. None of it made any sense. After Puck found out, and Mike had explained the full truth about what Tina saw to her, Tina had gone straight round to Puck's and cleared the air. Yet he still hadn't shown his face at school. And worse, he still wouldn't acknowledge her remotely. After everything they had gone through, the two had become so close it hurt her to go a day without seeing him. They never really exchanged more than a brief moment of playful exchanges, or smirks and raised eyebrows to make innuendo's just to make one another laugh... but it didn't matter, because even on the days they didn't speak, Quinn would find her self looking for him. Looking for Noah Puckerman just so the two could share that seconds glance at one another, a seconds glance, and then suddenly, it didn't hurt so much. She knew that he was probably the only person who knew she was more than just the pretty face and blonde hair, and he didn't care. He would just look over her way, and for a moment, a brief second...everything would stop. She was alone with just her, and him... and it felt right.

It was only as she felt the tears hitting her pillow that she realized she was crying once again. He meant more to her than any person ever could, and now he wouldn't even speak or look at her again. Tina's revelation of her innocence didn't matter. For Quinn knew Puck better than he knew himself at the best of times. And she knew that right now he was angry, angry and hurt. But more than anything he was disappointed in her for wanting to give up so easily, and worst of all, confiding in Mike Chang rather than him. For this: Quinn knew he was ashamed of her, and she also knew, that there wasn't a single part of her that blamed him.

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><p>Everyone knew Rachel Berry had been the one to discover the new and improved billboard, and Rachel Berry knew she was thrilled to have been the one to have discovered it. -Because for one day, everyone knew her name. As she walked into McKinley High that Tuesday morning, she stood tall as she...well okay she stood as tall as any 5ft 2 woman could stand -but that's beside the point! For you see, for one day, she had reached stardom. Her name was on everyone's lips and she adored it. -Of course it didn't last more than a day because by Wednesday Sandy Ryerson had been convicted of stalking Josh Groban to the point where the singer had been forced to leave America for fear of his life, after his Golden Retriever had been kidnapped for the exchange of a contracted friendship. She saw the news and feared her fifteen minutes were up, and as the cold blue ice covered her face during lunch in the cafeteria, the singer knew she had been correct. Unfortunately, with the exception that she refused to take Finn back after his humiliation of her on Monday, Rachel's life had gone completely back to the way it was before.<p>

As she entered the choir room for Glee rehearsal on Friday afternoon she glanced around at the chairs and realized not everything was back to how it was. In particular, two empty chairs at the front of the room highlighted the two individuals who hadn't resumed their lives after Monday's eventful rehearsal.

She glanced at the available seats and saw one by either of the Hudson/Hummel brothers. She looked at Finn who gave her that same old sad, kicked puppy face; and then to Kurt who was looking at Finn before rolling his eyes and slapping his hand to his head in an act of family shame. Rachel hurriedly sat next Kurt and waited for Mr Schuester to begin.

"Okay guys, so this week I had planned to start selecting songs for sectionals, but with the absence of Puck and Quinn, it seems silly to start now." The teacher ran his hand through his greased up hair before widely smiling excitedly and continuing in a childlike manner of excitement, "-but lucky for us, Finn has kindly informed me he has prepared something for today's session. -So please take to the stage Finn".

The tall boy on the other side of the room stood and made his way to center stage where he stood shuffling his feet before eventually speaking up whilst looking to the ground, "Erm, okay so this song is for someone who is sort of mad at me, cause I did some stuff wrong. And it like got me thinking -you know? Whenever you play Xbox and you like, do the mission wrong, you restart and try again, right? So I felt I should see if I can start us again, and let her-um, 'them' know, by singing this and dedicating it... to them." Finn finally looked up from his feet and made eye contact with Rachel. She found it was moments like these where she knew what she originally saw in the boy. He was dumb. He was selfish. And again, he was ridiculously dumb. But deep down, he really could be quite sweet when his conscious finally kicked in.

Next thing she knew the boy was sat on a chair beside of Mr Schuester in the middle of the room as Mr Schuester began to strum away.

_You sheltered me from harm,_

_Kept me warm, kept me warm._

_You gave my life to me,_

_Set me free, set me free._

Rachel finally brought her eyes to Finn and allowed him to connect the next few words to her with meaning.

_The finest years I ever knew,_

_Were all the years I had with you..._

Rachel rolled her eyes at the cheesy nature of the song and found herself finding what most would consider to be romantic, to be predictable, and disconnected from her.

_And I would give everything I own,_

_I'd give up my life, my heart, my home;_

_I would give everything I own,_

_Just to have you, back again._

"This is so romantic" Rachel heard Mercedes mutter from behind her,

"Even I admit 'Treasure trail' somehow made 'Gigantasaur' seem almost sweet with this one", okay with names like that, Rachel realized even Santana was getting caught in the moment. -So why wasn't she? She glanced back to Finn before sighing and turning to look at the rest of New Directions. From what she could see everyone was in awe of the precious moment Finn was bravely sharing with all of them.

'This can not be right...why don't I feel anything, I am not insane here... Rachel Berry does not go insane. At least not until after I win three Tony's so I can successful emerge from treatment to go on and win an Oscar for the most chilling and beautiful betrayal of a mad woman to date. I glanced back over the audience, and suddenly I found myself staring at the two empty chairs again. Where the hell are those two? Everyone knows after the 'incident', that Puck is AWOL, but what, now Quinn Fabray too? -This is just my luck. Rachel Barbara Berry finally makes progress with her arch nemesis and then she goes and vanishes, leaving me with the tainted remains of the beautiful friendship we never knew. -How peachy! Then again...this does make somewhat wonderful songwriting material, even better than when I fell for Blaine, alas a gay man even I couldn't swing.'

Then again why did it bother her so much? It's not like Quinn would even care if Rachel missed a single class or rehearsal. She probably wouldn't even notice.

_You never said too much,_

_But still you showed me ways and I knew,_

_From watching you._

I had to find answers, and dammit I couldn't wait until the end of my serenading...

"Kurt...Kurt...Kuuuuuurrrrrtttt", well whispering wasn't working. So I decided a gentle vicious pinch would work instead.'

"-OW! What couldn't wait Rachel? You realize this is clearly for you. Surely Finn's pathetic attempt at being ambiguous didn't actually work on you?" Kurt harshly whispered, whilst still smiling at the performance and just monitoring Rachel from the corner of his eye.

Rachel laughed sarcastically, "Please, Finn couldn't fool a three-year old." Kurt smirked and playfully tapped the diva's leg in a playful yet seemingly agreeing way. Rachel pursed her lips as she warily continued, "It's just, I could help but notice Quinn's absence. And as Captain of the Glee club, I feel I ought to find her whereabouts to avoid concern, and any potential damage to New Directions."

Kurt turned his head abruptly and quickly whispered back, "You didn't hear? The damage is already done. Puck's missing and Quinn feels so guilty about what ever happened between the two of them that she is currently with Miss Pilsbury, after mother dearest rang the school concerned for her precious lamb's welfare." Kurt leaned closer to Rachel, to emphasize the gossip royalty he was currently passing on. "Apparently, Mercedes overheard Santana talking to Britney, about how our darling Quinn hasn't been eating or sleeping since Monday."

"That's awful... Is she okay?" Rachel blurted out, louder than she intended clearly as Mike Chang turned around to shush them and nodded to Finn singing his heart out for her. With Mr Schuester now joining in, in what she could accept was a fairly decent harmony.

_I would give everything I own,_

_I'd give up my life, my heart, my home,_

_I would give everything I own,_

_just to have you, back again_

_just to touch you once again._

The room erupted in applause and cheering, Rachel remained seated and Kurt saw the sulking bunny and leaned down to answer her question, "Please, Rachel at least she's not throwing up and holding a cake in the oven again. –Let's be thankful it's just a little insomnia she's dealing with."

But to Rachel, the words were not remotely comforting; she just wanted to fix her beloved Glee teammates relationships. She mainly just wanted to help Quinn, and for the life of her, she had no clue why. But she dam sure knew where to start! She would find out, what on earth really happened between Mike and Quinn, so that he had to console her in a moment of need. Then she would discover why Noah was so upset, and this was all so she could help her 'frenemy' heal. The plan was simple! Right?

* * *

><p>Okay so simple wasn't so simple after all. After Glee Rachel confronted Mike to quickly get the information out of the boy, but he seemed somewhat reluctant to share it. Apparently she was getting involved in things that did not concern her, and he had absolutely no right to tell. -Apparently Tina agreed, as she glared menacingly before announcing "Just drop it, for once Rachel", before exiting the room-linked arm in arm with Mike. Next she quickly marched to Miss Pilsbury's office, hopefully the meeting was still going and she could get her information from the prime source itself! But as she arrived to an empty desk, and abandoned office, Rachel realized she was in no such look. 'Things are always so much easier in the movies' Rachel thought to herself as she begrudgingly slumped against her locker in defeat.<p>

Rachel closed her eyes and just listened to the musical silence that filled her head. Something about seeing the darkness always provided her with comfort when frustrated. She would just listen to the sound of her own breathing and concentrate on nothing else. Nothing but the sound of-...

_Yesterday I got lost in the circus,_

_Feeling like such a mess._

_And now I'm down,_

_I'm just hanging on the corner._

_I can't help but reminisce._

-'Nothing but the sound of a sweet heavenly angel singing! I abruptly opened my eyes and turned my head to the side, allowing my ears the chance to hear that haunting voice once more...'

_Cause when you're, gone_

_all the colours fade when you're, gone_

_no new years day parade, you're gone_

_colours seem to fade._

'As the piano softly continued I realized that my feet were moving. Slowly and carefully leading me to the source of this beautiful translucent moment. I realized the music was coming from the choir room, and as warily approached the door, terrified of interrupting the moment occurring inside, I gently grasped the door handle and eased it open.'

_Your mama called, she said,_

_That you're downstairs crying._

_Feeling like such a mess._

'-HOLY STRIESAND! That voice, that emotion, its coming from her? No it doesn't make sense...maybe I am going insane. I think I ought to start seeing Dr Walen again...'

_Yeah I hear you're,_

_In the background balling,_

_Whatever happened to your sweet summertime dress?_

'-Oh my almighty Paige and Good Garbo it is... my eyes aren't deceiving me. So much as I know one day Barbara will call me her own, I know that there before me, delicately caressing the piano with her fingers and singing this painful ballad, is none other than Quinn Fabray. What do I do? Do I cough and announce my presence? -That would be the polite thing to do, but she looks so beautiful; perfect, and yet heart-breakingly fragile I daren't. I swear those are even tears in her eyes, there is no doubt she would set me on fire if she knew I saw her so vulnerable like this. What do I do? What do I-...'

Rachel's stream of thought was abruptly ended as the piano stopped. She shut her eyes tightly, fearing screaming, yelling and slapping upon being discovered by Quinn. But after a few moments of waiting for the inevitable, she realized that through the lidded darkness of her closed eyes she could hear sobbing. She winced her eyes open and adjusted them to the sight before her, Quinn Fabray was frozen, with her shaking fingers still on the piano's keys as the tears fell down her face and her head bowed in admittance to the pain she was in. Rachel had to blink in shock at realizing while no, she hadn't been discovered and could easily walk away before it was too late; there was not a chance in hell she could leave Quinn like this. Frenemy or no frenemy, Quinn needed someone. And dam it, no matter how hard she was resisted, Rachel would make it known that she could be that person.

Quinn sat motionless and ice cold as the tears freely fell, and her heartbreak made its presence finally known. She willed herself to grieve and finish the song. But for the life of her she couldn't. All she could do was close her eyes and allow the pain to express itself finally. Nothing but the sound of her staggered breaths. She found herself wishing they would return and catch her before she fell. She even found herself feeling the lightest of soft touches over her fingers, as pressure was added, and she swore she could hear the piano playing.

_-I know we all,_

_We all got our faults._

No wait a second, now she could hear singing too. And it most definitely wasn't her imaginary Puck singing sweetly in her ear. No this voice was painstakingly familiar...a voice she knew anywhere...

Quinn willed her eyes open and saw the fingers pressing the keys over hers were real. She then followed them to see that the person she believed owned them, to be the very person she suspected and also very, very real. Rachel was beside her, closing her eyes, and softly finishing Quinn's song for her.

_We get locked in our vaults,_

_And we stay._

Quinn wanted to run; she wanted to be anywhere but hear, this vulnerable, and this visible. But something inside her wouldn't let her move. Rachel wasn't here to mock her; she wasn't going to use this against her. She was just here to help her finish what she started. Before Quinn could explain what was happening, her fingers were now moving with the Brunettes and the tears falling more freely as she closed her eyes once more and found herself singing the last chorus with Rachel as she gave it her everything.

_When you're gone,_

_All the colours fade._

_When you're gone,_

_No new years day parade._

_You're gone, colours seem to fade,_

_colours seem to fade_

Still, with eyes shut, the two stayed in a harmonious silence. The two afraid to break what had been a shared tender moment of fragile intimacy and honesty. Rachel daren't move after the powerful expression of feelings that just took place. She didn't plan on moving either, until she heard the sobbing start again, only this time with a desperate cry, "I'm so sorry".

Without hesitation Rachel found her eyes opening, and her arms re-adjusting so that she could wrap them warmly around the crumbling girl beside her. But this instinct of an action wasn't what surprised Rachel most. What surprised her most was when she felt two delicate hands; tightly fisting her shirt in frustration as Quinn clung on to the only comfort she had experience in far too long, and so desperately needed. -What surprised Quinn was how, even as her tears drenched Rachel's neck where she rested her head, she found herself unable to move, and rather than being pushed away, the hands that held her moved. As one stroked her hair, and the other softly rubbed her back whilst Rachel shushed her cries gently.

The two girls realized several minutes had clearly passed as Quinn's tears had dried up, and Rachel's hold had loosened. Neither wanted to break what had probably been the most honest and loving moment of their lives, but Quinn realized any longer and she would only humiliate herself further than she already had.

Still recovering from the loss of warm as Quinn pulled away to look her shyly in the eye, Rachel barely heard the other girl when she mumbled, "I didn't mean to do that... you, didn't have to do that."

Rachel immediately countered, "No, I..." she quickly glanced her eyes to the piano trying to regain her composure so she could appear less overwhelmingly eager. "I'm just glad I found you... What the hell happened to you Quinn?"

Quinn hesitated, looking straight to the piano herself, before returning her shy eye contact to Rachel and answering, "I got a message from Puck today."

Her eyes quickly adverted to the end of the piano, where Rachel saw she was staring at a book. She glanced back at Quinn, knowing the girl needed to speak further, "He delivered it to my house yesterday, and my mom gave it to Miss Pilsbury to give me today so I would be able to handle whatever he wrote better." Rachel placed a hand gently over Quinn's clasped ones, "And?"

Quinn snapped her eyes to Rachel's, "and...I guess I just needed a lot of closure after reading it." Rachel nodded her head understandingly before noticing the sudden fear in Quinn's eyes. She quickly retrieved her hand as the Blonde stood up from the piano bench panicking.

"I shouldn't of said all that, I sorry I just…I got confused, and sad...and you were there and... oh god I can't believe I just said all of that." Quinn was pacing backwards, her eyes flickering to Rachel's in a terrified manner.

"-No Quinn it's okay I don't mi-..." Rachel was quickly interrupted.

"Just!"...Quinn stopped as she reached the doorway, "Just, don't tell any one okay?' her eyes pleaded with the Diva's and before Rachel could understand the mood switch, her mouth was moving for her,

"I promise."

-In a blink Quinn was gone from the room and Rachel was stood by the piano, confused and in shock at what the hell had just happened between the two girls. She glanced to the side as she sighed and quickly noticed Quinn's book still resting on top of the piano. Hastily the girl grabbed the book and ran out the room and headed straight for the car park.

She flew out of the double doors to see Quinn, reversing from her space and driving away. "No Quinn, you forgot your..." as the headlights vanished, Rachel realized Quinn either couldn't hear her, or chose not to. "-Book..." She looked to the ground and bit the inside of her lip in frustration. Then as a droplet fell onto her dolly shoes, she realized she hadn't even noticed the pouring rain in all her hysteria. She looked up to the sky and shut her eyes as she allowed the dark clouds above to hurl their oceans over her. She imprinted the feeling of the rain against her skin in her mind, and mentally cleansed herself of the frustration she felt. She took a deep breath before opening her eyes to look down at the book she held tightly in two hands. It was a small worn, yet precious little thing. And from a quick registration of the word 'Bronte', Rachel knew she was holding a copy of Wuthering Heights. She quickly double took the moment in her brain. -'Noah reads classic literature?'

Confused was the understatement of the century. Confused, and wet...or rather soaked, from the rain. But she found herself glued to the spot, unable to move out of the opened heavens drenching her. She was far too engrossed in what on earth this book had to do with Quinn and Noah, and the mess they were both in. She could see a page had been marked with something placed inside and naturally, her curiosity over took as Rachel carefully opened the book to the marked page.

A folded up letter addressed to Quinn had been placed inside the book. And just as Rachel thought the page, and the Chapter (15) of the book was of equal irrelevance, she saw that part of the book had been highlighted. She found the rain was pouring on to both the page and the letter so she quickly ran under the shelter of the school doorways arch. To eager in anticipation to straighten her appearance, Rachel quickly opened the book back to its marked page and squinted her eyes to make sense of the highlighted quote:

_"Kiss me again, but don't let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer-but yours! How can I?"_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Okay so I guess I'm getting there. And well done for finishing the page if you're reading this, I know it was a long chapter in comparison to the previous two. Anyhoo, please, please, please let me know what you thought as your feedback really does let me know if I'm headed in the right direction with this! Thank you all! -Hope you like the next installment.<strong>_

_**The songs used in this one were- Everything I own, by 'Bread' & Colors, by 'Amos Lee'  
><strong>_


	4. 9 Crimes

_**Chapter Three- 9 Crimes**_

_October (Senior Year)_

It had been three weeks and four days. It had been three weeks and four days since that day in the choir room between the two girls. Nearly four weeks without the incident ever being mentioned. Nearly four weeks and Noah Puckerman had still failed to return to McKinley. It had been nearly four weeks and Quinn Fabray had become a shadow of herself. She still smiled that wonderful smile, she still glowed that perfect porcelain colour; and she still arched that infamous brow as those vibrant hazel emeralds took you in. But what everyone failed to notice was the moment she thought no one was looking. The moment the girl held back a choke and glanced to the clouded window absent-mindlessly... a rare moment so beautiful, but so transcendent of her character, she revealed the shell of her soul that was left behind the armored mask. This was the moment that Rachel had observed for the last three weeks and four days. This was the hypnotic mystery the Brunette had allowed to take over her mind, and overwhelm her inner thoughts every time she sat in that AP English Literature class. -A class that normally revealed the intelligence and passion Quinn Fabray had been hiding, something Rachel had come to admire and respect her enemy for over the years. Something that now seemed but a distant memory.

"Rachel as interesting as the other side of the classroom is, I would rather you pay attention and tell me what I just asked you?" Miss Taylor had a habit of being particularly all seeing, something her and Quinn shared in common, 'must be a Book worm characteristic' Rachel told herself.

"Well technically speaking I found my interests peaked by a bird flying past the window, Miss Taylor. So naturally my mind flew in to a warp of thoughts related to 'To Kill A mockingbird' and how odd it is that the bird has no idea how famous it truly is, what with us all sat here reading about it as we speak." confident with her avoidance of humiliation Rachel perked herself up and smiled brightly only to frown as the rest of the room began to chuckle to themselves.

"Well 'technically' Rachel, that was a fascinating story. And I say 'story' as had you been paying attention, and not staring intently at whatever was so interesting about Miss Fabray today, you would have not failed to notice the book on your desk. -Somehow I feel 'To Kill A Mockingbird' was a relevant excuse last week, but seeing as today we're studying 'The Great Gatsby' now, the excuse unfortunately falls flat on itself." -Sure enough in front of her was the Fitzgerald classic novel. Immediately Rachel's face turned bright red as her students erupted in laughter.

'Oh well nicely played Rachel, if Quinn avoiding you before wasn't bad enough, now she thinks you're a creepy stalker! Maybe she didn't hear and she- nope oh lord she staring straight at me with that eye brow raised perfectly as per usual. Oh and she isn't even showing me any emotion! Is she happy, sad, amused...how am I supposed to tell when she insists on looking so darn poetic and glamorous at all times! Look at her, even when she has bloodshot, tired eyes she some how pulls it off. She loses weight and sleep, and is clearly not herself, and yet somehow she looks just as flawless in that white summer dress with her hair tied back in a bun as she would do was she attending the Oscars wearing Alexander McQueen'.

As the laughter died down Rachel realized, that unless she wanted to be branded a female clone to Jacob Ben Israel, she would need to finally talk to Quinn. Finally dealing with all this nonsense and ridiculous iron tension between the two of them. As she glanced up to the clock she took note that there was only twenty minutes left of the day. Twenty more minutes and the two of them would finally talk about what happened, and the truth that Quinn undoubtedly knows she now knows. Or at least if she didn't before, she most certainly did now due to the public revelation of Rachel's constant observations of the Blonde in class...

It's not like Quinn needed to be so wary of Rachel. Despite all of her annoying flaws, the one positive quality Rachel had was her unfaltering honesty. She promised she wouldn't say a word, and Quinn had to know she had meant it. Everyone knew that while a gossip was part of Rachel's genetics, the second she made a promise to keep a secret; she would keep that secret forever and take it to her grave if she had too. And from what Noah's note had said, Rachel suspected she most likely would have to do the very same with this secret as well.

* * *

><p><em>September (Three weeks and Four days ago)<em>

The harshly falling droplets pattered against the cars windows, and the dark cloud effectively left the inside of the car in near darkness. Rachel had been sat in the drivers seat to her car now for over forty minutes. Frozen in the same spot, head bowed down as her brown orbs remained locked at the item in her hands. Her clothes were now dry, and the torrential downfall outside seemed somewhat invisible to her. All Rachel could hear was her heart beating rapidly with anticipation as she focused on the folded piece letter tightly gripped in her tanned fingers.

She had two options...read it, or don't read it. She could open up her mind to Quinn's deepest thoughts and world, or she could accept that she had no place there. -But that was just the thing. She couldn't. For all of Rachel's might, she couldn't escape the feeling that maybe she had to be part of Quinn's world… maybe she needed to be. She closed her eyes and wrestled with her conscious, focusing on the cashmere darkness she found herself surrounded by. -That is, until she found her thoughts drifting back to that outstanding picture in her mind. Back to that small gap in the door of the choir room, and through it; the image of a black piano, and those delicate fingers upon it. Those fragile hands, that led to the body of that lonely and hurting Blonde in a white cardigan and short yellow dress. The picture perfect angel breaking... that was the Quinn, that Rachel couldn't let go of. That was the girl Rachel knew she had to help from whatever darkness was consuming her, with apparently only Mike Chang as a support system, she really was losing this fight to a clear depression. So yes, Rachel 'needed' to read the letter. She needed to read it and understand, so that maybe she could save Quinn from herself, and show her she wasn't lying at Junior prom when she told her she was "the prettiest girl she had ever met; but she was so much more than that".

Opening her eyes with a new found determination; she quickly reached up to turn the cars light on, allowing herself some source of light amongst the dark dread she currently found herself in. She squinted at the letter, and took note of the delicacy of the Noah's handwriting where he had written Quinn's name. With just one word he had expressed his clear care and affection for the girl, she would never have known the two were so close before any of this. Before she could realize her actions, the letter was unfolded and Rachel found herself staring at the inner works of Quinn's pain. Her eyes began to slowly track the words and take in every word the boy had expressed to his friend.

_Quinn,_

_I think it's fair I owe you some sort of explanation for what the hell has been going on with me. But from what we both know I know, it's fair to say you owe me the same._

_You were always gorgeous, 'smoking really', and I know I made my jokes, but that's just because I couldn't believe you had ever even looked my way. And then when you were pregnant with Beth I couldn't believe it when you told me I could have my chance with you. You were the girl of my dreams, always out of reach, and here you, actually wanted me. That's when I realized, you were just that... the girl of my dreams. There's a reason everyone fantasizes about the girl next door. They know in reality, it won't ever happen. I was holding you back, you were meant to get out of this town and I knew I would only hold you back. So I sabotaged us. It seemed the only way._

_But then when Beth was born I realized… I had completely blown it. You were the love of my life, everything I couldn't touch, and you had just created a miracle with me. And thanks to the way I acted, you felt we couldn't of been the parents she needed. I guess you were right. If I hadn't done what I had, then we both know we would be together and raising her right this second. We would finally of been a family, and I would of made sure you finally got out of this place, and more than anything...I'd of made you happy again Quinn._

_You're so broken; I see it everyday as I pass you in the hallway. I see it when you smile at your friends; I see it when you sing like an angel. -You're just falling further each day, and no one is catching you. And what's worse is I did this to you. I broke you Quinn. I'm the reason Mike found you crying that day in the auditorium. I'm the reason; he had to hold you for an hour as you cried. -I know what Tina said, she told me you told Mike you and your Mom had rowed. -And I know that isn't the truth. Don't you see? I know you Quinn. I see you for who you are and I love you more than anything but I can't be with you just as much. Every time I see you I'm reminded of how beautiful you are, how much I love you... but then I see that glimmer of doubt in your eyes and I see how I'm the reason you're hurting._

_You always told me when we were alone I was different, a better man. The truth was I was only better for you. But as you fixed me, I saw more and more what it was doing to you. How the world trampled on you and never looked back. I gave you this letter with your copy of Wuthering Heights you left at mine. Remember at night you would read it to Beth and me? I never understood it at the time, why Heathcliff acted the way he did. The dude was so selfish and messed up. And Cathy was just, well...you._

_After my outburst when I thought I had lost you to Mike, I realized; you were trying to tell me back then. I started reading this and everything made sense. You were telling me how much you were hurting and needed me to stop it. It was when I got to this page and saw the words I highlighted them as they say everything I can't._

_"Kiss me again, but don't let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer-but yours! How can I?"_

_How am I supposed to stay in Lima and see you every day when I'm so chaotic I'm just killing you slowly, more so than the stupid town already is? I need to fix this. I need to find me, and maybe with it the man you deserve. And if I die trying to be him for you, I'll love my murderer forever, but if I stay here, and you die because of me...then I will never forgive myself Quinn._

_I hope when I return I'll be closer to the man you deserve. And more than anything, I pray that when I return, you won't have given up on the world just yet._

_Please hold on Quinn, hold on for me._

_Noah._

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

Rachel shuddered at the memory consuming her. Quinn Fabray, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, and the perfect angel of beauty, was struggling to hold on to her existence. The picture perfect girl was standing, waiting at the crossroads, with the gun ready to pass to anyone who would take it and finally pull the trigger for her. Finally pull the trigger and release her from her pain. As she waited on the black stage by the piano where Quinn had once tried to save Rachel from the life-consuming binds of this town, the Brunette told herself that this time, she would be returning the favour.

Quinn found herself staring at the crumpled note once more, 'Meet me, auditorium, we need talk sometime Quinn'. -If anything Rachel Berry always was good at saying things for what they were, and things were currently at a state where they needed to be said. Despite the wonderful game of feigning complete ignorance Quinn had mastered lately. She honestly thought since that unfortunate day of particular vulnerability things were going okay. -Okay so she was getting even less sleep if that was possible, and after collapsing in her kitchen last week her mom was worried out of her mind, convinced she was starving herself. But other than that, things were as normal as ever. Her school days were coming to an end. Glee was managing better than ever, Sam had moved in with Finn and returned to McKinley, oh and this Irish exchange student Rory was actually probably the most genuine person McKinley had ever been graced with. -Not that McKinley appreciated his pure nature, he was being bullied and slushied from day one, yet despite this the boy remained optimistic and happy. (He claimed that he looked forward to college where girls would find his heritage 'sexy' and fall for him on the spot, his optimism was admirable really. She had made amends with all her enemies; she had made a point of making sure that when she chose to finally leave this place, she would have no regrets. She would always be remembered with warmth. The plan was flawless.

Well, flawless apart from two parts. She couldn't let go yet -it would destroy Puck. If Quinn was being honest with herself, he was the only reason she hadn't jumped off the billboard before the start of senior year. She was barely hanging on by a thread, but she was hanging on for him.

-The second flaw was the author of the note that had been placed at her desk as the Brunette exited AP English Literature that day. She could ignore it and go home, but Quinn knew her ex-rival, she arguably knew her better than anyone. The truth is she couldn't ignore the note, because Rachel Berry was the single most determined person she had ever met. And if she ignored the note, Rachel would do what ever it took to make Quinn speak to her eventually... especially now she knew. There was no doubt Quinn had her suspicions Rachel had read the letter after she came to school early on Monday and searched the choir room but the book was gone. It was only today when Rachel was caught giving her a sad puppy expression in class that these suspicions were confirmed.

Biting her lip and shuffling her feet, Quinn rested against her locker, her bag over her shoulder, and her coat and scarf wrapped around her ready to leave in an attempt to drag out the inevitable just a little longer. But as her feet began to carry her down the hallway, Quinn mentally cursed herself as they led her away from the McKinley entrance, and instead towards the auditorium.

She entered the large space and stared down at the stage, there, sat alone by the grand piano was Rachel. On top of the piano, and just in front of the girl was the book that held all of her secrets. She found her heart racing, and so much of her wanting to run back up the stairs she was currently descending and to just hide forever. As she reached the end of the stage, and begrudgingly walked across it to the piano; Rachel stood and waited for her smiling sympathetically. The Blonde suddenly felt her old defenses firing up.

"Look Berry I didn't exactly come here for any pity, I don't what you 'think' you read but I-"

"Are you honestly going to try and sidestep this as if it was nothing?" the brunette fired back, hurt and frustration in her dark eyes as she held the book in the air to make her point clear. Quinn looked to the book and found herself suddenly without words, tears pricked her eyes as she made eye contact with the other girl. 'What the hell is with this dam room and Rachel Berry making me feel things?' she found herself mentally cursing.

"Quinn, I..." Rachel's expression had softened the second she saw a flicker of the real Quinn in the girls eyes once more. "I can't believe you're going through this on your own. Noah was right, you don't have to give up just yet, you will make it out of here and then-"

"Then what?" Rachel found herself speechless as Quinn walked towards her, painfully close without breaking eye contact as she continued, "then I go on and sell real-estate some where else? Or I just have another kid and become a miserable housewife?"

Rachel stepped forward as she tried to interrupt but quickly backtracked as Quinn took another intimidating step towards her.

"Remember last time we were in this very position Rachel? Remember how I told you I would be stuck here forever with Finn and you could go on to become the star you are? Remember how you fought my words with every fiber of your being to prove Finn belonged with you far more than he ever would with me?"

"Quinn, I-"

"Remember," the Blonde was standing toe to toe with the Brunette now, the girl's hairs rising as Quinn leaned in and softly spoke into Rachel's ear, "-remember, how you never tried to prove me wrong about the part where I would be stuck in Lima forever Rachel?"

Quinn pulled away from Rachel to see that now even the diva's eyes were flooding with hurt, "I'm so sorry Quinn, you know you won't get stuck here, you have so much more to you than people realize, and you just need to show them that. Show them so they regret how they didn't notice you."

"-and then what? Carry on living with nothing but pity and sympathy? I had one thing that mattered Rachel! One thing that kept me alive, and now..." Quinn found her eyes closing as her legs gave way beneath her as the emotions took hold once more.

Rachel quickly fell to Quinn's side and gently took the Blonde's hand in hers as she rubbed it softly with her thumb. As Quinn choked back her tears Rachel's other hand reached out and brushed Quinn's hair from her face, placing a strand behind her ear as Quinn opened her eyes to reconnect with Rachel once more.

"And now..." Quinn's voice was breaking as she spoke, "the one thing keeping me alive is gone because I hurt him".

Rachel's heart literally melted for Quinn's on the spot. Overwhelmed with guilt and despair at her ignorance as well as everyone else's.

"If there's is one thing I know about the lonely from my years of studying 'Les Miserable' religiously", Quinn let out a small laugh and Rachel smiled tenderly as she continued, "it's that, even the lonely have companions in each other." Quinn found herself squeezing Rachel's hand in hope. "No body needs to be alone Quinn, and as much as you dislike me... I'll make sure that you never are anymore." Rachel took both of Quinn's hands and pulled her to her feet.

"You just need to trust me with the gun, and know that I won't ever be pulling the trigger on you. Not for as long as I breathe. You can't give up, life's too beautiful Quinn, you just need to open your eyes to it."

The girls stayed like that, just standing contently in each others presence; for what seemed like hours but in reality, could have been little more than a few minutes. Rachel realized she was still holding Quinn's hands. And furthermore, Quinn wasn't running away this time. The Brunette gently pulled Quinn to the piano bench and sat her down. Noticing the girl was now staring at the book that lay on top of the piano, Rachel reached out and cupped Quinn's cheek, turning her gaze to face her.

"Whenever something intense throws me off the tracks, I always find expressing myself is by far the most effective therapy. -After the last two years with Shelby and facing rejection from my mother twice, I sort of had a lot of expressing to do." Quinn simply nodded, her understanding gaze unfaltering. Rachel felt Quinn reaching up to capture the hand on her cheek. Her finger grazed Rachel's and Rachel found Quinn leaning in to her touch. The moment was so tender and pure, lasting only a few seconds before Quinn's fingers pulled back, and Rachel withdrew her hand quickly and placed her fingers on the piano keys. As the low melody began to play, Quinn found herself staring at the book before her and wondering if maybe she wouldn't end the same way as Cathy. She wondered if maybe, she could write her own ending. -While Rachel focused her eyes intently on the white keys she was pressing, struggling to understand how just the touch of Quinn's 'oh so delicate' fingers, had shot electricity down her bones and caused her heart to beat so rapidly...

* * *

><p><em>September (Three weeks and four days ago)<em>

After the choir room incident with Rachel, Quinn couldn't bare to face the diva. 'Cried, not just tears, but a fricking ocean spilled from my eyes-ugh! Way to look desperate and pathetic. Not to mention you left the book there, oh lord what if she finds it? She could read it and find the letter. It's bad enough I know my problems, it's humiliating knowing somebody else knows too.' Quinn had found herself so ashamed she hadn't even left the house that day. She told her mom she needed to rest to try and get back to her normal self. -Judy Fabray instantly agreed out of desperation to help her daughter out of this bizarre and sudden 'funk' she had fallen into.

As she climbed the ladder of her billboard, she found herself wishing she had just come here yesterday rather than going to that choir room. She mocked herself for causing even more stress to her life, 'as now Rachel Berry has probably caught on to how the resident daughter of the proud W.A.S.P family; is actually so suffocated by her life she is contemplating suicide. Just perfect!'

She pulled herself over the railings and looked out to the world behind her, wondering how every time she told herself this was as bad as it could get, the universe would force itself to find just one more thing that could go wrong.

Quinn started to shove the railings in front of her to express her anger, and before she could contemplate what was happening, the tears were streaming down her face as she aggressively rattled the railings, screaming out her frustrations to all Ohio.

"Why. Don't. You. See. Me? Why. Do. None. Of. You. Even. CARE?" Quinn kicked the railings as she screamed, "I'M STILL HERE! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME TOO?" She threw herself at the railings and felt the wind get painfully thrown from her lungs as she fell to the floor. Crumpled on the floor of the billboard's railings, with her ribs aching in agony, Quinn slowly lifted herself from the ground. She looked up to look out at her town once more as she finally felt the pain she was in, and softly whimpered, "Why did you leave here?"

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself, and then turned her body to get up and leave, only she halted as she noticed the change in her own personalized Ohio sign. -Just below her bold red message, was an italic, black spray-painted reply. Quinn glance at the words and couldn't help but lose all train of thought as the words spoke to her on so many levels she would never be able to comprehend. As she lay there in her hour of pain, it was as if someone was watching, and this was their own way of telling her that they still saw her.

_"Catherine's face was just like the landscape-shadows and sunshine flitting over it in rapid succession; but the shadows rested longer, and the sunshine was more transient..."_ -Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

* * *

><p>Quinn found her conscious slipping back to the present as she heard the sound of Rachel's humming to the piano beside her. Quinn listened to Rachel's tune, and realized almost instantaneously what song she was playing for Quinn to sing. As if her mouth was connected to her soul, she began to sing...<p>

_Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back_

_At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?_

_All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one_

_Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns_

Quinn found herself looking from Rachel's fingers on the white keys, to Rachel's chocolate orbs, and then to the book before her once more. She closed her eyes and instantly saw McKinley's hallway with a sea of people crowding it. Then just as the ocean began to part, she saw him. Standing there, smiling his crooked smirk in all his childish mohawked glory. The crowd faded and then it was him, and only him that she could see in her mind.

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

_I'll breathe again_

As the melody continued she heard Rachel begin the second verse, the diva softly sang the words as Quinn kept her eyes closed and focused on the one aspect in her mind...

_Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth_

_And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view_

_Hang my head; break my heart built from all I have torn apart_

_And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore_

Quinn saw Puck slowly walking towards her in her mind. Still smiling, still smirking, and still everything she longed for as she began to harmonize Rachel's chorus.

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

Quinn stopped singing as she opened her eyes to see tears springing from Rachel's closed ones, as the Brunette belted the next few lines that clearly effected whatever she was currently picturing in her mind. Quinn had a feeling it was either to do with her mother Shelby's return to her life, or facing the failure of her and Finn's relationship once again.

But as Rachel kept her eyes closed tight, neither of these two people were even remote factors of what she saw in her mind right now. She saw only one person. And she was shocked at exactly what she felt as she saw them.

_It hurts to be here_

_I only wanted love from you_

_It hurts to be here_

_What am I gonna do?_

Quinn placed her hand on Rachel's knee, for the diva's promised support, as she prepared to belt out the last chorus with her everything. Rachel still shut her eyes tightly, for fear of losing the feeling in her mind at the current moment. The piano reverted to the chorus' chords and the two girls put their entire being into the song..

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching_

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

_I'll breathe again_

The auditorium was filled with nothing but the panting of the two girls, and the mass of tension that had just been exposed with the force of emotions that had just been felt. Rachel kept her eyes closed as she lifted one of her hands to take hold of the one on her knee, squeezing it tightly. Quinn found herself tightly squeezing Rachel's hand back as her tears openly fell and she gazed at the book before her. She refused to let go of the hand, in appreciation of the support the diva was blessing her with.

Rachel however found herself refusing to let go of Quinn's hand for another reason; she was forcing the entire moment into her memory: the rush, the feeling… the surrealism of it all. But above all, the image of those crowds parting in that hallway, parting like the red sea to reveal the person she never truly saw before. As she held the Blonde's hand she saw the crowd finally fully revealing her unrequited love the song had opened her to. Standing in the hallway in a short and graceful white dress, submerged in Rachel's thoughts as her terrified tears fell... was Quinn.

* * *

><p><em><strong>DA DA DAAAAAUUUUMMMM! -Oh yes...I went there =P<strong>_

_**Okay so I'm really liking where this is going and I'm so happy you guys are actually reading it. Please review and let me know your thoughts. Also, I know some of the readers, are most likely Faberry shippers, and there is a lot of Quick happening at the moment. Well good things come to those who wait, so wait! The girls will start exploring their feelings over the next few chapters, particularly Rachel so don't worry just yet! **_

_**Songs used- Breathe Again, by 'Sara Barellies'  
><strong>_


	5. Something That You Said

**Chapter Four- Something That You Said**_  
><em>

_November (Sophomore Year)_

_"I don't care if that baby comes out with a Mohawk, I will go to my grave swearing it is Finn's"...she desperately closed her eyes as she bowed her head in denial of the feelings choking the air between them. Behind her she heard shuffling, as the boy drew nearer to her, so close she could feel his breath on her neck. So close she could feel his hands gently tracing the outline of her body. So close she could swear that she could feel his rough stubble grazing against her cheek in a longing embrace. The two of them, trapped in a perfect moment in time._

_-"It would be pretty awesome if it had a Mohawk" as she opened her eyes and turned to face him standing behind her. She prepared herself to berate the boy for typically destroying a beautiful moment between them, but as she looked into his dark eyes and caught sight of his triumphant grin, the anger instantly faded... replaced by a need. -A need to get even._

_"You are such an egghead" she sighed as she cautiously placed her fingers over her weapon of choosing._

_"No I'm not" he retaliated, with a mixture of insecurity and playfulness to his tone. But as he saw the joking glistening of her eyes his insecurities faded as the corner of his lips twisted into his trademark smirk. He leaned impossibly close to her as his nose almost kissed her cheek. The fire between the two turning into an intoxicating white flame as his lips drew nearer and nearer to the destination he longed for so much. So close as they-_

_-As the shell cracked and the thick, yoke oozed into his hair he froze in place, his eyes shutting in disbelief. She quickly leaned away from his predatory stance and found herself unable to hold back the schoolgirl snigger as she watched the egg slide down his face._

_He opened his eyes, and as he saw her with that gleaming smile, and sheer excitement in her eyes, all the annoyance for the hours spent on his hair that day faded as they were replaced with even more love for the girl in front of him. Sighing he turned away from her to grab some flour before quickly twisting and blowing it dramatically into her face._

_"That was perfectly measured" the Blonde gasped as she saw the challenge in his expression. Never able to turn back from a challenge she grabbed the bag of Coco powder to her side and tossed some of its contents onto him. He tried to fight back, tipping the rest of the flour all over her face but was caught off guard as she then emptied the remaining contents of the bag of Coco powder over him, covering him in a chocolate flavour mess._

_She laughed as she emptied the bag on him, and mockingly, slowly dropped it to the ground and raised her eyebrows as it hit the floor comically. As she bit her bottom lip and looked to her feet she shrugged her shoulders as if to say 'oops'. But her laughter stopped instantly as she felt his hands grab her wrists urgently. His previously menacing jester of an expression now replaced by a deep, wanting look of lust. She froze in place as he took a step towards her, encircling her in his strong arms, before locking eyes with her in a burning gaze of intensity._

_She gulped as his hand reached up to softly stroke her cheek. It was so warm that before she knew it she found herself leaning into his touch. Then, as their faces grew nearer and nearer, she began to close her eyes as she felt his lips just inches away as she-_

_"What's going on here?" -as the sound of Finn's voice abruptly ended the moment, now a distant memory of feeling._

* * *

><p><em>November (Senior Year)<em>

-"So help me beautiful, if you don't snap out of it now then I will be forced to cover your charming clothing in flour" Quinn was awoken from her daydream to the sound of Kurt's voice, impatiently waiting for her to come round from her submissive memories.

"Hello, do you hear me Barbie?"

'Oh crap he's actually holding the flour ready to aim. He wouldn't, he loves fashion more than anybody and dam it I look good today... he wouldn't dare. Then again he does have that look in his eye. -Like he's going to ravage me actually, oh lord this is his sexy face? What does Blaine even see in him? -Wait...is that...oh wow that's his menacing look! Oh that is just embarrassing! I can't even breathe, oh no... Now he just looks pissed, I'm laughing out loud aren't I? Oh god, a few heart to hearts with Berry and you start acting like her, lack of filter included! Wait a minute, Barbie?'

-"Barbie?" Quinn snapped out of her track of thought to the realization of the flaw in Kurt's offense. "That would be offensive, if it was still even relevant. Although seeing as I broke up with Sam last year,"

-"He broke up with you because you-"

"AS I WAS SAYING!"

Kurt looked down, sheepishly to the counter as the Blonde continued her defense argument, "As I was saying, Kurt, if I was with Sam then the argument would be relevant. But I'm not. 'Air go' it's not...agreed?" she raised her eyebrow to clarify and emphasis her words and Kurt looked up to study her hard expression. He smirked as he registered the essence of her old fire and smiled warmly to her, glad to see her back in reality, and actually smiling for once.

"Agreed... and Quinn?"

The blonde relaxed her face as she registered her Home Economics partner and slowly nodded to inform him to continue.

"It's nice to have you back, it's been kind of a while".

She smiled and hugged him as she tried to keep her back tracking thoughts to her self. Thoughts of how it's happening again. People aren't seeing her. They're assuming she's fine again. The only difference between her now, and her a month ago is that now she hides it better after discovering Berry had got through her defenses. She should be grateful seeing as it worked, seeing as she was successful. But as her fingertips played with the hairs on Kurt's neck she found her breath shaking back the loneliness that still haunted her. The loneliness, everything that was misplaced in her life... and above all, the absence of a certain individual, and an all to familiar essence of flour and baking.

As she found herself once again, with her feet dangling of the railings of the billboard, staring beyond her black skinny's, the breeze sending chills down the back of her loose white vest top Kurt had so kindly spared earlier that day. The truth is she wasn't here to jump; she was here to dream. Dream about how it was supposed to be. How it should have been her, Puck and their now one-year-old daughter, cuddled on the sofa as they watched the cheesy television available that evening, before settling on reading her a bedtime story instead. And as she kissed her daughter goodnight, he would kiss both of his favorite girls.

The cold splash of rain on her nose woke her from her daydream. Harshly crashing her senses back into the reality she was stuck in. her fingers delicately toyed with the metal bar they held on to, as she tilted her head up to the dark clouds beginning to open their showers on to her. The Blonde's eyes naturally slid shut once more, as she embraced the feeling, the cold flecks covering her skin as the angry evening breeze swept her hair behind her face.

-The truth is, she hadn't felt this alive in what seemed like an eternity. And after Rachel, she realized she couldn't give up on her fragile glass life just yet. If she gave up now, she may never know if she would get out of here, if Puck would return, and if he would still want her. If they could actually defy the writers of the universe and break free from their eternal strings, finally grasping that happy ending they longed for.

The truth is, she would never of believed Berry to be the one to make her see. The one to make her realize how ridiculous she had become. So set on this Shakespearean tragedy she had been cast in from birth...so determined to see it through. It wasn't until Rachel brought her to someone who could truly show her the narcissistic nature of her reflection that she finally saw it. She finally saw that by letting them win, letting them finally pull the trigger, she was forcing her own unhappiness. She closed her self off, and took her own spiral into darkness; she just needed Rachel's light to shine on the door for her. The door of potential, possibilities...hope.

* * *

><p><em>Two weeks ago...<em>

_They had barely spoken into two weeks. Truth be told they had barely spoken their entire lives. But now, now Rachel had seen the real Quinn. The Quinn despite all her convictions, the girl she longed for in her dreams. The girl she could never have. -She found herself appreciating the drama of her current predicament, but that didn't stop the hurt of knowing Quinn would never see her the same. -Not that she even understood how she saw her, she just knew that when Quinn was around she would feel so intense, so inexplicably electric... that lighting bolted life into her lungs the moment she saw her. It was a feeling she didn't understand, and one she found herself loathing how alone in it she was._

_But what hurt more, than being unconditionally confused and unrequited in her feelings; was know Quinn still didn't believe she had something to live for. -How could the one person who could make Rachel feel more alive in one look than she ever had in front of any audience or any lover... how could they feel like they had nothing to live for._

_She had suspected she hadn't truly got through to Quinn over the last two weeks, she had suspected it, and today in the park, she had confirmed it. She had been on her way to coach a singing student when she had walked into the park that served as a boarder between hers and Quinn's house. The two had had countless showdowns here over the years, countless screaming, and tantrums, and in all honesty, countless moments they were both as in the wrong as each other. But never before had she seen the Blonde here, alone. -Alone...vulnerable really._

_The girl before her sat on the swing set, her head leaning against the chains as she swayed gently in a daze. The Brunette could only see the side of her face, but from it, she found herself filled with two things._

_The first was awe and wonder at how flawlessly Quinn made any moment so tranquil, beautiful and haunting in time like a perfect memory ready for capturing. -The second thing that filled the Brunette was anger. How is it Quinn could sit there, and cry lonely tears of thoughts that surrounded her with suicide. How could she sit there and want to selfishly leave this place, this world...when doing so would no doubt break Rachel completely._

_'Lonely? She knows lonely?' Rachel found herself screaming internally. 'She has no idea what true longing and loneliness feels like! At least she has hope Puck will come back! What about me? What the hell do I have?' Rachel found her eyes pricking with unwanted emotion as they always did around the Blonde as her feet betrayed her as she stormed up to the swing set._

_The Blonde sighed deeply, allowing a single tear of pain slip down her cheek as she looked down to her feet._

_-"Get up." She looked up to see, 'who else' standing before her, looking...'angry?' Quinn found herself questioning._

_"Did you not hear me? Get up! You're coming with me." Rachel stated cleanly and securely. Quinn's fingers gripped the swings chains as she stared into Rachel's eyes with uncertainty as if to ask her 'why?'_

_"I have something to show you." Rachel seemed to understand what Quinn wanted to say as she held out her hand and patiently waited for a sign of trust._

_Quinn's eye's dropped to the outstretched hand before her, and before she could register what was happening, porcelain fingers had perfectly entwined with tanned, and the two girls walked in silence out of the park, and to wherever Rachel was leading her._

_As Quinn followed Rachel into the house, she had no idea what she was supposed to expect. The look the Brunette had given her when she found her, had convinced her that whatever was in this house, was going to be used to help Rachel kick the crap out of her for still feeling this way. But something was off. The woman who answered the door had smiled brightly as she saw Rachel, the two of them enveloping in a hug as if forgetting Quinn's presence temporarily. The woman looked over to Quinn with a kind a warm smile and then turned to Rachel for an introduction. Quinn remembered how Rachel had stuttered before calling Quinn her friend. Rachel obviously still didn't see her that way the Blonde concluded; it actually hurt knowing she still felt intimidated by her._

_-Rachel remembered how she had stuttered trying to introduce Quinn as her...friend? As...Hers?_

_Next Rachel had simply asked if 'he was ready', to which the woman had told them to walk straight on through. Which led her to this moment. Confused as hell, expecting the crapped kicked out of her, but unable to see how that could occur in such a loving home. Rachel walked to the back of the house and pushed the final door in the hallway ajar, walking inside before warmly greeting the room's occupant._

_Quinn hesitantly followed and stepped into the room, her eyes focused on her feet intently. 'What the hell was Rachel's angle bring me here?' She cursed internally._

_"Sean, I'd like you to meet Quinn. -Quinn, this is my dear friend Sean". Quinn looked up and over to the sound of Rachel's voice and saw her sitting by a single bed, smiling kindly, with a look of sympathy in her eyes as if she was telling Quinn that no she wasn't going to brutally beat her up. She would instead, make her feel terribly selfish and cold._

_For lying in the bed beside Rachel, was a tall handsome boy smiling kindly at her. It was then she noticed the wheelchair in the corner of the room. She took note of the pictures on the walls, Sean was wearing a sports jersey in each and everyone, smiling brightly...standing tall. That's when Rachel's intentions became horrifically clear to Quinn as she gulped and looked to Rachel with pleading eyes. Begging her not to make her feel even worse. -Rachel's eyes seemed to reflect the pain in Quinn's but they were also filled with understanding as she parted her lips, "Quinn, come sit by me, there's room here"._

_"Okay you said she was beautiful Rachel, you left out stunningly breathtaking!" Sean turned his head to Rachel grinning playfully as Quinn kept her head down in embarrassment as she took a seat next to the Brunette._

_"Sean, shut up!"_

_-"Embarrassed?"_

_"Sean..." This time Rachel glared at him, as if to communicate the dangerous waters he was treading. He quickly realized there was something about Rachel's relationship with this girl she wouldn't normally shut up about, that she wasn't telling him. -Something that the other girl was clearly clueless to the existence of. He shared a look of sympathy before turning to Quinn._

_"Seriously though, was I not paralyzed chest down I'd...whom I kidding? Please marry me!"_

_Quinn burst out laughing before she could contain it, clasping her hand over her mouth and looking up to see Sean grinning proudly and Rachel biting back a smile._

_"You're quite the comedian then?"_

_"It helps brighten the atmosphere." Sean paused before addressing Quinn more sincerely, "when people realize you can't move, they have a habit of entering this dark guilt. -So I make jokes. I have to really."_

_"You're Finn's friend aren't you?" Sean smirked and Quinn mentally patted herself on the back for actually paying attention, unlike Finn while they dated._

_"I see you've done your research, or Finn refuses to shut up about me as per usual, who can blame him? -I am kind of awesome!" The two girls giggled and Rachel reached out and took hold of Sean's hand._

_"Rachel said you've been going through a pretty rough time lately." his voice was filled with understanding and Quinn turned to Rachel for an explanation._

_"I give Sean singing lessons every week. He helped me two years ago and, well, I felt the need to repay him. Although we tend to just catch up and talk for a lot of the session too."_

_"More like she rambles, and I have to listen. I signed up for singing, not an agony aunt position, you know?" Quinn giggled as Rachel's cheeks filled with a red blush as Sean giggled to himself. Quinn shook her head as she laughed and found herself wanting to wipe the tears from her eyes. As her hands cleared the watery joy, she saw Rachel wiping Sean's eyes for him. The moment made her instantly overwhelmed with new tears, tears for Sean. He was one of the most handsome guys she'd ever seen. He may have been joking earlier, but if they had met on different circumstances, he would have had one hell of a chance with her. Good looking, considerate, and he made her smile... the boy was a catch!_

_It was this realization that also brought on the reality that Sean was never going to have that life. He was never going to win homecoming king. He was never going to have kids. And he definitely wasn't about to walk down the isle. Before she could contain herself, Quinn found her curiosity getting the better of her as she asked him outright._

_"You're so... I mean..." Sean looked to Quinn and his eyes willed her to press on, that it was okay to ask what he was expecting her to._

_"Are you not angry? I mean, you could of had it all, Finn said you were an amazing player and you're hardly unattractive, it's just... they took it all from you. How are you not angry, or at least hurting?"_

_Sean bit his lower lip as he contemplated the answer for Quinn. He then turned to Rachel and ushered her over to whisper something in her ear._

_Quinn watched confused, and waiting in anticipation for the answer to a question from someone who was actually worse off than her. Rachel nodded her head before standing and walking to the other side of the room where there was a chest of drawers. She pulled open to top drawer and reached inside, pulling out a Polaroid camera, and then looking to Sean and sharing a smile._

_"Quinn come sit by me." Quinn looked to him in confusion, but his eyes seemed warm and trustworthy. She moved closer to him and sat where Rachel had before._

_"Smile guys!" Rachel lifted the Polaroid to her face to capture a picture. And Quinn uncomfortably leaned closer to Sean and struck her 'camera' smile._

_"-You said I was hardly unattractive... you find me attractive" Sean muttered and Quinn's 'picture perfect smile cracked as she broke into hysterics as she playfully hit Sean's shoulder before taking hold of his hand._

_"Well, I guess you're not entirely repulsive..." she husked in her best 'seductive' tone as Sean turned to her and smirked, while Quinn leaned in and kissed him softly on the corner of his lips. The two acknowledged the flash of the camera and Quinn pulled away keeping Sean's hand in hers as she returned to her earlier seat sharing a genuine smile with the boy._

_Rachel returned to her seat with the printed Polaroid photo and a sharpie pen. Quinn watched as Rachel leaned back in front of Sean as he whispered something in to her ear once more. The Brunette smiled brightly as she pulled away from him, and scribbled a message on the polaroid picture, before placing the pen and the picture into her bag. Quinn was about to question the action before Rachel interrupted her train of thoughts._

_"So Quinn, since you and Sean get on so well, I wonder if you'd like to duet with him today so we can see if your voices accompany each other just as well?" Quinn looked to the other two, and saw them both grinning in excitement and anticipation. But as she slowly nodded her head in agreement, and Sean erupted in commentary, Quinn found herself staring into Rachel's eyes, the Brunette seeming to mentally smiling as she had achieved what she came here to do. -Show Quinn the bigger picture._

* * *

><p><em>Present<em>

Quinn opened her eyes, the spitting rain still falling onto her face, bringing her back to where she was now. Sat in her regular seat, the railing's of her infamous billboard, only now was different to every time before. Now, she sat there with hope... hope that even if Puck never came back to her, at least she had the experience of love, and that was more than most got in a life time. She had fresh eyes, and amazingly it was all thanks to Rachel. Well, Rachel and Sean of course.

She smirked to herself as she let go of the railings with one hand to reach into her back pocket. She carefully pulled out the Polaroid picture given to her after Rachel walked her back to her door that day. She had thanked the Brunette, and pulled her into a tight hug, needing to feel some comfort from the person who had caught her repeatedly over the last month. Rachel had seemed quite taken back from the encounter and it was only as seconds passed and Quinn refused to let go, that the Blonde felt Rachel returning the embrace as her arms wrapped around her waist, and her hand pressed into her back. It was clear in that moment that the two girls needed each other; they needed each other just to function, just to live.

As Quinn had pulled away and turned to walk into her house Rachel had grabbed her wrist and stopped her to give her the Polaroid picture before muttering goodbye and departing. -The picture that she held in her fingertips right now. A picture with hope, she stared at the Polaroid in her grasp. Written in Rachel's handwriting at the top was a simple, "To Lucy Quinn Fabray" -just the fact that Rachel used her real name had made the picture that much more sentimental to her. And below the writing was the close up picture of her and Sean. He was smiling warmly... happily, as she kissed him with a smile to the corner of her own lips. She looked, well, happy. A genuine, happy moment was caught in time for her. A moment that showed her she needed to start focusing on the less negative parts of the world she hated. Or if not, take that parts she didn't like, and change them, making a difference. Brightening someone's world, like Rachel's singing lessons did to Sean. Or giving someone hope for their future, like Sean had to everyone he met.

Underneath the picture, was another inscription. Written in Rachel's careful handwriting were the words Sean had whispered into her ear... "_If you think it won't get worse, it will. But when you know it won't get better... you're wrong_"

Quinn smiled to herself, and pulled herself up as she made her way to behind the billboard. She had come here today with one purpose... she would write Sean's message of hope for Ohio to see, let everyone know they can't give up the way she did. Let them know... she was wrong. But as she bent down to the bag of spray cans she had hidden in the side of billboard, and pulled her red can out ready to write her message. She was confronted with a message from her black spray-painting angel. A message that's dripping and glimmering paint showed was freshly written. A message that showed her she had walked the walk, but now she had to talk the talk. A message that showed her, her angel was hurting, and she had to give her hope the way she had given Quinn so many weeks ago. The message was clear, and simple in meaning. Her angel was alone, her angel felt invisible, her angel needed her.

"_His hands are saying that he wants to hold her. His feet are saying that he wants to chase after her... He's probably forgotten that I'm here, beside him_"-Ai Yazawa.

* * *

><p><em>Earlier that day<em>

It wasn't as though she had made a habit of watching her. It was more like she had finally, truly looked up on her for the beauty she was, and now she couldn't look away. She could never 'un-see' her grace, she could never erase her painful stain in her life, on her heart. Just the split second of a glance her way, and she felt the world crash down. Just a smile of appreciation, and she found herself breaking with desire. The Brunette had no idea how to handle these emotions she found herself thrown in since she had entered the Blonde's life. But it was the moments where the Blonde would stop smiling her way, stop looking at her, and then continue to live her separate life that hurt the most. The moments that assured Rachel these unwanted feelings were indefinitely not returned.

It hurt just to look at her. Here Rachel was, standing idly in the hallway, unable to step forward as the crowds past her as she felt the moment she realized that these confused emotions towards Quinn Fabray, were emotions of wanting. Quinn stood ahead of her by her locker, chatting aimlessly with Sam and Rory. The two boys seemed to be in awe of her every word, particularly Rory as his eyes seemed transfixed on her Blonde. 'Her Blonde? How could she be?' Rachel realized. But that didn't stop the twisting knife of jealousy she felt at the sight of them. Even now as the boys left, Rachel found herself choking back her breath, trying to deny the raw emotion spilling into her in this moment.

She was just...'perfect' Rachel concluded. She couldn't see anything about the Blonde that was even considerable as a flaw. Even her icy demeanor, and hardened walls became an attraction as Rachel realized they were built to protect those who loved her, and herself from the truth of her vulnerability. Quinn had the power to freeze time, and as Rachel stood in that hallway watching the next action the Blonde made, she hated how she was frozen and unable to take her eyes away from the harsh truth.

The Blonde reached out and opened her locker, placing some books she no longer needed into it. But then she paused, she stared icily as she looked to the ground and inhaled deeply, pursing her lips in pain. She then looked up and pulled her arm out of the locker, in her hand, Puck's letter clutched tightly with cold fingers. As Quinn's eyes shut to hide the tears for the one she longed for, Rachel's pricked icy tears of a similar pain. Finally her feet seemed to unfreeze as she found herself turning away from the harsh truth of inevitable rejection and getting as far away from the scene as possible.

* * *

><p><em>One week later<em>

The diva wasn't shocked that she had ended up at the town's billboard that day. Truth be told it had become a homely refuge to her since she discovered the message months ago. And as she had spotted the spray cans were they had been months ago, she was unable to stop her heart from crying to the stranger who she had helped once. Hoping maybe they could help her now she found herself in so much pain. Recalling a novel of longing, of a character's desperation to be seen by her love, Rachel found her quote flowing freely before she could contain her crying heart. But as she found herself back here one week later, she found herself unable to register the sight before her. Her mystery stranger had actually replied. They had actually shown they cared, shown they appreciated her words by reciprocating their own to her now. Beneath her message, in carefully chosen red words, was her stranger's reply.

"_I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be_"-Nicholas Sparks

But beneath the words of wisdom was a smaller written message, written in a red sharpie beneath the quote. -A quote written from the words of the vandal's author, her mysterious stranger.

_"If you think it won't get worse, it will. But when you know it won't get better... you're wrong"_

-The brunette traced the words with a single tanned finger, as a tear fell from her cheek, as she touched the words of her saving grace, her angel...words of healing, from the very person who had caused the aching wound. The Brunette failed to hold back her gasp of realization as she choked on the thought, "-Quinn?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Okay so there is something I love...and it's reviews. So if by any chance you want to throw my way, they would be greatly appreciated. Just so you know. Not being sarcastic here; nope, my sarcasm is about as funny as my irony. Just saying. ;)<strong>_


	6. You Only Disappear

_**Chapter Five- You Only Disappear**_

_December (Second Grade)_

_The cool breeze blew through the streets of Lima, Ohio. The snowflakes fell as tiny faces pressed their fingers against their windows in awe and curiosity. Many would have called the poetic happening a true winter wonderland, but to one young mind, it would forever be a sign of the arrival of a true beauty. A gentle warning that today, was the moment when she would finally learn how for every person in the world, their is another that holds the power of time over them. Today was the day she would meet her timekeeper._

_"Rachel will you please stop running before you slip and hurt yourself!" Leroy knew he would regret giving into his pleading daughters brown orbs the second he saw her bottom lip summon its well-mastered pout. A pout he was powerless against, a pout that insured the young girl always got what she wanted, a trait she would find incredibly useful in her later life._

_"Rachel, please slow down!" He quickly caught up to the young brunette and grabbed her shoulder, spinning her round to face him._

_"Daddy...I want to play!" The warning signs of a tantrum were emerging as the young girl sniffed mid pout, whilst locking those puppy dog eyes intently with her father. -Leroy immediately cursed his husband for dressing their daughter perfectly to match her adorable features. Her bright pink wellies flooded her tiny legs, and her pink skirt hung just over her knees. Her purple coat seemed to almost entomb her body with nothing but her white-gloved fingertips poking through the sleeves. Naturally a carefully coordinating pink scarf and hat completed the look, and ensured that no matter where the young star went, the sound of 'cooing' and 'awing' would be heard for miles, (a sound she told herself was practice for when she would be like her hero, Miss Barbara)._

_Leroy stared deeply into the desperate eyes and felt his heart soften almost instantaneously._

_"Okay you can go ahead and have fun, but sweetie, please be careful! The ice is-"_

_"-Very slippy and I could get hurt." Leroy laughed at his impatient little girl, rolling her eyes dramatically with a sigh before she continued, "Daddy I have to be famous, I won't be famous like Barbara when I'm in hos..hos..hospi-"_

_"-Hospital?" Leroy chuckled at his daughters frown at her inability to master her vocabulary just yet. "Just promise me you'll stay in one piece if I sit over here on this bench and let you have fun?"_

_Rachel nodded furiously before excitably wrapping her Daddy in a hug, which would have been a wonderfully sweet moment for Leroy Berry, had it not lasted less than a second. He opened his eyes to see his daughter already at the gates of the park's play area, determined to explore the snow. He never would be able to keep a leash on her, he concluded, she was far too much like his husband._

_Rachel prodded through the snow, failing her arms around as she walked through a white filled sand pit, jumping and crashing her wellies enthusiastically as she went. The snow was just too much to handle, too much excitement, she could feel her insides bursting with glee at the thought of it all. She felt, amazing, unstoppable, nothing but pure delight as she..._

_Rachel's moment with herself was interrupted as she looked up to see she wasn't quite as alone as she had thought. Before her on the swing-set was another girl, sat in silence, her head looking away as her eyes gazed in a distant daydream. Rachel didn't know much at this age about the world, but she knew there was something different about this girl…she was striking. -Every aspect of her perfectly shined amongst the frozen winter slumber that surrounded them. Rachel could barely feel her own breath anymore as she stared in wonder at the strange girl that had her frozen to the spot._

_The girl sat on the swing with a picture perfect poise, wearing clothes clearly designed to reflect her natural grace and beauty, as flawless as they truly were. She wore a white dress, with a matching white coat, with a white fur hood drawn down allowing her hair to flow through the icy breeze. She was clearly a similar age, with light brown locks and piercing hazel eyes contrasting to her porcelain skin. She wore red wellies, with a matching scarf and gloves, topped off with a red beret. Rachel had only ever heard of people like this in fairytales, or her dreams, she never knew this kind of beauty, this witchcraft, existed until this moment in time. It was the only explanation; she must be a witch, or maybe an angel. -Rachel quickly confirmed this girl must be an angel, what with the perfect features and radiating purity. The was she felt as though she was frozen in time, unable to move from the spot she was in, unable to do anything, but listen to the sound of her breath against the silence around them. It was magic, witchcraft, the making of fairytales... she had to be an angel, she just had to be._

_"I...I...I" Rachel found herself without words for the first time in her life as she valiantly attempted to break the silence and speak. The muttering awoke the other girl from her trance, and before she knew it, she held back a choke as those hazel eyes connected with hers, revealing the shimmering gold flecks they contained, just adding to the magic of the moment._

_-"You are an angel..." Rachel gasped, but the other girl frowned in confusion, her eyebrows furrowing as she countered, "I'm sorry?"_

_Rachel's eyes blew wide open at the realization she had said that aloud, and maybe she wasn't actually an angel. 'She doesn't even have wings, wow not clever Rachel!' she mentally cursed herself._

_"-I... I said... Hi, I'm Rachel..." She managed to successfully stutter to which the other girl's expression softened into a slight smile, as her eyes glistened and an eyebrow arched in amusement. Rachel's breath came back as she saw the other girl was warming to her, and she smiled brightly in return. The other girl turned her head to the empty swing beside her and nodded her head, indicating Rachel to take a place beside her, which the brunette more than eagerly, ran to take._

_"I'm Lucy." The other girl spoke, as Rachel bit her lip in excitement at the potential of a new friend._

_"Hi"_

_"-Hi"_

_The two girls giggled as they began to swing slowly in harmony._

_"How come I've never seen you before?" Rachel asked in confusion._

_"I'm here visiting my grandma and my best friend." Rachel couldn't explain the sharp stabbing in her stomach up on hearing the other girl already had a best friend. 'Of course, I mean, you did only just met her...' she berated. '-but still...' she sighed mentally._

_"Do I know them?" Rachel found her curiosity making itself known once again, as she stopped swinging and looked to the snow covered ground. -To which the other girl stopped swinging and turned to her, before answering simply "Noah Puckerman. He lives across from my Grandma"._

_"Oh..." Rachel's gaze returned to the floor. Noah was in her class at school. He was the class clown; too naughty to be friends with someone like Rachel, so how was he best friends with someone like Lucy? She was good just like her. The unfamiliar pain in her stomach started again, and Rachel couldn't help shaking the feeling she had lost something. Something she had never even had._

_The two girls carried on swinging in an unbroken silence, before Lucy's Grandma took her home. And as Rachel watched her walk away hand in hand with her Grandma into the distance, she found herself praying that the girl in the red beret would turn back just once, and glance her way. Let her know that this moment meant the start of something to her too. -She never did._

* * *

><p><em>December (Senior Year)<em>

Rachel could feel those eyes burning holes into her back. She knew those eyes were hazel, and she knew they contained gold flecks among them. It had taken every fiber of her being not to turn around and gaze into them. She had to fight this feeling, she had too; she couldn't allow herself to fall into that lonely black pit of unrequited feelings that called her name. She couldn't allow herself to break.

As Quinn chewed her pencil in frustration, she turned her gaze away from the Brunette who was ignoring her existence lately, and back outside to the window where the snow fell freely. Her insistent chewing stopped almost instantly, she could never explain it, certainly not understand it... but winter, and in particular the cold weather and snow it brought with it, had always been a comfort to her. For as long as she could remember, no matter what the pain or loneliness she felt, the snow had always had this hypnotic grasp on her... it made her feel like after years trapped in this cage of social pariahs, she was finally coming home. It never took long for her to gaze off into a daydream, but when the snow fell, it would happen quicker than the blink of an eye.

Rachel found this particular History class, remarkably boring. They were currently stuck with a substitute and the poor man had made the mistake of teaching the module meant for his next class of juniors. So naturally as soon as the title, 'the Black Plague & The Great Fire of London' was scripted onto the blackboard, Rachel raised her hand to correct the clear mistake. This however lasted about two seconds before she felt a sharp kick in the back of her chair. She turned around to see Kurt looking at her sympathetically with a disproving shake of his head, as he then pointed back to Santana who had a look of hell fire burning in her eyes.

The Latina moved slightly forward before harshly whispering, "Thanks to dumbo up there, I actually know what's going on already, I may actually get through this class without having to listen... do not, ruin this for me Berry!" The glare that followed concluded the threat as Rachel gulped back a cry for help. She attempted to subtly turn her attention back to the front but made the mistake of taking her time, and as a result landing in Quinn's focus capturing presence along the way. 'Oh Minneli help me, not again!'

Rachel had succumbed to this situation far to often over the last few weeks. She called it, 'Quinn's Annoying Focus Stealer', or Q.A.F.S for short. Both the effect, and result, was always the same. Her gaze happened upon the hypnotic beauty of the Blonde. Then with her ice queen abilities, she froze Rachel to the spot, capturing all her attention and focus in her cruel grasp, torturing her, into looking upon the one thing a tantrum and a pout would never win her. -Over the last few weeks she had also invented a wonderful prevention of this unfair situation. A prevention that could simply be described as, 'avoiding Lucy Quinn Fabray at no matter what cost' -Unfortunately in moments like these Quinn would catch her off guard and trap Rachel under her spell.

The Blonde stared poetically, 'surprise surprise, stunning as usual' Rachel cursed, out the window to the snowy scene occurring beyond the glass. Her pencil was poised on her bottom lip, an area the Brunette didn't need any help focusing on, as the girl's beautiful Blonde locks framed her perfect features, and the red beret she wore allowed her true beauty to shine through the icy demeanor. The entirety of the situation Rachel was in slapped her in the face harder than any thing she had ever felt before. She only had one lesson left of the day, and she would be free. Free to run home, free to hide from her feelings. Then she only had tomorrow to face before Christmas Break, she just had to make it to the end of tomorrow. That gave her a solid three weeks to get herself out of this situation she had the misfortune of currently residing in.

The sharp sound of the bell ringing snapped Quinn from her thoughts amongst the possibilities of the snow outside. The lesson had given her the time she needed to decide her next move; she was going to confront Rachel about how distant she was being. If there was one thing Rachel couldn't resist it was drama, and if physically shaking the girl beneath bright lights were the only way to get her to talk to her then she would do it. -Anything to make sure they didn't go on Christmas Break with this distance between them. Rachel was the one who dragged Quinn back to earth, gave her stability in this sham of a life she is living, she couldn't afford to lose her one last shred of sanity in her life.

Rachel slowly emerged from the bathroom, carefully checking the corridor, before continuing to her locker. She had survived the last few weeks by hiding in the bathroom after school, this way everyone went home and she wouldn't have to worry about running into a particular Blonde who haunted her thoughts. Her path was clear as she frantically paced to her locker and began to toss her items into her bag, determined to make a quick get away, just in case there any chance that-

"What's the rush Rachel?" The voice startled the Brunette as her bag and her books fell straight to the floor. She didn't need to look away from her locker to know that a red beret-wearing Blonde was stood before her awaiting an overdue explanation. "Well?"

"Quinn, I have no idea what you're trying to imply, but I really do need to be going now" she glanced over her shoulder to see the Blonde standing parallel to her, leaning against the opposite lockers, arms folded and eyebrow menacing.

"You really expect me to buy that crap Rachel?" The Blonde waited for a reply but instead the Brunette dropped to her knees and began to gather her things together. She could here the Blonde's footsteps drawing near as Quinn continued to wander on unstable territory.

"Rachel, I'm not here to fight, I just want to know what's going on with you." Her voice softened, "I just want to know what's hurting the person who was there to help me when I hurt most. -An image of a tanned young man's smile flashed through Quinn's mind but she shook the thought away. Yes she was still 'technically' hurting, but Rachel didn't need to know that.

"Quinn," Rachel halted and drew a deep breath; she couldn't stand how the air was filling up around her. She couldn't stand this nausea settling in her stomach, "Quinn, I mean it, stay out of this, you wouldn't want to know... believe me". -But the footsteps sounded even closer.

"Rachel, I don't care what it is -I can handle it, just tell me what's wrong with you."

The Brunette felt her throat closing as her heartbeat thudded faster and anxiety was setting in.

"I'm asking you nicely, please...stay out of it" Rachel spoke statically, trying to hold back the emotion in her voice.

"Rachel I really think that-"

"Quinn!" Rachel picked up her bag and stood up sharply, "I'm 'asking' you to please, stay out of this. The walls felt even narrower, and the two girls where now stood just inches apart, Rachel's panic transforming into frustration. But the Blonde was relentless to pursue despite Rachel's pleading eyes, begging her to run before the bomb exploded.

"Why are you avoiding me? Don't think I haven't noticed." -'God those eyes', Rachel cursed, 'she could break me with her eyes alone, they make me just want to...no...What am I doing, get out of this I don't care how!' Quinn swore she saw something spark in Rachel's eyes in that moment. Despite how cold the girl had been to her, she could of sworn it was rising heat, passion, fury? 'Lust? No, that's ridiculous' she berated. But she should of known to back off then because as Rachel found her eyes swarming into a fiery black, and her heart racing as she begged herself not to close the distance between them, she knew she had to get out of this. She had to get out of this situation no matter at what cost.

"Maybe because I'm sick of you Quinn! -Did you ever consider that?" Rachel step forward intimidatingly as Quinn retreated equally as much.

"Did you ever consider how maybe I pitied you, being so sad and alone, so I helped you Quinn. And yet I still see you longingly looking to the doors at the end of this very corridor for your knight in shining armor to return." She took another bold step as the venom flew through her words.

"But guess what, I don't remember any fairytale about the depressed ex-cheerleader who got knocked up, and figured dying her hair Blonde was the key to life's deep problems."

Yet another step, "I don't remember it, do you Quinn?"

Another step, another back step for the now tear brimming Blonde, "No... I didn't think so. Wake up Quinn! -This isn't a fairytale; he's not coming back! You need to get over it, and yourself! Some people in this world, I don't know, say those who aren't shallow and quite so narcissistic -they might actually have real problems. Real issues with love, not some petty dried up beauty queen's boo boo, as she cries over a delinquent even though, heaven knows she could have her pick of the entire school!" Quinn's back thumped into the locker, and as the metal clanged, her walls shattered. The frozen tears she saved for the cover of nightfall pierced her cheeks as she fought to stare back into those angry tearing brown orbs in front of her.

Rachel had gone to far, she knew the second she heard Quinn's back hit the lockers. It was a bullet of truth fired in the air, what had she done? She was supposed to get her to back off so she could carry on their friendship, not tell the current passion of her dreams with a tenancy for mental instability that she was pretty much an awful existence on the earth. Her eyes began to flood as she saw Quinn's frightened expression crack as her lips parted so she could speak. Quinn's trembling eyes locked with Rachel's as she spoke the words that summed up everything she thought of what Rachel had just said into three syllables...

"I'm so sorry".

And with that, Quinn's power over Rachel as her timekeeper fell back into place. She screamed at her legs to run after her, but instead watched frozen in horror, as the crumbling angel she treasured ran through those doors and into the cold winters air. -A fallen angel, in a red beret.

* * *

><p>"Dwarf slow down! Right, now what exactly do you mean you upset Quinn?" -If there was one person Rachel could fear more than anyone then that person was Santana Lopez. However if there was one person who gets through to Quinn Fabray it would also be her friend Santana Lopez. The Latina held a strong dependability when those she loved where in need, she would go to her grave arguing that it was her biggest weakness; but those she loved would argue that it was her greatest strength. -And right now Rachel knew Quinn needed that strength.<p>

"The argument got bad, it got so bad Santana, and she wasn't even taking part in it. -It was all me, and I couldn't stop myself I jus-"

"-Where is she now". With that one interruption Rachel knew she had called the right person. Quinn had left her in the halls of McKinley over an hour ago now, Rachel had tried her house, her mobile, email...she'd even gone as far as ringing the police before they rudely dismissed her as they had no time for 'school girl drama'.

"I don't know I've tried everywhere, I've been driving for the last hour, I don't know what to do!"

"Berry!" Rachel snapped out of her panic as she focused her breathing and closed her teary eyes tightly, "Berry, calm down. Calm down and go home. -I've got this."

"But Santana I did this, I can help I-"

"Berry!"

"Sorry..."

"You will be, but right now I need to find my friend. So go home, trust me okay? -I got this"

Just like that Santana had hung up. Rachel knew she had done the right thing, she knew she had done all she could for now, but that didn't even remotely help her guilt. Now it was 11.00pm and she lay in bed staring at her alarm clock. 'No word from Santana, and no word from Quinn. What if she...no. Santana knew what she was doing. She sounded certain, stop panicking; you've done enough damage already! If I'd of just kept my mouth shut. The only reason I yelled was so I wouldn't lean forward an inch or two and, oh I didn't know. -Maybe I should have just done what I was thinking and dealt with the consequences, it would of been so much better than this. What is wrong with me? What kind of monster says those things, lies so horribly just because they're scared of how they feel?' -There was no denying Rachel's guilt. The last few hours had seemed an eternity, almost as if when Quinn ran and stole time with her again, she never gave it back in all the confusion. -So now Rachel was stuck in a cruel, slow reality of anticipation.

She glanced at the clock once more, 11.02pm. 'Really?' It was only seconds later that she grabbed her shoes and a pack of tissues to dry her eyes as she crept out the house.

* * *

><p>She didn't know where she was going; at this point she didn't care, not even with the cold snow freezing her senses and the icy air burning her lungs. Just as long as she wasn't stuck waiting in silence anymore. She had to know if Quinn had been found at least. The state she last saw her in, wasn't one she would like to gamble on. With all this plaguing her thoughts she shouldn't have been surprised when her aching feet finally stopped at the foot of the Lopez driveway. She needed to know, she didn't care what Santana was going to do to her, and she just needed to know Quinn was okay.<p>

But as she began to walk to the door she froze in her tracks. The hairs on the back of her neck pricked and that horrific nausea returned to her stomach once more. Before she turned to look at the living room window she already knew what she would see. She already knew how much it would hurt. -But she hadn't banked on how much she would envy Santana in that moment.

Sitting on a couch in the living room, with a blanket thrown across her shoulders as she buried her head into Santana as her fingertips clung to her friend's waist; was Quinn. The window was so frosted Rachel couldn't see much, but from what she could make out they were both asleep, and Quinn's eyes were sullen and worn from their tears and pain. She looked so fragile, so empty...so broken. She hadn't been this way since Noah had left, and it broke Rachel to see her then, so scared and alone, but it shattered her now to know just as she was beginning to heal, she had been hurtled to the ground again, only this time, by Rachel's hand.

The sight was too much, as Rachel began to feel her eyes welling tears once more she retreated slowly before bumping into Santana's car and the alarm starting wailing noisily. Rachel's eyes flew open as realization that she could be caught flew in and she began to run. She ran off the street, past the school, past the park and then some more, it was only as she turned a corner and tripped over the curb landing harshly onto the cold pavement that she realized she was in the clear.

Her ankle was swelling with pain from the fall and she tried valiantly to pull herself up, regaining some dignity as she attempted, but as the pain shot through the body she crumpled back into a mess on the snowy floor. This time the hope for dignity was a fantasy, as she felt warm hit her cheeks as her tears streamed down her face. Quinn was safe, she should be happy; someone was there for her. But despite this, she still felt as though she couldn't see how things could get any worse.

-"Rachel?"

The shivering girl sunk her head to the floor, 'couldn't get any worse...just had to think it didn't I?'

But the familiar voice was persistent, "Rachel, what are you doing here, and at this time?" She finally held back a sob as she lifted her heavy head to see the new presence behind her.

"Sam?" -Sure enough the Blonde heartthrob stood tall looking over her with a confused expression that reflected a child trying to understand why the can't get through to the patio having not yet conquered the barrier of a glass door. All the same as Rachel simply blinked in response, unable to conjure even a single word to explain, not without revealing the desperate mess she was truly in, something she was in no mind to do anytime soon.

"You must be freezing..." the boy's eyes seemed to investigate her crumpled body, before seeing her hands clutching the wounded ankle. Quickly he knelt down in the snow and removed his thick winters jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders securely. Rachel's gaze was unchanging as she tried to piece the moment together, but Sam seemed to be less concerned about the surrealism of the situation, and more so about his friend freezing in her pajamas, injured in the snow.

"Can you walk on it?" Rachel still maintained her unblinking, watery gaze of wonder, but was now responsive enough to shake her head slowly in disappointment at her pitiful self. She looked back down to the ground with only one thing running through her head, or rather someone...'Quinn' But her sorrow was short lived as two muscular arms wrapped themselves around her and lifted her gently as Sam carried her back to his truck on the other side of the road.

As he fastened her seatbelt and carefully closed the door, Rachel stared out the frosted window in despair as the footsteps walked around the truck and Sam climbed into the driver's side and buckled himself in. He placed the keys in the ignition and gripped the steering wheel with two firm hands before sighing and turning to look at his lonely friend.

"Do you need to talk about it?" But his voice was not reciprocated, and his questioned answered as Rachel continued to stare longingly out the window.

As the car pulled up outside her house, Rachel finally acknowledge the real world she was in and turned to look at Sam. "Thank you, I really appreciate this Sam" she whispered barely above a breath in her coarse voice from crying. The boy smiled sympathetically and nodded in understanding as Rachel removed Sam's coat and handed it back to him before climbing out of the truck and limping slowly back to her front door.

"Rachel, wait!" just as she reached her front porch his voice called out to her. She inhaled deeply before turning back around to see Sam jogging towards her. She opened her mouth to ask what he needed but Sam shook his head silence with his famous kind smile to silence her. He took a few steps towards her and raised his hands and placed them on her shoulders carefully. His soft blue eyes glistened into hers as his gentle voice broke the tension.

"What's worse than having unwanted feelings: is running from them." Rachel opened her mouth to question him but all that came out was an entangled mess of stuttering. Sam shook his head and chuckled lightly before squeezing her shoulders to help communicate his words to the Brunette.

"When you run from things, they haunt you Rachel. If you admit and face them to yourself, then the worst the can do is hurt you, but wounds heal Rachel." The boy paused as his mind flashed to the girl he had run from over summer, and how now she would barely give him the time of day. He unconsciously bit his lower lip as he looked away but Rachel's hand on his arm reconnected him.

"Mercedes?" she spoke in understanding.

"She'll come around. I may have run, but I came back to face my feelings. I just don't want to see you go through the same pain I put her through when I left. The same pain I felt when I came back and she had moved on. Don't let you fear of your feelings scare you away Rachel, believe me."

The two share a moment of silence as Rachel took in Sam's wisdom and registered its importance. Sam decided to leave the girl with her thought, at least until she admitted reality to herself. But as he began to walk down the steps a hand on his wrist stopped him and as he turned around to address Rachel but the small girl throwing herself into his chest and wrapping her arms tightly around him in an embrace that caught him off guard. He smiled knowing the gesture probably signified more to Rachel's problem than he would ever be able to comprehend, but he placed this to the back of his mind as he returned the embrace. The two stood hugging each other for comfort in the snowfall, grateful for each others understanding as Rachel said the only two syllables that entered her mind at the time...

"Thank you"

* * *

><p><em>The Next Day...<em>

Today she walked the halls with feeling all around her, a plan set in motion. She would finally confess her feelings, well 'in a way that allows me a free conscience without Quinn actually finding out and humiliating me to the entire school. -That way, 'technically' no one can tell me I didn't tell her.' Rachel's plan was determined; as she walked down the corridor clinging her books to her chest she halted as a group of football players parted revealing a slushie soaked Sam.

"Have fun dancing, sorry...swimming!" she heard Azimo yell as Sam blinked in disbelief tasting the icy cherry soaking his face with his tongue. She was about to run to his aide when she saw Kurt grab his arm and lead him towards her, ranting about 'cowardice brutes' as he went. Sam noticed Rachel's presence and took a moment to smile softly to her. Then noticing her raising her eyebrows in pity, he simply laughed and shrugged his shoulders before shaking his head, covering some passing cheerleaders in slushie. As the screams cried out, Rachel raised her hand to her mouth to hide her amusement, while Sam looked back to her and grinned proudly before Kurt grabbed him and pulled him into the men's bathroom to clean up.

'I need some of that attitude,' the brunette concluded before continuing to her locker, grateful for her newly established friendship with Sam. Seeing him today only boosted her motivation for her three-part plan on the last day before Christmas break.

'-Step One, find Quinn, apologize...furiously, (dramatically and on my knees like Romeo to his Juliet and -wait no...'Nonreciprocating love', remember Rachel?) Anyway, and beg for us to continue our blossoming friendship.

-Step Two, face the wrath of Santana. No matter how fierce, scary and terrifying, I deserve it. Every last cruel torment. -Maybe I'll hide behind Britney as she does it though...

-Step Three, well, I don't need reminding of that one, I was preparing until early morning for step three.'

Her plan was precise, well thought, and flawless in her mind. But as she opened her locker and a note fell to the floor, the entire plan was put on hold as curiosity interfered. She knelt down and picked up the neatly folded document and delicately unfolded the paper to reveal its precious contents.

_Rachel,_

_Like a moth to a flame we hear the story of passion and lust, and how the flame burns brighter from the experience. -But what about the other side to the story? -The tale of consequences for those who get scorned for their feelings? When I look at you Rachel, I see a shard of a dying star in your eyes, and just like that I realize...you're the moth._

_When you said what you said yesterday, I didn't feel the way I should have. I wasn't angry, I wasn't confused, I just hurt. I hurt knowing you saw right through me yet again. Then again, you always do. I guess that's what caused the second hurt, the hurt of seeing the look in your eye; the dying flame that still burned brighter than any of your words. You're hurting, you're longing. I'm sort of an unwanted expert of the look. The look of a scorned moth in loves fire._

_-And while I accept this is incredibly cliché coming from me, I need you to understand, that while at the moment you are a burning victim of loves fire, 'you are also beautiful, but you're so much more than that'_

As the tears brimmed her eyes Rachel's fingers clung to the paper as teardrops began to soak its frighteningly knowing words. Her heart raced as yet again the object of her affection made it herself that much more perfect unknowingly, and with it, that much harder to get over. Her thoughts clung to the words that showed through all the transparency the school hierarchy placed her in, Quinn saw her yet again. Only this time it wasn't unknowingly through words in red paint on a billboard, acting as her masked saving grace. This time, it was through words Quinn had intended for Rachel, and in doing so, Rachel's heart leaped and hurt so much more.

'She sees me? She actually sees me, and cares? Why does she have to do that, why does she have to be so breathtakingly beautiful, smart, loving, tender and now she even writes beautiful love letters! -Okay so it isn't technically a love letter, but she took my words to make her point at the end. -THAT'S FREAKING ROMANTIC!'

As she freely let the tears fall down her face, she clutched the letter to her chest as she closed her eyes tightly in disbelief.

-Sure she initially saw it as a love letter, and then realized her delusion yet again with Sam's wise voice echoing through her mind to face reality head on. But now she saw it as something else completely. Rachel saw the letter in her hands as not a love letter, no...She saw it as everything.

The small brunette inhaled a deep breath of the beginning of what could be the beginning of a dangerous sense of hope, and the voice of reason in her head screamed this. But her heart would be allowed to overpower it for now. As she opened her eyes her mind cleared completely, and with it, the blurred crowd of students ahead to reveal Quinn standing at the end of the hallway, beside Santana and Tina chatting idly away, unaware of the bright hazel eyes deeply connected to her brown ones. Rachel almost had to pinch herself to remind her that she had opened her eyes and this wasn't the image she had played over in her head every night since that day at the piano with Quinn. There she was, long Blonde hair curled elegantly, white dress beaming her beauty and innocence, with a white knitted cardigan over her shoulders. But this time Rachel was 'actually' there, and she didn't forget to imprint to her memory the moment Quinn smiled softly before biting her lower lip to break the heart flowing tension and turning to exit with the other two girls. No, that was a moment Rachel could never forget.

* * *

><p>As the final bell rang, students erupted through McKinley's halls, delighted to start partying through the holiday as soon as possible. But one group of students gather in their favorite choir room one last time before they parted ways, as their favorite teacher and mentor wished them all the best for the holidays.<p>

Rachel had longed to sit beside Quinn, there had even been an available seat, but she had yet to face Santana's scorn for hurting her friend -something she couldn't help but know Quinn was behind, and even so she didn't want to risk upsetting the last meeting before Christmas. So instead she had sat at the front, on the opposite side of the room beside Artie and Tina.

"Guys, I think we all know that it wouldn't be a Christmas Glee meeting without a Christmas performance! But first I believe Rachel prepared something to share with us all first." Mr. Schuester announced as he took a seat beside Britney as Rachel rose steadily to the front and gave Brad her sheet music.

"I knew she still cared about me!" Finn grinned triumphantly but Sam leaned forward and patted his back as he whispered in the boy dreamer's ear.

"Not to sure this one's about you Finn" Finn's face fell and he turned to look at Sam in confusion but Sam had already climbed out of his chair and walked to the floor his guitar at the ready to aid Rachel as he smiled and nodded to her. -Quinn couldn't help but notice the small exchange and couldn't erase the new thought racing through her mind. 'If it's not Finn, who the hell hurt you Rachel?'

-'C'mon, Quinn gave you a pass for step one and two, but this one is on you...make it count...' The diva inhaled and exhaled slowly before nodding to Brad as the piano and Sam's accompanying guitar began a soft slow melody.

"When words can't express it, I like to say things through song; and today Sam wants to say this one to someone as well." She turned to the boy who winked at her before looking back down to his strings as the melody flowed, and the eyes of the room awaited in wonder. She closed her eyes, and just like that...Rachel opened her heart.

_"If roses are meant to be red_

_And violets to be blue_

_Why isn't my heart meant for you"_

Quinn leaned forward on her chair, as the room fell silent, haunted by the beautiful melody beneath the dimly lit floor, and the shining Christmas tree. Everyone was falling under the spell, Mercedes feeling unable to look away from the boy who hurt her, and Quinn unable to explain how she felt in this moment.

_"My hands are longing to touch you_

_But I can barely breathe_

_Starry eyes that make me melt_

_Right in front of me"_

Quinn felt her mind blur out everyone else, everything but the familiar feel of warm and safety, followed by a feeling a cold breeze on a snowy day. As Rachel transported her through her voice and closed eyes, to her safe place as the chorus kicked in.

_"Lost in this world_

_I even get lost in this song_

_And when the lights go down_

_That is where I'll be found"_

It was as if the Blonde could see the snowflakes falling, and in her head she honestly swore she could. She saw the snowflakes, and she saw a glimmer of Puck smiling devilishly as he spread his arms out for her to embrace. But as Mike stood from beside her and took to the stage, turning to reach his hand out to her for a dance as Blaine reciprocated the gesture with Tina at the other side of the room, Puck vanished and she saw nothing but snowflakes and her own hand accepting Mike's with a smile as they took to the floor as Rachel's sonnet continued through her closed eyes.

_"This music's irresistible_

_Your voice makes my skin crawl_

_Innocent and pure_

_I guess you heard it all before_

_Mister Inaccessible_

_Will this ever change_

_One thing that remains the same_

_You're still a picture in a frame_

_Lost in this world_

_I even get lost in this song_

_And when the lights go down_

_That is where I'll be found"_

As The two pairs waltzed Rachel's eyes finally opened revealing her tears of truth and longing as she glance to her side where Quinn was elegantly dipped before being span back into a sway with Mike. Unable to look away from her beauty, Rachel found herself berating herself for her words the other day, 'Not a fairytale? She sure looks like a fairytale princess right now'. But the question was over shone as she stared longingly at Quinn, and found herself seeing nothing but Quinn dancing and herself as her musical muse on stage, a perfect world.

_"I get lost in this world_

_I get lost in your eyes_

_And when the lights go down_

_That's where I'll be found_

_Yeah yeah"_

As the songs instrumental swung into gear, so did the focus on the dancers, Blaine and Tina flowed around the room with rise and fall, gliding past the Christmas tree, as Mike lifted Quinn high above his head as she struck a ballerina type of poise and reached like an angel through the sky. In that moment, Quinn felt time stop. As if Rachel's song had the power of freezing time to capture the beautiful moment. As Mike lowered her and she reached the ground, she swore that for a moment, it was Puck, gliding her across the room. Dancing to the sound of Rachel's song for them.

But as the music climaxed, and nothing but Sam's guitar was left playing as Mike slowed the dance into a gentle movement of harmony and sensitivity, Quinn saw the scene in her mind change as she was faced with another fairytale sequence. She looked over Mike's shoulder, and found herself staring into Rachel's emotive eyes, seeming to be screaming to tell her something. She saw nothing but Rachel and the snowflakes falling around them as everything faded away, as they connected and Rachel parted her lips for one last desperate cry though her beautiful song.

_"Lost in this world_

_I get lost in your eyes_

_And when the lights go down_

_Am I the only one_

_Ooh"_

The Music joined the diva for the final note of the song as she closed her eyes, imprinting Quinn's previous gaze on her heart, finally accepting the truth. -No she would never have her, not when her heart belonged to someone else; but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

For Quinn the last note and music the blasted with it, awoke her from her winters slumber as suddenly, she was back in Mike's arms, Rachel stood before her singing out her breaking heart, and her friends all watched in awe, teary eyed as they swayed to the song's finale. And as the song ended, as she parted from Mike, smiling sweetly to him before accepting the hugs from her friends as they all congratulated the performance, she couldn't shake the lingering ghost in her mind, wondering what happened back there between Rachel and her. -And what the hell did it all mean?

* * *

><p>As the snow fell through the streets of Lima, Ohio that evening; children excitedly stared through their windows as parents lit the fire and poured hot chocolate. Couples sat and watched the seasonal films the local network had to offer, while families received calls from their estranged loved ones confessing their sorrows, and promising to come back for Christmas.<p>

But as Judy Fabray entered the living room to see her estranged daughter perched on the windowsill as she watched the snowfall, the older woman recalled how the weather had always seemed to have this effect on her daughter, ever since she was young. Quinn tore herself from the window as she felt her mother wrap a blanket around her shoulders before passing her a hot chocolate and then taking a place on the opposite side of the windowsill. The mother and daughter sat, toes touching, blankets wrapped, as they sipped from their mugs and got lost in the snowfall. Appreciating the stories the white blanket hid beneath it every time it fell.

Stories untold, beginnings witnessed, middles watched, but true endings never seen as the cold weather hid them in its protective winters grasp. Quinn didn't know it but the snow had hid things from her that day. -After the confusion and strange unsettling warmth she felt in the choir room that day and the incident of the day before, she had longed to retreat to her beloved billboard to gain some much needed perspective in her life. But she had longed in vein, as the snow and ice covered the roads, making her access somewhat limited. Hey simple car would never be able to handle the roads in that state.

-However across town, Rachel knew that given the right type of car, that wouldn't be an issue. A pick-up Truck in particular that she knew, would find it a worthy task. And as she and Sam drove away from the Billboard, and back into Lima she looked out into the snowfall, content with the ending she had given her story today. For what Quinn didn't know, was that her savior had left her a message that day, confessing her all to her angel. Admitting her pain, so that whether Quinn realized it or not, Rachel knew she had told the Blonde the truth. For painted on the back of the billboard, freezing over with the infamous white blanket, was the latest message:

"_To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves..._" -Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding and Yerma

But what the diva had failed to see through the cold blanket of winter was the beginning to her current tale with Quinn. The beginning that initiated the nonreciprocating set of feelings between the two that Rachel had finally come to terms with after a decade of fighting it.

* * *

><p><em>December (2nd Grade)<em>

_As the Brunette watched as Lucy walked away, hand in hand with her Grandma, she longed for her to turn back, just once. She was young and naive in the world, but the young star new something inside her longed for this motion for the angel she had just encountered. -But she never did. So Rachel turned and returned to the swing set, where she sat in a new found, unwanted sense of loneliness._

_As Lucy Quinn Fabray left with her Grandmother, she found herself overwhelmed at the possibility of another friend for her and Noah to have here._

_"Lucy? Was that a friend you were playing with back there" The young girl awoke from her thoughts as she stopped walking and looked at her Grandmother with raised eyebrows and an open mouth._

_"No!" She stated in a clearly appalled tone, her Grandmother was about to ask but then her granddaughter continued, "Rachel isn't my friend, she's so much more than that"._

_Her Grandmother smiled down at the young girl, "Well, I hope you let her know that someday Lucy"._

_The young girl smiled and as her grandmother began to continue down the path, Lucy paused as she felt something pulling her to turn around. Still holding her grandmothers hand, she slowly looked over her shoulder to see Rachel sat on the swings with her head down, and an unknown feeling settled in the young girls stomach as she stared. The young girl smiled brightly as she thought to herself as she turned her head to face forward again, 'Rachel already knows'._

* * *

><p><strong>Okay that wait was long...I know...sorry? So much on right now with productions I'm in, short films I'm shooting, a social life I'm thriving in and Uni to top it all off! BUUUUTTTTT I did an extra long and yummy installment to make amends to you guys. <strong>

**Now has anyone else noticed we're half a school year closer to whatever was happening in the prologue? -It's getting tense guys! Leave your comments and thought and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! -Not that it will make me write the next chapter any quicker...okay so it 'totes' will! But ssh!**

**Songs used- Lost, by 'Anouk'**


	7. Born To Die

_**Chapter Six- Born To Die**_

_Christmas Eve (Senior Year)_

"Quinnie, when your mother asks if her cleavage shows through her dress, it's in your own best interest to answer her!"

-'Okay, so it's not that I hate this holiday, its more like I have a large distaste for it in the back of my throat.'

"QUINNIE! Will you listen to your mother?"

-'I mean Christmas is about families. My family consists of just two people considering the other two left when they got sick of us. So now I haven't exactly got a family, just me and my mother, who, oh good lord why are her breasts in my face? Nope, I lied...I hate this holiday!'

"Mother!" Quinn snapped from the edge of her bed as she closed her eyes and wafted her hands frantically to 'slap' away her mother's very revealed appendages.

"Well honestly there's no need to be so dramatic Quinnie, I was just asking if I should change into something more...homely" Judy rolled her eyes as her daughter made gagging sounds from behind her.

The two Fabray women were preparing themselves for the Christmas Party Judy had insisted on throwing in true Fabray style. In other words, they started to get ready hours before the event to ensure they both looked flawless by the time the doorbell rang and the first guest arrived. However it seemed this year, losing her husband to another woman had left Judy Fabray to resulting to extremes, and those extremes came in the form of a far too tightly fitting and far too 'revealing' deep red dress. Quinn on the other hand had picked out an outfit last week in preparation for tonight. She may have also lost her man, but she planned on helping her possibly deranged mother by leading by example, the fine example of a young debutant Fabray woman.

"Look Quinnie," Judy turned back to address her daughter in a more sincere tone as the two sets of hazel in the room met for a moment of reasoning.

"I know this year you don't feel very festive, and don't think I haven't noticed this has been going on since before the holidays...I just."

"Mom, please don't" Quinn looked away but Judy reached out to bring her daughters eyes back to hers.

"Quinn, the last few years haven't been easy, I lost your father and you lost Noah. If anything we should be on a page of understanding with one another right now. I just want you to have one thing go right this year, this party is all for you Quinn."

Judy had always had a way of reaching out when it was least expected. She wasn't a perfect mother by any means; she drank far too much and treated Quinn like a younger sister rather than a daughter... but the fact was, Quinn had appreciated her more than anything these past few months. And if throwing a Christmas party for all of the Glee Club and their parents was Judy's way of showing Quinn she cared, it was certainly a superficial 'socialites' way of doing so, but it didn't mean Quinn appreciated it any less.

As two arms suddenly found themselves entombing her, Judy smiled as she felt her daughter hugging her in response to her speech.

"Thank you, and you're wrong...we didn't lose Dad." Judy pulled away to look to her daughter as Quinn pressed on, "We didn't lose him, he left, and I'm glad he did. -As in doing so I gained back you".

The taller Blonde felt her eyes tear up as she swiftly embraced her daughter into a fierce hug.

"Quinnie, what have I said about ruining my make-up" Judy chuckled softly.

Quinn settled her cheek to her mothers shoulder as she mumbled softly, "You still look beautiful mom".

Judy lifted her hand to begin to stroke her daughters hair as she replied, "Well, you know the looks run through the family" before pulling away to stroke daughters cheek once more smiling warmly before leaving the room to change yet again.

* * *

><p>"Nope it's not right, the door is too tall. The door is too tall, the porch is to small, my hair is wrong and my dress looks ridiculous"<p>

-If there was one thing Rachel Berry did in style, it was panic. Well, panic and storm out, but lucky for her, most of her panics were caused by humiliation, which inevitably leads to an opportunity for 'said' storm outs to occur.

"Rachel, honey you're sounding like an escaped loony house patient" Hiram stated placing a reassuring hand on his daughters shoulder.

"She's sounding more like an escaped inhabitant of mars if you ask me", Leroy had never been one for subtly.

-It wasn't that Rachel was scared of entering the party, it's that she was terrified of who was inside...

"Oh I wonder where she gets THAT from?"

"Says Mr. 'Lets buy our baby a cheeseburger' for her fantastic sectionals performance!"

"I forgot once! Once Leroy, and when will you let that go? Do I even have to bother recalling the 'non-vegan cheese occurrence of 98', or did that slip your mind?"

-Rachel found her head exploding with a concoction of nausea, anticipation, and irritation for her father's. -A concoction that only ever lead to one outcome...word vomit.

"Oh you did not just bring that up!"

"Really because I think I just DID!"

-"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"

"Happy Christmas!" A smiling Finn Hudson and Judy Fabray opened the door excitedly to reveal a trio of Berry's in a deafening state of tension. But this discomforted neither of them, but rather relieved them to see that the family had already managed to climax their dramatic potential before entering the party. Judy shared a knowing nod of agreement with Finn before reaching out and plucking the men from either side of Rachel, and ushering them inside, safely to where the music and more importantly the alcohol was. -Which of course led to this moment of awkwardness for Rachel and Finn. With neither sure of how to approach the situation they stood gaping for a few moments until...

"RACHEL!" a wobbling, and quite clearly drunk Kurt appeared in the doorway, pushing Finn aside to throw his arms around the brunette. Stumbling backwards, and then swatting his brother's arms away after Finn reached out to catch him; Kurt joined the silence. He looked to Rachel, and then looked to Finn. He then repeated the action comically for a few more times before throwing his arms in the air and shouting,

"HELLO AWKWARD!" before walking back inside and disappearing. Rachel bit her lower lip, forcing herself to hide back a laugh, looking to Finn who surprisingly didn't seem to feel the need as he doubled over laughing. The two broke the tension that surrounded them as they chuckled and Finn finally gained composure.

"Rachel, I know we dated, but we were also friends once... I'd kind of like it if we could be again", Finn stared genuinely and held out his hand to lead her inside. Rachel stared at the familiar palm before smiling widely and filling it with her own as Finn led her inside gentlemanly.

"I'd really like that too Finn," she buried her head into his shoulder as he walked her through the house and out to the garden where the Christmas party had began. And by the looks of it, it had began in style.

It seemed Judy Fabray had spared no expense on her Christmas for Quinn, as the entire garden had been transformed into a scene from a luxurious Orange County celebration, hardly recognizable as a party in a garden of Lima, Ohio. Golden lights were hung around the surrounding hedges and fences, with a white Gazebo filling the center space full of familiar faces laughing and drinking in all of the festivities.

"Stay here, I'll get you a drink...virgin Cosmo okay?" Finn broke Rachel from her enchantment as she tore her eyes from their fix and looked up to the boy awaiting a response.

"Rachel? -I could always ask Kurt to make it a regular Cosmo if you'd prefer?" She smirked at this statement and shook her head sighing,

"Virgin's fine Finn".

Feeling anxious and overwhelmed by the magic of the setting she found herself in, Rachel rubbed her arms up and down exhaling sharply as she took in everything around her. Outside the Gazebo her dad, Hiram, and Tina's parents seemed to be bellowing in laughter at something said by Britney. Britney however, seemed to fail to understand as she furrowed her brows in a confused daze before being saved and reassured by a loving kiss on the cheek from her protector Santana. Under the white tent however she could see an amusing scenario between Blaine and Kurt. Kurt seemed to be dancing fabulously to rave music blasting as everyone else surrounded him chuckling and shaking their heads in pity for the unaware fool. The amusement came from Kurt refusing to listen to a more sober Blaine explaining that he looked ridiculous due to the fact that he was 'raving' to a mixture of soft Jazz and Christmas songs.

As Finn arrived back with drinks, she smiled and feigned interest as he began to talk excitedly about some Chinese film he saw last week; 'Mei Si Men Chong', or something... she figured it was probably some anime or kung-fu movie. But as his voice faded into a mumbling she raised her drink to her lips and sipped the red mixture as her eyes wandered the scenery. Everything about the setting always drew her back to one particular part though. -The most beautiful aspect, those golden fairy lights that perfectly set the magical atmosphere. She began to trace their patterns, as they weaved through the hedge and onto the edge of the Gazebo's supports, before winding themselves over to the fence followed by wall of ivory where they shone at their brightest as they finally led her gaze to... 'to the only person who could match their magic with her beauty' she sighed. She was an image of everything Christmas and beauty could create, as she wore a flowing black dress with golden strays of fabric around the waistline that reflected the shine of her long loosely curled hair and the fairy lights dancing around her. The Blonde stood by the ivory, holding a champagne glass as she slowly reached her hand to delicately brush a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Rachel's eyes zeroed in on the action as she bit into the rim of the glass at her lips, caught in a momentary trance around her constant time keeper, as all she could think was that she was right with her initial instinct... 'the fairy lights truly did lead you to the only person that could match their magic with her beauty'.

"Exactly!" Finn's voice startled her as she released her glass from her mouth and looked back to the tall Quarterback who seemed thrilled she understood his point. -

"Erm..." she began, stalling and hoping he would continue and unconsciously explain whatever she had done to agree with what ever he had said...

"No what you just said Rachel, you summed it up perfectly!"

-'I did?'

"You always were better with words than me."

-'It's not a difficult task... wait, what words? Oh Holy Streisand what did I say now?'

"The fairy lights, truly did lead you to the only person who could match their magic with her beauty"

-'Oh Minnelli, Minnelli... Sophie's choice was less painful than this humiliation!'

"I wasn't aware you'd seen it though. Did you watch it on TV last Thursday as well?"

-'THE FILM!'

"Erm yes... the film Rachel. -Are you okay?"

'Oh crap did I say that part aloud too? Wow, I really do need to work on my filter, I thought Quinn was just insulting me when she said that Sophomore year, I didn't realize she was making a valid point. But of course she was... because she's smart, and beautiful, and Quinn'. It was time the Brunette actually began to pay attention.

"Yes erm, the film, sorry Finn I got confused for a second there. Of course I meant the film! Because, you know, the film part with magic, beauty and fairy lights... you know like I said." She mentally berated herself for sounding more imbecilic than Finn normally does. -She then mentally berated herself for insulting Finn again, he was a good guy, and he didn't deserve it. Anyway they were friends again now.

Finn narrowed his eyes, as his gaze seemed to double take her sanity as he continued on. "Yes Rachel, exactly..." Judging her sane he then returned his posture to normal and continued to chat away.

"The scene at the beginning, when he carries her beneath the lights, it does kind of reflect how the magic between them is as powerful as her beauty, you're completely right. I never normally care for romance films, especially when they involve reading subtitles, but I guess this opened my eyes, you'd be proud of me Rach!" He grinned wickedly as she returned the smirk and continued to drink her virgin Cosmo as he pressed on.

"Sorry, how did you say you'd seen it? I just never could get you interested in this stuff before." he fell silent, and Rachel instantly realized that being involved with the conversation meant actually responding to parts of it.

"Oh right yeah, erm Quinn mentioned It." -it was a half-truth.

"Yeah, I should of guessed, it's got her written all over it, all deep and meaningful and poetic in one film. Its kind of cool you two hang out now, I'm glad you're not fighting anymore." Finn smiled nervously and Rachel realized while her heart most definitely didn't lie there anymore, she understood how she once felt the world for this boy.

"Yeah, me too Finn, me too."

The brunette glanced back to the ivory wall and frowned realizing that the Blonde had moved from her previous position. She knew she was supposed to be moving on, but that didn't stop her thinking about her just as much.

-But it was thinking about Quinn Fabray so much that stopped Rachel from being aware of her surroundings, and with them, a very drunk Judy Fabray and Leroy Berry waltzing behind her. Drinks splashing around until Finn's voice crying out, 'Rach, watch out!' could be heard and she turned around and felt the full on collision with her fathers back as Judy's drink flew through the air, covering her golden dress in a horrific, fashion jeopardizing stain.

A gasp courtesy of every drunken member of the party could be heard as Rachel held back her own as she slowly opened her eyes to look down to the mess covering her. 'At least it wasn't a slushie' she figured, but mentally cursed that it wasn't at the same time. As if it was a slushie, then Rachel would have been in school. Rachel would have expected the attack, and she would therefore have a spare change of clothing in her locker at the ready. -But this wasn't McKinley High; this was Quinn's backyard. An event just as public, but with less escape options.

But as she felt soft fingers entwining with her own as her hand was gently pulled away, she realized that somebody was doing her escaping for her. As she turned she realized that those delicate fingers were in fact of a porcelain color. And they belonged to a gentle hand that was pulling her through the living room. Fingers that were now leading her up the stairs that her feet refused to question as they obediently followed. Fingers that were guiding her across the landing and into a room filled with white walls plastered with cheerio memorabilia and photos of a young Blonde with all her friends and those she cared for. Fingers that now abandoned her own hand as they teamed with their own counter part, to grab Rachel's shoulders and gently push her onto the bed, before leaving once more as the body they belonged to walked away to shut the bedroom door. Fingers that slowly released the door handle, as their owner turned to face Rachel with a sympathetic smile.

"At least it wasn't a slushie, right?" Quinn Fabray bit back a chuckle at her own poor joke, but let it out after the Brunette on her bed began to openly laughed at her feeble attempt at humor.

After the laughter faded a silence filled the room, Quinn felt a strange sense of nausea, as Rachel seemed to endlessly stare in her eyes. Almost as if she could see through her... 'Could she?'

Rachel found herself yet again faced with a tender moment shared with the Blonde as she locked with those piercing hazel eyes and saw something in those dancing golden flecks staring back at her, 'uncertainty?' But she didn't have long to judge as Quinn looked away and walked over to her.

"Come on, let me work my magic." She held out her hands to the timid Brunette.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Rachel found that her choking for air was now even occurring in her mind, as it fought to process the fact that she was in her room. Quinn Fabray led her into her room. 'Quinn Fabray led me into her bedroom and asked to work her magic with me...Universe you're killing me!' As Rachel cried to the heavens in her mind, her body seemed to do the talking as she rose up unwillingly, clasping Quinn's hands with her own. She then allowed herself to obediently be guided over to Quinn's wardrobe and mirror, where she stood in awe as Quinn began to eye her up and down.

Quinn reached out and touched Rachel's arm, softly holding her in place as she tried to figure out her size.

"Yeah...I wouldn't worry, I definitely have a few things that will fit you perfectly Rachel" she said as her eyes reached the end of the slender tanned calves before her. She looked up to see Rachel, still uncharacteristically speechless, staring at her whilst biting her lip harshly. She was about to question when she saw Rachel's eyes flicker to the source... Quinn jumped backwards in realization she had been unconsciously tracing the Brunette's arm with her fingers tenderly.

"Sorry, I... I don't even know how I started to do that..." Rachel seemed to find her voice at this moment, probably understanding the Blonde's awkwardness, following her oblivious tender act.

"It's fine Quinn, if it helps the only reason this drink is all over me is because I was accidentally lost in someone outside and failed to see my surroundings" she offered a smile and Quinn looked to the floor sheepishly.

"Can I ask who?" Rachel hadn't expected those words in response to her saving the Blonde of her embarrassment. As her cheeks rapidly blushed and she proceeded to look to the suddenly very interesting floor, she was brought back to reality by those electric fingers on her arm again.

"Okay, maybe another time then?" Quinn was now in close proximity to her and giving her a heavy dose of her charming arched brow. Rachel continued to bite down on her lip with uncertainty as she dumbly nodded her head.

"Well, let's see what I can find shall we?" As the fingers left her arms for the second time, Rachel found her heart rapidly beating from the surge of energy they had provided from a single touch, as she struggled to maintain herself.

Quinn pulled open her Wardrobe doors, and revealed a paradise of everything that made her...well, her. Rachel felt so privileged to be standing in her presence she barely acknowledged Quinn picking out dresses and holding them in front of her to judge before tossing them aside for another.

This wasn't the first time Quinn had proved she had truly changed to Rachel; she was really proving to be as beautiful on the inside as the out. The inspiring billboard messages, letters, saving from humiliation, and even somehow keeping Santana's wrath at bay when she had truly deserved it.

"Quinn I..." she began, as the Blonde held a navy dress against her and gave a 'hmm' of acknowledgment, remaining focused on the task at hand.

"I just wanted to thank you. The other week, when I...well said something not so nice things, well... They weren't true, any of them, I just didn't want you to see me so weak and I, well I'm sorry." At this point Quinn had placed the dress back in the wardrobe and turned to face the diva.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for Rachel. I understand, we all have our off days and-"

"No" Rachel interjected. "No, you don't get to be treated so badly and not receive a sincere apology for it. I know you stopped Santana from punishing me for hurting you. I deserved a beating."

-"Rachel, nobody deserves a beating... especially not one courtesy of Santana Lopez." Quinn smiled as she tried to ease the girl before her.

"No, I did though. And you spared me... I just wanted to thank you I guess. I was horrible that day, and you took it so graciously I just..." Rachel felt her eyes begin to well as she instantly looked back to her feet in despair at how thrown together she was around Quinn. But a familiar touch upon her cheek brought her back to reality as Quinn brought her gave back to face hers.

"Rachel, I know you were in pain. You hadn't been yourself for weeks and you needed to finally let it out. If I was the victim that allowed you to do that."

"But Quinn I-" Rachel attempted to plead her guilt as she again looked to the floor.

"No Rachel, no." -But Quinn wouldn't let her. "Rachel, if I had to be a victim for you to finally express what you were feeling... then I'd proudly be so again and again." Rachel lifted her gaze to see Quinn before her. And as the Blonde removed hand from her cheek, to brush a stray strand of dark chocolate hair behind Rachel's ear, she found her body acting upon itself to reach out to grasp Quinn's electric fingertips.

"Rachel, yes it hurt. I won't say it didn't. -And yes Santana hungered for her revenge!" Quinn began to smile as Rachel's eyes glistened in comfort, "but Santana also understood, that it wasn't you who said those things. She also understood that after everything I used to put you through, I had no right to call you on your crap for one mistake." Rachel lifted the corner of her mouth, into a small smile of thanks. Quinn simply stared into her chocolate orbs. Both girls full of intense understanding for one another as Quinn absent-mindedly played with Rachel's fingers holding her own. Rachel found herself, hating how little she could control her emotions around Quinn. While Quinn found herself realizing that she was feeling something other than friendship for Rachel in this moment. It felt like...'No.' She pulled away from Rachel's hand and returned to the wardrobe. Unaware of how she wasn't the only one who was overcome with a loss of warmth in her fingers.

"Anyway!" Quinn called back to Rachel standing behind her locked in a frozen state of despair. "You'll be fine, just as long as you don't do it again though." She emerged from the Wardrobe and held a white floaty dress against Rachel and toyed her fingers with its material before looking up to a confused Rachel with a beaming smile. "Because if you do happen to hurt me again... I may or may not have promised Santana that she is welcome to place her initial revenge plot involving laxatives, a slushie rainbow and a monkey in motion".

"A what?" -This brought Rachel back to the room.

"A nothing, I said nothing" Quinn smirked, as Rachel recognized the playful tone to her voice and began to smile back.

"Perfect" Quinn stated sincerely. Rachel found all the previous tension flooding back having only been absent for a matter of seconds.

"What is.." she nervously responded.

"Try it on." was the response she received, as she dumbly realized Quinn was referring to the white floaty fabric held against her. She nodded obediently once more, before walking into the bathroom to try on the dress.

"Well... was I right?" she called from her room to the bathroom, waiting for the result of her fashion experiment with the Diva inside of it. Quinn had been pacing back and forth over and over for the last 5 minutes in anticipation. Part of her had actually began to panic that Rachel had slipped and fell unconscious considering the lengthy amount of time she had been in there. But she halted as she heard the rattling of the bathroom handle. As the door began to open she fought the urge to bite her nails with nervousness.

Rachel pushed the bathroom door ajar and slowly re-entered Quinn's room. She inhaled sharply as she caught sight of Quinn by the window. -Her lamp providing a soft lighting to her golden hair and porcelain tone. 'Beautiful'...she thought.

"You really are." Quinn responded in a slight breath. 'Wait did I say that aloud? What is wrong with me tonight? Wait...beautiful?' Rachel found that as the night wore on, with Quinn's presence, and now utterances of finding Rachel 'beautiful', taking Sam's wise advice to move on was proving an impossible task. As she regained her thoughts she took note of how Quinn had fallen into a deadly silence, with those intense hazel eyes staring sharply into Rachel's brown ones. The air was thick with unspoken emotions, Rachel's desire for the girl before her surrounding Quinn's growing curiosity surrounding Rachel. The moment earlier today, the moment she felt a stab of almost 'jealousy?' as she saw Rachel enter the party on Finn's arm. -But she had concluded this was a result of her history surrounding the two. -The idea of Rachel going back to Finn yet again was irritatingly sickening, not that she cared...which she had concluded she didn't. These moments had been happening so often lately, and now yet again she found herself in yet another eye blaze with the young diva. Rachel's darkened orbs were now burning into her skin, as she found that strange unsettling arising once more.

Rachel was about to approach Quinn in a moment of weakness and as much as she regretted to admit, lust...when the Blonde reminded her just how platonically she saw Rachel.

"It looks good Rachel, here come see yourself." as she excitedly held out her hand towards the mirror to the side of her. Rachel regained her focus and with it, her breath, as she dumbly walked forward and stopped in front of the mirror to take a proper look at herself.

Her breath instantly became lost once more as she gasped at the vivid transformation Quinn had conjured. The short dress showed off the legs she never knew she had, as the light airy material danced over her body, the long sleeves giving her a free spirited edge she wasn't aware she possessed. The dress was a bright white, giving her a sense of pride and beauty, which resulted in a soft smile of happiness at the thought of being beautiful.

"You look amazing Rachel", the velvety vice brought the Brunette back in to reality as in her reflection she saw Quinn standing over her shoulder. -The dark black of her dress tainting Rachel's free spirited 'innocence' into and image of a girl in way over her head in a game of unrequited passions.

As Quinn stared into Rachel's image, she found a strange desire for touch, settling across her aching fingertips. Reaching out she felt the incredible spark once more as she slowly, caught Rachel's ever-darkening gaze and brushed a strand of hair over her shoulder to add to the look.

"It needs something..." Rachel was aware of Quinn speaking. But she was more aware of the fast current of electricity running through her as she heard 'said' voice, but inches from her ear. -For someone who had picture losing her virginity to Finn Hudson at the prepared age of 25, this entire situation was too much to bear as she felt her skin set on fire with want.

Quinn slowly walked behind the frozen Brunette, before tracing her fingertips down her arm as she placed her own bracelet onto the diva's wrist. Leaning in close to the stars ear she whispered tauntingly, "There...perfect" as she looked back into the mirror in admiration of her work. While Rachel found the corner of her eyes burning as she was unable to look aware from those dark hazel eyes. -Their golden flecks teasing her. Now staring straight back as she felt those intense fingertips touch her cheek once more as her breath finally made itself known again with a gasp, as she burned under the touch.

Quinn searched the dark eyes before her, unable to explain the need she found herself presented with. -That spark around Rachel finally speaking its name. And its name was chemistry. Without warning she found her eyes dropping down to the source of the scolding chemistry, while Rachel found herself melting at the sight of Quinn staring at her lips.

It was only as they felt one another's breath that they even noticed they were so close they had begun to share oxygen, and just as the Blonde understood the feeling she felt was desire, Rachel had decided that her need for oxygen, meant no longer sharing but taking Quinn's for herself.

Aware of the fact she now had her lips lightly pressed to the Blonde's, Rachel began to panic on realizing Quinn wasn't kissing her back. 'What've I done, YOU IDIOT!' she found herself cursing as she willed herself to pull away, as slowly opened her eyes, fearful of a slap of rejection or an angry glare of disgust. But as her eyelids opened, she was met with a very different sight. Quinn was frozen in place, unable to take her eyes off Rachel's lips. Her incredibly dark eyes at that, then...suddenly she flickered that dark gaze straight into Rachel's and forcefully grabbed the back of the diva's head, pulling her close, and into a searing lip lock.

Lips pressed aggressively as hands roamed and the temperature of the room was capable of incinerating as the two girls fought for dominance. Rachel found herself winning as she plunged into Quinn's neck and the Blonde released a gasp, and with it, an opportunity for Rachel's tongue to gain entrance. As Quinn stifled her moan of pleasure into Rachel's exploring mouth, the Brunette rushed their desperate bodies backwards and flying into the wall with a loud thud.

* * *

><p>-"You look amazing Rachel".<p>

'No, it's not happening, it's not fair'.

-"I guess Teen vogue was wrong, Britney isn't the most stylish in school, I mean if my fantastic choice here is anything to go by, I'd say there's no question she gets her inspirations from yours truly".

'Of course it's happening, what was I thinking'?

Rachel tore her eyes open to find herself standing in the mirror with Quinn happily beaming behind her, clasping her hands together in pride. She had imagined the whole thing. The truth of the situation hurt Rachel now more than ever. She had simply been pretending to get over Quinn's the last two weeks, she had only thought she had taken Sam's advice. As she looked at the reflection of Quinn, she saw an oblivious state of happiness staring right back. She found herself forced to accept as she fought the icy tears pricking her eyes once more... It was all in her head, 'Of course it was'. None of it was real, 'how could it be?' She has no idea, 'she never could'. She doesn't love me back, 'she never will'.

Rachel hid her pain, as she understood now, Quinn was a magical delusion she could never have. She wanted to run and cry, but as she felt a cold metal residing on her wrist she found reality once more, as Quinn finished the ensemble with her bracelet.

"There...perfect". She took a few steps back to admire her work. Rachel looked, well honestly she never thought it possibly from the pantsuit-loving, sweater adoring hobbit... but she had to admit, she had made Rachel reveal how hot she actually was. 'So this is what Finn kept leaving me for' she found herself almost chuckling. But as she smiled softly, she saw a quiver in the corner of Rachel's eye. She looked dumbstruck and lost, actually...she looked frightened.

"Rachel...is it okay? What do you think?" she asked hopefully.

The Brunette knew she would have to use her steadily returning voice at some point, unfortunately that time was now, she kept focused on the mirror, refusing to taunt herself by looking at Quinn.

"I think..." she began, carefully choosing her words, Sam's advice of being honest to allow yourself to heal echoing through her mind. "I think, you are made of magic Quinn Fabray".

Across the room Quinn let out a sigh of relief she wasn't aware she was waiting for. She walked back across her room and reached out to take the diva's hand to turn her to face her. Rachel's tear filled eyes of insecurity stared straight back as she felt for the girl. 'She has no idea how special she really is'.

"You know Rachel, there was this film on the other week, it's one of my favorites actually, I doubt you've seen it... it's a Hong Kong romance flick-"

"Bei Mi Len Sung?" Rachel recognized the previous topic Finn had shared. Somehow hearing it from Quinn's mouth, was much more interesting.

"Mei Li Ren Sheng?" Quinn corrected with a raised eyebrow of amusement. Rachel drooped her eyes and flushed in embarrassment. Quinn figured she would continue to her original point.

"Well, anyway, it's a favorite of mine. You see Rachel; in the film there is a beautiful woman. And a policeman who falls for her, now throughout the film he attempts to recite the lyrics to a song his father used to play on guitar. But he can never remember the words. But as the film goes on, we discover he has a progressing form of dementia, and his brain is vastly deteriorating..."

-"This doesn't sound very romantic Quinn" Rachel brought her eyes back to the Blonde's who smirked as she continued to reach her point.

"Anyway, after a whirlwind romance, in which he loved her but she never notices him. She finally see's what was in front of her the whole time and searches to find him. Of course when she does, she learns that his memory is becoming worse and worse and he is slowly dying. But at this point she loves him too much to care and marries him and despite everything they fall heavily in love."

Rachel furrowed her brows, confused as to what this all had to do with her statement, but the Blonde seemed determined to make her point, as she held onto her hands and continued her speech.

"Anyway, towards the end, everything reaches an all time low. He doesn't remember anything and is more a patient than a husband, she loathes the situation she is in, and considers leaving him one night, but then it happens."

-"What happens?" Rachel's voice was weak and insecure. Quinn could tell by the unstable look in her eye that she needed this, and so she was more determined to make her see.

"Well," she paused and looked to her feet before lifting her gaze back to Rachel's, her eyes filled with a loving warmth and hope. "Well, in the middle of the night she hears the guitar, and she walks through the house to find him singing the most romantic song she's ever heard, she starts to cry. Then when he finishes, he looks to her with tear filled eyes and smiling as he tells her that this is the first time he has ever remembered the words to his fathers lullaby."

Rachel found her anxiety settling as she saw the adoration of the story in Quinn's eyes, she failed to see the point Quinn was making, but if it meant Quinn sharing her personal joys with her, she would never complain.

"So..." she pursed her lips trying to see where the Blonde was headed with this story, "when he was at his absolute worse, he still managed to make her love him?"

"Exactly! It's magical right?" Quinn's eyes lit with happiness as she smiled widely then upon seeing Rachel's confusion, narrowed her expression into a sincere one as she kindly made her point.

"Rachel, the point is, at the start of the film when they meet, he carry's her home and she points to these beautiful lights above them." Quinn's eyes softened as she pressed on, "The moment foreshadows the entire film, when he see's her, he assumes nothing will ever compare to her beauty." Rachel smiled, somewhat understanding the feelings of this fictional character. "But he was wrong."

Rachel looked to Quinn, she was about to question but a slight spark from Quinn's finger against her lips silenced her as it stole her breath so Quinn could continue.

"He was wrong, as what he didn't know was that the love they would share, would prove to be so magical, it more than matched her beauty. The lights at the start of the film, they're magical, and as the films supposed beauty points them out, the camera follows them and it leads you to the true beauty. Their love."

As Quinn removed her finger from Rachel's lips, she shared a silence with her, as she saw Rachel's adoration staring back at her. It felt like, well...'it feels like home' she concluded.

"Rachel, I may seem magic to you, putting a dress on you to make you look quite frankly, stunning." The Brunette turned crimson at the compliment, "but the point is Rachel, I'm just the magic that leads the way to you, and the beauty you've always had, but just never let the world really see."

"-Because they find me annoying?"

"No other girl on earth patronizingly corrects the amount you do." Rachel was now blushing furiously in embarrassment.

"But that's not the point Rachel... The point is you're beautiful, and I'm sorry you've never seen it before".

Rachel could have wrapped her arms around Quinn and thanked her. She could have cried at the tenderness of the moment. But for Rachel, just sharing a knowing silence with her, said more than words ever could. Quinn would never know it, but when she went around telling other people how beautiful she thought they were, she only made herself that much more beautiful to them.

Quinn could have spoke also, but as she watched Rachel's adoration staring back at her, she couldn't help but feel loved. She felt. Happy. Something she hadn't experienced truly in months, not since Puck...well, not since Puck.

"Thank you Quinn."

"Anytime Rachel."

"Q, I DID NOT COME TO YOUR PARTY TO NOT SEE YOU ALL NIGHT!" -'well that moment lasted long' Rachel unknowingly cursed in sync with Quinn.

Santana erupted through the door, swaying suspiciously like she had been drinking from the same waterhole as Kurt that evening.

"Berry?" she noted the other girl in the room, and confidently brushed Quinn aside to stand before her. "Wow," she began, her voice dripped with it's venom ready for assault. "I don't actually hate this look on you," she began to smirk as she clapped her hands mockingly and mouthed "Yay..."

-"Santana, who knew even when complimenting you could intimidate me? I sorry for ever doubting you" Rachel sarcastically replied. Santana began to laugh, as did Rachel as they shared a rare agreement of admiration for each other.

Santana threw her arm around the small girl and guided her out the room and back to the party. Leaving a dumbstruck Quinn in the doorway.

"Did I miss something?" she muttered before heading to the stairs in deep thought, 'I guess Rachel was right, My presence is magic' she concluded as she rejoined the party outside. 'Santana was nice!'

* * *

><p>'In wasn't that Rachel Berry was drunk. No. Rachel Barbara Berry does not get drunk. The only time Rachel Barbara Berry shall get drunk is in celebration of every major award win in her career. -If she gets her way with an aspired: 3 TONY's, 2 Academy Awards, a GRAMMY, 5 EMMY's and after impressing even the British with her more serious tone of acting abilities, a BAFTA... Yes, Rachel Barbara Berry shall only ever be drunk a total of 12 times throughout her career. But Christmas Eve of her Senior Year was not supposed to be one of those occasions. Then again Rachel Barbara Berry never planned on transforming her frenemy relationship with Miss Lucy Quinn Fabray into an unrequited passion of lust, romance, and (unfortunately for her current pair of panties) hot, hot, HOT fantasies. However, judging by the way her feet insisted on wobbling no matter how much she publicly told them off, she had resorted to thinking in the third person in order to properly evaluate, then judge herself. Yes, it would appear that Rachel Barbara Berry, was indeed... somewhat inebriated. -Again, completely not related to a particular Blonde cheerleader that breaks her heart with every stolen glance her way... Just saying.'<p>

As she leaned against the Gazebo swirling her drink with added 'ocean sound effects' for dramatic effect, the young diva found she was still stuck in the exact predicament she had fooled herself in thinking she had begun to leave behind a few weeks ago. The snow had begun to lightly fall and as a result everyone had begun to run into the safety of the warmth within the Fabray house.

But despite the bitter cold and shivers as her icy breath revealed itself in the darkening night, Rachel couldn't allow herself to go back inside. She found herself far too caught up in the view from this position. -Through the glass of the patio door she could see her friends and family laughing and joking. As the snow fell they had surrounded themselves with the warmth the four walls of the house provided, and with it, the warmth of each other.

With a daze of Blonde she found herself foreseeing the future she could never be a part of. Quinn laughed as she swirled Sam's younger sister around, oblivious as Sam and his younger brother snuck up to shout 'Boo' and scare them both into a fit of giggles. She knew the jealousy was irrelevant, Sam and Quinn didn't feel that way about each other anymore, they hadn't for a long time; but that never effect their friendship and closeness to each other.

-For Sam, Quinn would always be the first sign of hope for him at his new school, as she found him after a slushie facial, and revealed the brightness of her inner beauty and vulnerability as she trusted him with her heart after the world had stomped on it so hard.

-For Quinn, Sam would forever be the one she knew she was ashamed to have allowed to let slip away. He was good to her… he was kind. He treated her the way she had always longed for, but no matter how perfect he was, he just wasn't Puck. So she did what she always did when she got scared... she pushed him away by cheating with Finn.

On paper the two were the makings of the Hollywood ending, but in reality they both knew their hearts would always lie elsewhere to the ones who had tainted them. They were the picture perfect family. An insight into Quinn Fabray's future, and as Rachel felt the familiar sting in her eyes; she looked back to her drink and accepted her lonely future.

* * *

><p>As he finally released his younger sister from his playful grasp, (mainly due to Quinn jumping on him and demanding he let go with the aid of a sofa cushion) Sam smiled warmly as he saw Quinn whispering into his siblings ears as they giggled happily. He straightened himself out and shivered as he felt a cool breeze on his neck. He turned to see the patio door slightly ajar, and through it's glass, his finally saw the bigger picture.<p>

Rachel was leaning against the Gazebo, frozen and shivering. But from the look of intense hurt and longing on her face he realized, the fear of what was happening to her wouldn't allow her to move. She was staring directly at the person a few feet away from him... She stared with hurt... She stared with love... She stared at...'Quinn?'

Had it not been for the next moment, Sam would never of understood. He would have thought it to be the most bizarre and tragic turn of events for Rachel. -'I mean, falling in love with your ex-tormentor? Seriously? Who happens to be of a gender you never previously showed an interest for? Oh, and she just so happens to be your ex's, ex-girlfriend!' All these thoughts of shock and amazement rushed through his mind until he awoke when Rachel dropped her gaze, and sighed as she toyed with the glass she held in her fingers. 'Rachel is just as confused about this as anyone. -Actually, I'd say more than anyone'. To Sam, she looked on the verge of desperate, and more vulnerable than he'd ever seen another human before. He was about to rush outside when the opening of the Patio door dragged him to a halt.

"Rachel?" a small voice and tiny hand appeared in front of the Diva. As she looked up, or well...down, she saw Sam's younger sister before her. He inhaled deeply and composed her signature smile before replying in her best 'Hollywood friendly' and non-drunk voice.

"Hi...can I help you?" The young blonde before her smiled before handing her a coat.

"Quinn said you were going to catch your death in the cold. I caught a cold once. It's not like catching a ball…it isn't fun. -I don't want you to catch your death". The small adorable girl made Rachel melt on the spot. She reached out to accept the girt and wrapped the black parka around her shoulders gratefully.

-"You know she isn't the only one who didn't want you to catch death." -There it was, the velvety voice that froze her body to the spot as it burned her heart.

"Although I must say, my coat looks pretty good on you Miss Berry. But, as always, there's something missing." Quinn slowly approached Rachel, and stopped before her looking down to the smaller Blonde and winking in return to a beaming smile. Rachel however just responded the way she always seemed to nowadays... dumbstruck. And thanks to the alcohol, dumbstruck and 50 percent sure this was a dream. Quinn reached out and wrapped a bright red scarf around Rachel's neck before sighing into the cool breeze with a smile, and then stepping back to take the younger Blonde's hand beside her who wore just as big a smile. Rachel barely blinked, finding her brain outweighing the alcohol now, telling her that attempting a response would inevitably result in a word vomit of embarrassing stumble forwards as she again failed to control her own disobedient feet.

Quinn, still wearing her infectious warm smile, knelt in the snow to whisper into her smaller minions ear. The young girl giggled and then looked to Rachel and proudly stated..."There, perfect!"

As the younger girl grasped her hand tightly Quinn slowly stood and connected her hazel eyes with Rachel's chocolate ones. After a few seconds pause, she smirked wickedly and spoke.

"You know, that scarf is pretty special to me Miss Berry. -I believe I wore it when I first encountered a young Brunette with a knack for talking and dreaming of her supposed mother Barbara Streisand. It's quite a sentimental artifact to me actually..."

Rachel found the corner of her mouth curling as she used her free hand to touch the red fabric of the material around her neck. She was about to inform Quinn she remembered that day just as well, when the surprisingly timid voice of Quinn's mother broke through from behind them.

"Quinn," The three girls turned and looked back to the house. Stood in the patio doorway was Judy, who appeared to have sobered considerably in a matter of seconds. "Mom? What's wrong?" Quinn began to panic and handed Sam's sister over to the equally as startled Rachel before for turning back to face her stressed mother.

"Quinn, you... Well..." The older Fabray flustered with her speech, clearly trying to make sense of what was happening.

But Quinn exhaled slowly to prepare herself as she asked her mother slowly, "Mom, what is it?"

"Quinnie, there's someone here to see you..."

* * *

><p>For Quinn, time had only ever truly stopped a few times. One, when she found out how Rachel had revealed the true identity of her baby's father to Finn in Sophomore Year. She had never felt so betrayed and heartbroken as she saw two friends tear themselves apart because of her mistake, and worse, by Rachel's hand.<p>

The second time was when she saw the look on Rachel's face as Puck stormed out after she was accused of cheating with Mike Chang. In those brown eyes she saw herself for the second time, the person she had become and the person who was hurting Puck so much. In those eyes she saw the person she wished she no longer had to see.

The third time, came just now. Her mothers strained expression blurred as the crowds of spectators began to part, gasping as they cleared the path. She wanted to turn around and hide in Rachel's arms from what ever was about to appear. What if it was bad? Shelby was here to announce that Beth had been in an accident, or an officer to say that her Dad had gotten into more trouble again? But she couldn't. Because this was one of those times she found herself frozen in place. She wanted to run, but she had a better idea. As the crowds parted, her breathing raced and heart pounded, she pictured the hallway of McKinley High again. And as the seas parted she saw it, that cheeky smirk on a rebellious Jock who held her heart. But as she blinked she saw another image, the image of Puck standing tall as he proudly marched towards her, wearing a military uniform that reflected the good she had always seen in him when nobody else believed it was there. She saw him walk into the Garden, and stop in front of the house. Holding a small package neatly under his arm. However as she blinked again, she realized that this image, was in fact reality...the gasps and whispering through the air confirming that the moment wasn't as surreal as she had originally thought.

Judy Fabray found the comforting arm of Leroy Berry holding her as she struggled knowing whether she was right in allowing the boy who broke her daughter into the house.

Leroy Berry found himself shocked at the utter romance of the situation before him. -Jealous of his daughter's key view of it all. Then mentally cursing that 'Sam Evans' for being so tall and restricting his view of the real life drama occurring outside.

Sam Evans found himself looking past the moment unfolding, unable to look away from the one whose story wasn't being told here. The one looked on as the one she loved never realized at all these major milestones in her life, Rachel had always been there one way or another.

But for Rachel Berry, it was almost as if the child by her side had sense the change in atmosphere. Rather than being excited, Rachel felt her pain in her eyes breaking for a second, as she felt a sympathetic squeeze from the tiny hand holding her own.

The crowd looked on. Quinn had failed to react for an agonizing minute or so now. Noah Puckerman had stood in silence, knowing exactly what reaction was headed his way, and knowing he wouldn't be able to make his case until she had made her own.

As the loud slap echoed through the deafening silence, Quinn's tears fell freely as her hand throbbed with the pain of acknowledging Puck's cheek at such force, and the pain of knowing she was actually able to touch him again having thought he'd abandoned her for good.

She stared angrily as he ignored his swelling cheek to turn back to face her. He looked down as he removed the package from under his arm and presented it to her.

"Quinn, I told you I knew I wasn't the man you deserved me to be. I also told you I loved you. So I had to leave, so I could become the man you needed me to be."

His deep voice startled her as his words connected. Her angry tears burned her skin as she looked down to the uniform he now wore with pride. Puck had enlisted. He had decided to become a hero, just for her. The navy uniform hugged his muscles in a masculine fashion. His appearance, somewhat groomed despite his light stubble and Mohawk still showing beneath his dark hat. He was undeniably handsome, and heroic. To top it off, he was standing before her, a changed man declaring his love for her. Words failed to even form within the Blonde's mind. So instead, she allowed her body to talk. As Quinn tore her eyes away from him, and looked down to what he held before her.

Wrapped in Noah's fingers was a copy of 'Nicholas Sparks, Dear John' (after the shock of 'Wuthering Heights', she wasn't shocked by this revelation that Noah, judging by the worn book before her, had read a Nicholas Sparks epic).

She carefully pulled it from his fingers and traced the spine of the book, noting a folded page as she did so. Without encouragement, she delicately opened the book and ran her finger down the page to read the highlighted text...

_"There are memories for both of us, of course, but I've learned that memories can have a physical, almost living presence, and in this, Savannah and I are different as well. If hers are stars in the night-time sky, mine are the haunted empty spaces in between..."_

The garden was silent as everyone witnessed the tears streaming down Quinn Fabray's face, as Noah Puckerman stood before her, transformed and with a loving expression. The Blonde slowly raised her head from the book after a tear fell on to the words she had memorized, as she connected her lost eyes with the ones that had always seemed to guide her home.

Within seconds Noah felt the fragile and tender arms of the girl he loved, being thrown around his neck as she jumped into his arms with tears of joy while he twirled her around the winters falling snow.

All Quinn could utter at this point was her amazement and happiness as her love returned as she cried into his neck, "You came back...You actually came back".

The entire crowd began to clap and awe, before approaching the reunited couple with toasts of congratulations, everyone eager to hear the full story.

-Everyone except Sam Evan's who saw the silhouette of Rachel standing alone and stumbling backwards, before running away into the darkness.

He calmly approached Judy who had her arms tightly around her daughter, and informed her to tell the Berry men that 'he was taking Rachel home as she felt unwell, but had insisted they stay and enjoy themselves'. He then proceeded to let his parents know he was headed home early to stop someone being alone this Christmas'. And, with that... he exited, and drove straight to the home of the girl who amidst all the Christmas Eve's romance, everybody had failed to notice getting her heart broken.

* * *

><p>As Midnight came, the snow continued to fall and Christmas day finally arrived. The stars shined as the white blanket returned to the streets of Lima, Ohio. This time, the snow failed to hide Quinn's truths from Rachel, as the Brunette sat on her Porch, crying into the arms of Sam Evans, as the pain her secret hopes the evening had presented had yet again been cruelly snatched away from her.<p>

On the other side of town the snow did fulfill it's covering duties. As Quinn fell asleep in the arms of Noah Puckerman, she lay unaware that tonight, as she had her heart mended; she had unconsciously broke another's.

Sam held Rachel's small frame as she choked on her pain and heartache. She found she had only one thing she needed from Sam if he wished to comfort her successfully.

"What happens now?" She trembled, as her watery and tired eyes looked up to his reassuring ones.

"Tomorrow Rachel, you cry. Then, with time, you come to accept... And eventually, you can begin to move on. But for now..." Sam looked to his friend and rubbed her back gently as he continued, "For now Rachel, we can just sit here a while".

* * *

><p><em><strong>Okay so that was a LOT of words. -I would say I'm kind of proud actually. Even if it is a load of rubbish. (WHICH I SINCERELY DO HOPE IT ISN'T CONSIDERING THE AMOUNT OF WORDS STOLEN FROM MY BRAIN AND PUT INTO THIS) <strong>_

_**But as always...are you even reading this? Genuine question, I've always wondered if people read these authors notes at the end of chapters. Do they? Or...you rather? Hmm, and just like that you have learned how easily I get distracted and with it the reason for me taking oh so long to post! **_

_**Anyhoo PLEASE REVIEW, it makes a delusional English Girl (who believes having deleted Facebook she will actually survive without it for more than a week), believe that people actually enjoy her somewhat random storytelling.  
><strong>_


	8. To Be Alone With You

_**Chapter Seven -To Be Alone With You  
><strong>_

_January (Senior Year)_

'Fact, I am never agreeing to eat my mums cooked breakfast again -how does one successfully cremate a boiled egg?

Fact, Puck is in my good books, he shaved that dam Mohawk in trade for a new years kiss.

Fact, I look good, like really hot... I've got to thank Sue for letting me back on the cheerios. I wear this uniform too well to carry on being stubborn.

Fact, Rachel is ignoring my texts, calls and even her own doorbell. -This will stop now, fact!'

Lucy Quinn Fabray felt like her cards had finally turned. She had spent a year in hell, she had spent a year convinced she had only one option left, but then she had spent weeks reflecting on how Rachel had saved her, Puck had returned, and on how her Mom was trying hard for once to actually be a parent it seemed after insisting on both 'family time', and that she start seeing a councilor. All in all, Quinn knew she no longer had the right to feel alone; for once in her life, her luck had changed, and she would make sure she kept it that way.

So this time, as the crowds parted like the sea, Quinn took note: to smile and wave, to laugh melodically at passing jokes directed her way, and to ensure that this time, as McKinley Highs students saw the halls oceans part to a red blur with flowing Blonde hair, they would feel nothing but relief rather than fear of an ice cold slushie aided rejection. This time, Quinn actually cared about the bigger picture, this time, she actually found herself believing she had one.

But this morning, Quinn had only one obligation, to find the soulful brunette who had avoided her so masterfully since the Christmas party. Quinn would find her, and despite the two girls history of minimal communication, Quinn would find out why.

It wasn't until second period that she succeeded. The sound of books crumbling to the floor surrounded by laughter, came from the hallway in which they both owned a locker; and alerted the reformed cheerleader of her targets whereabouts.

The small brunette was kneeling to the ground fumbling and muttering under her breath frantically, desperately trying, and amusingly failing to gather her miniature piece of McKinley's library back together.

"Not today, not now; life is cruel -of course it is, you're you. Rachel Berry, residential idiot and pathetic sob story" Rachel's fingers fumbled further as she reorganized her fallen written knowledge and with it, her dignity.

Just as Rachel found herself tempting to utter a horrific word beginning with F, and rhyming with Combine Harvester Truck, she stopped her actions abruptly as a delicate hand reached in front of her, and passed her, her final two books.

"Residential idiot maybe, but only as you seem to genuinely believe you are a pathetic sob story", Rachel shuddered at the recognition of the velvety voice she heard in her sleep each night.

"Quinn?" -Asking was pointless, the diva already knew the answer before she looked up and her eyes were met with those fierce hazel swirls. -Hazel swirls that hesitated as the chocolate orbs they reached out to, quickly looked away and to the floor.

But Quinn was on a mission, and what kind of cheerleader would she be if she didn't succeed in at least getting Rachel to talk to her?

"Well..." the Blonde began as the two rose to their feet in the crowed hallway.

"Well?" Rachel weakly countered, actually attempting to address Quinn before sheepishly thinking better of it, returning her gaze to her feet.

"-well, what do you think? Notice anything different?" Quinn smiled happily as she twirled on the spot, showing off her colours to the crumbling mess of a diva before her.

"-You put your hair up?"

"No...I mean, well yes, but I? -Wait you noticed? No! I mean...yeah right, very funny Rachel..."

Despite the clear sarcasm in her voice, Quinn found herself grateful for her vocal slip up as Rachel responded to it with what seemed like a subtle chuckle, blushing cheeks and of course the quick return of her gaze to her feet.

"Oh really Rachel? Am I missing something here?" This caused the singer to raise her attention back to the Blonde.

"I'm sorry Quinn?"

"Well, I was just wondering, what I'm missing about your shoes. Everytime we meet lately you seem to think they're the most fascinating specimen in the room. -Well, that...or you're avoiding me."

"I..no...Quinn, I just erm.." Rachel's embarrassment frenzied as she hopelessly tried to think of an excuse, anything at all to leave her lips, that would reassure the Blonde before her that she was incorrect. -Despite the truth being she had seen right through Rachel yet again, hauntingly so.

The bumbling needed to stop as Quinn waited patiently with an arched brow, determined to get through to Rachel, and show her she cared about her and worried about whatever it was that she seemed to be going through.

Quinn's eyes seemed to plead for honesty from Rachel, and heartfelt plea behind a reassuring soft smile. -A plea Rachel knew she couldn't truthfully answer, without causing more hurt to the angel before her, who finally seemed to have some semblance of a happy life at her fingertips.

"It's just, I..." 'no, not this time' the Brunette mentally cursed, "it's just you look stunning Quinn."

Quinn, couldn't understand how hearing Rachel's compliment had managed to simultaneously make her feel lied to and hollow inside. As if they were just meaningless words the Brunette would throw her way in a bid to get rid of her.

"Oh..." The Blonde took her turn to look to her feet, she inhaled a sigh before making one last attempt, "Are you sure there's nothing else wanted to say Rachel?"

-'Yes, that I'm hopelessly in lo-BAD WORD! -Hopelessly, in erm...like? Yes, I'm hopelessly in like with you Quinn and no matter what I do, these feeling won't go away'

"No. There's nothing else Quinn. I hereby assure you I'm happy for you and the way you seem to finally be getting your life back together. -And now you're back on the Cheerios everything can go back to the way it was for you, honestly I'm happy for you".

Rachel mustered the strength to smile warmly to the girl before her, before turning to place the books back into her locker and beginning to walk away, swallowing her sadness with every step.

However only three steps of sadness later did she feel the painful spark of electricity at the touch of fingers on her arm, pulling her back around. A touch that pained her, but pained her more to know despite this agony, she still yearned for it with her last breath.

"Rachel, I don't want things to go back to how they were." Quinn kept her fingers on Rachel as she trailed them from the singers tanned arm to her fingertips. Gently taking her hand to confirm her point as Rachel brought her watery gaze to hers.

"Rachel, why would I? I was horrible to you, you and I went out of our ways to make one another miserable. Boys, glee, the bid for valedictorian and prom Queen. It was all so superficial, it wasn't real, no wonder I ended up on such a bad road. I wasn't facing reality. Now why would I want to go back to that cruel fantasy when you worked so hard to make me see the world again?"

Tears were subtly beginning to creep back into the Blonde's eyes as Rachel found herself overwhelmed with guilt for the amount Quinn seemed to end up in tears around her.

"Quinn, I..."

-"No Rachel, look" Quinn took note of her surroundings and released Rachel's hand to quickly wipe away the brimming tears before smiling softly and continuing, "Rachel, I don't want that. What I want, is for you and me to be friends, I meant what I said. You helped save me, that's hardly the kind of person I'm willing to let walk away."

"Really?"

"Consider this my proverbial olive branch extended for your friendship" Quinn smirked, teasing the singer for her previous methods of trying to befriend her in the past.

"Well," Rachel began to smile, "Since you put it so eloquently..."

-"I learned from the best".

* * *

><p>"Chicken... with not even a pinch of Parmesan. -Now as to why I left Dalton I'm struggling to remember."<p>

"Kurt, please; Dalton is all cuisine and no canteen. You came back for the Tate Tots and myself I'm sure."

"Don't flatter yourself Mercedes, we all know he came back because he missed the greatest talent Glee Club has... me... and my knowledge of Gay Dolphins."

Kurt, Mercedes, Brittney and Rachel sat in the Canteen; three were chatting idly away, whilst the other mastered the skill of slicing peas with a spork while she contemplated her never ending predicament.

"-Like I was saying, Brittney as much as I love and adore your excellent Fashion trend powers and optimism that you bring to the Glee family, I have to confirm that there is no way an animal as unsightly as a shark could ever be considered a cute, and further more- a gay, dolphin!"

Rachel was mildly aware that the others were in a deep philosophical discussion about well, the homosexual tendencies of dolphins apparently, but as she maneuvered the peas on her plate she focused on waiting for time to pass. Enough time so she could go home and berate herself for agreeing to be friends with Quinn, 'so much for distancing myself'!

The singer was about to see if it was possible to slice a pea in to quarters via 'spork' when a breeze of warmth brushed against her and the smell of grape, or more specifically grape slushie, awakened her senses and brought her back home.

"And here I thought you aimed to be on Broadway Rachel?" The breathy voice of Quinn Fabray came from beside her as Rachel looked up and temporarily decided if being friends meant being able to sit this close to Quinn, then she was more than okay with it.

"For your information Quinn, I have only aims to go to Broadway, I do believe at the beginning of the year you witnessed me filling in my NYADA application as I helped you with your Yale counterpart?"

-"Well someone seems chirpier than earlier today".

"Someone gained a friend," Rachel smiled.

"And said friend was simply questioning this act of brutality you seem to be committing against your vegetables" Quinn laughed, sipping on her purple slushie as she pointed to Rachel's massacred food on her plate.

"Oh that..."

"Yes that..." Quinn chuckled, "something on your mind Rachel?"

-In a matter of seconds Quinn had reminded Rachel why being friends was a horrific idea, she couldn't talk to her without Quinn seeing straight through. As the nausea began to settle in her stomach and her throat closed up, Rachel was preparing to create an excuse of 'Well this raccoon' proportions when she was gratefully saved by a huge outbreak of gasps from the canteen students.

The five glee kids on the table turned frantically to see what the scene was that was unfolding, and no sooner had Rachel thanked the source of interruption, she immediately regretted her mental action.

Sat upon the descending bleachers, in his army uniform with Blaine and Finn at his side, was Puck...naturally with Guitar, ready for serenade.

Not seconds in to her fake gag and eye roll, (followed by an instant rush of guilt for her loathing for the unfortunately reformed and wonderful Puck), the gasps began to silence as the familiar infamous guitarist bad boy began to strum a melodic melody, as a small portion of the Orchestra began to accompany him from the surrounding bleachers. -He was romantic, handsome, and even thought out his band arrangements for his serenades, Rachel found her eyes longing to tear themselves away from his sickening perfection.

_Come closer now whisper a secret_

_A story about a girl_

_No you don't need to know what her name is_

_I wrote about her before_

_I wish I were the cigarettes,_

_Tucked down deep in her pockets_

_She'd light me up_

_Let me swing from her lips like a circus show_

Rachel couldn't decide what was worse. The fact that Puck was on as unbelievable serenading form as ever, or the fact that the only person she knew she could talk to was back home visiting his family for a week. Just one sympathetic smile courtesy of Sam Evans would be enough right now, but instead, she was surrounded by hormonal teens envying Quinn for her amazing love story with Puck.

_This ain't a show_

_No it's a song for a girl_

_She's making my head spin_

_Making me slur my words._

_This is a song about a girl_

_This is a song about love,_

_Love la-la-la-love_

_I won't forget her name_

_I'll always love her the same_

_My love, love la-la-la-la-la-la-love_

_This is all for you._

As the second chorus kicked in Rachel saw the adoration flicker in the beautiful radiating eyes of the girl beside her, and knew that her frozen tears were threatening to take control once more. -And this time, in an awfully public setting. She concluded she'd rather spend an hour crying in the girls second floor bathroom than have to sit through this, and discreetly exited her seat on the bench and walked towards the stairs leading back into the high school for her escape from yet another humiliating reminder of how 'in over her head' she truly was.

* * *

><p>As she reached the top of the stairs she heard the music dye out, crowd cheer and sound of clapping and awe, fill the outside Lima air. Despite her best intentions screaming that it couldn't end well, the singer turned around and gripped the metal fencing to watch the finale of the serenade. -Puck was now sitting in her place at the table, with Quinn passionately kissing him to the jokes and cheers of her fellow Glee peers.<p>

Rachel couldn't stand it. A year ago she was a vibrant, determined songstress on her way to great things. Now... well now she was a struggling third wheel to an epic romance rivaling that of Rose and Jack of Titanic. How was it, watching such a beautiful moment in anothers life, could cause her so much pain?

-It was only as the teardrop fell on the screen of her phone she even knew she was crying, she was utterly numb. Simply desperate for someone to notice, as she held her phone to her ear, she breathed heavily, impatiently waiting for the other line to pick up...

_"Hi, so this is Sam, but you know that...cause you called me! -I'm either playing a joke or I'm not here right now, so either way, leave a message and either I'll get back to you or start laughing on the other line."_

The beep of the answerphone never sounded as Rachel hung up and sunk to the floor, wiping her tears as she desperately tried to collect herself before somebody walked back to class and saw her.

"Rachel?" -'hmm, wishful thinking, now I'm even imagining her...'

"Rachel, why are you on the floor?" -'I'm not imagining am I?'

The Brunette squinted her eyes up to the bright light, and with it, saw the outline of a concerned Blonde Cheerio she cried over as she saw her with Puck just minutes ago.

"I erm, well, it's surprisingly good phone reception here".

"What? On the cold floor of the top of the stairwell, after sneaking away from everyone suspiciously during lunch?"

"Shouldn't you be with Noah, Quinn?" -Rachel sounded a lot colder than she had intended to with that retort. Luckily for her, the new, 'handling life Quinn Fabray' seemed to ignore her snap and instead chose to slowly slide to the ground beside Rachel, looking to the ground as she contemplated her next words.

"Quinn?"

"Rachel?" The Blonde joked with a typical arch of her brow.

"What are you doing?" The diva carefully questioned glancing to her side to watch the Cheerio beside her absent mindlessly dancing her fingertips on the ground.

Quinn stopped her dancing fingers, and gulped on what seemed to be a well considered response as she turned her head to rest it on the wall as she stared into the singers eyes.

"Well, I hear they have good phone signal here..." Rachel found a small smile threatening to break as she tugged war with the corner of her lip, finally sending a small smirk to Quinn's way as they both sat in silence; leaning against the wall, sat on the floor as they temporarily got lost in thought while staring into each others eyes.

After the sound of the lunch bell signifying the end of break, both girls snapped to attention and began to stand. The singer was about to thank Quinn and say goodbye when the Cheerleader interrupted her train of thought.

"So I'll just be..."

-"Can you help me with something after school?"

Rachel should of made sure to ask what. Note the use of the word 'should', but this was Quinn, and Rachel was Rachel, so naturally she failed to contain any sense of really thought.

"Anything Quinn" she delivered with a small smile.

"-Well Puck gets shipped out at the end of the month, anyway, we're trying to spend as much time together as possible. You know, even if it's just a five minute serenade at lunch?" Quinn laughed as Rachel began to feel an unsettling feeling in her stomach yet again.

"Anyway, the point is, after today, I sort of need to raise my game you know? And well, I was hoping you could help. I mean, I've only ever connected to a song I'm singing when I was angry and pregnant, or when I was either with you, or singing about how frustrated I was at you in the past. Wait no, that didn't come our right..."

-"I'll happily stand next to Puck so you can 'connect' to a song through your annoyance of me Quinn" Rachel bitterly responded but Quinn was quick to correct herself.

"No! I mean, look Rachel... I can't explain, it's like... well. -I guess I don't know how to feel anything when your not involved, unless you know... angry and pregnant, annoyed at you for doing what I couldn't" Quinn joked, and Rachel feebly and regrettably smiled back -a smile Quinn mistook for agreement.

"-So you'll do it? Help me practice after school in the auditorium? Thank you so much Rachel!"

Rachel wanted to scream. Rachel wanted to cry to the heavens. Rachel wanted to rhyme Combine Harvester Truck with it's counterpart beginning with the letter F. -Rachel wanted a lot of things... But as Quinn walked away excitedly to class, Rachel realized she had left it too late yet again.

* * *

><p>As Rachel Barbara Berry walked backstage and neared the closed stage curtain, she wondered if she should turn around and flee right this second. She could technically still get away, text Quinn apologizing and explaining she didn't feel well, or had lost her voice to laryngitis again. Anything to get her out of what would surely be a stupid move on her part. Lost in her train of thought and thudding heart, it was only as her phone vibrated in her pocket she managed to calm and focus on something other than the person she had fallen so hard for.<p>

_**Rach. You called earlier. During Lunch. -You sacrificed 'social time' to reach me, so I'm guessing you're about to do something stupid. Don't do it Rach. One of you will get hurt, triangles don't balance out!**_

-Well if she was looking for a sign to run it seemed she had just found it. But seeing as her feet had unconsciously carried on to their home, Rachel found herself stood at the edge of the stage, in a darkened auditorium.

"Rachel? Rachel is that you?"

The Brunette turned abruptly only to realize she still remained in darkness and unable to see, simply hear the airy voice of the one she craved for. She found herself praying for some sort of romantic scene like a kiss in the cover of darkness or even an acapella song just for her or even-

"Can someone please get the..." As the stage lights blasted Quinn Fabray revealed herself stood beside Brad at the piano, out of her uniform and wearing a flowing tank top and flowery 'indy' styled skirt. Naturally, just to add to the cruel romance of the moment, the string section of the Junior band were behind the piano and at the ready to begin.

-'Even dressed down she looks amazing, surprise surprise! -Wait, Brad? Why are you here, quick ruining my romance!' Rachel found that screaming internally was becoming quite therapeutic as of late.

-"Lights" Quinn finished, now with a smile on her face as she shined surrounded by a cool blue tinted spotlight in an dark ocean of the auditorium. Rachel began to step towards her, as she saw sheet music in Quinn's hand being passed to 'the moment killer, or erm...you know...Brad...'

"You made it!" The excitement upon Quinn's face was enough to melt any ice queen to tears, and right now Rachel was trying to enjoy the time alone with Quinn rather than focusing on how she wanted to release some tears of her own. -Tears mainly to be cried at the thought of knowing she was here to help Quinn and Puck fall even further in love with each other. 'Oh joy'

"So I was hoping we could start as soon as? I'll begin and you join in?"

"Yeah erm, no, yes that sounds like a good way to start Quinn" Rachel smiled through bittering teeth as she hated the way Quinn could not only make time stand still, but also reverse her years of intense vocabulary preparation. But Quinn soon snapped Rachel back down to the stage as she took her hand and led the dumbfounded girl to the piano, releasing her next to Brad and the sheet music, before then walking to face Rachel on the other side of the black piano. She smiled at Rachel hoping to ease the strangely nervous girl and ignored the unsettling feeling of panic in her chest.

-'It's just being on stage with Rachel, yeah. I mean, it's a little intimidating, no wonder my heart feels like it's going to burst! Yeah...intimidation, that's all...'

Rachel stood nervously twitching her sweating palms as the stunning beauty facing her, nodded to Brad and the band and embraced the melody that was conjured.

Whatever it was, it sounded beautiful, familiar, and yet completely suited to Quinn's free nature. The melody was calming a light...un-caged yet poetic. 'Like Quinn'

_We've only ever kissed lying down_

_We've only ever touched_

_When there's no one else around_

_I can be elusive_

_If you want me to_

_I'm not being intrusive_

_I just wish I knew the truth_

_As to why_

_I wait for you_

_Longer than the average person would_

_And why_

_I think about you_

_More than I think one should_

Rachel knew the sound was familiar. It was the song she cried to in her car as she drove to the billboard last week. The song the radio summoned that perfectly captured her feelings of need and desire for Quinn. -And here was Quinn... singing the same song, only for someone else. It was a cruel and twisted interpretation of fate, that left the singer, raw with emotion and dying to be heard.

Quinn's voice perfectly flowed to the tone of the song, and as the Blonde danced around the piano she span one last time to smile with genuine warmth at Rachel before skipping away to dance her song in the spotlight and heart of the stage.

_Our bodies fit together_

_Like a make-shift puzzle_

_And it's clear to see why you puzzle me_

_And you turn your frame_

_And you whisper my name_

_As though I am a burden_

_Cause I'm making up for lost time_

_And I'm making up for you_

_And I'm waking up from last night_

_And I'm waking up with you_

_So what's new?_

_So what's new?_

As the first chorus drew to a close Quinn stood motionless on the stage, basking in the energy and electricity she could feel bursting within her, and as the introduction to the next verse began she closed her eyes and awaited an angels sound.

_I am at your house_

_So I belong to you for now_

_Trying to impress you_

_But lord I don't know how_

_I can be a statue_

_If you want me to_

_I'm not being difficult_

_I just need to know the truth_

Quinn remained standing forward to face the empty audience as she turned her head slightly, opening her eyes to see Rachel walking towards her, leaving the comfort of the piano behind.

'She doesn't need the music, wait...she knows the song?' Quinn baffled as Rachel began to dance behind her, seeming to explode raw feeling from her voice and her eyes that remained locked on Quinn. To Quinn, Rachel seemed to really be meaning the words she sang, and in all honestly she looked radiant, stunning and quite frankly...Rachel looked 'beautiful'. As the magic of the memory of Rachel's song at Christmas time seemed to haunt the auditorium, the piano faded and all that remained, were the two souls and the tinted blue spotlight they shined under.

_As to why_

_I'm wanting you_

_And I would take you if I could_

_And why I'm still here_

_It's something I still haven't understood_

Rachel seemed to surround Quinn in that moment. Her voice entrapping her heart form every angle as her lungs danced the air of the words sung. It was magical, beautiful and everything Quinn had hoped for when she asked Rachel to help her connect to this song that spoke to her deeply.

But what Quinn Fabray never expected was how she would feel when Rachel Berry did what she did best and stepped up the performance, acting out the words she sang with such sincerity and feeling, Quinn almost believed Rachel was no longer acting.

Fingers sparked as Rachel's grazed Quinn's tenderly from behind, as she slowly began to trace Quinn's shape, almost swearing she could feel the other girls breathing deepen as she did. Almost swearing she could feel Quinn gasp as the magnitude of chemistry between them that burned Rachel's soul with every glance and lingering smile sent her way. Rachel's confidence, and with it, her voice grew, as she swore she could feel Quinn's heartbeat pounding at her touch.

_Our hands rest together_

_Like pieces of paper_

_But they're always blank_

_When I hold your hand_

_And it gave you a fright_

_When I stayed the night_

_And you gave yourself to me_

_Cause I'm making up for lost time_

_And I'm making up for you_

_And I'm waking up from last night_

_And I'm waking up with you_

_So what's new?_

_So what's new?_

The music began to slowly die down as Rachel finished her chorus. Releasing her hold on Quinn as she did so, simply standing behind like the ghost she felt she had become, watching over her grace and perfection. Soon all that was left was the piano and a single violin, as Quinn shook the feeling of a haunted love consuming her fragile and tainted body. The Blonde inhaled sharply before slowly walking forward to sit on the edge of the stage, with Rachel stood, watching over her, as they both harmonized.

_It's not the end_

_It's not the end_

_So don't lets pretend_

Now as the violin and piano faded, all that remained, was the sad tune of a cello, playing the broken love melody as Rachel ignored the pain in her chest and frozen waterfalls, streaming down her cheeks as she stepped forward and took her place, sat beside Quinn at the front of the stage with their legs dangling. She turned to look at the Blonde only to see Quinn was to far lost in her own emotions to seem to acknowledge Rachel's presence.

As the cello slowed it's melody for the final verse, Rachel stiffened upon the realization Quinn had decided to rest her head against Rachel's shoulder, whilst clinging on to her right arm with both hands, craving comfort as her own tears began to pain her eyes. The two shared a moment of true harmony. True harmony as they feared the end of the song, and the moment the cello would cease to play. But what neither of them knew as they finished the song, was that the other was dreading the exact same sense of the inevitable loneliness the end of the song would bring.

_Cause I'm making up for lost time_

_And I'm making up for you_

_And I'm waking up from last night_

_And I'm making up for you_

_So what's new?_

_So what's new?_

_So what's new?_

* * *

><p><em>One Week Later<em>

In her hand, she clung on to a copy of John Green's 'Looking For Alaska'. It was times like this she needed to remember even when on paper you should be happy, sometimes life just doesn't work like that. Sometimes, you have to dig deeper. In the search for answers you will tend to find you've been searching for yourself along the way. Or at least this is what Quinn had trained herself to believe. It is what she trained herself to cling on to whenever she would start to question herself again. And right now, well, now was a time Quinn found herself questioning a lot of things.

As the diva entered her haven she inhaled the meaningful air and took gratitude in the knowledge that this was perhaps the one place she would always be safe from her emotions. It had been a week since she had held Quinn as she cried, a week since she found she had fallen deeper into something she now knew she had absolutely no control over. She had spoken to Quinn, the next day despite her best efforts, the Blonde seemed determined to make her offer of friendship a statement she would stand by. It had started on Monday morning when as the slushie appeared before her. Naturally she closed her eyes and prepared herself for a frozen blast, but instead, she opened her eyes to an amused Quinn Fabray who claimed she had bought her a frozen refreshment when she purchased herself one this morning.

This was a ritual (this and sitting side by side at lunch everyday), that had survived until Thursday. It was during the Thursday morning slushie, that Quinn had confided to Rachel she planed to perform the song to Puck later that evening. So it was Thursday that Rachel avoided Quinn at lunch, swallowing yet more steps of sadness at the thought of the moment she had believed they had shared being tainted.

But now it was Friday, and Rachel told herself she promised she wouldn't intentionally hurt Quinn, so she waited by her locker in the morning rather than continuing her avoidance. But as the clock ticked by and the Cheerleader never showed, Rachel found she was beginning to regret her decision to avoid Quinn the previous day. -Had something happened? Could she have helped her?

But now, well now it was her free period, Quinn had been a no-show at lunch as well, and Rachel had dissected far to many innocent carrots with her spork as a result. So the diva concluded she needed to clear her head. She needed to be free to breathe, and she knew only one place she could do that freely. -To some it was McKinley High's library, but to Rachel, it served as a solitude from slushie facials, cruel taunts and crushed dreams.

As she browsed through the musical theatre section, looking for any knew additions to the schools collection, she found her fingers halting as her mind flashed back to earlier this week when she asked Quinn what the deal with her and Puck and their books was.

_"Everyone has that place, the place they run to when reality is too harsh to stand. Well, mine was always books, it started with the classics, romances and tragedies. But, as I started to need my escape more and more, I realized that if I ever wanted to find a way back to reality, I would need a book to help me do that, more specifically, I find one book in particular helps"._

'John Green, she said John Green'... Rachel found her fingers tracing unknown territory as they explored the fiction section of the library. Somewhere Rachel had personally deemed 'a waste for those with a lacking ability to handle the natural surrounding of human nature'. -Technically seeing as how lately she was unable to focus on anything in particular, Rachel figure she now fit that category unfortunately well. It was as she turned the corner of the aisle of 'F-I', the singer stopped at the sound of a muffled sobbing.

The Brunette cautiously turned the corner, mentally chastising herself for being unable to stop meddling and leave people alone. 'This is why Santana enjoys throwing coloured ice in your face. You never saw Barbara getting involved with Brad and Jen when they broke up!'

-"Quinn?"

The Blonde lifted her head to see the Diva standing at the beginning of the aisle, brows furrowed and voice laced with concern as she stared at the fallen girl clutching on to her book.

"Hi, Rachel, erm I was just..."

Without hesitation Rachel swiftly found herself sitting on the floor next to Quinn, putting her own complications aside to help the breaking girl.

-"You were just trying to get good phone reception?" the Brunette smiled, as the Blonde chuckled and attempted to frantically wipe away her tears. Tears of a weak, broken girl.

But as she tried she was stopped by two tanned hands grasping her porcelain fingers. Slowly lowering Quinn's hands to free her eyes to lock with her own, Rachel began to carefully brush away Quinn's tears as they fell.

Quinn's hands had retreated from Rachel's hands, and were now lightly clutching the singers wrists for support, and determination to keep the warm electricity them seemed to share close to her.

"Quinn, what's this about exactly? -You know, phone reception aside?"

The Blonde quickly removed her hands from Rachel's and returned them to her lap, pulling away from the singers fingertips as she did so.

"It's nothing... I guess..."

-'You guess what Quinn, you shouldn't be like this, why is everything breaking so easily when you so carefully put it back together. You never had a chance'

-"I guess it finally hit me that Puck leaves next week". Rachel inhaled a sharp sting of air and then leaned back against the books herself, trying to stay on track and not put her own feelings first for once. But something about the way Quinn had frantically pulled away from the singer was off, almost as if she wasn't telling the entire truth. But Rachel also knew, that love makes people crazy, and they imagine things that aren't truly there and..'love? Is that what this is?'

"Did the song you sang him not help at all?" Rachel pulled from the back of her throat trying viciously to be a good 'friend' to the girl beside her.

"I couldn't go through with it". -At first Rachel thought she had imagined the shy confession to the right of her, but as she turned her head to see Quinn lift hers, she found for once, nothing but sincere honesty dancing amongst those gold flecks of hazel eyes.

-"If I did, it felt like I was tainting the memory we shared when we sang. -I couldn't do it". Rachel was taken aback at the unnerving confession, knowing even if it wasn't romantic for her, Quinn had felt something when they sang too. Quinn on the other hand returned to leaning her head against the shelves as more bitterly frozen tears fell.

The two girls sat in a cold silence that should have been an awkward and frigid one, but instead, they felt oddly used to this arrangement of openly raw and tender feelings surrounding each other. After several minutes passed, the singer looked to the book aside of Quinn and smiled knowing the Cheerleader had meant it when she said it was one she read a lot, the book that helped bring her back to reality. After seeing the book she was shocked to see her her body took it upon itself to react, seeming to know exactly what Quinn needed at this point in time.

The Blonde's breathing stiffened as she felt a calm and reassuring set of fingers entwining with her own, but as if she herself had no control, she found her deep breaths becoming steady ones, as she turned to stare into those dark eyes once more.

"Close your eyes Quinn", Rachel's voice was soft, yet determined. The singer knew what Quinn needed, she needed to escape knowing she had the power to choose when she came back down. She needed Rachel to catch her when she fell, and right now, the girl was hurtling to the ground.

Quinn found her eyelids slipping shut as she embraced the feeling of Rachel's fingers of security, calming her hysteria. And as her breathing mellowed, she heard Rachel's voice speak the words she didn't realize her body had ached for all her life...

_"Close your eyes. Allow yourself to see nothing but the darkness. Now, cover your ears. Do you hear that? Nothing. Nothing but echoing sound of silence, only interrupted by the beating of the muscle in your chest, and your deep, shallow breaths. It's as if finally, all your worries, all your pain, and all the chaos the world surrounds you with; just fades away. Leaving you standing, alone, in a beautiful dark silence of a litany._

_As far as your concerned in this place, nothing will touch you. Nothing will hurt you, and more importantly, there is only you. Everything and everyone that you know is ceases to exist here. As far as your concerned there is only you, you and these brief moments of calm before you allow yourself to sail straight back into the storm. You have to take this moment of secluded serenity, and put this moment back into perspective. You have just a few moments before you have to uncover your eyes and open your eyes to tragedy before you, so you need to savor them while you can, think of those you adore, and those you love, let them hold your hand. Remember that touch one last time before you open your eyes and risk losing it forever._

_Now…open your eyes."_

As Quinn slowly reopened her eyes, she found they were no longer brimmed with cold, icy tears. She found that her breathing no longer ached her chest, and she found that Rachel, as always, had succeeded in catching her once again. The painful memory of flashes of that nightmare that haunted her, placed firmly to the back of her mind. A nightmare that was simply a dream, that frightened her by the way her body had reacted. A nightmare locked away.

"Rachel I don't know what to..."

-"Then don't Quinn" Rachel smiled softly as her fingers continued to stead Quinn's. "Don't say anything, just know one thing, can you do this Quinn?" The Blonde nodded unconsciously as her eyes locked onto brown that was beginning to show a shadow of hurt within it. A shadow she knew Rachel was hiding, a shadow she knew better than to ask of right now.

-"When the world is dressed in black and white, I can always see the colour, with my eyes closed tight". Quinn smiled and blinked away the last of her tears as the end of period bell rang, trying to decipher the effect Rachel had on her, while Rachel returned the smile before escaping the tempting and delicious warmth of Quinn's hand, and willed herself not to cry as she stood and swallowed unbearable wanting so she could smile to the Blonde and say..."Now let's get you to class!"

* * *

><p><em>(The night before)<em>

Mr Schuester had spent the last two and a half years training each and every member of his glee club to learn to dream big. To dream big and to reach out to grab it. Mike Chang had dreamed of dance and not Harvard medicine- after an uphill battle, he was finally winning. Kurt Hummel had dreamed of getting into NYADA with Rachel, after what seemed like an impossible hope, fate appeared to be on his side. Rory Flanagan believed in living the American dream, Brittney...gay unicorns, and Santana Lopez... well, Santana dreamed of one day marrying the love of her life Britney, only 'tell anyone that and she would murder the writer of this story!' The Glee kids ran off their dreams, it what saved them from the provincial lives the rest of McKinley's students would no doubt end up in. But this night, one of the Glee students, was experiencing a dream that not only thrilled and excited her, but terrified her to the bone. A new dream that would complete question the current dream she had spent so long achieving.

As she tossed and turned, sweat ran down the young Blonde's forehead, her body reacting to the intense stimulus it was feeling.

_'As the Blonde felt the surge of the wall slamming against her back, she felt no pain... only an overwhelming darkened lust for the one before her. Without hesitation, her finger coyly teased them close with a single eyebrow raise and a smirk full of dark, endless hazel eyes. Her porcelain fingers passionately clawed their way into the others hair, holding the wild perpetrator still as she smashed their lips together once more. Quinn felt a tongue slowly tease at her lips begging for entry to which she found her mouth more than eager to open for. As tongues met, the two bodies pushed and crawled, desperate to feel every part of each other, desperate to breathe only each other. Quin found her lover suddenly throwing her from the wall as she flew onto the bed behind them. She tried valiantly to pull herself together in the few seconds she had before her lover took over her body once more, but the second she felt a pair of lips brushing their way up the inside of her leg, she knew she was lost already. Just as the other reached their destination, hands scratching at the cheerleaders abs and mouth just reaching the top of her inner thigh, the other stopped abruptly. Quinn found herself suddenly cold, with a radiating chemistry just centimeters away. Just as she was about to sit up and reach for the warm body, the sound of a small soft voice sounded from before her._

_"I can't believe you finally found me..."_

_The strange confession confused the Blonde, she had always known them, sure she had never decided to passionately run to their house, storm into their bedroom and attempt to make love with them, but hey you know..._

_"I mean, you actually saw me. And you didn't run."_

_"Wait what are you saying?" Quinn found a strange sense of nausea wavering over her as her lustful skin seemed to be screaming at her to listen._

_"Quinn... You have no idea how much I've wanted this. Just to be able to finally touch you, and feel you" the voice responded, as their fingers slowly made their way up Quinn's sides; kissing their path to memory as they went._

_"Just knowing I can finally be with you. Quinn you have no idea how much I want you."_

_"Then show me..." was the Blonde's only response as she pulled them forward and smashed their soft lips together, tangling their limbs as she explored soft tanned skin and searched through long dark hair and fingers desperately cupped breasts and..._

_Quinn started to have the small nausea expanding as things started to feel to surreal, something was wrong, really wrong about this entire arrangement and she could feel the walls closing in on both her body's and the situations inevitable climax. She pushed her lover away and looked at their broken and confused face. Just as soon as she did, horror struck her and Quinn wished she could just wake up from this nightmare._

_"Quinn?" they said, tears brimming dark eyes. But Quinn could only respond with her mortifying realization, the only word running through her mind. The last thing she would say before waking up from this discovery..._

_-"Rachel?"'_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Oh wow did I just... oh...LOL, I did didn't I...yup it's cause I'm awesome. -You know, taking forever to upload and then cliffhanging again. It's because I'm amazing no? -Or possibly just deluded and incredibly egotistical.<em>**

**_ Okay poke, so thank you for your comments so far, I won't list names but two of you have massively changed later outcomes with your suggestions!_**

**_Oh one more thing, you've probably figured it out, but all the chapter titles are songs, like for example this one is 'To Be Alone With You' by Sufjan Stevens, anyhoo the songs are always relevant and by great artists. So try listening to them as you read, you know... for dramatic effect? =)  
><em>**

**_Songs Used:_**

**_'About A Girl' by The Summer Set & 'The End' by Ellie Goulding.  
><em>**


	9. Total Eclipse Of The Heart

_**Chapter Eight- Total Eclipse of the Heart**_

_February (Senior Year)_

'It sounds cliché but every life, comes with a list of crossroads, a build up of choices that define us all into who we become. -A number of interruptions, and with them, a choice, can drastically change one life. Be it a college acceptance letter to the place you applied to on a whim, never dreaming you would ever be accepted. -Or perhaps the opportunity to fight for your love, or begin to consider another. Some choices come down to the introduction of a single object: a letter, a package… a ring.

Looking back on my not so long life I found I still managed to have a number of choices to make. Choices that I would go on to question and not know if they were right, or if I had just thrown away my only escape, or an opportunity of a lifetime.

-I was eighteen when I died. I was eighteen when I saw the light; literally they flashed around me and were the last thing I saw before my eyes faded to black. -Okay, bad attempt at black comedy I know.

But the point is, I was also eighteen when I had my one true moment of clarity, I got the opportunity to look back on my major decisions and realize, that while at the time I made them full of doubt... I was able to move on knowing I didn't regret a single one of them, well except maybe one. -Although that was an incident that wouldn't happen until the month I died, and at this point of reflection of my life, well; at this point that decision hasn't occurred yet.

With every life comes choice, and with every choice; comes consequences. Whether it be as a result of a letter, a package, or a ring... or simply the decision not to look back and see what had been right in front of you the whole time.'

* * *

><p>As he repositioned his hat once more, this time the young man straightened his back and took in his appearance in the mirror. He seemed to be focusing less on his uniform, and more on the doorway visible behind him through the mirror. He took cautious breaths and pursed his lips before glancing down at his watch one last time, as the minutes past and rain pattered against the window, Noah found himself beginning to question her showing at all. 'She has to show, she just has to' he rehearsed through his mind, as once again he repositioned his hat and his brows furrowed as he reattempted to straighten out his uniform.<p>

-"You realize you can't get the creases out of something that has no creases Puckerman?" Noah turned around to see Santana leaning in the doorway, a rare but genuine concerned expression on her face.

"Something just seems off about this jacket, is it on right? Or do I need to..."

-"She'll show". The Latina interjected as she approached the young man, and maneuvered his tie one last time before brushing off his shoulders.

"I know Quinn, and she's panicking... but she'll show. She always shows" Santana tried to reassure the stressed young recruit, but found her words coming as little comfort as she looked into his sleep deprived eyes.

"I really screwed up didn't I?" he spoke, staring into the eyes of the one other person in this school he knew believed in brutal honesty, even when it caused her to have so many enemies.

-"Freaked her with reality, maybe. Scared her so bad her Mom called me wondering whether she was on narcotics, perhaps" Santana laughed as she attempted to calm the lost soul.

-"But Puck, as much as I hate finally admitting it... there's something about you two, and no one seems to be able to compete". The Latina paused, carefully mulling over her own words before pushing aside her own doubts and confirming her own beliefs in her best friend, "She'll show".

Puck smiled weakly before muttering thanks and enveloping the dark raven haired girl into a hug, releasing her as a knock on the doorway sounded.

"I hate to say this, but if we don't leave now Dude, you'll miss your bus. We can't wait any longer". Finn stood offering another sympathetic smile as he walked over and patted Puck on the back. As Finn and Santana exited his room, Noah Puckerman took one last look around the room he had called home for the last eighteen years. Picking up his sports bag of possessions, he took in one last deep breath before reaching into his pocket and placing an envelope on his bed next to a small brown package. Releasing one last breath, and with it his fears and dreams being put on hold, as he turned and said goodbye to his home and Lima Ohio.

* * *

><p>As she tried to ignore the pain in her chest, Quinn found her tears feeling like icicles against her skin. The clock seemed to taunt her, as every second ticked by slower than the last. Her mother had given up on her already. -Her own mother had gone to say goodbye an hour ago when she, the love of his life, couldn't even bring herself to stand from the couch.<p>

Her mind raced with conflict, on one hand she longed to rush to the bus station, embrace Puck and beg him to stay. On the other hand, she knew seeing Puck, meant giving him an answer, something that choked her to even think about. She knew her answer, her body screamed it at her, it kicked her legs to run to him and kiss him. But her entire upbringing, and her platinum built walls of an emotional fortress where claiming her in place.

'Why can't I do it? Run, if you run, you might still make it, RUN! -He doesn't deserve this; he'll think you've abandoned him. QUINN! QUINN! QUINN!'

"Quinn?" -that voice didn't sound as though it came from her head.

-That voice sounded as though it came from the living room doorway.

-That voice sounded like, "Quinn?"

As the Cheerleader lifted her tear stained face and connected her sleep deprived eyes with the voices source, she saw Rachel Berry standing there in black tights, a black leotard and tutu, complete with ballet shoes -her outfit covered by a baggy, white sweatshirt. Her make up was minimal, and her hair was loosely curled over her shoulders. The image before her was surreal to say the least.

"Rachel? What are you doing here?" Quinn managed to muster through a tired and hoarse whimper of a voice.

"I came to stop you making a mistake, but no one answered and the door was unlocked and I..." -the diva stopped mid sentence as her dark eyes flickered down to Quinn's trembling hands. Quinn knew Rachel had seen, she was about to explain when the diva cut her off in a voice sounding weaker and more shell-shocked than her own.

-"Quinn, please tell me what that is on your finger?"

* * *

><p><em>(The Night Before)<em>

"You look freezing, here..." The tall boy attempted to wrap his own jacket around the girls shivering, fragile frame.

"Puck, I'm a big girl... I can mana..."

-"Here". Puck cut the cheerleader quickly off, refusing to allow her the privilege of being her usual stubborn self as he wrapped her up tightly before taking her hand once again. Quinn looked up to him and pondered at the change he had shown in such a short time, he was finally becoming the man she needed him to be when she had discovered her pregnancy two years ago.

The two walked through the icy cold snow, and past the metal railings as Puck jokingly gave her a step up to climb over them.

"Not that I don't love spontaneity in you Puck, but why are you taking me to the football field on our last night?" Puck turned to discover Quinn had stopped at the side of the white covered football field, refusing to proceed until he explained why he had dragged her out here.

"Well? You can't honestly expect me to carry on freezing to death until I know why I'm putting up with the ice cold death ahead of me!"

Puck chuckled at the floor, in both utter disbelief of Quinn's relentless stubborn nature, and in utter disbelief at how madly in love with her he was in this very moment.

"Quit laughing! This isn't a joke Puckerman! Tell me why or I leave right now!"

As she conveyed her point by stomping her foot aggressively into the snow, Puck found himself unable to fight back the burst of laughter that tackled him. Quinn stood there angrily folding her arms as she waited for his immaturity to subside. But found her angry glare quickly softening into curiosity as Puck began to smirk and march towards her with purpose.

"Puck, wait... Puck what are you-AHHH!" Quinn screamed and kicked as Puck swooped her into his arms and carried her across the field.

-"You can't complain, you're not cold as you have both my jacket and arms around you. Not to mention you don't have to walk anymore" he chuckled as she stopped resisting and just looked up to him in both annoyance and awe. How did he always simultaneously test her patience and push her buttons, but test it and push them just enough?

As they reached the snow-covered bleachers Puck slowly graced Quinn to the floor, his arms staying protectively around her as she looked up to him with nothing but adoration and excitement in her eyes.

As Puck leaned down and lips met lips, Quinn marveled at how just the graze of his lips on hers, managed to warm her entire body in this bitterly cold setting they were in. Puck pulled away and released Quinn, leaving her standing on the spot as he began to excitedly climb the bleachers.

"Puck?" Quinn gasped, as she struggled to understand why a boy would leave her at the bottom of the bleachers rather than proceed to make out with her.

Puck climbed up to the railings and then turned around and smiled back down to her.

"Recognize this place?"

"Well I'm pretty sure it's the football field of the school I go too..." Quinn scoffed sarcastically.

"No!" He bellowed down to her, "This scenario, this positioning this setting?" He excitedly waved his arms around as he attempted to get through to the Blonde.

Quinn found her eyes wandering the bleachers, field, school in the background and then returned her gaze to the man standing far above her...

"Honestly?" She shouted.

"Honestly!" Puck grinned.

"Honestly I think I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to communicate with me here Puckerman".

Puck through his hands in the air through desperation as he laughed aloud to the night sky.

"This, right here... is where I first saw you Quinn!" As he spoke her name his eyes dropped from the stars and back into the hazel blurs at the bottom of the bleachers.

Quinn dropped her expression completely, baffled at what Puck was saying,

"Puck I've known you since we were in preschool" -again she found her fear of intimacy shining through a sarcastic driven reply.

"No, I mean... I'd seen you all my life" Puck began as his own excited expression suddenly changed into one of sincerity.

"I'd seen you countless times, but here..." Puck pointed to the spot he stood in, "Here; was where I sat during the first football game Freshman year as you cheered your first game".

Quinn gaped at the boy's memory, and found her emotions overtaking her body's shivers from the cold, as the hairs on her neck stood up out of excitement.

"Here was where I was sat, where the Titans won, and you stopped mid celebration and looked back to me in the crowd and smiled at me" Puck smiled full of warmth at the memory as Quinn found her own mind tracing back to that day, and beginning to smile her own fond smile of reminiscence.

"I'd had seen you countless times, Quinn. -But I'd never actually 'seen' you".

Quinn held back her tears as she bit her lip and quickly ducked her head out of embarrassment, only to look up to see Puck slowly walking back down the bleachers.

"Quinn, you were so... you were beautiful" he finished as he stood before her smiling softly as he gazed into the eyes of the girl who stole his heart.

"I decided right there and then to join the team so I could be closer to you..."

They both shared a shy grin of embarrassment at the confession.

"Quinn..." He took her gloved hands into his own and smirked at his own behavior, the behavior of someone head over heals for the person before them.

"Quinn, this was the place I first saw you."

Quinn watched as he wiped a tear from her eye before regaining her hands.

-"Quinn, this was the place I first fell in love with you."

Quinn found her heart still as Puck dropped on to his knee and gazed up at her through loves clouded vision.

"Quinn... this is where I decided that on this night, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you".

As he reached into his trouser pocket to produce a small black box, Quinn found her lungs filling with icy air as they failed to breathe.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray", Puck stated as he opened the box and removed its content.

"I know we're young..." Puck carefully removed the glove from Quinn's hand as she stood unable to process the moment.

"But I know what I want... I want you" He finished as he slipped the silver band onto her finger as the tears spilled from her eyes, blurring the overwhelming moment.

"Quinn... Marry me."

* * *

><p><em>(The Next Day)<em>

Fingers curled through long locks of Brown hair as she attempted to run the serum through it in preparation for this evenings performance. Eyelashes flickered as they ran themselves through carefully brushed mascara. Finally tanned hands placed a stray strand of raven hair behind an ear as Rachel Berry stood back from the mirror and took in her reflection.

The young diva stood in everything from ballet pumps to leotard and a small black tutu, as her hair flowed across her shoulders. Rachel had considered tying it in a bun already, but remembered a minor detour she would be making on the way to her Ballet class' dress rehearsal of this evenings showcase performance.

She registered the fact that while it was key to be dressed and ready to begin rehearsal the second she got there, she also registered that she would be seen in broad daylight, and could not risk becoming even more of a fashion reject by her peers of Lima, Ohio.

Rachel grabbed a baggy white sweatshirt she wore for her morning Pilates session earlier that day, and threw it on before getting her keys, bidding goodbye to her fathers and setting off out the door to her car.

As she turned the key in the ignition Rachel told herself this was the right thing to do. Noah had been there for her on countless occasions, no questions asked. Just because she envied the love he possessed didn't take away the fact that he deserved a goodbye from everyone he cared about before he was shipped out later that afternoon.

'He deserves this, he deserves her' was all she could tell herself as she swallowed the choke in her throat and ignored the pain in her chest telling her to simply head straight to rehearsals instead. Rachel had toyed with the idea for over seven sleep deprived nights now, and it was only last night, as she remembered the message she had recently graced the Ohio billboard with, that she confirmed she needed to do this. Quinn told her last week that she would never sing any of the songs they had sang with anybody else as it ruins the memory. Rachel had at least the memories Quinn had blessed her with, and she had accepted that this was as good as it would ever get for her. She needed to move on, she needed to be the better person, she needed to say goodbye to a friend who had always been there for her when she needed him.

As Rachel pulled up Puck's driveway, she found there was several cars already there, it seemed people had already been doing there bit to spend time with Noah before he departed to become a hero. She stepped out of the car and slowly approached his front door, repeating to herself that she was doing the right thing, as though it were a mantra.

Before the small Brunette was able to knock on the door it swung open for her as Mrs Puckerman embraced her in a tight hug.

"Oh Rachel, my dear Bubeleh! -You came for Noah!" The pint-sized diva lost the air from her lungs as she dumbly nodded into the tight embrace of Noah's mother.

"Dressed for your recital I see? Sorry we can't be there to cheer with your fathers, if Noah wasn't leaving us you know I would" The older woman chatted as she released Rachel from her bone crushing embrace.

"Thank you Mrs Puckerman, it means a lot" Rachel fumbled in response. -While she had always got on well with Noah's family, she never could get over how intimidating his mother was, the woman was the perfect Jew. 'Noah had to get his pride from somewhere' she had always figured. Mrs Puckerman, unintentionally always made Rachel feel she had to try harder to be a better Jew, 'maybe she would take on more shifts at the soup kitchen?'

-"Noah's just upstairs honey, he was a little overwhelmed by all his family visiting, but I'm sure he'd be grateful to see you Bubeleh, he always did have a soft spot for you!" Rachel thanked the woman again before proceeding upstairs. As she climbed the stairs she heard Mrs Puckerman open the door to the living room where an outcry of voices could be heard...'No wonder Noah was overwhelmed' she figured.

As she slowly pushed open the door to Noah's room, Rachel was shocked to see the boy slumped on his bed with a pillow against his face, and items thrown around the room for a clear moment of rage.

"NOAH!" The sound of her voice startled the young recruit as he jumped and his pillow fell to the floor. -"You'll crease your uniform lying around like that! Not to mention your room seems worse than usual, I don't recall a smashed cabinet last time I was here.." The more she took in, the more Rachel's voice trailed off as she eventually ceased talking altogether.

Something was off, something was wrong... and by the look in Noah's tired and tear-worn eyes, 'Something happened' Rachel concluded.

"Noah...what on earth happened? You're supposed to leave in an hour..."

Rachel's eyes were received with a look of desperation, as her friend stared defeated and ashamed...

"I ruined everything."

-"Noah what do you mean 'ruined everything? Is this about you having second thoughts about leaving? Is this about your family?" Rachel picked at any sources she knew had the power to do this to the boy before her, but as Noah looked to the floor, where a photo of him and Quinn lay, surrounded by its smashed frame, she found she already knew the cause to his crippling demise.

"Has Quinn come to say goodbye yet?" Noah looked to Rachel with a devastating look of sadness in his eyes as he mustered the words he needed to admit.

"She won't be coming back."

"Why?" At this crossroads Rachel found herself obliged to help Noah despite everything that had happened over the last year the would suggest this would be an awful position to put herself in. -Did she really want to throw herself in the middle of the two star crossed lovers and allow her heart the vulnerability to shatter altogether?

The diva stared in silence as Noah sat forward and looked to his feet as a hollow tear fell, "Because I scared her away... she can't handle that kind of pressure, I know better than that" As he began to wallow further in self pity Rachel approached him on the bed and pulled him into a fierce hug.

"She'll show Noah, I'll find out where she is... she'll show" -Rachel said the words of comfort to Noah she knew he needed to hear, but the truth was she knew she needed to make the promise for her own selfish reasons. Something had happened to Quinn, and despite her mind screaming at her not to, she knew she would have to check she was at least okay before she could perform tonight.

Puck pulled away and looked to her before smiling subtly. "You can be annoying. You can be crazy, and dam near psychotic at times... but for some bizarre reason, there isn't anyone else who I would want here right now saying those words Rach".

Rachel chuckled at his typical black humor, and hugged him once more before quickly whispering into his ear, "Please don't be a hero Noah... people still need you here".

-Rachel had originally made a promise for her own selfish reasons, but in that moment, she found she made a plea full of nothing but genuine concern and purity.

* * *

><p>As her fingers gripped into the steering wheel, her dark eyes focused on the road ahead of her, and with her mind set on doing what had to be done; Rachel drove her car in the opposite direction to her Ballet dress rehearsal that started in just 10 minutes. She would never make it, she'd probably lose her role and her understudy would take over. What Rachel Barbara Berry was currently doing was the type of career jeopardizing stupidity she prized herself on lecturing her peers about. She knew better, but Rachel also knew she would never be able to perform the way she needed to when her mind was racing this fast. She needed to put things right, she needed to meddle where she didn't belong just one last time and maybe she would finally be able to move on once and for all.<p>

'I'm an idiot'.

-Rachel knew it well.

* * *

><p>As she tried to ignore the pain in her chest, Quinn found her tears feeling like icicles against her skin. The clock seemed to taunt her, as every second ticked by slower than the last. Her mother had given up on her already. -Her own mother had gone to say goodbye an hour ago when she, the love of his life, couldn't even bring herself to stand from the couch.<p>

Her mind raced with conflict, on one hand she longed to rush to the bus station, embrace Puck and beg him to stay. On the other hand, she knew seeing Puck, meant giving him an answer, something that choked her to even think about. She knew her answer, her body screamed it at her, it kicked her legs to run to him and kiss him. But her entire upbringing, and her platinum built walls of an emotional fortress where claiming her in place.

'Why can't I do it? Run, if you run, you might still make it, RUN! -He doesn't deserve this; he'll think you've abandoned him. QUINN! QUINN! QUINN!'

"Quinn?" -that voice didn't sound as though it came from her head.

-That voice sounded as though it came from the living room doorway.

-That voice sounded like, "Quinn?"

As the Cheerleader lifted her tear stained face and connected her sleep deprived eyes with the voices source, she saw Rachel Berry standing there in black tights, a black leotard and tutu, complete with ballet shoes -her outfit covered by a baggy, white sweatshirt. Her make up was minimal, and her hair was loosely curled over her shoulders. The image before her was surreal to say the least.

"Rachel? What are you doing here?" Quinn managed to muster through a tired and hoarse whimper of a voice.

"I came to stop you making a mistake, but no one answered and the door was unlocked and I..." -the diva stopped mid sentence as her dark eyes flickered down to Quinn's trembling hands. Quinn knew Rachel had seen, she was about to explain when the diva cut her off in a voice sounding weaker and more shell-shocked than her own.

-"Quinn, please tell me what that is on your finger?"

* * *

><p><em>(The Night Before)<em>

Quinn had spent the last few seconds, or maybe even minutes, frozen to the spot as her tears fell and Puck knelt before her, awaiting a response as his own eyes teared up with suspense and anticipation for her reply.

Her body ached to fall into his embrace, mold itself with his, and assure him she wanted nothing more than to be with him for eternity.

But her head, was toying with her heart, as it froze her in time, bellowing how 'this is way too soon, this is too much, I can't do this I-'

"I..." Quinn found the strength to muster, through tear filled eyes and a croaking voice, "I need time"

Puck's hope filled expression softened, as his previously held back tears began to fall as a horrible clenching in his chest told him he had ruined everything; as his love began to back away from him, trembling her words.

"Puck I..." Quinn found herself unable to hold back her chocked sob as the tears burnt her skin through the cold of the night as she finished, "I'm so sorry..."

-"QUINN!" His voice was a wasted effort, by the time Noah Puckerman had risen to his feet, his love had ran halfway across the football field, fleeing into the night.

He had ruined it.

He had scared her away.

He blew it.

As he stared at his jacket that fallen from her shoulders, and on to the cold hard floor, before looking back up with tear filled pain at the girl fleeing from his love... Noah Puckerman had only three words running through his mind.

'I've lost her'.

* * *

><p>The silver band constricted itself around a beautiful porcelain finger, and the small white stone it contained sparkled purity through the air... yet all Rachel Berry could feel was a tainted heart, crushing hopes she thought she had buried behind her. She wanted to know. She wanted this. She asked for this. Yet as Quinn looked to her with tears streaming from her perfect eyes she stood as a frozen corpse, unable to run to the aid of the one she longed for as Quinn pleaded a broken cry.<p>

"Rachel... I broke everything".

Quinn sat crippled by the weight of emotions she couldn't understand or even begin to decipher, desperate for an angel to save her. She was still in her clothes from the night before, her flowery dress highlighting her angelic Blonde grace, but her tears showing the angel had clipped her wings.

-Rachel needed to run, she needed to tear out the world she knew and live a life of solitude... She should of focused on only her career as she had originally planned, she should of never dated Finn, as she would never have become so surrounded by Quinn, and she should have listened to Sam the second things got too intimate. She should have never approached the Blonde angel that day in the park all those years ago.

But as she tried to turn around, she found that once again her timekeeper had her chained against her will. Quinn's hazels eyes tied her feet to the room.

"Rachel... I don't think I can fix it this time..."

-Something inside the diva snapped. It was as if she knew Quinn wasn't just talking about her relationship with Puck, there was something else weighing on her shoulders. -And Rachel had been so obsessed with trying to believe in fairytales, that she hadn't noticed Quinn was slipping yet again.

"Get up".

'Wait that voice sounded almost as though...

"Quinn get up now".

'Holy crap that voice is me!'

Rachel's heart and mind withdrew, baffled by this sudden protective instinct that had erupted from inside her. They watched in disbelief as Rachel took Quinn's hand with a firm look that assured Quinn she knew what she was doing, and then led her straight to her car.

* * *

><p>"Puckerman? Private Puckerman?"<p>

Noah stood and threw his bag over his shoulder before looking to the bus stations doors one last time. His mother hid her tears of pity for her broken hearted son, his baby sister waved excitedly in an oblivious fashion. Santana Lopez and Britney Pierce stood hand in hand with sympathetic smiles. Finn Hudson and Will Schuester watched in pride of friend and student. From behind the stations doors, the rest of Glee Club and Puckerman's family looked on, as the brave soldier began his mark in the world.

As the doors opened and only a cruel tease of a late comer ran past as he ran onto the bus, Noah sighed and swallowed sadness as he turned back to the Marine calling names and accepted the loss.

"Here"

Noah regained his composure and smiled to his little sister one last time, refusing to let her see her big brother in the pain he found crushing him in that current moment.

-"See you soon Noah", the infants voice spoke.

"See you soon..." the young mans voice hoped rather than stated as he marched up to the Bus and nodded to the driver before climbing on.

-"PUCK?"

The voice froze the young recruit in his tracks, he heard the voice back through his mind, convinced it was a cruel trick caused by sleep deprivation and yet more wishful thinking.

"PUCK!" -That voice was more assertive, that voice was closer, and that voice was...

-"Quinn?" Puck turned and step back off the bus to find a fragile body of an angel thrown into his strong arms where in his heart he knew she had always belonged.

"Yes..." The cheerleader whispered the words into his ear, as her tears streamed against his warm skin.

"Really?" He pulled away to look the girl in the eye as he questioned what she was telling him. Quinn just began to laugh as she cried tears of joy.

"Yes, really...I'll marry you Puck" -The sounds of gasps outburst in the background as friends and family witnessed the shock update of the couples status. Gasps were heard all around accept from at the stations doors where a small Brunette nodded as she felt her heart snap. The walls of the afternoon dusk were closing in as she found her trained lungs competing for the knowledge of how to breathe. She knew this was another moment in time Quinn would steal from her, she knew as she witnessed time slow down as the couple before her kissed to seal their promise of love. The only difference was that this time, her time keeper had allowed her the privilege of slipping away into the shadows un-noticed as Puck began to board the bus. This time, Quinn had unconsciously granted Rachel the privilege to grieve the worst heartbreak she could ever fathom, in private. This time, as Puck waved goodbye through a musky window to those her loved, this time Rachel didn't want her side of the story to be told.

* * *

><p>"You can't honestly expect me to let you perform after you missed the entire dress rehearsal?"<p>

-"But I didn't miss the performance, it starts in less than 4 minutes if I'm not mistaken".

"Rachel, I'm sorry but Harmony will be taking your spot"

"Harmony doesn't know the part like I do"

"Harmony was here when we needed her"

-"Let Rachel do it". The sound of Rachel's understudy's voice broke the backstage tension between the Ballet Classes teacher and an incredibly driven yet darkened Rachel.

"Harmony..." The teacher interjected, "are you certain, you won't get another chance like this until next year..."

-"And next year I'll be ready. -Rachel performed this piece with Jesse two years ago and quite frankly, it was perfect. And tonight she'll sing and dance beside Mike Chang and it will be just as moving". Rachel turned to look at her supposed competition with a look of confusion, but the look on Harmony's face said it all. They were rivals, Harmony could perform this just as well as Rachel, but being rivals, they also respected one another. And right now Harmony understood that for Rachel to miss a dress rehearsal, something must of been catastrophically wrong, for only that type of crisis would keep herself from any show. Harmony knew that no matter how much she wanted this, Rachel needed it.

The two girls shared a small smile of agreement as the teacher walked off muttering about the 'dramatics of amateurs'.

"Knock them dead Rachel, don't let me regret doing that"

-"That won't be happening Harmony" Rachel replied a in a voice that dripped with an overwhelming passionate darkness.

The audience ceased their small talk as the lights around them faded to black, signaling the opening number as the red curtains lifted revealing a pitch-black stage. The atmosphere was tense and dark, the opening number was supposedly a ballad performed as a ballet number, the few individuals who had seen clips of the rehearsals knew it promised to be something powerful. But they had no idea it would prove to be something so unforgettable.

The silence echoed until a soft and melancholy piano played as two harsh spot lights appeared. Both shining down Rachel and Mike, embracing as the number promised to commence. As the piano repeated it's short sequence, Rachel danced out of Mike's grasp, facing both the audience and the truth of the darkness they contained as Mike reached out from behind as he sang out to her to begin her story.

_(Turn around)_

_Every now and then I get a_

_little bit lonely and you're never coming around_

_(Turn around)_

_Every now and then I get a little bit tired of_

_listening to the sound of my tears_

_(Turn around)_

_Every now and then I get a little bit nervous_

_that the best of all the years have gone by_

_Every now and then I get a little bit_

_terrified and then I see the look in your eyes_

Mike began to dance towards Rachel as she graced out of his grasp as he cried out to her again, only for her to keep pulling away.

_(Turn around bright eyes)_

_Every now and then I fall apart_

_(Turn around bright eyes)_

_Every now and then I fall apart_

As the infamous chorus of the anthem of the lonely broke out, the rest of the company danced onto the stage, surrounding Rachel and Mike into a claustrophobic space, the spotlight highlighting the pain the were both in as they danced a lovers goodbye while Rachel danced and sang her own story to the world.

_And I need you now tonight_

_And I need you more than ever_

_And if you'll only hold me tight_

_We'll be holding on forever_

_And we'll only be making it right_

_Cause we'll never be wrong_

_Together we can take it to the end of the line_

_Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time_

_I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark_

_We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks_

_I really need you tonight_

_Forever's gonna start tonight_

_Forever's gonna start tonight_

As Quinn walked into Puck's room, she found the radio had been left on, and an all too ironic Bonnie Tyler classic quietly echoed her longing for the man she had just let leave again.

The Blonde sat on the bed and jumped as she felt the rustle of goods beneath her. A small brown package and envelope addressed to her lay on Puck's pillow.

She carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the small note scribbled inside.

_'Quinn,_

_The Package is for when you find yourself feeling alone..._

_I love you'_

She felt the sting of absolution prick behind her eyes, as she brought the brown package to the chest and wished Puck could appear through the door. She cried tears of sadness as she accepted that he would not. And then she choked on the pain of wanting someone to come and help her through this, knowing that Rachel had her performance tonight, and that Santana and Britney were out trying to make peace with Santana's unaccepting Grandmother. As she cried into the pillow that still smelled of him, Quinn understood that she had never felt so loved, yet so alone.

_Once upon a time I was falling in love_

_But now I'm only falling apart_

_There's nothing I can do_

_A total eclipse of the heart_

_Once upon a time there was light in my life_

_But now there's only love in the dark_

_Nothing I can say_

_A total eclipse of the heart_

The bus rattled and shock as it drove along the winding dirt road, nearing it's destination. Puck sat with his head pressed firmly back, as he breathed in a mixture of dread, fear, cigarette smoke and hope as the radio crackled a classic Bonnie Tyler song.

"Let me guess, that pretty Blonde is the only thing that almost kept you behind?" The sound of the voice of the man beside him caused Puck to open his eyes and turn his head to its source.

The rugged comrade stared solemnly, awaiting a reply as he attempted to make conversation with a comrade he would be going out on the front line with someday soon.

"She's the only one who had the power to make me" Puck admitted under his breath as he turned his head out to the musky window and watched as the road winded behind them as they drove, as he left behind his future wife.

_(Turn around bright eyes)_

_Every now and then I fall apart_

_(Turn around bright eyes)_

_Every now and then I fall apart_

She flew forcefully through the air and straight into Mike's arms as she curled up in desperation for comfort from the heart wrenching pain she found herself in.

Mike raised her above his head as she struck a skillful pose of grace and fragility as the rest of the company danced around them in a frenzy of symbolism, showing the heartbreak the two lead performers were in. Mike slowly lowered Rachel to the ground as the rest of the company danced to surrounded them as they both danced in a desperate plea to get back to one another. Rachel sang the remaining ballad lines of the song as she through herself into the character, tears forming and her heart shattering.

_And I need you now tonight_

_And I need you more than ever_

_And if you'll only hold me tight_

_We'll be holding on forever_

_And we'll only be making it right_

_Cause we'll never be wrong_

_Together we can take it to the end of the line_

_Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time_

_I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark_

_We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks_

_I really need you tonight_

_Forever's gonna start tonight_

_(Forever's gonna start tonight)_

As the entire company echoed Rachel's last uttered line, they slowly began to leave the stage as the bright lights dimmed and all that remained was an exhausted Mike Chang, standing behind a broken, and emotionally suffocated ghost that used to be the spark of Rachel Berry. As she sang her final verse accompanied only by the piano, Rachel let her tears fall as she fell to her knees weak with exhaustion and emotional strain.

_Once upon a time I was falling in love_

_But now I'm only falling apart_

_There's nothing I can do_

_A total eclipse of the heart_

_A total eclipse of the heart_

_A total eclipse of the heart_

As Rachel bowed her head in her characters defeat, and her own personal submission of a secret heartbreak, Mike Chang began to exit the stage once more, before turning to sing the line that Rachel longed for Quinn to make true in her own life.

_(Turn around Bright Eyes)_

* * *

><p><em>(Later that night)<em>

She was drained. She was broken. She had just had to watch her heart be publicly trodden on, while no one could ever know as she had kept her love completely secret from even the object of her affections. She just felt...empty.

Rachel had always strove to be applauded and noticed. That evening when the final curtain drew, dozens of arms wrapped themselves around her congratulating her on a performance more stunning and emotionally raw that any of them could have ever dreamed of. Harmony informed her if she could ever live up to half of Rachel's performance that night, then she knew she would go far in life. But the worst part was, as a stranger introduced herself as the NYADA representative; Rachel failed to even acknowledge a spark in her bones. As the woman continued to say that the showcase would serve as Rachel's audition, and that she was thrilled to accept Rachel onto their program next fall...the worst part was that Rachel heard nothing but white noise. -Her dreams were coming true... weren't they? -Why did she still hurt so much?

She needed to breathe, she needed to be able to go back what she felt during that performance, and be able to cry out her emotions under the cover of the night, and be able to grieve in serenity. But as she pulled up to the Ohio billboard, she found a car already there. A car she knew the license plate of, off by heart. She couldn't turn around now; they would see her drive off. She had no choice. She was trapped.

As Rachel pulled herself over the railings and stood on the platform she was faced with the confused face of the cause of her own pain.

-"Rachel?" Quinn stared, unable to even wipe her own tears as she sat on the floor in a silk, black nightgown and white dressing gown in a pathetic mess. -"Rachel what are you...how...I mean...Rachel?" The Cheerleader struggled to understand.

"I come here to think sometimes..." Rachel admitted, she didn't have the will to lie anymore. It hurt too much.

Quinn stared at her questioningly, before her eyebrows softened and she fumbled to pull herself together as she began to ramble.

"Oh god, your performance...Kurt mentioned NYADA were going to be there, and now your 'thinking'? Rachel...I'm sorry, it didn't go the way you planned?" Quinn finished with a sincere look of apology, assuming Rachel had come here disappointed with her performance.

Rachel looked to her feet and willed herself not to lie anymore, "It wasn't what I had planned or expected no..."She confessed in a small voice laced with pain and disappointment.

She took a step closer before retreating as she willed herself to ask what she didn't want to know.

-"You came to think about Puck?"

"Yes." Rachel nodded dumbly before turning to leave.

"I'll just leave you to it and go somewhere else..."

-"No Rachel!" Rachel turned abruptly, confused by Quinn's strange eagerness to correct herself.

"Rachel I..." Quinn mulled her words as she looked out into the city of fallen dreams surrounding them, "I came here because of Puck. But I got upset because of someone else completely". The Blonde shied her eyes back to Rachel's, the two girl sharing a rare moment of honesty and admittance of pain.

Rachel took a step forward as she found herself needing to know before she left...

"Why are you crying Quinn?" Quinn bit her lip back as if deciphering a correct sentence in her head before she could reply.

-"Because I've been so surrounded by my own selfish issues, that I never even considered the possibility I had left those who needed me in the dark".

"I don't understand?" -Rachel was thrown by the Blonde's confession of guilt; it was rare for either stubborn girl to ever consider the possibility of being in the wrong, let alone admit it aloud.

Quinn opened her mouth to explain before shutting it quickly in regret. She then stood and slowly walked around the back of the Billboard, beckoning Rachel to follow.

Rachel turned the corner of the landmark, and looked as Quinn stood, standing by her own red written words. She stood vulnerable and in sorrow as her words were surround by new quotes written in black that had gone un-answered and alone.

"They needed me..." Quinn cried, as she turned to gaze at the words before her, the old phrases she had memorized remained, but now they were surrounded with new words. -A journey that without guidance had ended in the heartbreak of her anonymous companion.

_"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." -Maya Angelou_

_"Once upon a time there was light in my life_

_But now there's only love in the dark_

_Nothing I can say_

_A total eclipse of the heart" -Bonnie Tyler_

_"I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be." -Nicholas Sparks_

_"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss_

Quinn turned back to look at Rachel who by this point had eyes brimming with tears as she feared the cold, the rejection and humiliation if Quinn ever knew the truth.

Quinn's eyes flickered over Rachel's as the Blonde gained a sudden flash of determination. As her tears stained her cheeks she marched to the side of the Billboard and returned, brushing past a corpse formerly known as Rachel Berry as she pulled out a red spray paint and pondered her reply.

She carefully lifted her finger and traced the words Rachel had most recently left. -The words that showed the truth. Despite all the talks with Sam, the self motivation of good deeds and acceptance, the self guru quotes she had previously written... despite all of this, the words Quinn now traced were the words Rachel had written straight from her own heart, just after she dropped Quinn off at the Bus Station earlier that day.

_"Turn around bright eyes... I know I should be moving on, but why won't she look back?"_

Quinn studied these words carefully, as Rachel fumbled back into the railings, finding her legs unable to stand on their own without the strength and support of the metal she leaned on. Watching as Quinn lifted the spray can and swiftly wrote her reply with every ounce of certainty and meaning.

_"Tell her"_

As Rachel gasped back at the meaning and importance of the words before her written by the unknowing reciprocate of her heart, Quinn never took her eyes away from her art.

-"I just hope they see it..." Quinn spoke into the night as she breathed away her own problems, and decided to focus on those who had been there for her.

Rachel trembled as she struggled to muster the courage to continue her honest streak with Quinn. As she fought her tongue between her mind and heart, the singer spoke the only words she had the strength to at this point.

-"I'm sure they'll get the message..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>I won't lie...this chapter was a ball ache. Not that I have them, but considering the knowledge that I played Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' on repeat until I finished this; I can safely say it was very much an emotional ball ache. -I'm sure you appreciate the metaphor, you're intelligent people.<strong>_

_**-OKAY SO! **_

_**-I wish for reviews, as this chapter was built based on two reviews I received that made me see my story in a new light. I like knowing what you people like and and hearing your suggestions for what could happen next for our lovely characters. You have the power, and with great power comes great responsibility... (I think we all know that's not a Spiderman, but in fact a Faberry sexual chemistry reference that Glee creator Ryan Murphy ought to pay attention too... YOU HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL BETWEEN THOSE WONDERFUL ACTRESSES! USE IT RYAN!)**_


	10. Broken Arrow

_**Chapter Nine- Broken Arrow**_

_March (Senior Year)_

'To say I've never felt this way, well that would be more than just your casual understatement. She's all I think about, she's all I care for, and she's all I see when I try to sleep at night. She's all I see when I wake up in the night and need to... well...eh hem... you get the idea I'm sure.

This entire situation is so unreal; I just don't think there's a TV drama out there to capture the surrealism of it all. I mean, she's not taken. No, she's engaged. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!

-So if I know there's a difference: why is it that I can't 'not' light up when I see her? Why is it I can't help but love it when the crowd parts and she looks and smiles my way? Why is it when I ramble and she tells me to "shut up" it still sounds like an angels song? The truth of the matter is I've fallen, and fallen fast despite everything being so morally wrong about the situation. I know what I have to do, I need to show her that there's a better option for her, that at the end of the day she deserves the kind of person who appreciates how special she is despite everything she's done. If anything, watching how she's grown from her mistakes just makes her all that more amazing. I know what I need to do.

-I need to woo Quinn Fabray.'

* * *

><p>As the nervous pair of feet approached the locker of their hearts desire, they watched in awe as the angel revealed herself as she graced down the hallway with Brittney and Santana at her sides.<p>

The smitten singer watched on as Quinn leaned by her locker as her friends chatted idly away. Quinn, even when slumping, seemed to hold the ability to perfect her poise to the point of making lazy look attractive. As the singer glanced to their watch it dawned on them that it would happen any second now. Any second now the plan would commence and Quinn would finally look their way. Quinn would finally see what was right in front of her all along.

"Quinn Fabray?" The well-spoken voice of Blaine Anderson announced itself above the crowd as the young heartthrob smiled his irresistible charm and approached the Blonde armed with a single red rose at the ready.

"Blaine? What are you-" Quinn questioned with her infamous arched eyebrow...

"Does Kurt know that your-" as Brittney interjected,

-"You do realize your gay right?" and Santana oh so eloquently finished.

Blaine chuckled yet another irresistible grin before standing toe-to-toe with the Cheerleader and leaning in to whisper into her ear in a somewhat mocking tone...

"Perhaps you should be thanking the person who actually got you this" Quinn was about to question before Blaine quickly finished, "a particular individual who says singing with you was the moment they knew the two of you were supposed to be, and will you please consider going on a date this evening?"

Quinn was taken back by the words of the ex-Warbler and looked at him incredulously before answering, "Blaine, you do realize this ring on my finger isn't a just novelty gift?"

-"Hey I'm just the well paid messenger! I never said I agreed with the timing of the wooing, but well...romance is romance" the dark haired stud smiled as he turned and continued down the hallway with a smile fixed to his face as he subtly nodded to the sender of the gift awaiting Quinn's response.

Quinn found herself speechless and baffled as she pulled an expression of clear frustration as her mind told her she was wrong...'why would she, I mean...no this is wrong, I'm with Puck. Puck, my male fiance...'

As she debated internally her fingers toyed with the deliciously soft petals as the gentle brush of them on her skin reminded her of only one person. Quinn lifted the flower carefully to her nose and inhaled its beautiful scent before sharply looking ahead to the opposing lockers where she gazed into dark brown eyes that seemed to melt at her acknowledgment of them. She couldn't fight the small smile that overcame her lips as the other looked completely overwhelmed and dumbfounded that she had actually looked her way. It made them all the more frustratingly adorable she concluded.

But as Quinn stared into the eyes of the one she feared and almost found herself hoping the sender of her flower was, she failed to notice another pair of eyes staring straight across the hallway and witnessing the entire event.

Rory Flanagan had come to school today with just one purpose, wooing Quinn Fabray. So why is it, that when he sends her a rose, and confesses the connection he felt when they sang together, that she looks beyond him and into the sheepishly returned loving stare of none other than the infamously annoying Rachel Berry?

Rory had to severely blink and try to understand what he was seeing before him, but just as soon as the shy glance of intensity had begun, Quinn looked away and placed the rose into her locker before exiting with her minions and leaving behind a smitten Rachel. It was the single most: bizarre, unnatural, hot, and cruel -four seconds of his life. Rory needed an explanation now!

-'I need to talk to Quinn!'

* * *

><p><em>One Week earlier (Monday)<em>

"Guys I don't want to hear it!" Will Schuester shouted above the numerous raised voices of the room, all equally appalled by his task to work in 'assigned' duets.

-"I tried a duet, I then proceeded to make out with her... and Finn got all up in my face for it"

-"Dude she was my girlfriend! ...Twice!"

-"Mr. Schue while I see'z what your doin' here, there ain't no ass here as fine as mine other than my Brit-Brit"

-"Mr. Schuester while I appreciate the attention to our groups chemistry this week, I feel I have to agree with my fellow team mates and say that this is a worse idea than your continuous obsession with the tiring band you love known as Journey" As the diva sat upright and silent awaiting the hurdles of abuse thrown at her for speaking above everyone else once more, the rest of the Glee club found themselves dumbstruck by the realization that they actually found Rachel's voice valid for once. Will almost canceled the entire experiment, as the group appeared to have a tighter bond than he had initially thought when...

-"Not to mention as the 'solo star' of this group, I fail to see why you would want to waste valuable practice time that could be used on the solo you are inevitably going to give me to sing at Regional's" ...and just like that Rachel went flying back into the realm of insistently annoying and egotistical.

"No, I've had it!" Will beckoned over the outcry of teenagers facing him, "You WILL work with whom I choose to assign you to. No questions asked, I want you guys to work with the group members you never truly appreciated before. -Consider this a night of neglect 2.0... 'The week of neglect'!" he proudly finished with a smug grin and far too much enthusiasm from a grown man wearing a sweater vest in a murky yellow colour.

"The groups are as follows: Finn and Blaine, Kurt and Brittney, Tina and Sam, Mercedes and Mike, Artie and Sugar, Rachel and Santana, Quinn and Rory." Numerous moans were heard throughout the group meanwhile Rachel turned to the Blonde sat beside her and found courage to admit her true feelings in the moment.

"Is it strange how I really wanted to hear your name after mine?" Quinn smirked at the weak admission before briefly hugging the small Brunette beside her.

"It's not strange", she whispered; "it's clearly for a reason considering I wanted my name to follow yours too".

Rachel couldn't help the natural smile that overcame her, and how as Quinn attempted to pull away her fingertips pressed into the Cheerleaders back asking her to stay just five more seconds in this moment.

-The truth is the two girls had been somewhat inseparable over the last three weeks since Puck had left. Neither seemed to be able to stay away.

Rachel found that since Quinn's non-intentional confrontation on the billboard, she told herself if she wasn't going to put her heart on the line and tell the truth; then she wouldn't see the Cheerleader at all. -She didn't deserve too.

But Quinn seemed to have another opinion, still in complete denial about the bizarre and strange dreams she had been having lately, (having concluded it was simply her loneliness picking a random name out of the hat to have an intimate dream about) she instead found that only when she was with Rachel would she feel like she wasn't alone anymore. She had found a friend that she had been searching for, and simultaneously denying for years. -Now that she had found her, she wasn't about to let that slip.

So of course after Puck's departure and their 'encounter' at the billboard, Rachel had gone home and told herself 'no more'. -But when Quinn turned up at her locker on Monday with a smile and a cherry slushie, because as Quinn's claimed "those boneheads ran out of grape, but this will do"; Rachel found she was powerless but to feel nothing but amazement that Quinn still wanted her after everything that had been shared between the two girls. Rachel found herself silently grateful her friend had decided to go to war for his country, as in doing so, she was allowed to pretend that Quinn wasn't really getting married. -Rachel found she was more than okay with continuing this denial... even if only for a little while.

"Okay guys remember the key is doing the unexpected. You're all working with unexpected partners so I want you all to sing songs that are highly unexpected. The key here is to impress everyone with how much we didn't expect you both to gel together. -Now you can use the rest of rehearsal to get started on picking a song. Good Luck!" Will clapped his hands together with a broad excited smile, while he mental prayed that this scheme would pay off and not ensue World War Glee.

"Okay Berry this is how it works: one, I sing JUST as much as you. Two, I only make Broadway exceptions when you accept I can pull off the leading lady of said musical JUST as well as you could. -Oh! And three... just because my girl Q has bonded with you, I'm willing to play nice. But make ONE stupid comment about how the world revolves around Berry, and I will be sending a team of pest control to burn your outfit while your still wearing it."

-"Santana, how nice to see you're being mature for a change" Quinn joked as Rachel sat stunned while the two cheerleaders shared a look of amusement for each other.

Santana glared at Rachel as if to say, 'well come on then!' to which Rachel simply turned back to her Blonde protector for reassurance.

"She acts tough, but S here is about as hard as a puppy" Quinn smiled.

-"Please, I ain't no puppy! I'm just a sucker for doggy style" the Latina smirked as Quinn chuckled and Rachel, for lack of a better term simply uttered "...ew" before standing and walking away with the enemy like she had a droopy tail between her legs.

Quinn sat there laughing at the entire spectacle as the two girls sat by the piano where Rachel was 'spelling out' sheet music: note by note to Santana, who simply responded by grabbing the music and repeatedly swatting the smaller Brunette on the head with it. Honestly Quinn found she would happily watch this all day long, Santana being who she loved her to be, and Rachel being well... Rachel. It was only when a nervous Irish mumble spoke from above her that she awoke from her day dream to see Rory Flanagan standing there looking equally terrified and in awe to be allowed to be in her presence.

"So I was...erm...no...I was...well I mean you know! -And well, because I... Oh god help me." He ranted as he struggled to come to terms with the fact that a reject newcomer like himself was in a position that entitled him to spend one on one time with the most beautiful and popular girl in school.

"RORY!" Quinn snapped.

-"Oh god", he looked quickly to meet her gaze and sat beside her whilst tapping his foot mid-panic.

"Shut up?" Quinn finished. Rory snapped his lips together so quickly the Blonde figured he must have swallowed his own tongue in the process. Eager to ease the babbling boy she broke out a soft smile as she attempted to break the tension.

"Hi..." she announced. -To which Rory simply looked bemused.

"Hi?" he questioned back with an eyebrow raise of confusion and amusement that could rival the Queen's herself.

"Yes, hi. -I'm Quinn Fabray, but you can call me Quinn. It's a pleasure to finally be able to get to know the Irish wonder boy who sang fantastically at Sectionals and even dared to woo Brittney and face Santana's wrath...even if Brittney wasn't quite aware that's what you were doing" the Blonde grinned angelically as she held out her hand to the fumbling boy who seemed to calm instantly as he reached out and shook hers in return.

-"Hi, its nice to meet you Quinn," he played along now sharing a childish smirk with the Cheerleader, "I'm Rory Flanagan, but you can call me Rory. If I may also add myself, it's a pleasure likewise to finally have a chance to meet 'the Quinn Fabray'. -Who may I also add, is just as stunning, but far less intimidating in person".

As the two began to laugh and joke, they both agreed they would consider song choices tomorrow, but for now, they'd much rather get to know one another as they were happy to finally have the opportunity presented. On the other side of the room however, Santana flicked through the options Rachel's iPod presented her with (surprisingly the Diva really seemed to enjoy a good party, considering her 'top 25 played' playlist consisted of: LMFAO, Nicki Minaj and even David Guetta- who knew the hobbit had taste?) -As she did so, Rachel sat on the piano stool, her eyes transfixed on the freakishly groomed duo who seemed more interested in laughing and joking as they gazed into one another's eyes and, 'touching? Why is she constantly touching his arm so playfully? And why is he allowed to touch her back! This is outrageous! HE IS CLEARLY HITTING ON YOU QUINN! GET OFF HER! GET OFF HER NOW!'

As Rachel's eyes glared more fiercely than a lion at the vet, she bit down deeply as her teeth grazed and she failed to understand why screaming in her mind didn't get Quinn's full attention.

'This is ridiculous! He is blatantly attracted to you Quinn, quit leading the poor Irish leprechaun on. Anyway she's engaged! He isn't allowed to like her, its completely immoral. Yes... he's an immoral leprechaun smitten with an ENGAGED Aphrodite.

-Wait a second... I'm an immoral hobbit smitten with an ENGAGED Aphrodite... sweet dramatic irony how I both adore and loath you for even occurring in my internal monologues!'

Quite frankly Rachel would of happily, (okay maybe 'happily' isn't the best choice of word there) sat and glared at the Ken and Barbie 2.0 all day, but oddly Santana didn't quite agree.

"Yo Berry tree!" Rachel looked up to Santana who looked surprisingly playful...this worried her.

-"Berry tree?"

"Yes Berry tree, I felt it. I tried it. I just now decided I don't like it. -Got a problem with that flamingo peach?"

"Flamingo what?" Rachel transformed her frustrated expression to one of pure confusion as she pushed for a translation of 'Santana speak' to English. "Santana, while I appreciate the improvement and your willingness to update your cruel nicknames to less, well, cruel nicknames..." Santana smirked almost victoriously at the memory, "I will however point out that your current choice of insults make no sense."

-"Well neither does your wardrobe but you don't see anyone else complaining do you Monkey Goat?" the Latina challenged.

"Actually I'm fairly sure that you never stop complaining about my dress choices Santana." Rachel could tolerate this Santana it seemed, with the knowledge that Quinn assured her Santana wasn't 'so bad', she suddenly became less scary to the Diva.

-"Listen here piss kidney"

"Piss Kid..."

"Yes piss kidney, I like it and will probably stick with it, okay Bilbo?"

"Bilbo? But I thought you just said you were sticking with Piss Kid..."

"Zip it Play-doh!" At this point Rachel simply rolled her eyes understanding that while Santana was exceedingly above the average individual when it came to her intelligence, giving 'nice' nicknames was clearly not her true calling in life.

"Anyhoo Badger Tights, I 'was' going to say I've found our song. I found it on your iPod despite your brave attempts to hide the music people aren't supposed to know you enjoy" Rachel gasped as she realized Santana had somehow discovered her secret music stash...

-"Little pointer for you Fridge Toaster, don't hide the music you don't want people to see under a playlist called 'Secret Music Stash".

Rachel blushed furiously and accepted defeat, but only due to the knowledge that while Santana won this round, she most certainly didn't win the title of 'Queen of the nickname battle'.

* * *

><p><em>(Wednesday)<em>

As she sat toying with the straw of her slushie, Quinn found herself left alone with her thoughts for the first time since Puck had left. (Unless you count the night... but the truth is Quinn liked to pretend that the nights never happened, it turns out being alone in her thoughts was her own worst enemy).

Since Monday things had been beyond strange. For starters she had found an unexpected friend in Rory, the boy was actually pretty sweet. He was like Finn, 'you know minus me cheating and lying about the baby's paternity and well... he's a drama-less Finn'.

The two had ended up spending almost all of Monday talking about absolutely nothing that mattered, it was... well it was refreshing! With Rory she could live in an Irish fantasy world of make believe and act like a child for a few hours. Quinn realized after spending time with the boy, that other than Puck, Rachel, Santana and Brittney, she didn't really have anyone to hang out with. And with Puck gone, Santana and Brittney finally in a public relationship and Rachel being well... Rachel would light up around her, and in all honesty Quinn found herself racing to get to school in the mornings and actually looking 'forward' to one of her rants about the failings of society. But after those dreams... well Quinn figured it couldn't hurt to be close to a few other people than just the diva.

But despite all this, here she was... sat alone during lunch. 'ALONE!' -Quinn was fairly certain this hadn't happened since she got pregnant, and even then she had Mercedes to keep her company. But now all the Glee kids had made themselves scarce rehearsing and were all throwing themselves into this project. Even Rachel and Santana seemed to have bonded. Quinn couldn't wrap her head around it, but she wasn't about to complain. The two seemed to be hard at work since the moment they were put together.

It wasn't until she saw a blue slushie being placed in front of her that she snapped out of her daydream about how Puck must be coping, and how Rachel was...'wait, Rachel?'

"So I tried to bring you a present but it seems you beat me to the punch" Quinn looked up to see Rory smiling his boy wonder smile and indicating the slushie error.

'Hmm blue raspberry, it's okay... but they have grape on sale today. Rachel would never have got me blue raspberry if there were an option of grape. Wait! -Focus...'

-"Yeah I guess my stomach won the race to the slushie stand?" Quinn offered as Rory smiled and was about to sit beside the girl when the screech of the announcement speakers sounded and Becky Jackson's voice echoed through the school.

_"McKinley Students and Staff, please grab your lunch and gather in the school auditorium immediately"_

_-"You could at least let them finish their lunch, Becky..."_

_"Can it hobbit. Becky here is doing us a favour remember?"_

It wasn't exactly the most conventional of announcements but the students seemed to get the message as they all rose from their seats and headed to the auditorium. Quinn however, turned to Rory confused and expressed this to the equally baffled boy.

"Rory, is it just me... or did that announcement sound like it wasn't just Becky, but-"

-"But Santana and Rachel as well?" he finished laughing at the bizarre place McKinley was becoming. Here he was sat with the most popular girl in school, meanwhile Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry were apparently raiding the announcements office. Somehow Quinn and Rory felt this wasn't quite the result Mr. Shue had counted on in his little social experiment.

* * *

><p>The auditorium buzzed with the sound of slurping slushies', rustling lunches and anticipating students. Quinn and Rory managed to find the majority of the rest of Glee Club, as New Directions attempted to figure out what the hell Santana and Rachel had planned.<p>

As a viciously bright spotlight shot down center stage, Will Schuester was revealed standing by the microphone, grinning like a mischievous eight year old who just told his younger sibling Santa wasn't real.

"Thank you all for coming! I know this wasn't how you had planned to spend your lunch, but I can definitely promise you that this is something you wouldn't have wanted to miss." Will looked back stage briefly and nodded to whatever or whoever was back there before continuing to explain what was occurring to the intrigued members of McKinley.

"Now... as some of you may know, Glee club has gotten even more bizarre this week. We deliberately challenged members who didn't exactly agree with one another before to work side by side. -Well how else do you explain the way Santana Lopez publicly referred to Rachel Berry as her 'lil mini-me' yesterday?" The student body burst into giggles, it was hardly a secret that the behavior of the Glee students this week had been even odder than when they all roamed the halls in wheelchairs.

"Anyway, today Santana and Rachel informed me that they had perfected their song and wished to 'show McKinley what happens when you add a Diva to a Latina'", as the students again began to chuckle Will figured he had successfully handled the hungry crowd into a more enthusiastic one, and finished the introduction.

"So without further ado, may I present a once in a life-time opportunity. Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry willingly working on the same stage and performing a song they feel will entertain you all. Enjoy!" As Will quickly ran off the stage the spotlight and lights of the auditorium shut off, leaving the eager audience in complete darkness, awaiting the unlikely performance of the century. The curtain slowly drew back, revealing a blackened stage and nothing but silence.

Suddenly the sound of shouting broke out as two spotlights shined down on a sight that immediately made the entire crowd burst into laughter.

Rachel stormed onto the stage screaming away as Santana followed her giving everything right back at her. But it wasn't the play on the stereotypical arguing of the two girls that made the audience burst into hysterics. No, it was the heightened stereotypical outfits they had dressed themselves in. It was as if they had dressed each other, aiming to show how the world saw them (Little did the audience know, Rachel and Santana had very deliberately dressed each other. While at first they argued, they then realized they could use this energy into a performance to outshine the rest of the duets).

Santana was dressed in...well... basically nothing. Her hair was tasseled into sexy waves while her make up was sultry to complement the black, silk nightgown she wore. Her character screamed 'slut' and the student body was eating up the cheerleader's ability to mock herself.

Rachel on the other hand, seemed to gain the most laughs of the auditorium. It would seem Santana had dressed her with a vengeance aimed to prove a point to the Diva of what a 'dork' she thought her to be. Rachel wore green sneakers with white knee high socks to make her feet look like a toddlers. Then there were her green mini shorts and her bright yellow T-Shirt topped with green suspenders attached to the shorts. Her make-up was non-existent and her hair was tied back into school girl bunches, as her look was completed with thick framed Green glasses. -In conclusion, she screamed N.E.R.D.

-As Quinn laughed at her two close friends making imbeciles out of themselves for the purpose of a performance; she couldn't help but also notice how Rachel's outfit actually made her look like a kind of 'hot nerd'. The shorts were so small that almost all of her surprisingly long, and beautifully sculpted, tanned legs were on display. And the glasses oddly gave her a sort of 'hipster edge'. A look that Quinn had secretly always found attractive. Quinn figured that noticing these 'minor details' was simply because Santana had dressed Rachel... and Santana was too hot to pull off 'geek'. So she had accidentally pulled off 'hot geek'.

"That's it I'm sick to death of you and your stupid opinions Berry!" Santana screamed as she sat on a chair center stage.

"Yeah well you have to put up with them a little longer as I don't know if you've forgotten, but you're coming to my house after school to practice for Glee!" Rachel countered as she sat grumpily down in the empty seat right beside Santana.

"Well maybe if you didn't just focus on everything you hate about me!" Santana screamed at the Brunette.

"Odd, because I can't think of anything I like; when you frustrate me this much!" Rachel yelled.

"I only like this much fighting when it leads to make up sex! And I can tell I won't be getting any of that here! Especially since you apparently can't think of one single thing you like about me!" Rachel simply let out a frustrated 'humph' in response before she looked away and Santana raised her hands to signify turning the ignition of a car and then reached out as if gripping the steering wheel.

The two girls spent a second or two in silence before Santana spoke up.

"This silence is more frustrated than you are sexually Berry. -Put the radio on" -it was a demand, not a request, and Rachel rolled her eyes dramatically as she faked turning a dial in front of them. As she did so, the sound of synthesizers began along with a keytar, sounding through the auditorium speakers. The stage was lit to a relaxing blue, signifying a setting of driving in the evening. Rachel, began to tap her foot as if it was out of her control and she was becoming possessed by her inhabitations, all while Santana 'drove' obliviously as Rachel turned to her and began to sing as in locked under a tense spell.

_'I like where we are,_

_When we drive, in your car_

_I like where we are... Here'_

The bass began to steadily blast it's beat through the speakers as Rachel began to rock her body uncontrollably to the beat. A guitar began a melody as the diva bit her lip in a dorky fashion before quickly turning back and leaning right into towards (the still oblivious) Santana, acting as though she was immensely bursting with sexual energy. The entire audience began to clap along to the beat, all whilst laughing at the story played out before them off the nerdy schoolgirl in love with the slutty Latina.

_'Cause our lips, can touch_

_And our cheeks, can brush_

_Our lips can touch here'_

Suddenly Rachel jumped out of her seat whilst tensing every inch of her body as if to show her geeky nature ran to her core as this chorus simply exploded out of her, as Santana simply drove and twirled her hair, tapping her foot to the beat of the bass.

_'Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me_

_Whispers, "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"_

_I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_

_Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms'_

The audience all screamed with joy and applauded as Rachel finished her explosion of love for Santana. As the short pre-verse played, Rachel sat back down in her seat as if nothing had just happened, and the stage lights faded back to a cool blue setting as Santana ceased driving and instead stared sharply at a blissfully unaware Rachel who gazed out the window. The Latina began to shake as the music began to take over her soul as well, her lips parted and the verse blurted out of her body.

_'I like where you sleep,_

_When you sleep, next to me._

_I like where you sleep... here'_

The audience laughed at the bizarre story unfolded and Santana seductively and almost desperately leaned into the diva's ear, as she finished her verse.

_'Our lips, can touch_

_And our cheeks, can brush_

_Our lips can touch here'_

The audience roared with delight as Santana jumped onto her chair screaming her love at the daydreaming Rachel, dancing in a slutty manner to the beat with inappropriate thrusts and lots of hair tossing... all of which simply made the audience cheer her on further.

_'Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me_

_Whispers, "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"_

_I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_

_Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms'_

As the instrumental kicked in, Rachel flew out of her chair and Santana jumped down from hers. They ran around the stage jumping and dancing to get the audience to join in and dance to the anthem they had given a unbelievably, surreal narrative to.

As the two girls danced their way to the front of the stage, the music and lighting suddenly died down to an intense dim blue setting with a single white backlight outlining the two girls figures as they stared intensely at one another. Rachel slowly stepped towards Santana as she softly sang...

_'Our lips, can touch'_

Santana turned also at this pint and stepped directly into Rachel's space as she leaned closer returning the line.

_'Our lips, can touch...here'_

As the two girls leaned closer and closer, even slowly shutting their eyes, their crowd wet wild on the potential of the two rivals making out on stage. The base beat grew louder and louder, more and more intense as their lips grew closer and closer to the joy of the audience.

-And then, that was when it happened. She couldn't explain it, but something bizarre happened to Lucy Quinn Fabray in that moment.

Around her she heard the screams of excitement muffle, the thudding of the base beat slowing down so much that all she could hear was the pounding echo of her own heart beat. She felt cold, almost as if she was frozen in time as the scenario played out before her. Rachel's lips were just a breath away for Santana's, the song had been perfected, up until now Quinn had been crying with laughter at her two friends for their imagination and drive. -But now, the trails on her cheeks from her tears of joy began to sting, a sharp stabbing occurred in her chest and her lungs tightened as if the ability to breathe was long forgotten.

The crowd disappeared.

The world disappeared.

All that was left was her standing there, unable to break free of this agonizing ache in her chest as she watched the performance reaching its climax.

Their lips were but a brush away from each other as the music ceased and Rachel gently parted her lips and breathed out into the auditorium air...

_'You are the one the one that lies close to me_

_Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"'_

Suddenly Quinn felt her functions return as the two girls broke apart grinning as the crowd jumped to their feet and danced to the song. The two girls on stage held hands as they jumped around singing the closing chorus together, with smiles beaming as they reveled in joy of teasing and pleasing their audience with an 'almost kiss'.

_'I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_

_Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms_

_You are the one the one that lies close to me_

_Whispers, "Hello I miss you, I miss you"_

_I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_

_Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms'_

The music began to die down as the lights returned to the previous 'car setting', and the girls slowly returned to the seats. Santana looked to Rachel with a look of lust and want before singing:

_'Here in your arms'_

Santana lifted her arms and returned to the gesture of driving a car as Rachel looked back at Santana and sang her line before quickly looking back to the 'window' of the car.

_'Here in you arms'_

The auditorium thudded with the sound of stomping feet, screams of delight and the essence of the two girls success filling the air. Mr. Shue ran on stage and hugged the girls before announcing into the microphone that 'they'd just found their anthem for regionals', to which the Glee kids applauded and whistled their agreement.

-Santana looked more than just a little 'smug' knowing she matched Rachel Berry on stage.

-Rachel looked gob smacked that she had just pulled off 'sexy' to the entire school. She also found herself dying to see Quinn and see what she thought of her 'geek sheek' outfit.

-Rory realized that during a performance with heavy sexual innuendo and lesbian references, he had spent the entire time staring at Quinn in awe of how he had always known she was beautiful, but never known that the beauty ran down to her core.

-Quinn however, stared dumbstruck at Rachel wondering what the hell just happened and why it felt as though time had literally stopped at the thought of Rachel kissing someone. But hey, there was obviously some sort of logical explanation... (Or at least one that she would end up telling herself before she would go to sleep and experience yet another of 'those' dreams)

* * *

><p><em>(Friday)<em>

No matter how she looked at it, the result was always the same. Quinn was desirable, extremely desirable. -And as a result of this no matter where she went people would fall for her beauty left, right and center. Rachel wanted to turn around and kiss her whenever Quinn asked what was wrong, but now she no longer had even that luxury to fall back on inside her mind. As now all she could see when Quinn asked her what was wrong, was the image of Rory Flanagan with hands all over her as they rehearse late one night and get a little 'too' close. -At this point the singers mind would always flash back to the realization that Quinn loves Puck, and that she is being ridiculous. The entire situation is clearly in her head. Quinn wouldn't ever see Rory like that, because Noah Puckerman had blinded her. She knew this too well due to the pain in her gut telling her Quinn will never look twice at her for the exact same reason. -But all of this screaming and bickering inside her mind didn't stop the feeling of jealousy. The feeling of knowing Rory was allowed to spend time alone with her when she had to spend her Friday nights alone with not even the will power to create a MySpace video.

It wasn't that Quinn had blown her off, it just that for the last few months the two girls had been as if they were joined at the hip. When they went home on weekends they still never failed to text or call each other. Quinn hadn't blown Rachel off remotely, but Rachel found that she had grown to expect the Blonde to always be at her side. So when Quinn told her that she was hanging out with Rory tonight Rachel had found it hard not to cry.

-It was this realization that made her angry and frustrated, she couldn't stand how the last year had completely crumbled her entire being, she was an empty shallow hole of her former self. She felt as though she had been robbed of her soul. Quinn had stolen it from her. She had taken the only think Rachel cared about more than anything... her heart.

Rachel hated what the Cheerleader had done to her. She had agonized in saving the Blonde and fallen madly for her in the process, while Quinn had the nerve to be naïve and oblivious to Rachel's affections. She couldn't stand it anymore!

Rachel needed to push Quinn away. If one night without the Blonde felt this terrible, then she needed to pull away, it wasn't fair to her or to Quinn anymore. Most of all Rachel felt utterly ashamed at how none of it was fair to Noah. -This past month without him had been the happiest she had been since the start of Senior Year. Rachel knew what she had to do... Quinn clearly didn't care about her the same way and never would, she needed to escape her before she couldn't even breathe anymore, forget simply losing the ability to make a MySpace video! -Come Monday, Rachel would do what had to be done to push the Blonde away.

"Rachel, honey the door!" Leroy Berry's voice sounded from downstairs as Rachel adverted her eyes from her mirror and out to the echoing doorway.

-Come Monday, she would figure this entire mess out. But for now... well for now she would fix her hair, plaster on her fake smile and answer the door to Sam. -Nobody else seemed to take the time to visit anymore.

As she checked her appearance in the mirror, Rachel cringed mentally at how horrific she appeared. She wore a red Christmas jumper with baggy grey sweatpants and white leg warmers. She had truly 'out Berried' her wardrobe when she came home from school today. Sighing she headed down the hallway and slowly down the staircase (At least Sam has forgotten how to judge, she figured. -Well he couldn't, not after she saw him in his transformer pajamas).

As her slippers reached the bottom of the stairs she looked up and gasped at the sight.

Quinn stood in her doorway smiling brightly in a flowing pink dress and white cardigan. Her hair flew across her shoulders and the glow of the streetlights outside illuminated her face.

"-Is that a Christmas jumper?" Now, while Rachel could have answered the bemused Blonde, instead she found herself speechless as she gaped with wide eyes and not even a gasp escaped her throat. Quinn however beamed and bit her lip as she attempted not to break into a fit of laughter at the adorably tragic sight before her.

Quinn watched as she awaited a snappy comeback from the Brunette, but all she received instead was a brush of air as Rachel screamed ducked to the floor in a panic...(then realizing that, now in hysterics, Quinn could still see her) she dashed up the stairs fumbling multiple times as she did so. Leaving the Blonde stood with tears of delight, staring up the now empty stairs and then flinching at the sound of a door slamming above her.

-"Rachel?"

"Rachel?" Quinn cautiously pushed the Brunette's door ajar revealing Rachel rolled up in a duvet and hiding her head under her pillow.

Quinn slowly walked towards the bed, making note of how untidy Rachel's room was for a change. It was strange to see any part of the singer's life unhinged, but she figured if Rachel was going to have a bad day and dress badly and trash her room, the diva was bound to do so in style.

"Rachel please talk to me..." She spoke as she cautiously sat beside the pile of bed covers.

The bed covers let out a rant of mumbles, all just as incoherent and untranslatable as the last.

"Rachel you have single handedly cocooned yourself in your duvet, I can't exactly hear what you say when you insist on hiding within it" Quinn chuckled softly. The bedcovers carefully constructed a tiny opening allowing Rachel's voice to travel more clearly.

-"Today's actually not a fantastic day Quinn, perhaps you could see me on Monday instead? I'm positive I will be much more presentable then". Quinn failed to respond, and Rachel fell into a struggled silence as she awaited a response.

The pile of bed covers remained motionless, almost as if Rachel was debating whether or not to finally reveal herself. Quinn began to smirk menacingly as she slowly gripped the corners of the duvet and quickly threw them off the screaming diva and onto the floor.

Rachel flung forward dramatically as she attempted to throw herself onto the floor to retreat from the world once more in her hour of shame, but miscalculated and instead went flying into Quinn and knocked them both straight onto the (now somewhat cushioned) bedroom floor.

Rachel carefully peeked to her side and saw that Quinn, whilst moaning melodramatically, was completely fine. She let out a internal sign of relief before quickly turning over so that she could crawl onto the bed in an attempt to claw to the other side of the room.

-"Rachel!" Quinn cried as she saw a Christmas jumper making its quick escape as it dragged its limp body across the bed. The Blonde jumped up and quickly straddled Rachel, trapping her screaming and in place, lying across the center of the bed.

"No. No. Nooooooo!" Rachel screamed as Quinn skillfully flipped the Diva over so that she was now straddling her waist as she leaned in closer to Rachel's ear and positioned her fingertips below the Diva's ribcage.

-"Rachel, you will speak... or you will pay" she seductively grinned.

Rachel found her heart throbbing in all the wrong places as she desperately tried to wiggle free, releasing Quinn's tickling wrath as she did so. Within seconds the diva screamed mercy and the two girls where left panting with their faces just breathes apart, as they attempted to regain control.

Rachel found her body struggling to contain her heart rate, she was certain with the way they were positioned Quinn must be able to feel it thudding away with every breath. She found her core becoming increasingly wet from how close Quinn's own was to hers. -Suddenly all of Rachel's curiosity as to how lesbian's 'got off' vanished without a second thought as she found her body embarrassingly aroused to the core.

As Rachel looked up, she found her almost black eyes meeting extremely darkened hazel ones, if it wasn't for the beautiful gold flecks dancing in Quinn's Iris, Rachel would have completely forgotten who was intimately positioned on top of her and simply forced their lips together without hesitation.

She could of swore she felt Quinn leaning in closer, she could of swore she saw a predatory hunger in the Blonde's eyes. -It was only when Quinn slowly cupped Rachel's cheek to gently push a dark loose hair out of her eye that Rachel saw a flicker of silver constraining Quinn's finger.

As Quinn witnessed Rachel's eyes flicker to her hand, she saw the silver band around her finger, and with it she saw Puck in the back of her mind. Quinn carefully and swiftly removed herself from Rachel and instead sat in a sitting position on the opposite side of the bed at a safe distance from the diva.

Rachel found herself getting up almost as swiftly as Quinn, attempting to appear nonchalant and not inexplicably aroused to the point of near 'jumping' the Cheerleader.

After a few moments of 're-adjusting', toying with rings on fingers, and awkward stares to their feet, Quinn decided to break the girls harmonious silence.

"Now your erm...up, I just came by to say Hi, anyway I noticed you seemed a little off when me and Rory spoke to you earlier today. I guess I just wanted to check you were okay Rachel" the Blonde paused before gaining as much composure as she could muster, and looking up to smile sweetly at Rachel with that Prom Queen finish.

Rachel found her eyes slowly rising to meet Quinn's as she toyed childishly with her feet as she debated her response.

"Quinn, I'm wearing hideous sweats and a Christmas Jumper. Not to mention I'm sure you've seen the state of my room. No, I'm not exactly okay, but I'll get through it as usual" Rachel mustered with a half smile that was less convincing than a set of headlights wrapped in a tinfoil sign stating 'safe passage', would be to a deer on the highway.

"Rachel, your room is messy to the point of almost the 'perfection' of mess, it's somewhat impressive actually. Oh and your 'hideous sweats' look adorable thanks to the legwarmers you insist on wearing them with. Not to mention the 'Christmas' sweater? -Considering your religion of Judaism I find that aspect the most amusing Rachel" Quinn began to chuckle as Rachel's cheeks turned crimson in embarrassment.

"But..." Quinn pressed on with a sympathetic smile, "No matter how adorably you dress, I will always spot a fake smile of reassurance on you when its in front of me. So I'm planning to stay here, and watch Broadway musicals with you until curfew" Quinn got to up and headed to the DVD player before turning around gracefully and adding, "-if that's okay with you Rachel?"

-Rachel found a smile threatening to destroy her face as she battled her brains just to be able to respond weakly with watery eyes of appreciation.

-"Yeah, that would be perfect actually".

Quinn pressed play on the controls as 'Funny Girl' appeared on screen, she skipped over to the headboard where Rachel nervously sat and bounced into position beside her. Rachel found herself looking dumbly and with nothing but awe at the girl next to her. How is it someone she hated more that anyone in the entire existence of humanity... was the only person she couldn't help but become at a loss without. How is it that this person she loathed for what they had done to her... was the only person in the world she wanted right here beside her right now.

"Quinn?" Rachel mustered the courage to utter as the Blonde turned to face her.

"Rachel?" Quinn responded with a smile.

Rachel had to ask; if she just asked this one question then maybe she could confirm everything inside her head was just that... in her head. She was making it all up.

-"Why do you care? I thought you were supposed to be with Rory tonight?"

Quinn looked away as she flickered her eyes to the television screen. -Almost as if making eye contact would show her vulnerability more than it was already blatantly on show.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly." Rachel answered weakly.

"Well," Quinn began as she pursed her lips before sighing as she admitted the truth, "because as fun as Rory is... When I saw you today you looked awful. I didn't expect it after the great week you'd had, getting to know Santana and blowing that performance into the stars" Quinn laughed softly, before turning to face Rachel with a look of vulnerable honesty.

"Seeing you like that Rachel, it scared me. It scared me so much thinking that something could happen and I wouldn't be there when you needed me. After everything you've done for me, I owe you at least that... I owe you my life Rachel".

A moment paused as Rachel searched the other girls eyes for a quiver of doubt. But all she found was the reflection of her own watery eyes as both girls returned their vision to the screen leaving the moment as it was.

-"Rachel?" Quinn spoke as she nervously looked to the singer and interrupted the silence.

"Quinn?" Rachel replied, finding herself falling further and further to the edge as every second with Lucy Quinn Fabray passed.

-"I don't suppose you have another one of those Christmas jumpers?"

And just like that...Rachel fell.

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

Rory Flanagan had two options. The child inside him wanted to throw a tantrum, scream and cry like a baby and demand why Quinn didn't feel the same and had lead him on. He would then cry about how could she do this to him, not to mention Puck!

-But Rory concluded not only was this immature and insensitive... it also made him a hypocrite.

So he found that as Quinn sat beside him in the auditorium Monday at break, with the most innocent smile on her face, that quite simply put... his anger faded on the spot. It was as if it melted along with every negative bone in his body the second she entered the room and his life again. -Therefore he understood a new plan, one he would develop on the spot. One he knew just from the innocent nature of her eyes that it was the right thing to do.

"Hey Rory so Mr. Shue said if we don't perform this afternoon in Glee then he will-"

"Actually Quinn," Rory interjected looking at her with a half smile, "about that... I realized we won't get anywhere until we're honest with ourselves about everything. We're supposed to do a song that means something as well as something nobody would expect, so we need to be honest about things first..."

"Rory what are you trying to..."

-"I sent you the rose!" The wrecked boy blurted. Quinn simply sat upright and stared at him dumbly, speechless and shocked.

"Rory, I thought that we were..."

-"Friends?" he chuckled embarrassingly, attempting to hide how much this conversation was hurting him inside. "Quinn, I got to know you this week... and I'll never deny that I liked what I saw. You're beautiful, inside and out. There's a reason your famous for 'picture perfect beauty'... it's because you are... perfect" he admitted shyly.

"But Rory...I" Quinn carefully reached out and held his hand gently to carefully let the boy down, "Rory I'm engaged. -Puck being gone doesn't change that. I'm sorry...but I love him" she reasoned, hating herself for rejecting a boy so innocent and good to her.

-"I know it was wrong of me. Look, I would really like to stay friends if you'd let me?"

"Really?" Quinn marveled. "Rory you have no idea how much I'd love too!" She exclaimed as she pulled him into a tight hug. As she released him she caught something in his eye behind his soft smile... he wasn't quite finished.

"Rory?" She pushed him to be completely honest.

"I don't know how to say this Quinn, but today... when Blaine delivered the rose you seemed completely enamored with it. As if you knew who had sent it to you. But then..."

-"Then?" Quinn wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"But then you looked to your engagement ring and seemed disappointed and guilty. You walked off quickly after that and I dunno I just guess I needed to ask..."

-Rory knew what he needed to ask, he knew what he needed to ask and he knew the true answer. He just wanted to see if Quinn was willing to admit it to herself. If not, he figured he could at least let her know he would be there for her when she wanted to be honest.

"Rory?" Quinn whispered with terrified tears in her eyes, "what did you need to ask?"

Rory had his chance. Take it or leave it, no matter how it hurt, he knew he had to do this, if he didn't he would forever look back and loathe himself for being selfish and a coward.

-"Quinn, I just needed to ask..." he paused before taking her hand a looking her deeply in the eye, "I needed to ask: when you got that rose, did you think it was from Puck? Or where you assuming it was from..."

He couldn't do it.

-The look in her eyes.

She was terrified.

And deep down he could tell there was a voice inside her denying what he knew already.

"Where you assuming it was from, someone else Quinn?"

Quinn inhaled sharply. She didn't understand it but the strangest notion of relief washed over her as she quickly responded with a smile as she shook her head and ignored her tears.

"Of course I thought it was from Puck! Who else could it be?" she smiled as Rory gave her a questioning look that seemed to contain hidden understanding and sympathy behind it.

"Yeah..." he began, before smiling back to ease the trembling girl, "that's what I figured.

Quinn and Rory shared a smile and another brief hug before Quinn quickly deflected the subject and tried to get back to her work.

"You know Rory, Mr. Shue asked for the song, and we don't have anything..." At this point Quinn was taken back by Rory's bizarre grin that took over his face. It was both adorable and unnerving.

"Remember you told me you aren't quite as musically naïve as everyone thinks? And I told you I was the same, just afraid to stand next to musicians like Blaine, Sam, Finn and Artie?"

Quinn smiled with a raised eyebrow to question the eyebrow Rory rose to peek her curiosity.

-"Well, I was thinking we finally stand with the big leagues" Rory finished proudly.

"Rory I'm not sure, I mean..."

-"Shut up!"

"What?" Quinn struggled to process that one.

"What you think you're the only one to do that?" Rory grinned. "Quinn Fabray, if you don't mind a little hardcore honesty and making fun of the situation that just occurred, then I feel I have just the song".

The two shared a stare off as Quinn questioned, and Rory successfully reassured and managed to persuade Quinn to take a risk. (A risk that would allow for a private joke between the two of them) -Come Glee this afternoon, their peers wouldn't know what hit them.

* * *

><p>As the Glee kids sat upon their favorite red chairs of the day, Will briefly announced that Quinn and Rory were going to 'finally grace everyone with their duet'. -A statement that amused the students including Quinn and Rory who simply chuckled at their own defiance of the task at hand set over a week ago.<p>

The two slowly stood from their chairs at the back of the room and made their way down to the front as the lights dimmed down, with just a small soft lighting shining down in the center of the room.

The two students had stripped their entire wardrobe down in order to display a complete ensemble of honesty and allowing nothing but their raw emotions to shine through the song.

Rachel twiddled with the hemline of her skirt as she looked to the girl who single handedly made every morning harder, but more perfect, without fail. The Cheerleader walked across the room in her tight fitting black Skinny Jeans that while, supposed to envision nothing but purity, had Rachel's mind in the gutter. She wore her hair down and let her blonde waves flow over her shoulders covered by a simple white V-neck T-Shirt. The outfit was supposed to also reflect honesty. -Well, Rachel Barbara Berry could 'honestly' say that at this point in time, she had every mind to run up to the Blonde and mount her like a rabbit on crack (But somehow, she figured the Blonde wouldn't exactly appreciate such a testament).

Rachel strained her eyes to Rory who wore almost the same ensemble: dark blue jeans and a white V-neck T-Shirt. The two were harmonious, and in Rachel's opinion, annoyingly living up to her nickname of Ken and Barbie 2.0. The only difference this time, was that Rory actually had the same hair colour as Ken... a fact that didn't remotely help the stab of jealousy Rachel felt as she took in the perfectly matched 'friends'.

Will was about to ask if they were going to sing acapella, what with the band and Brad lacking from the rehearsal, but quickly shut his mouth before opening it again in shock at the sight of Quinn picking up a dirty brown, cutaway, acoustic guitar before sitting on a stool adjacent to Rory who had positioned himself on the grand piano, looking to Quinn for his cue to start. The entire Glee club found themselves having to bury their shell shock as Rory played a few keys of an intro before Quinn joined in with the guitar.

Rachel couldn't fathom it, the unknown, silent musicians of Glee Club... they were... they were, well... they were good.

The piano ceased as Rory began to sing as he turned to Quinn smiling lovingly as she strummed the guitar to the sound of his voice.

_'I remember the nights we spent under city lights_

_This feelings got the best of me_

_We were floating along to the sounds of a dead end town_

_but now that's just a memory'_

-Suddenly the piano was being played again as Rory turned back to his instrument and Quinn looked up to sing longingly to the boy who had turned away from her, as she continued to strum.

_'I can't figure you out, you've got more fight in you_

_than anybody else_

_And here's the part where I start to make my own damn decisions_

_and make a name for my self'_

As Quinn took on the chorus, Will Schuester and his Glee club began to smile fondly. The students were ashamed for not knowing, but proud of their friends for finally shining their true stars. As Quinn sang the chorus to Rory who played on, she took note to sing the words that she felt were true to their relationship. She adored him as a friend, but she knew deep down that would never change into anything more.

_'I'll never be what you want_

_I wouldn't change any part of me_

_Just to make you stay_

_You had a piece of my heart_

_But not enough to just run away_

_'Cause I know what's best for me'_

Rory turned to face Quinn now, smiling bravely as he accepted the rejected and the promise of a new friendship she offered instead.

_'Take all your big plans and throw them away_

_I've got something in mind before we go separate ways'_

Quinn found herself smiling back into his caring blue eyes as she responded to the boy:

_'We ask the questions baby,'_

This was a statement to which both sang the answer they longed to hear.

_'Who provides the answers?'_

The truth was Quinn longed for the answers more than anyone in that room could ever-possible fathom. She loved Puck. She wanted to marry him. She knew they were supposed to end up together. -So why is it she always awoke at night in a deep sweat from the hidden desires her body seemed to scream to her through her dreams?

As she found her thoughts tracing back to the subject she found she would die denying didn't exist, she found that just this once... she would take Rory's guidance and reach out her questions and fears through the mask of song.

Rachel found her heart pounding as the accompanying music abruptly stopped as Quinn looked out to her with eyes that seemed to be screaming with both tears and fear of feelings inside. -She had never looked more beautiful, and yet more terrified.

_'I'm scared to death and it shows'_

Rory sang out to Quinn the words he knew he would need to accept.

_'The flame burned out, but it glows'_

-To which Quinn continued to communicate to only Rachel as she sang her deepest emotions into the air, as Rory and herself continued to play the instruments once again.

_'And the look in your eyes says things I don't wanna know_

_(It's time to go!)_

_Come closer!_

_And I can't say anything, everything comes out the wrong way'_

As the chorus returned and Rory rocked the piano to Quinn's voice, the student's of Glee began to hold hands, link up and sway to the heartfelt admission.

_'I'll never be what you want_

_I wouldn't change any part of me_

_Just to make you stay_

_You had a piece of my heart_

_But not enough to just run away_

_'Cause I know what's best for me'_

As Quinn struggled to pull away from the emotional brown eyes she found herself finally staring at a glimpse of her true reflection in, Rory joined in to harmonize as her sang to Quinn, knowing that in her heart she would be singing to another. It was the closure he needed to move on and become a true friend to her.

_'Just try, just try a little harder_

_I'll do my best explaining all the things I'm going through_

_Just try, just try a little harder_

_This is why I can't adjust for you'_

Rory echoed the meaning of the last line as Quinn turned to look him in the eye revealing her tears and the truth he had already accepted as he sang as the instruments died out.

_'I can't adjust for you'_

To which Quinn looked to the floor in defeat as she sympathized with what her instincts told her Rory was reaching out to her to be brave enough to also do.

She took a deep breath before blinking away a few tears and bringing her gaze back to the now fully emotionally stilled Rachel. The diva was frozen to the spot as her heart broke as Quinn sang a line that could have just been part of the performance, but felt like so much more as those tearful hazel eyes connected as a vulnerable, soft voice confessed.

_'I can't adjust for you'_

Quinn held back her bravery and returned to Rory's gaze as she sang,

_'You can't say'_

To which the boy painfully swallowed his pride and admitted.

_'The look in your eyes says things I don't wanna know'_

The two then rejoined to finish the duet together following one last line confessing what they both knew each other would bury deep inside.

_'No you, You can't stay_

_I wanna be with you, and no one else_

_I need you to feel the way that you felt that summer night_

_when you found that puzzle piece missing for eight straight weeks_

_You're not the perfect fit_

_I'll never be what you want_

_I wouldn't change any part of me_

_Just to make you stay_

_You had a piece of my heart_

_But not enough to just run away'_

As the music died down Quinn broke the tension and concluded the confession as she tore her eyes back to the Diva, knowing she had to follow in Rory's honest example in order to get past this. She would admit it only once in song, and never again. She knew this was what was right. She loved Puck and would marry him and start the family they had always wanted.

Rachel found her gaze pooling into Quinn's as the Blonde returned to her one last time before the choir room erupted in applause, as Quinn sang one last line to her. A line Rachel knew wasn't as innocent as it seemed. The look in Quinn's eyes was definitely communicating something to her now. She just wished she knew what was going through the cheerleaders mind as she sang the line...

_'Cause I know what's best for me'_

* * *

><p><strong><em>BOOM. Did you hear that? That was me collapsing on the floor due to the speed in which I produced, and the amount of which I just produced; for you... my darlings.<em>**

**_-Now I'm sure asking won't encourage you to do something you weren't planning on doing anyway, but I can only plead for you to PLEASE, PLEASE, REVIEW! I love to read them and as you can tell, when I receive numerous reviews, favorites and alerts; it truly does motivated me to write faster and more eagerly for you guys._**

**_-Oh and before I forget, the prologue is now 2 MONTHS AWAY! What happened? Who happened? Why happened- okay that was appalling grammar I know, but I wanted to be dramatic. Please give me your ideas and wishes, as IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE THE ENDING! _**

**_-Unless I already published it, in which case...no offence... but you're an idiot.  
><em>**

**_The songs I used here were 'Here in Your Arms' by Hellogoodbye, as well as 'Never Be What You Want' by We Are The In Crowd.  
><em>**


	11. Undisclosed Desires

**C**_**hapter 10- Undisclosed Desires**_

'Actually, it just makes you human', is a phrase that I've always believed to be a simple reassuring translation of 'you just made a big mistake'.

Now everybody makes them, this is general knowledge that we all learn to take with us throughout our life to feel better when we screw up. But to understand the true meaning of the word, I feel you would better suffice from some real life examples. Luckily for you, in the months leading up to my unfortunate death, there was more than just a few being made.

Now the English dictionary defines a mistake as: an error in action, calculation, opinion or judgment; caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, or even just insufficient knowledge. So basically, like I said, a mistake is simply a translation of "you just majorly screwed up!"

But to make you really see, maybe it would just be best for you to see those 'real life examples' that I promised?

-It started, like any other mistake... with the influence of alcohol, and a lot of it.'

* * *

><p><em>April (Senior Year)<em>

"Hello Miss Berry!" Kurt Hummel staggered over to the diva and sloppily threw his arm around her.

"Hello Mr. Kurt!" The equally inebriated Brunette shouted above the booming speakers.

"Does it taste like pink yet?" Kurt giggled as he pointed to the red plastic cup in Rachel's fingers.

"Nope!" She responded after a moment's hesitation with a drunk and dreamy look upon her face.

"Nope?" Kurt was almost disappointed.

"Nope...it tastes like QUINN!"

-Well that did it. The laughter and noise silenced as everybody in the room stared at the diva's unfortunately loud confession. Originally after their win at Regional's against Dalton Academy and Vocal Adrenaline, Rachel was so ecstatic from the performance that she happily accepted Kurt's elaborate request to make the most of her free house with a Friday night rager.

As a matter of fact Rachel was so ecstatic from New Directions win, that she even invited all of Vocal Adrenaline and the Dalton Academy Warblers to join in on the party as a sign of good faith. -After all, it seemed not even her ridiculous wallowing of self-pity over her love for Quinn Fabray could ruin her mood. They did it; Glee Club had taken out two of their main competition and was off to New York in their final year! Nothing could ruin the high the kids of New Directions were feeling.

Or at least that's what Rachel thought.

But then Rachel drank.

And Rachel drank well.

And now Rachel found herself in a minor crossroads of humiliation. A humiliation that became worse by the second as the crowd all turned to face the diva that was sat on the stage in her basement leaning on a wide mouthed Kurt Hummel. A humiliation that hit rock bottom as one voice broke free from the crowd.

-"What did you just say Rachel?" A ghost faced Quinn Fabray stood from where she sat on the basement stairs. Santana and Rory found themselves unable to take their eyes away from the on going tennis match of switching gaze between the Blonde and the Brunette. They remained sat on the stairs as Quinn rose as slowly walked away from their company, and towards the basement stage... Her expression and colour of her skin truly brought new meaning to the time Jesse St James told her she was reminiscent of the Ghost of Grace Kelly.

Rachel found her droopy eyes suddenly awake with realization. She didn't mean to do that. She most certainly wasn't supposed to say that. As she found her dark brown eyes met with confused hazel ones, Rachel found she was suddenly ambushed with her opportunity to at last tell the truth to Quinn.

* * *

><p><em>(3 Hours Earlier)<em>

The sound of the kegs being rolled in by Sam and Finn alerted Rachel that this was really happening. The music playlist had started, drinks had already been poured for a few people upstairs that arrived early, and Finn and Sam were now taking a swig of their freshly poured beers before high-fiving to celebrate the party about to commence.

Rachel found herself biting her lip anxiously, what if people didn't have fun? What if the party was lame? What if everybody left early? These were questions Rachel never got chance to consider as the doorbell told her she had ran out of time to back out.

The Glee Club arrived first, and an hour later both the Warblers and Vocal Adrenaline had begun to pour into the Berry household, all-eager to finally party without the stress of being each others competitors. Rachel fiddled with the hemline of her outfit as she looked into the mirror in her hallway.

Her hair was down and tousled into neat curls, while her dark eye make-up screamed sexy (a new look that was a result of becoming closer with Santana Lopez). Rachel finished her outfit with a sinfully short, strapless, dark blue dress and matching heels. The outfit was designed with a Lopez and Hummel seal of 'hot' approval.

But looking fabulous wasn't helping her nerves; Rachel found that at the rate she was going she was likely to put a hole in her bottom lip as a result of her stress.

"Whoa Rach, calm it will you?" As a gentle hand touched her shoulder, Rachel span around to find a smiling friend in the form of Sam Evans looking back at her.

"You bite your lip anymore and you'll have a hole in it!" he laughed as Rachel reluctantly released her lower lip.

"I guess I'm just nervous..." she found herself shyly admitting.

"Rach you have no need to be. The party is awesome. The people are actually getting along! -You know it turns out some of the Vocal Adrenaline guys invited me to a hockey game next week? Those guys are actually pretty cool when their not throwing eggs and kicking our ass!" Sam chuckled as he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

"Really?" Rachel pushed.

"Really" Sam reassured. "Rach, you look beautiful, so stop panicking and enjoy yourself. I can't believe I'm suggesting this but maybe you need to try the Puckerman remedy..."

"The Puckerman reme-" She responded with a curious expression.

-"The Puckerman remedy." Sam finished, as he pushed a red plastic cup full of beer in front of his friends face.

"I normally advice against large amounts of alcohol, but if you're this nervous... maybe you'd better give it a shot just this once" Sam spoke with a soft, comforting smile as Rachel cautiously eyed the drink in her hand.

"Oh and Rach?" Sam called just before he headed back down to the basement and the heart of the party.

"Sam?" Rachel asked with a mocking smirk.

"You look great, don't get me wrong, but... Just don't be doing all this to impress the person I think your trying to impress, okay?" Rachel gulped back her guilt and avoided her reflection of admission in the mirror as her eyes told Sam that despite all his words of wisdom, Rachel was still longing after a love that could only end in a tragedy that led to somebody's heart breaking.

"You don't need her to think your beautiful Rach, you always were", and with that Sam left the stunned Rachel lost in her thoughts as she stood dumbly by the front door, trying to push aside her thoughts of longing for just one night.

'Okay Rachel, just give it a try... One night only you follow the Puckerman remedy. Just one night of booze, and you can have one night without obsessing over how pretty Quinn is when she smiles... or when she laughs, or speaks, or even just- STOP IT!'

Having already failed to push the Blonde out of her head, Rachel closed her eyes and swigged half of the drink in her hands. The diva promised herself, that for tonight, she would loose all inhabitations and just live.

But living would have to wait according to fate it seemed as the doorbell sounded. Rachel resumed her Hollywood smile and straightened her posture before grasping the door handle and smiling as she was brought face to face with a grinning Britney, an already drunk Rory and...

As Rachel's eyes took in her presence, she found them slowly taking in every aspect of her appearance.

The long golden hair let loose in a head ribbon accessory that screamed both hippy and 'Britney touched my hair' in the same sentence.

The short cut, flowing white dress that Rachel had borrowed on Christmas Eve.

Golden heels that forced the eyes to drape up those long legs and painfully take in the entire pain-stakenly stunning appearance. -And finally, those piercing hazel eyes spoke to the Diva, now deliciously dark amongst smoky eye make-up.

Rachel couldn't help it, and neither could Quinn. As Britney and Rory hugged the diva and obliviously went past her to enter the party, Quinn found herself unable to look away from Rachel's intoxicating gaze. Before both girls could control it, they were beaming smiles of happiness as they found themselves forgetting the confusion, forgetting the pain, and simply being grateful they had the opportunity to be a part of one another's lives.

"So, do I have to stand here all day, or are we going to have some fun Rachel?" Quinn husked, well she probably simply spoke, but Rachel found herself convinced from only half a cup of beer that Quinn was horrifically sexed up and flirting and husking her voice.

Rachel failed to respond, instead she closed her eyes and chugged the remainder of her beer.

"Woo!" Quinn threw her arms in the air excitedly, "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

* * *

><p><em>(Two Hours Later)<em>

The party was in full swing. While Rachel had managed to stay clear of Quinn for the most part of the night, it seemed she 'accidentally' kept finding her way into the Blonde's radar no matter how much the two secretly tried to distance themselves and their feelings from one another.

It started with when Santana and Quinn challenged one another to tequila shots. Then Rory asked to join and Rachel concluded that it would be 'morally' wrong not to make it an even number. -She wasn't trying to be near Quinn, no... She was just being a moral citizen.

Or like when Rachel found herself going to get yet another drink and Quinn just happened to be at the mini-bar with some Warbler whose eyes were permanently fixed on Quinn's chest. Now, if Rachel hadn't have been staring at Quinn's chest she never would have spotted the pervert and wouldn't of been able to protect Quinn from leering eyes that Puck wouldn't want. -She wasn't staring at Quinn's boobs, no... She was simply being a good friend to Puck.

As it was, it seemed that all of the 'incidents' that caused the two girls to be inseparable all night despite their initial intentions, were almost, if not 'all', down to Rachel allowing the alcohol to make excuses for her. It was also because of the alcohol that Quinn decided that after spending two hours unsuccessfully distancing herself from the Diva, the universe (and clearly not her inner-conscious and the alcohol) was in fact telling her that she was supposed to hang out with Rachel tonight.

It took two hours of excuses, and a heroic amount of alcohol, before both girls had forgotten that when the night started, they had been intending to avoid each other completely.

But in this current moment however, it seemed for the first time of the night Rachel had no idea where Quinn had gone. The Blonde had completely slipped off her radar. The lights were suddenly turned off, and nothing but the colourful rays of Rachel's disco lights were illuminating the room. As Rachel placed down her drink and looked out into the crowd that filled her basement... that she found herself staring out into a dark sea of teenage lust and hormones gone wild.

Bodies grinded and molded together in searing lip locks as the atmosphere reached a high and the party became one that no one would forget, but few would remember the actual events of, thanks to the mass of alcohol being consumed.

The truth was Rachel felt the ecstasy of life running through her veins, in that moment alone she felt so utterly alive and untouchable, she found that 'Puck's remedy' was perhaps her new best friend.

It was only as a soft hand slipped into hers that she was pulled out of her trance, and into the sea of sexual desire amongst the dancing in the darkness. Through the flickering lights she followed the hand that led her through the crowd and into the center of the makeshift dance floor. As she found another hand slipping around her neck and a voice sounding seductively into her ear, Rachel found her own arms wrapping around that small waist pressed against her own body as both souls found they had lost all control.

"Dance with me Rachel" as the face pulled away from her neck and revealed dark hazel eyes burning back into her own furious gaze, Rachel witnessed a flicker of light dancing across the face of Quinn Fabray...standing exactly where Rachel had dreamed of her standing for so many agonizing months now.

Rachel found herself desperately trying to remember that this was Quinn she was pressed against, but somehow the information did nothing to stop her dancing slowly and seductively with the Cheerleader to the low beat of the music.

_'Feet don't fail me now_

_Take me to the finish line_

_All my heart, it breaks every step that I take_

_But I'm hoping that the gates,_

_They'll tell me that you're mine'_

As Quinn found herself burying her face into Rachel's neck, secretly loving the Diva's high heels that brought the two girls to an equal height. She found herself smirking as she heard the lyrics of Lana Del Ray, describing her every feeling in the moment. She couldn't reason it, she certainly couldn't explain it, but the more she drank and the more she lost control of her actions... the closer she seemed to want to be... to Rachel.

As Quinn's fingers danced across Rachel's shoulder blades, Rachel found her skin burning at the touch. With every touch to her skin, Quinn unknowingly burned the touch into Rachel's memory, as the Diva found herself remembering how Quinn was just drunk, and how come tomorrow, this would all be just a distant memory to the Cheerleader. Rachel preserved the warmth and yet equally painful sting of having Quinn so close, so that when she inevitably let go, Rachel would be able to recall and marvel at the way the Cheerleader had the power to make her feel. -Simply with a touch to her skin.

_'Come and take a walk on the wild side_

_Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain_

_You like your girls insane_

_Choose your last words_

_This is the last time_

_Cause you and I, we were born to die'_

As Quinn nuzzled her head deeper into Rachel's neck and the warmth it gave her; she suddenly found herself overcome with awareness of how close her lips were to Rachel's skin.

This was wrong.

But it hurt to be so close but so far away.

She found herself unconsciously licking her lips.

She found her eyes slipping shut as she felt the entire room fade away.

There was only her and Rachel.

Dancing intimately despite how wrong her head screamed the entire arrangement was.

She shouldn't be here.

She shouldn't do this.

She shouldn't even consider what she found her body was already doing for her as before Quinn knew it, she found her lips pressing against soft, tender skin that burned her at the touch. A touch that burned her, yet ached her body to touch again.

Quinn would probably of pulled away and realized what she had done before running away...probably. -But the sound of the husky moan that Rachel sang into her ear pleaded to her to that Rachel's body also ached for her to do it again.

Rachel found herself completely enchanted by the surrealism of the moment. If this was a dream, or if it was just a moment of drunken stupidity, she didn't care. Rachel would savor as much as she could before she woke up from this heaven that set her body alight.

As the two rocked their bodies to the beat, Quinn found her body scorching with the desire to reach out and take more. She craved it, she desired it, and she needed it.

Quinn then found herself unable to stifle the low moan of pleasure as she felt Rachel's lips lightly brush her ear and husk the request she needed to hear.

"Please Quinn...more"

Within seconds of her drunken request, Rachel found her fingers digging into Quinn's lower back as she bit down onto the Blonde's shoulder, unable to control the pleasure she expressed as she felt Quinn's lips lightly nibble her neck.

The eager frustration Rachel displayed simply urged the Blonde further, as she found herself licking, sucking, and biting into Rachel's tanned flesh as she savored every taste.

Rachel found herself overcome with only one thought in the moment, and that was her overwhelming desire to taste Quinn the way she was currently tasting Rachel. She ran her fingers slowly up Quinn's back, taking note of the smooth divine texture of the porcelain skin that soothed and burned her with every touch.

Sirens rang in Rachel's head as she ignored the screams of her conscious telling her Quinn was drunk, incredibly drunk and that this was simply a fun game of experimentation to her. Quinn seemed to have lost all inhibitions over her body and Rachel knew as her fingers danced through Quinn's hair, that should she move into finally taste those perfect lips, the chances of remaining discreet and nobody seeing were slim to none.

-"Miss FABRAY!"

And there it was, Rachel knew that while she was drunk, mainly on Quinn- the Blonde was clearly wasted as she hastily pulled away from the stunned Brunette and span to the sound of her name being called.

"Miss Fabray!" Mike Chang obliviously laughed into the air full of sexual tension and Rachel's sexual frustration, as he bowed at the Blonde's feet drunkenly.

"Mr. CHANG!" Quinn beamed back at her friend and attempted to curtsey but simply staggered before giggling as she attempted to regain her stance.

-Rachel was in shock.

-Pure, richly aroused, shock.

-Quinn was equally aroused, but simply oblivious where Rachel felt shock.

Rachel tried to understand the unreal sudden scene transition as suddenly here were Mike and Quinn making joke Prince and Princess gestures to one another, in mockery of how they were both in the running from Prom King and Queen.

"My lady" Mike hiccuped as he swigged from his beer and got down on one knee.

"Why thank you my Mike!" Quinn giggled as she gave him her hand to kiss, but as he kissed her knuckles Quinn found her body unable to control the outburst of laughter in realizing she would much rather be dancing with Rachel and kissing her than having Mike kiss her hand. It was laughing at the thought that caused her to stumble backwards into Rachel and to then lose her footing completely as the two girls tumbled to the floor with a loud thump of bodies crashing together.

The loud crash came with the sound of concerned gasps and the music abruptly stopping as the room waited to see if the girls were okay from the seemingly painful fall.

A silence filled the air until...

"WOO! -I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY I WAS DOWN THERE!" Quinn shrieked in laughter as she shot back up to her feet, and the crowd cheered as she grasped the fallen diva's hand and pulled the startled girl to her feet, before throwing their joined hands in the air to erupt more cheers from the crowd at the sight of the two girls being okay.

Rachel found her elevation of having Quinn all over her, falling to the ground entwined with the Blonde, and then publicly appalled as she happily joined hands with the social Queen; more than just a little overwhelming. But she found herself immediately regretting not marveling in the feeling quicker as suddenly Quinn's warm body was no longer joined to hers as the Blonde danced towards Rory and Santana armed with more drinks over by the stairs.

Tonight would be a long night.

Rachel would need a lot more of Puck's remedy if she wanted to survive it alive.

"Woah would you live any mixer with your alcohol there Berry?" Kurt laughed as he saw Rachel throwing the vodka into a cup and quickly chugging the burning liquid down in an attempt to get as drunk as Quinn so she could be just as carefree.

"Actually I just wanted to see if I drank enough, if the booze would taste like pink again!" Rachel quipped with a grin to the amused Kurt.

"Lady, if you achieve it, let me know!" The boy laughed as he danced back into the crowd and Rachel continued to attempt to catch up Quinn on the drinks tally.

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

-"What did you just say Rachel?" A ghost faced Quinn Fabray stood from where she sat on the basement stairs. Santana and Rory found themselves unable to take their eyes away from the on going tennis match of switching gaze between the Blonde and the Brunette. They remained sat on the stairs as Quinn rose as slowly walked away from their company, and towards the basement stage... Her expression and colour of her skin truly brought new meaning to the time Jesse St James told her she was reminiscent of the Ghost of Grace Kelly.

Rachel found her droopy eyes suddenly awake with realization. She didn't mean to do that. She most certainly wasn't supposed to say that. As she found her dark brown eyes met with confused hazel ones, Rachel found she was suddenly ambushed with her opportunity to at last tell the truth to Quinn.

'Oh Crap' didn't cut it.

'Holy Streisand wasn't enough'

Not even a cry to the divine 'Garbo' could save her now.

She had just announced to the entire party her own Freudian Slip about how she had been daydreaming about what Quinn would taste like.

The truth was the more Rachel had drank over the last hour, the more she had found the alcohol would taste however she imagined it should. -And at that moment that Kurt had asked, well... Rachel had concluded it tasted like Quinn.

She had then proceeded to announce that to the entire party, including Quinn; who even through her drunken stagger, managed to walk over to Rachel with a dumbfound expression and repeat...

"What did you just say Rachel?"

Here it was.

The moment.

The billboard, Sam's advice, the constant avoiding of emotion and explosion of feelings...it all came down to this moment. It was time Rachel bit down her pride and finally gave into the honesty she had kept out of the light for so long now.

"I said it taste like Quinn?" Rachel found that by questioning herself as she spoke, the silence seemed to grow thicker and the look of drunken confusion on Quinn's face on magnified.

Rachel felt herself stop. Yet again even with the protection of the grand influence of alcohol, Quinn had successfully stopped time around her. Rachel was frozen as she awaited the undoubtedly humiliating and crushing verdict.

She watched as Quinn's expression melted into something completely unreadable. It was almost as if Quinn was deciding her next move, 'hit Rachel or kill Rachel' the Diva concluded.

But as Quinn reached out and Rachel closed her eyes in fear of the cruel slap of rejection, she slowly opened her eyes upon realization that Quinn had just taken Rachel's drink off her and was now tasting the culprit of the silence.

As Rachel and the rest of the room waited in anticipation, Rachel felt as though not even a pool full of Puck's remedy could save her now. Now even a-

"Huh" Quinn's surprised gasp broke Rachel of her thoughts as she looked on to the Blonde who eyes the drink she had just tasted before looking back out to the crowd with a menacing smirk.

Rachel awaited the outcry.

Quinn was taunting her. The entire situation was beyond torture.

It was just plain cruel.

It was-

"She's right! -It does taste like me!" Quinn threw the drink into the air as the crowd all began to cheer on the life of the party as she bowed proudly before turning back around to Rachel and winking almost seductively before beaming her adorable smile and returning to Rory and Santana.

Rachel couldn't fathom it. I mean, yes she was horrifically drunk and could barely stand but...had Quinn just openly flirted with her? Again? -Never mind the way, even when intoxicated, Quinn had managed to save Rachel from becoming the lowest of social rejects and instead crowned her a party legend. People spent the rest of the night constantly wanting to talk to her. They found her hilarious.

The entire prospect of this rare popularity was completely unreasonable to Rachel. Yet every time she glanced to Quinn for understanding, the Blonde would simply smile sweetly in return as if to say, 'of course they love you...who wouldn't?'

-Rachel felt alive, she felt loved... yet despite all this, she still found herself unable to forget the fact that she could have sworn when Quinn winked at her, she had seen the dark tell tale sign of arousal in the other girls eyes.

'Rachel you are being ridiculous! Quinn was just complemented that you had clearly been thinking about her, who wouldn't be? After all, why would Quinn ever be aroused by Rachel Barbara Berry... after all, she has Puck'.

But what Rachel would never know, was that the reason Quinn remained distant for the remainder of the party, was because the Blonde (even through her drunken haze) couldn't look at Rachel without becoming increasingly wet at the thought of Rachel imagining her taste.

But luckily for Quinn, Rachel would never know.

* * *

><p>"Slumber party!" Quinn cried with joy as she lay on Rachel's hallway, failing miserably to get to Rachel's room where she was now (thanks to Santana ringing the girl's mum and explaining that 'Quinnie' was to drunk to drive home) staying the night.<p>

"Quinn!" Rachel fumbled as she walked, or rather staggered down the hallway after realizing the Blonde had failed to follow her to her room. "Quinn we need to shhh! We need to be quiet!"

Rachel began to press her finger to her lips and crept to the floor where Quinn had happily decided was her bed for the night.

"Rachel! Your dads aren't in! Why are we being stealth?" Quinn giggled as she rolled onto her back to look to the Brunette now lying beside her on the hallway floor.

"Because, its more FUN!" Rachel snickered immaturely.

"Okay, lets be stealth!" Quinn agreed before suddenly getting to her knees to then roly poly into Rachel's bedroom.

Rachel giggled at the Blonde's antics before attempting to copy her. She got half way through a roly poly before giving up at her lacking co-ordination and choosing to then run to her room.

"Quinn! You suck, I wish I could roly p-" Rachel immediately stopped in her, albeit wasted, tracks as she looked at the compromising position she was in.

Quinn had somehow managed to end up, completely passed out in her bed despite Rachel originally intending to avoid the girl.

How it had happened, Rachel hadn't a clue, but apparently, alcohol has that effect or so she had been told.

Half of her wanted to run and panic, but then again this was her house. Although due to the effects and Dutch courage the alcohol had provided her, Rachel found herself more than willing to listen to the other half of her body that told her to relax and just act normal.

As Rachel carefully took off her dress and simply threw a T-Shirt over her bra and underwear, she tumbled onto her bed and snuck under the covers. She then reached out and switched off her lamp, leaving the two girls in the complete harsh truth the night brought with its darkness. Despite being hyper aware of Quinn Fabray being in her bed, Rachel knew she was beyond drunk, and she was beyond likely to screw up should she wake the peacefully sleeping Blonde. As a solution, the Diva concluded that she would continue to face away from Quinn and stare into the darkness to avoid the horrendous amount of temptation she found herself aroused with.

Only a few minutes of bitter silence had passed before Rachel heard the soft unsatisfied grunt of a sleepy Quinn Fabray behind her, rustling in the bed sheets as she fought with the covers to find comfort.

Rachel longed to turn around and watch the frustrated Blonde in what she was sure was an amusing moment of sleepy haze, but the pounding heart-rate in her chest told her not to.

Unfortunately for the Singer though, it seemed Quinn had other plans as Rachel felt a soft and tender touch as Quinn slipped her arm around her waist and entwined her bare legs against Rachel's. The touch alone sent electricity and desire burning through Rachel and bursting from her core, she wanted her with every fiber of her being yet she found she was utterly powerless. Quinn was asleep and not aware of what she was doing, Rachel couldn't do that to her, Quinn deserved better.

But once again Rachel found her body tensing, as it seemed Quinn had other plans yet again. The girl began to slowly dig her nails against Rachel's torso as the Diva found Quinn pressing Rachel closer to her. As Quinn's nails scratched at Rachel's skin, the Diva buried her face into her pillow to stifle an escaping moan from her T-Shirt riding up slightly and Quinn's delicate fingers making contact with her naked skin.

As Rachel struggled to compose herself she found her desire suddenly vividly thrown into new heights as Quinn nuzzled into her, and pushed her front against Rachel's back.

And that was when Rachel felt it.

That was when she realized.

Quinn was only wearing her (perfect lace) matching bra and underwear.

She was practically being sleep grinded by a practically naked Quinn Fabray.

It was to much.

But that's when she felt something else.

Rachel found her entire body tensing as she tried to hold in the frustration leaking from her, now throbbing, core; but instead found herself unable to hold back a moan at yet a further new development.

Rachel new what she heard. Rachel knew what she felt, all alcohol aside.

Rachel bit her lip anxiously as she heard the soft moan of one impeccably sexual Quinn Fabray being hummed into her pillow as Rachel felt the Blonde's impeccably hardened nipples pressed against her own back.

-That's when it hit Rachel... Quinn was awake?

She froze to the spot, and the sudden harsh tense of her posture froze the dancing fingers on her torso.

"Quinn?" She breathed a terrified whisper into the night.

When she was met with silence, Rachel found the alcohol that remained in her system taking over her skin as she slowly twister to face Quinn, being careful not to lose the closeness between the two (drunk, but nevertheless incredibly aroused) young females.

When she reached her destination she was terrified of what to expect, but instead she was met face to face with dark, insecure and trembling eyes. Quinn was trembling at the realization of what she and Rachel had just shared. But Rachel didn't want to see the girl so vulnerable. So far she realized a drunk Quinn had dictated all the moments of the night between them. Well now, Rachel decided that a drunk Rachel would finally get her turn.

And with that, Quinn closed her eyes and gasped before marveling as Rachel leaned in to connect the remaining distance between them through their lips. Quinn found herself unable to process, while Rachel found herself unable to believe that this soft heaven was her finally being able to touch Quinn Fabray. It was too much. Quinn failed to respond as Rachel pulled away, and looked into terrified and trembling hazel eyes of clear conflict and confusion.

Morally, Rachel should have realized Quinn was still engaged. Morally, she should have understood that this was wrong, even if they were both confused and drunk. But in reality, Rachel never left the moment to even allow the opportunity to consider morals.

Instead she gently reached out to push a stray hair back into place before caressing the Blonde's cheek to ease the other girls clear fears, even if just for a moment.

"So that's what you taste like" she chuckled softly as Quinn furrowed her eyebrows in disbelief and awe of the moment and how calm Rachel could make her with one touch and just a few gentle words.

As she saw the Blonde about to smile in response, Rachel concluded that too much time had been wasted as she pushed their lips back together. The kiss was soft, tender, and despite the level of tequila involved it was still well placed. -They both just seemed to fit.

Rachel took her time, not wanting to scare the Blonde away, even through her lack of morality she had at least remembered how this very moment went against everything Quinn had been raised to believe. Although the second she felt Quinn begin to kiss back, Rachel found a new confidence, and with it passion, erupt from within her. The kiss quickly became heated as Rachel dug her hands into Quinn's hair and Quinn moaned as she tried to feel all of Rachel's skin at once.

They needed air. But they found they needed each other more as Rachel pushed herself onto her elbows and straddled the Cheerleader, making sure never to break apart her mouth from Quinn's delicious lips for even a second. But even as Quinn's hand slipped into Rachel's locks, and Rachel's own hands began to explore Quinn's body; the girls found the contact still wasn't enough. Not after months of secret longing and denial, they would never be able to get enough...but Rachel found herself eager to try.

She pushed Quinn's hand's above her head before quickly taking the opportunity to remove her own T-Shirt so that they were on more than equal territory.

As Quinn gasped at Rachel's sexy tanned physique, Rachel quickly plunged into Quinn's neck, determined to get the Blonde back for earlier that night when the Blonde had tasted her skin in public. Quinn moan angelically almost immediately at the realization she could feel the Diva's tongue against her skin. Her hands gripped Rachel tighter and she found her body beginning to unconsciously thrust up into the Diva currently dominating her body.

Rachel carefully took note of the delicious taste of Quinn's skin as she slowly licked from the Blonde's collarbone and up to her ear before nibbling on it lightly. Quinn dug her nails deeply into Rachel's abs at the bite, and found herself unable to fight back yet another moan at the explosion of feeling the singer had her overcome with in this moment.

Rachel seized her opportunity as Quinn moan to gain entrance to the Blonde's mouth as her tongue found itself fighting Quinn's for power. Rachel found her hands wandering further and further as she began to lightly tease the underside of Quinn's black lace bra, and her other hand slowly tiptoed up the Cheerleaders inner thigh.

In that moment it seemed neither girl had any thought as to what they were doing, what was happening or even why. But as Rachel's finger felt the drenched underwear of the girl she currently straddled she shuddered at the realization that the Blonde's black lace thong was the only thing that separated her and Quinn anymore. Her fingers were just about to push the material aside when...

"Rachel, please...stop." -The sound of Quinn's conflicted whisper halted Rachel as suddenly realization had just thrown itself into the air.

She had just tried to have sex with Quinn.

After almost a year of waiting, she got drunk and tried to have her on the spot.

Rachel had betrayed Puck, one of the few guys to ever treat her like she mattered.

"I shouldn't of done that...any of that...I'm so sorry" Quinn gasped as she rolled out from Rachel.

Rachel tried to interrupt to correct the Blonde but Quinn cut her off directly.

"-Look, I love Puck, and I don't know why I did that...he didn't deserve it. He's perfect I just...I think I just miss him" she began to cry and she turned away from Rachel, the night again revealing how broken Quinn was to the Diva.

Rachel felt ashamed. She felt heartbroken. She felt like a monster.

-But above all her conflictions, Rachel could see the outline of a distraught Quinn on the other side of her bed. It was enough. Rachel found that despite everything, that same need to protect and comfort the Blonde became her only priority in the moment.

So Rachel simply leaned beck down onto the bed, nuzzled close to the shaking Blonde; and held her as they she cried them both to sleep. They finally fell asleep embraced in each other's comfort. Quinn overcome with guilt and shame, amongst an overwhelming confusion. -While Rachel had secretly hid her tears of heartbreak and rejection from the girl as she had hugged her tightly until she slept.

* * *

><p><em>(The Next Morning)<em>

"Good Morning OHIO! The birds are singing, the tree's are whistling and- oh wait, no their not ...Because we're in OHIO! But that doesn't stop this morning being fantastic as you decided to wake up next to me, your host-"

As the tanned arm flew our of the covers and whacked the snooze on the alarm, Rachel Barbara Berry found that for once, she didn't want to jump excitedly out of bed to make the most of her day.

All Rachel could feel was an overwhelming hangover from an alarming amount that she must of drank the night before. She wriggled and stretched as she yawned only to feel her leg collide with something... the grunt from beside her told her it was a sleeping person who she had just kicked.

'I have someone in my bed?' Rachel didn't no whether she had accidentally gotten drunk and ruined the friendship she had built with Finn out of sheer loneliness, of whether she had called Jesse out of sheer loneliness or if she- well, I'm sure you get the idea.

But as Rachel turned around to see scrunched up and grumpily sleeping Blonde beside her, she found her initial thoughts thrown into the gutter, and quite literally the gutter as she suddenly realized (and quickly lifted the covers to double check) to conclude that, 'Quinn Fabray is in my bed. IN NOTHING BUT HER UNDERWEAR!

Oh lordy. Oh all that is Meryl Streep why am I in my underwear? -Is this some new slumber party rule I forgot?

Or is this just the result of Sam making me drink that stupid Puck's remedy?

Oh hey Rachel, we all know how deeply you're in love with Quinn so we figured you should drink a lot and then have to wake up next to her in your freaking underwear!

Yup...that's just fantastic. That's just PEACHY! That's just-'

And that's when it all came back in a moment of flashes of a drunken haze.

The Dancing.

The Dirty Dancing.

The blurred image of a stunning Quinn winking devilishly at her.

The feeling of Quinn's hand as she led her up the stairs.

The suddenly jolt of electricity in feeling Quinn reaching out to her in the comfort of the dark.

The scared look in those hazel eyes.

The taste of her lips.

The feel of her skin.

The surge of confidence and sexuality from just being allowed to touch her.

...the rejection as she sobered slightly and chose Puck.

The heartache.

The desperation to cling onto the crying Blonde as she hid her own tears and ignored the aching within her own chest.

It all came back in flashes. It wasn't a dream. It really happened. Before Rachel could understand she had made a dash out of her own house for air, quickly putting on a tank top, some pajama pants and slippers before grabbing her coat and bolting out the door to try to remember how to breathe.

She had blown it. She had ruined everything. Quinn was going to wake up and hate her as she had taken advantage of her last night. -Sure she remembered Quinn apologizing over and over convinced it was all her fault, but it wasn't and Rachel knew that. Truthfully, Rachel was the one who had deeper feelings. Rachel was the one who had kissed Quinn despite these feeling and the thought of Noah in the back of her mind.

Rachel knew that she was the one who had kissed her. She was the one who quite literally pinned her to the bed and almost had sex with her there and then.

Quinn was drunk, and Quinn was lonely. Quinn felt awful for a mistake that just made her human. Rachel was the one who should have felt guilty. Rachel was the one who cared about Quinn too much for her to ever forget anything that happened and just put it down to a mistake.

Rachel knew what she had to do. She would take an hour or so to leave Quinn to sleep as she came to terms with what she had done. She would then return to her house and face the music. She would face the end of the best friendship she had ever had, and lose the love of her life, from her life...forever.

* * *

><p>As Rachel walked up to her driveway she took a moment to take in one last breath of fresh air before she swallowed sadness and face the inevitably sad music that awaited her. But instead as she came to her drive way she simply saw Santana walk out of her house with a freshly showered and bizarrely smiling Quinn.<p>

"Yo Tumble Wax!" The Latina shouted with a smile that only served to confuse Rachel further.

"-Santana, I told you...call her by her name?" Quinn corrected as she playfully hit the Latina's arm and the two friends shared a giggle.

Rachel stood there in her coat and pajamas completely dumbstruck Quinn was acting perfectly fine.

"Rachel! Last night was amazing! -At least I think, honestly don't remember much, but my full inbox this morning told me it was anyway" the Blonde giggled as she walked to Santana's car and threw her bag in the passenger seat before walking back up the driveway to the diva.

"I just have...well...it's sort of embarrassing actually," Quinn finished as she quickly checked to make sure Santana was in the drivers seat and not paying attention.

"Rachel, I woke in your bed, a little 'lacking' in clothing...did I do anything stupid last night?"

-Just like that Rachel was hit like a deer in headlights with the humiliating reality. Quinn didn't remember her. After everything, all the emotions... Rachel holding her as she cried despite the agony it put the Diva in, after all that, Quinn didn't remember her.

She wanted to cry. She couldn't explain it, she still had her friend and life... yet thought that it was all so meaningless to Quinn, well...it hurt. It hurt Rachel more than when she had to watch Quinn promise herself to someone else, when Shelby rejected her, when Finn chose Quinn over her; it hurt more than any of them.

But in that moment, as Quinn awaited her answer, she found Rachel starring utterly dumbfound in response. Rachel had to get away, she had to get Quinn away before she saw everything.

"...n...No. Quinn you were a little drunk, but you didn't do anything". She finally forced through her tight throat before looking to her feet to avert her gaze to anything but this.

"Oh, that's a relief! You can't imagine how worried I was when I woke in your bed and in my... well, I'm sure you can imagine!" Quinn laughed, "But anyway, we have to head off to Cheerio's practice before Coach kills us both but, give me a call if you need help cleaning up later okay?" Quinn reached out to gently squeeze Rachel's shoulder but withdrew her hand when a cold chill flashed through her and Rachel visibly flinched at her touch... it hurt.

"Erm well, I guess I'll be off then?" Quinn mumbled, wrestling between giving Rachel space or dragging her to practice with her so she could find out what had happened to her, "Bye?"

As the car drove off, Rachel's feet couldn't run through the door fast enough. She felt alone, she felt defeated. -And as her back slid down the inside of the front door she allowed herself to crumple to the floor as the agonizing pain made itself known.

Rachel curled into a ball and cried, she had no idea how long for. She knew it must a have been hours though as Sam let himself in through the back at lunch, as promised to help clean up; but as soon as he saw her he dropped the bin bags and ran to the door. Rachel couldn't even break free of her crippled state to melt into his arms that protectively wrapped around her.

-She was lost. She was broken. But above anything, the only thing that went through Rachel's mind was...

'She doesn't even remember me'.

* * *

><p><em>(Monday)<em>

As Rachel shut her locker she fought the will to cry on the spot. Just knowing she had gone a full day without even seeing Quinn was torture. She had spend the entire of Saturday crying as a confused Sam, struggled to help her. Eventually he lifted her in his arms and carried her to bed, before exiting her room to clean the house for her. When he finished several hours later he returned to the Diva's room to find her still crumpled with tired, worn eyes that couldn't cry anymore as she clung on to her sheets like a broken record trying to remember the song it had so beautifully once played. Sam looked on in pity and desperation; she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep...he stayed over to make sure she wasn't alone but the entire night as he lay in a sleeping bag on the floor he could hear her muffled sobs of pain. He tore up his brain trying to decipher,

'Who did this to you Rach?'

On Sunday her Dad's returned from their retreat and Sam explained everything that was happening. Rachel had ignored her phone completely, scared to see any 'friend' texts of a cruelly unaware Quinn. She refused to eat. As a matter of fact she only seemed to drink away her sadness in glasses of water from her special cup that Shelby bought her. Hiram and Leroy watched in sadness from the doorway, as nothing seemed to bring back their baby girl. -She was beyond broken.

But now, it was Monday afternoon and Glee club was about to start. She knew this moment would come. Quinn would see her and become all worried and concerned like the perfect angel that she was, and Rachel would never be able to tell her that she was the very sole reason for any real pain she had felt over the last year.

However as Glee started, Rachel looked up after an undisturbed entrance, finding that Quinn wasn't even there. -'At least I get today' Rachel figured.

Then Tuesday came, and the same result. As Rachel sat in her AP English she waited for the angelic voice that mutually saved and burned her soul, but she waited in vein... Quinn never showed.

On Wednesday Rachel even considered asking Santana what had happened but thought better of it as the truth hit her. Quinn probably wasn't even ill. She had probably remembered. She was probably disgusted. She couldn't come to school because she couldn't face Rachel. -This is why she hadn't called or texted since Saturday. Rachel felt like an idiot for not seeing it before.

That night, Rachel cried even harder.

But then it came to Thursday, and as Rachel turned from her locker before walking to registration beside a continuously confused but sympathetic Sam Evans, she halted in her tracks.

There, standing in the hallway, gracefully gaining books from her locker in a flowing vintage floral dress and orange raincoat was Quinn. Rachel prepared for what she expected, an ice-cold stare and complete ignorance from the Blonde.

Although as Quinn turned and saw the Diva looking her way, she instead smiled weakly.

"Hey Rachel, see you later?" -It was the last thing Rachel had expected. But now she found herself thrown into even more confusion.

It was in fourth period that this confusion finally gained a little clarity in AP Chemistry. Rachel watched in utter shock and bafflement as Quinn sat on the stool beside her and just began to carry out the experiment, only making small conversation when necessary.

Rachel watched as Quinn measured the ingredients and took in the Cheerleaders typically colourful appearance.

It was then that she saw it... while Quinn had clearly spent a long time fixing her hair and make-up this morning, the Diva saw through the protective goggles the Blonde wore, that deep dark circles were beneath the Blonde's eyes. Her usually vibrant eyes were bloodshot and strained, and the usually elegant girl was withdrawn and only covering the bare minimum of social interaction in order to get through the day. Quinn seemed fragile, she seemed weak... she seemed off.

Then Rachel realized yet again her emotions had clouded the truth. She didn't repulse Quinn, she still didn't remember! -She was simply genuinely ill all week, even as Rachel glanced at her with this conclusion she took note of how Quinn looked so pale she could pass out at any moment.

She was an idiot.

She had let her emotions control her heart, and by doing so she was back to square one.

The ugly, painful truth that last Friday was so meaningless to her, that Quinn didn't remember anything. -She never would, she just didn't see Rachel the way she would always see Puck.

But this time it didn't simply hurt. No, it frustrated her. Rachel didn't deserve to be so used and broken. -Nobody did! Rachel no longer cared what it resulted in, she would make Quinn remember her even if she had to shake the Blonde into a confrontation to do so!

She spent the rest of the day formulating a plan to make Quinn remember her. Part of her just wanted to grab the Blonde in the hallway and kiss her, but quite frankly this was already too painful to bare and Rachel couldn't take anymore.

She came up with a different plan, she would make Quinn see her the way the Blonde had made Rachel see her... through song.

* * *

><p>As the students filed into Glee Rachel pushed the creases out of her skirt and tried to calm her nerves. Her eyes were permanently glue to her feet as she planned to make eye contact twice today.<p>

-Once, during her performance to reach Quinn.

And secondly, to confront the Blonde at how she had no right to make Rachel feel so worthless and use her, the way she had. Rachel wasn't just a body that Quinn could use to comfort herself meaninglessly when she craved Puck. -Rachel was worth more.

As Mr. Schue spoke merrily to the class about congratulations on Regionals, and how come next week, the preparation for National's would commence. Then as he announce how Rachel had prepared a cheerful number to congratulate her team mates the Diva took to the floor as the muffled sound of clapping faded amongst the white noise.

She took in one last look and made a pleading look to the one pair of eyes she needed to listen. Quinn seemed just as distant as before and Rachel sighed in hopes that this would work.

As she inhaled one last time she closed her eyes and opened them with her performance face, smiling cheerfully as the guitar intro began. The Glee club cheered as the guitar intro told them what Rachel was about to sing and they all began to clap to the steady bass beat of the drum

Rachel looked to Sam and nodded to show she was okay and grateful for his support, he smiled softly before Rachel began to tap her foot to the beat. As she opened her mouth she turned to sing directly to Quinn, the words that had an unbelievable relevance to the events that occurred between them...

_'There's a stranger in my bed,_

_There's a pounding in my head_

_Glitter all over the room_

_Pink flamingos in the pool_

_I smell like a minibar_

_DJ's passed out in the yard_

_Barbie's on the barbeque_

_This a hickie or a bruise'_

As Rachel began to dance around the room while Quinn looked at her with a look of utter disbelief and conflicting confusion as to why the song was directed at her. Blaine and Britney ran to the floor to join Rachel as she sang the next verse dramatically as she acted out the words with their aid.

_'Pictures of last night_

_Ended up online_

_I'm screwed_

_Oh well_

_It's a blacked out blur_

_But I'm pretty sure it ruled_

_Damn'_

As the music halted for a split second before the famous anthem's chorus kicked in Rachel jumped on to the piano as the Glee club cheered before turning to dance and remember to point at Quinn during the most significant line of the song. The Glee Club began to sing along, as Quinn seemed to freeze as Rachel sang directly to her once again, her face screaming confusion.

_'Last Friday night_

_Yeah, we danced on tabletops_

_And we took too many shots_

_THINK WE KISSED BUT I FORGOT!'_

Quinn's eye's most definitely widened on that line, she most definitely reacted to something inside, Rachel knew she saw the flinch in the Blonde girls eyes as the Diva looked away and continued with the song.

_'Last Friday night_

_Yeah, we maxed our credit cards_

_And got kicked out of the bar_

_So we hit the boulevard_

_Last Friday night_

_We went streaking in the park_

_Skinny dipping in the dark_

_Then had a ménage à trois_

_Last Friday night_

_Yeah I think we broke the law_

_Always say we're gonna stop_

_Op-oh-oh'_

Now that she had sang the key line to the Blonde and witnessed some sort of reaction it Quinn's hazel eyes, Rachel found that the performer within her as she powered through the song as the whole class clapped to the beat and danced on their chairs. The atmosphere was vibrant and oblivious to the secret communication the girls had just shared.

_'This Friday night_

_Do it all again_

_This Friday night_

_Do it all ag...'_

Rachel was abruptly cut off as the music stopped as she heard a door slam. She turned around to see the baffled face of her Glee teammates staring at the door. She quickly turned again to see the door bouncing back off it's hinge. Rachel became somewhat confused herself as to the spontaneous breaking door when she looked back to her teammates and noted the empty chair on the second row...

'Quinn'.

* * *

><p>As the bathroom door flung open, a desperate Rachel Berry halted after spotting a broken and crumpled Quinn Fabray on the floor.<p>

-It was strange, anytime the two had shared extreme emotion, or asked for words of advice that were direly in need, it almost always occurred within the whispering walls of McKinley.

And for the most extreme of these situations, history reflected well that it almost always occurred in the 2nd floor girls bathroom, with at least one girl in; or about to be in, tears. So after Quinn's abrupt departure, Rachel found those whispering walls telling her straight were to look for the Blonde. She was remotely startled at how she found her first time actually. -It didn't particular help the Diva not believe that they were made for one another. But at the moment, Rachel was too hurt to even ponder on such phenomenon's.

"NO!" Rachel screamed, starling the teary Blonde into eye contact. "You do not get to cry! Not after what you did!"

"R...Rachel I-" Quinn struggled to form words as she couldn't even begin to explain herself to Rachel with the magnitude of what she was feeling inside.

"How could you?" Rachel cried, her voice suddenly far quieter and more vulnerable as she vented the real hurt she had inside. "How could you just use me like that?"

"No Rachel, it's not what you think..." the Blonde tried to explain as she cautiously rose to her feet to stand in front of the devastatingly sad Rachel.

"Really?" Rachel scoffed? "So you didn't just use me to fill an emotional hole and then completely forget the whole thing as if using me wasn't bad enough!" Now as the tears fell, Rachel found herself getting angrier. Quinn wasn't allowed to cry, not in her presence after what she did...

"Rachel, I didn't just use yo-"

-"Oh save it Quinn. Can you honestly say you didn't forget everything when you woke on Saturday?" Quinn shut her mouth in defeat, while the majority of what Rachel was saying wasn't even close to the truth; she hated to admit the guilt of knowing that part was true.

"You can't even deny it" Rachel actually found herself hurt. She wanted Quinn to be honest, but she couldn't help wishing the Blonde had just told a white lie. "I just can't believe after the whole thing, you kissed me... I held you when you cried, and it was all just so meaningless to you shut it out from your memory completely?" Rachel's voice was breaking now, and Quinn's heart was breaking as she watched.

"It wasn't meaningless to me..." the startling admission was almost whispered from the Blonde as she looked up to match Rachel's tear-stained gaze. Rachel opened her mouth to question but Quinn quickly interrupted as she took a step towards the diva.

"It wasn't meaningless...and yes I didn't remember on Saturday, but when I was in the changing rooms before practice I couldn't get you out of my head. You were so broken when I said goodbye. I thought about how you flinched when I touched you..." Quinn's eyes quickly filled as she adverted her gaze to the bathroom stalls to avoid the pain she had caused, written on Rachel's face.

"I remembered..." she confessed as Rachel gasped and took a step of hurt away from her.

"Why didn't you tell me you remembered?" Rachel spluttered, "You saw what it did to me and you said NOTHING!" Her anger quickly filled back as she looked at the love of her life and hated how through all this pain, she still longed for a coward.

"It all hit me at once!" Quinn struggled, deflated as she saw Rachel cringe away from her yet again, "I didn't even make it onto the field, I had Santana drive me home so I could think and then..."

"And then what?" Rachel couldn't stand it anymore; she could bare to look at Quinn cry tears that didn't even compare to what she had gone through alone, "What Quinn? You decided to just pretend nothing happened? You figured I'd get over it? How could you? After EVERYTHING!"

"I'm so sorry Rachel..." Quinn cried as Rachel shook her head in disgust and hurt.

"Maybe sorry isn't good enough Quinn?" Rachel stated in a cold, and emotionless voice.

"But I'm so sorry!" Quinn cried as she struggled to form one last sentence before ran from the reality yet again, "I did remember, and it wasn't meaningless... I just hated what I'd done..."

And with that Rachel stood, feeling nothing but an icy breeze as Quinn brushed past her and ran swiftly out of the bathroom. Rachel felt sick. Now on top of everything she had to face even worse truths.

Quinn was ashamed. She regretted every second and was so repulsed by the prospect of another girl, of Rachel that she had left her to drown in heartbreak.

As Rachel felt those burning tears falling yet again, Rachel knew in that moment that Quinn could never love her and if she ever would, she would rather die than admit to it.

* * *

><p><em>(Friday)<em>

Rachel was hardly shocked on Friday when Quinn failed to show. She understood now, Quinn was always going to run from reality. She was a weak, fragile, coward and that would never change.

But this didn't stop Rachel excusing herself to go to the Bathroom in every class she shared with the Blonde and simply saw an empty seat in her beautiful place. It didn't stop her hiding in the auditorium all break and lunch to sing out her pain, failing each time to even finish the song before crumpling to the floor in a heap of tears.

She even found herself checking her phone even if it was just a pathetic apology from the Blonde -she just needed something. But something would never come.

As Glee began and everyone took their seat, waiting for Mr. Schuester, Rachel found her head still surrounding thoughts of the Blonde.

The thing that hurt most: was knowing that Quinn had just abandoned her and pretended none of it was real. Quinn clearly had no right to stay off school and cry when Rachel, the person who was not only humiliated, but heartbroken; was still attending. Quinn was just a girl afraid of her feelings; she had no right to be so distraught.

As Mr. Schue entered the room, the Glee Club became silent. The look on Mr. Schue's face wasn't his normal childish grin. And as Miss Pillsbury and Principal Figgins followed through the door the students suddenly sat upright in their seats, aware that something was wrong.

Will looked to Emma who squeezed his shoulder reassuringly to power through, and Figgins nodded his approval for him to announce what needed to be said to the now, beyond concerned Glee Club.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why Miss Pillsbury and Principal Figgins are here?" Will started weakly; he bit his lip as he mustered the strength to continue.

As a white noise filled the air, Rachel heard nothing but her heartbeat as Mr. Schue failed to find the words to continue and looked down in defeat with tear filled eyes.

Principal Figgins stepped forward to handle the situation for his friend, trying to spare Will the pain of delivering this to his students.

Rachel watched as his lips moved, but the sound that came out was lost in translation as her body froze, and nothing but the last line uttered by Figgins made its was through to her...

"Last Saturday, Noah Puckerman was announced lost in action".

* * *

><p>'Everyone makes mistakes. This was just a weeks worth. Consider how many a person will go through in their lifetime?<p>

The English dictionary defines a mistake as:

'An error in action' -like when the two girls tried to drink away their problems.

'An error in calculation' - Rachel believing she would be able to be close to Quinn and not get hurt.

'An error in opinion'- Rachel felt Quinn would never have looked twice at her.

'An error in judgment'- They both gave into their desires only to realize that it was a tainted experience, and one that would inevitably break at least one heart.

The dictionary then explains why these things happen:

'Poor reasoning'- Rachel refused to give Quinn the chance to come to terms with everything and face it on her own terms.

'Carelessness'- Quinn hid from her pain, never once looking back to see what it might have done to Rachel as a result.

'Or even just insufficient knowledge'- Rachel's biggest regret, and without doubt her biggest mistake, came from confronting Quinn without the full story.

Rachel had screamed, yelled and cried... convinced she was the main victim. But she never once thought back to why Quinn had been so extreme in her reactions and off the radar. Had Rachel taken the time to consider... she wouldn't be over come with the guilt she felt now.

The two girls would have never have become so close, and yet so painfully lost at the same time.'

* * *

><p><em><strong>Okay, for those of you who are still with me, 'touche'. For those of you who gave up, I can't blame you, it's A LOT OF ANGST! -It's why I'm curently balancing it with another much easier to read and comic fanfiction. But you can read that if you review this...<strong>_

_**Not that I can make a person review, but it's always nice! It makes me smile, and when I smile I read your suggestions about what will happen in the next Chapter that will included the events of the traumatizing prologue. Somebody is going to die. And you have until I next publish to try and decide if they will survive, or if I am going to cleverly kill off somebody unexpected. Who knows! -I've deliberately not started the Chapter yet as I'm waiting for your input my lovelies!**_

_**The songs used were 'Born To Die' by Lana Del Ray, and 'Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F)' by Katy Perry.  
><strong>_


	12. Somebody I Used To Know

_**Chapter Eleven- Somebody I Used To Know**_

There's a moment, in the brief calm before the storm, where you will find yourself surrounded by nothing but white noise. You find that all the screaming, all the laughter; all the surrounding world will just come to a halt. Just for a moment.

It's as if you find yourself alone on a stage, standing in your harsh spotlight of truth and suddenly the audience and everyone around just fades away. All you can hear is your staggering breath as you witness the terrified eyes staring back at you, as they confirm the inevitable 'it's time'.

The white noise fills your ears as the climax pauses right in front of you, and in that moment of deep tranquility and calm, in that moment you will realize...

This is when I die.

* * *

><p><em>May (Senior Year)<em>

The sun blared and burnt their crisped skin. Their lips were dry and chapped as their throats husked and growled for water. They were weak. They were lost. -They were dying.

The two soldiers had been captured over a month ago, then by some miracle three days ago: the enemy camp where they were being held captive was bombed and raided. For the soldiers at the camp, it was a nightmare come true; but for the two captives who found themselves finally unattended as their prison wall crumbled in an explosion, for them it was a sigh of hope.

But there was one part of the miracle they hadn't considered as the two soldiers limped, wounded and bruised, as they fled from the camp to make their escape. -They hadn't considered that under the desert heat of the sun, they were in even more danger than when they were being held captive and tortured. They had no food, they had no water, and in the scorching heat they soon found, that they had no hope at all.

"We can't be too far away, when they took us they only traveled for a day" the soldier in front husked as his comrade struggled to keep up.

"Yeah but they weren't walking..." the other man muttered before quickly falling to the ground as pain shot through his leg.

"Hawkins!" The other soldier ran to his fallen friend and tried to pull him up in desperation. But as the other man hissed in agony, the soldier lifted his friend's leg to see that his wounds had become badly infected.

"You need to leave me, you think I don't know I'm going to die?" The weaker soldier cried as he finally admitted the painful and terrifying truth.

"That's not going to be happening. I'm not leaving you Hawkins" The other soldier husked as he rose to his feet and threw his friends arm over his shoulder for support as they continued their hopeless journey home.

"You may not leave me, but we both know I am going to die out here" the weaker comrade tried to hide his tears as he acknowledged the inevitable. Without medics, food or water, neither man would last longer under the cruel gaze of the sun.

"It's not as bad as you think Hawkins, I can get you to camp...we just have to walk a little further" the stronger of the two countered as he adverted his eyes from his friend, not wanting to let him see the tears of realization in his eyes.

"You know what?" the weaker soldier meekly laughed.

"What?" the stronger replied.

-"You always were a terrible liar Puckerman".

* * *

><p>The dark clouds covered the sky, as the New York, the city of dreams; found itself caught in a blackened state of limbo. The sights seemed Grey, the shining lights shone black and as the solemn group of teenagers pressed their faces against the window of the minivan, they found their hearts and hopes shattered.<p>

They had come here today to win Nationals. Had you asked any of the members of New Directions a month ago, and they would have confidently informed you they were going to destroy the competition. But a month ago the shadow of Noah's death wasn't hanging over everyone.

Will Schuster gripped the steering wheel tightly as he pulled up outside the theatre. He was their teacher, their mentor; and yet he had allowed himself to fail them completely. They all needed someone the last month, it was his job to insure that this tragedy didn't affect their futures... it was his job, and Will knew he had failed.

Noah had always been such a life force of the resurrected Glee Club, and Will had watched as the residential bad boy fell victim to his only kryptonite...love. Will had watched as falling in love changed the boy into a man, and the kind of man anyone would aim to become. He was a war hero, and he would be looking at Will in shame right now for letting his makeshift family down.

Noah hadn't been announced dead, simply lost in action; but the evidence to suggest anyone survived the raid of his base was non-existent. According to the officers who had visited Noah's parents, the entire base was destroyed, corpse between corpse discovered and several too disfigured to confirm identity. The officers had told his devastated family that even if Noah had survived the attack, he would now be alone and starving to death in the desert, if they didn't find him quickly, there was no way he would survive. A week past since they heard the news, and when his young fiancé finally showed herself to the halls of McKinley her white ghost of a face said it all... Noah Puckerman was dead.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Will was supposed to use Puck to show his friends how precious life was, and as he gripped that steering wheel tighter his eyes snapped out the window as he heard screams of laughter.

Another competing team was running into the theatre as they avoided the angry rain thundering down. They were smiling, cheerful, and full of hope. Will Schuster released his choking grip on the steering wheel, his students needed a mentor, and he was finally going to be one!

"Look at you..." The New Directions turned from their seats to stare in confusion at their teacher whose face suggested he was disgusted.

"Not one smile from any of you! Do you realize where you are?" Will cried.

-"I'm fairly certain we're in New York Mr. Schue" Mercedes jabbed as the other faces stared blankly in agreement.

"Exactly! We're in New York...NATIONALS! And for the life of me, I know with our set list and talent, we can WIN!" Will began to frantically wave his arms in the air to get through to the baffled students. His eyes then scattered their faces for any change before stopping at the front of the bus where two hazel eyes fighting tears told him that some wounds cut deeper than a motivational kick up the ass. He softened his expression and gave a small smile to the broken hearted Blonde before inhaling a new tactic.

"Noah Puckerman died!" The blunt expression released gasps throughout the bus as offended faces stared back at the teacher.

"What? Avoiding the subject? Well are you avoiding your futures too because if you don't all change your attitude that's what is going to happen!" He yelled the harsh truths as eyes furrowed in self-loathing.

"Noah gave his life to be a better man. He died fighting so that you and I can sleep at night knowing with more good people like him out there, we will have a future!" While the eyes of the minibus continued their baffled stare, Will saw the eyes of Quinn Fabray, now releasing tears as she smiled in encouragement of what she now realized her teacher was doing.

"So if Puck gave his LIFE so you could live yours, how do you think he'd feel about you all spending everyday unable to move on. Do you think he wants his friend to end up in a dead-end job? Do you think he wants you all to waste into this black hole you've created out of his memory? -Because I know that the Puck I knew, would be kicking all of you if he saw you like this. He wanted to you to win this, and god dam it you will, and you'll do it with pride!" the teacher finished as he awaited the response. However he found himself met with silence, he was about to 'literally' kick each of their asses when...

"We will win..." Quinn Fabray wiped her tears and spoke for the first time in weeks out of choice as she stood to stand beside Will.

"We're going to go out there, and show New York that we ALL have something that they don't... we have a reason to win they could never compete with. -We win for Puck".

Will stared stunned at the bravery of the young Blonde beside him, if Quinn was one of his students, then perhaps he wasn't such a bad teacher after all. A slow clap began from the seat beside where Quinn had risen from, Santana smirked at her friend in agreement baring the first smile New Directions had seen in weeks.

Finn joined in the clapping as he stood encouraging the steady increase of applause and cheering that broke out as Will and Quinn shared genuine a smile of happiness.

-"To Puck!" The shy voice broke the applause as Quinn turned to acknowledge its source with an unreadable expression.

Rachel stood at the back of the bus, as she connected her powerful, tear filled gaze with the Blondes and smiled selflessly before punching her fist in the air. She was met with an outcry of cheers as Will laughed as he watched his own little family finally pull through for each other. This was why he loved each and every one of them.

Rachel held her fist high and smiled, ignoring her tears as her friends cheered on Puck's name. But she found her own eyes betraying her as they reached the piercing iced eyes in the distance. The Blonde simply stared stunned, before letting a single tear fall as she shook her head softly and returned a weak smile of gratitude to the girl who pained her as a reminder of how she had tainted her love for Puck, and with it poisoned whatever it was that she felt so strongly for Rachel.

* * *

><p>As they lay battered, weak and deteriorating in the desert heat Puck willed himself to form a single tear, afraid to release any more and risk dying from dehydration on the spot. Hawkins had crumpled to the ground a few minutes ago and he had quickly followed. He couldn't do it any more, they had failed, it was finally over.<p>

As his dehydration took hold he found his minor hallucinations becoming more graphic as through his closed eyes he heard a thundering wind above him.

"Puckerman... Puckerman wake...wake up! Puckerman!" The hoarse growls of Hawkins willed Puck to over his dying eyes and the second he did he realized the urgency.

A helicopter circled above them oblivious as to their whereabouts. Hawkins grabbed his shoulder and pleaded to his stronger companion. Puck nodded urgently before coughing and spluttering as he scrambled to his feet.

"HERE! HELP US PLEASE! WE'RE HERE!" He screamed with the last scraps of his energy as he waved his arms and valiantly attempted to catch the helicopters attention.

"PLEASE! DOWN HERE! PLEASE!" With his final plea as the helicopter began to fly into the distance Puck fell to his knees, convinced the universe was hell bent on destroying his soul.

"...Please" he weakly sobbed in desperation. That helicopter had been their only true hope, and now it was gone. Hawkins looked ahead at his exhausted comrade as he shed his own tears of agony. His leg throbbed as the infection slowly took over his immune system, it would be a quicker death than Puck's, with far more pain. -But as he thought of when he finally passed and Puck would be left out here alone, driven to madness by the scorching sun, he found himself grateful for the infected blessing in disguise.

Puck lay on his knees with his head watching the helicopter tauntingly disappear into the distance, their one true hope... his one chance to see 'her' again, and it had been stolen.

But no sooner than Puck's tears were finally allowed to fall, he quickly wiped his bloodshot eyes as the helicopter began to decent to the ground.

-They had spotted them.

-They were being saved.

-They would live.

"YES! Hawkins's we did it!" Puck cried with happiness through his drained and sore voice, but the second he turned around he saw Hawkins's ghostly expression, and with it; he saw the reason the helicopter hadn't flown back to their position.

That's when he felt it. The world ceased to flow as the white noise flooded his ears as he came face to face with his stories climax. His stage was dark and the sun acted as a cruel spotlight shining onto him as Hawkins's served as the only member of the audience with his horrified expression. Puck stared ahead, frozen in time as he recognized the dirty vehicles headed towards them in the distance, fast approaching over the desert sand. It was his captors, they had found their prisoners. They had come back looking for them.

In that moment Puck faced his stage, his audience and his climax but unlike anyone before him; his reaction was unique. Instead of telling himself the inevitable 'this is how I die' he told himself a different tale as he gasped under his breath...

"I will see her again!"

Frantically he scrambled to his feet, desperately reaching Hawkins's and screaming at his comrade to push through the pain and run to the helicopter. As the two soldiers ran faster than they had their entire lives, and fought every bruise, sprain and wound on their body; they fixated on the helicopter ahead.

They would make it. They would go home. And if Puck had his way, they would not be going home in a coffin! As the firing began to start, Puck heard Hawkins's screaming through the agony of his leg as he ran faster; Puck however screamed his own cry.

"Not today!"

* * *

><p>As the New Directions stood being the huge Red Curtain, the nausea and nostalgia settled in fast. The theme this year was love songs and secret underdogs Aural Intensity had just powered their way into the judges and everyone else's hearts as Rachel's friend Harmony perfected her powerhouse addition of 'Bleeding Love'. The competition was steep, and as Finn patted the nervous Rachel on the back she willed her knee's not to crumble.<p>

"What you did on the bus, you were really the team captain there Rach, if I was about to win this with anyone as my co-captain, I wouldn't want it to be anyone else" he smiled warmly through his soft blue eyes. Rachel smiled meekly before gulping much more visibly as he walked away. The set list was perfected to showcase every kind of love. Mr. Schuster had outdone himself by deciding to appeal to all the audience no matter what their own circumstance, so that they would all relate to at least one song. First she would sing a duet. Then Sam and Santana were set to sing a song about passionate love with 'Love the way you lie'. Finally the New Directions would take to the stage with a group performance showcasing a blossoming romance with the hit 'E.T'. The set list was perfect, minor one tiny little detail Rachel was truly struggling with.

When Mr. Schue confirmed there would be no single solo this year as he wanted to present their growth as a team, everyone loved the idea. Actually everyone was so enthused that when Mr. Schue asked for the group to vote for the two people whose growth had amazed them most this year the result was unanimous.

"Well this I wouldn't have guessed a year ago! Rachel, I would have guessed you would be chosen, but congratulations to Quinn... I never would have believed it! -Then again you two are without doubt the best example of growth in New Directions!"

-The words had excited the two girls at the time, but at the time they had just won Regionals and none of... 'This' had happened. At the time Rachel was still able to look at the Blonde without Quinn fleeing in tears of guilt. At the time Quinn was able to look at Rachel in complete denial of anything she felt for the diva.

But then it happened.

And now Rachel was preparing to sing a song about heartbreak to the one person who had single-handedly caused her so much of it. The two had been so messed up about everything that Quinn had left Rachel a teary voicemail one night to explain they would need to rehearse separately as it was just 'too much to handle'. Mr. Schue got so concerned by Quinn's absence that Finn had volunteered to stand in if he was needed. But when Rachel heard the kind offer she actually found her heart clenching at the thought of losing the precious 5 minutes she would be able to share with the Blonde on stage, something she couldn't bare to let go of. Instead she lied and informed Mr. Schue that the duo had repeatedly met after school to rehearse together.

It was a lie, but now as Rachel witnessed the delicate Blonde approach the opposite end of the red curtain; she knew it was worth the guilt. She needed this, one last chance to be alone with Quinn, even if it was in front of thousands of people... it was all she would ever be given and she would seize it with both hands.

Quinn fiddled nervously with her black dress, running her hands through her hair with a deep breath and then looking down to her golden heels. The girl's all wore the same while the boys were dressed in black trousers, white shirts and skinny ties.

_-"Ladies and Gentlemen, calling to the stage 'McKinley Ohio's New Directions!'"_

That was when Rachel found her heart rate drop. Time froze as she took one last look to the Blonde who toyed with her heart at every painful turn and yet still had the power to choke her like this. She loathed how much she loved her. She hated how she knew Quinn didn't love her back. But mostly she was disgusted for thinking Quinn could ever love her in return. -But despite all this, when Rachel saw those hazel eyes flicker to the side to demand her attention, she found herself finally shattering Quinn's icy walls as she saw straight through.

Quinn's eyes were weak and vulnerable, her hands trembling as she looked back at the Diva with so much confliction and confusion. Rachel saw herself staring into the piercing eyes that used to dance with gold flecks, but now... now they just faded into the pools of hazel, dying like the star in Rachel's own.

She was so beautiful.

But she hurt Rachel so much to look at.

So why couldn't she tear her eyes away?

Why was she addicted to someone who now refused to even acknowledge her existence?

As Quinn watched Rachel's eyes flicker down to the ring she still wore on her finger, she felt the stabbing in her chest return.

She hated Rachel for doing this to her.

She had finally fixed herself the perfect life.

But then Rachel came along and managed to break every fragment of her tiny heart that had survived until now. She felt frozen. Cold. Empty.

* * *

><p>As the stage turned to darkness as the rhythmic seduction began to play, both girls looked ahead; oblivious to each others hidden tears as they focused on the task ahead. This song said everything either was screaming inside to the other, and finally; they would reunite to sing the truth to the world of their pain and confliction.<p>

Rachel slowly stepped forward onto the stage as the crowd clapped and she took her place center stage, shining under a dim blue light of sorrow.

_'Now and then I think of when we were together_

_Like when you said you felt so happy you could die_

_Told myself that you were right for me_

_But felt so lonely in your company_

_But that was love and it's an ache I still remember'_

As the Blonde stepped onto the stage, the audience remained silent, cast under Rachel's hypnotic spell of heartache and longing for what she never truly had. Quinn stood behind the diva on the edge of the blue light, inhaling deeply before turning to face the back of Rachel, visibly highlighting the distance that had grown between them so suddenly. As the stage highlighted the story of the two girls lost in limbo, Rachel continued to the second verse.

_'You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness_

_Like resignation to the end, always the end_

_So when we found that we could not make sense_

_Well you said that we would still be friends_

_But I'll admit that I was glad it was over'_

Quinn found herself struggling to hold back the tears as Rachel sang the lines she knew were true to the Brunette. She had loved Quinn for all this time and sat and watched in agony, as Quinn lived her life; breaking Rachel's heart more everyday obliviously.

As the chorus kicked in, Rachel suddenly turned to face Quinn standing in her shadow. The intensity in her eyes scorched Quinn's skin as she stood still while Rachel began to circle her, trapping her in the truth of what she had done to her.

_'But you didn't have to cut me off_

_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_

_And I don't even need your love_

_But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough_

_No you didn't have to stoop so low_

_Have your friends collect your records and then change your number_

_I guess that I don't need that though_

_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_

_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_

_Now you're just somebody that I used to know'_

Rachel stumbled backwards after finishing her chorus, falling back into the blue shadows, defeated as she did so. Quinn looked to the floor as she tried to swallow the emotional blow Rachel had just shot her down with, whilst composing herself for her own turn.

Rachel could have sworn she saw a tear fall down Quinn's cheeks before the Blonde walked forward to step into the central light. -But Rachel's own teary eyes could easily have misled her. Luckily for Rachel, the comfort of the stages shadows hid her true tears for the audience as she stood idly by watching Quinn turn her insides raw with emotive pain.

_'Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over_

_Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done_

_But I don't wanna live that way_

_Reading into every word you say'_

Quinn suddenly snapped her attention back to Rachel as she belted her last solo lines in a moment of realism an unscripted choreography. It was as Quinn powered her last two lines and the audience applauded the vocal display, that Rachel understood this entire performance was now unscripted. This was the last chance the two girls would ever have in the same space without their own choice. Which meant it was likely to be the last time Rachel would be beside Quinn for the rest of her life if Quinn hated her as much as she believed she did.

_'You said that you could let it go_

_And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know'_

Rachel immediately rang in with the chorus as Quinn echoed her accompaniment in the background. The two voices battled their conflict and pain as the audience rose to their feet in splendor of the power of the emotion the two girls had summoned for their performance. -Oblivious to the true heartache and loss the girls were really singing for in this song.

_'But you didn't have to cut me off_

_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_

_And I don't even need your love_

_But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough_

_And you didn't have to stoop so low_

_Have your friends collect your records and then change your number_

_I guess that I don't need that though_

_Now you're just somebody that I used to know'_

Rachel sang for her desperation for Quinn despite everything. She sang for how she longed to touch the Blonde one last time before she found her dying heart, beat its last pulse.

Quinn sang for her loathing of what she and Rachel had done to Puck. She sang for how she longed for Puck and missed him with every fiber of her being, but as she fell to her knees overcome with pain; she hated how she was now singing, despite everything... she found herself singing for her longing for Rachel.

_'Somebody_

_(I used to know)_

_Somebody_

_(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)_

_Somebody_

_(I used to know)_

_Somebody_

_(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)'_

As the music began to fade as the girls were left in a silent beat of numbed space. It was as if everything around them died, they were just there...alone, together. This was the moment they would finally stare into one another's eyes and forget the hate the second they saw each other's pain.

No matter how much they hurt, what hurt the most was the thought of hurting each other more.

As the music stopped and the girls sang there last few lines in accapello harmony, they finally let go of the hate they had for each other. Instead, in the moments before the stage turned black and their friends joined them for the next number... they focused on the love.

_'(I used to know)_

_That I used to know_

_(I used to know)_

_Somebody'_

* * *

><p>As the gunfire grew louder and closer, Puck didn't dream of turning around. He had to make it, he just had to make it.<p>

An explosion let off right beside him and the two soldiers dove to cover in a heap, protecting each other from the blast.

The shell's cracked and the smoke grew thick around them as Puck found his ears surrounded by a stinging white noise he had tried desperately to avoid. He could feel death trying to catch him as the vehicles drew near. But as he felt movement from beside him he witnessed the sight of Hawkins's rising in a stagger and continuing to the helicopter.

With a new found strength Puck forced his limbs to rise and ordered them to run to the target. -They could do it. They were so close.

It was only as the arms grabbed him Puck even realized...

He'd done it.

He'd made it.

The medics were calling to him to let them address him as the helicopter prepared to take off again. That's when Puck realized Hawkins's was no longer beside him. That's when Puck felt the white noise take over, as all he could here was the staggered thudding of his heart as he turned to look for his friend.

Hawkins's was limping towards them as he cried out in agony, he was painfully close but with the forces now snapping angrily at his heels. He was so close; Puck reached out his hand in anticipation to pull his comrade on board while the soldiers around him screamed encouragement to the struggling soldier battling for survival.

As the thudding in Puck's chest grew louder, his breathing filled his ears, emptying the white noise and replacing it with silence.

Puck knew this sound.

His heart skipped a beat as the sweat ran down his face and he watched it happen.

Hawkins let out a cry of pain as his arm were tossed into the air and he crumpled to the floor.

Then...there was silence.

Puck knew that in reality the enemy were simply waiting for the smoke to clear so they knew whether or not they had hit the target, but to him it felt like something in him had just snapped. He found himself battling the arms around him as he screamed 'NO! HAWKINS'S' over and over before hurdling forward.

That's when the noise returned, and that was when Puck realized he was running back into the seize fire.

Puck's mind screamed at him to turn around and run back, he had his family and Quinn to think of.

-But he couldn't just leave Hawkins's there. He promised him he wouldn't let him die, and as his limbs threw themselves across the warpath, he realized his body was honoring that promise.

* * *

><p>As the New Direction's sat backstage, the team awaited the results of the judges decision. The crowd had loved them, there was no denying it; but the other teams were so good they had no idea where they stood. It was make or break time, but in their hearts they all knew they had give it their all. -And they had given it for Puck.<p>

"No matter what happens when we read that sheet. You, me and everyone out there will be proud! You guys were amazing, and you did Puck justice to his name" Will announced warmly, as the Glee kids smiled tearfully at one another, praising the unsung hero who had guided them all through the experience with his courage.

"Sam, Santana, you were outstanding I thing the audience lost their jaws when you sung! The group number was outstanding! Finn and Tina, I loved the energy in your segment! But I think we don't need to argue over agreeing that the opening duet set the bar amazingly high. Quinn, Rachel, you guys gave everyone the push they needed and inspiration to know they could really win this! I'm so proud of you..." Will was cut off as he and his students glanced around each other before Britney stated the thought on every members mind.

"Where's Quinn and Rachel?"

* * *

><p>As she sat toying with her ring, Quinn finally let her tears freely fall as she cried for Puck, and all the suffering she had caused Rachel. The Brunette had saved her so many times this year and yet she still led herself to believe they were just friends.<p>

She felt stupid.

She felt low.

She felt overwhelmed with guilt at the addiction she had still felt towards Rachel when they sang to each other. Quinn was the addict to self-inflicted misery, and Rachel was the drug who fed her craving for passion and longing.

Rachel turned the corner to spot Quinn crumpled on some steps out of the sight of watchful eyes. -She had come to this spot with the very same intention but loathed herself for not checking Quinn was still with the group.

But as Rachel took in Quinn cold, heartbroken demeanor she couldn't help but walk towards her. No matter what had come between them, Quinn was her angel and she would always catch her when she fell; no matter how much it hurt. Something inside of the diva told her that she and Quinn had shared an understanding on the stage for a reason. It was to prepare Rachel for this. As she stepped toward the Blonde and cautiously sat beside her, she waited for Quinn's terrified and uncertain gaze to lift to hers.

"Quinn?" Rachel shyly requested.

"...Rachel" Quinn granted in a weak tremor.

"I'm sorry for everything. You apologized over and over and it was only as I sung to you on stage that it hit me" Rachel looked down deflated as she inhaled sharply to regain the courage she required to continue with filling eyes.

"It hit me that, I never actually apologized to you... I assumed the worst in you when you tried to explain. I took advantage when you were lonely. I made up this entire romance in my head and never once thought of what it would do to you"

-"Rachel I..."Quinn wiped her tears and mumbled as she tried to argue back.

"No Quinn... please?" Rachel felt the electricity she both craved and melted beneath, burning her skin as she bravely reached out to connect their trembling hands.

"Quinn I, I'm so sorry. You were a there for me. You were kind to me, and I stupidly felt myself falling for you and let it happen anyway! I was supposed to pull away, but I carried on. For months I tortured myself and was in denial that you could never love me back. I know now Quinn; I know that you don't deserve any of this. I can't help loving you, but I can finally accept when I have to walk away from something that you never felt" Quinn opened her mouth to protest but a soft hand igniting her skin closed it gentle as Rachel reached out and cupped her face.

Rachel marveled at how her tanned hands seemed to perfectly match Quinn's porcelain beauty. She found her eyes craving those tearful gold flecks that always danced in Quinn's eyes as she looked into them.

Quinn froze under Rachel's spell; she wanted to tell Rachel she was wrong. She wanted to scream that she felt something too... but the plead in Rachel's eyes told her she couldn't. Rachel was finally moving on. She would heal, fall in love and finally be happy. No matter what Quinn felt, she knew she was the reason Rachel hurt so much. -And she couldn't do it to her anymore. She had to let her go.

As Rachel's eyes trembled into Quinn's, she told herself that this was it. She just needed to do one last thing before she could leave the Blonde, she needed to feel something that wasn't tainted with alcohol.

Quinn felt Rachel's tears burning as they dripped onto their joined hands, she felt Rachel's palm scold her skin but didn't dare to move as she watch Rachel's dark brown eyes full of love flicker down. It was only as she recognized the soft gentle pressure against her lips, that Quinn notice she had closed her own eyes as well.

The kiss was gentle, the kiss was intense with emotion, the kiss was bordering on an explosion of passion from either girl but neither could bring themselves to suffer much more addictive torture. As Rachel found her heart leap for Quinn's kindness to kiss her back sweetly, Quinn battled the desire to just be honest and pull Rachel closer.

But as Rachel pulled away slowly, and gazed into Quinn's eyes before wrapping her in a tight embrace, Quinn found Rachel had already begun to let go.

"What was that?" Quinn whispered in Rachel's ear as her fingers clung to the diva's back.

-"That was goodbye," Rachel whispered in return before slowly releasing her fingertips from Quinn's shoulders to pull away and stand. Quinn felt her entire body go from being warm, to utterly numb as she felt her icy heart break as Rachel walked away and out of her life.

Rachel walked as fast as her legs would take her, she couldn't look back. If she looked back she would see the pain she had caused the Blonde once again. She knew if she looked back she would have ran back, telling Quinn she was sorry and would never leave her side.

Only had Rachel turned back, she would have seen the heartbroken face of her friend, who had finally come to terms with her feelings, but after far to much hurt had been caused. Neither girl would break the promise they had made to themselves.

Rachel would walk.

And Quinn would let her.

* * *

><p>The Glee kids, blissfully unaware of how Rachel and Quinn remained out of one another's eyesight, slowly approached the list. As they followed Mr. Schuster they watched as the surrounding teams celebrated and threw their teammates into the air victoriously.<p>

As Rachel passed the aural intensity team she spotted Harmony, who looked her way beaming at the teams obvious success, before smiling warmly and nodding to Rachel.

It was an interaction that half of New Directions witnessed. It was a look shared that more than suggested this time they had made the top ten. As hearts started to race, the team slowly gathered around the posted list.

They carefully ranked their eyes from the bottom toward the top. Quinn and Rachel however stood in the background, eyes sneaking a quick a burning glance that told each other no matter where they placed, this day would never be forgotten for different reasons.

Suddenly the sound of Tina Cohen Chang briefly fainting onto Artie snapped the dreaded silence and thudding heartbeats. Suddenly screams and cheers rang the hall, overpowering every other team as the sheer amount of tears in the eyes of New Directions told Quinn and Rachel that this was it... they had won. They were officially national champions.

All this work.

All that disappointment.

Finally over. -So if it was finally over... why did they both still feel like corpses thrown through the wind? Just empty.

* * *

><p>"HAWKINS'S!" Puck screamed as he threw his body to the floor beside his friend who was now unconscious and numb.<p>

"Hawkins's wake up! You do not die today you understand me?" Puck frantically tried to waken his fallen friend but to no avail. He felt the cold of Hawkins's lifeless body and noted the amount of blood. He had been shot, and he had been shot badly.

Puck heard the sound of the vehicles on his heels and quickly reached to check Hawkins's pulse.

It was faint... but it was there. He hadn't died yet. And Puck knew there was no way he would willingly let him.

He grabbed his comrade and threw him over his shoulder with strength he thought he had lost weeks ago. But something in him told him he was a fighter, and that he would win.

As the Helicopter soldiers jumped out and grabbed the wounded man from his arms Puck almost collapsed from the realization he had done it. He had cheated death... twice. As the medics quickly got to work on the now very limp Hawkins's, one soldier reached his hand out to Puck as the helicopter began to take off to safety.

Puck reached towards the kind soldiers hand and just as he felt his hand being grabbed firmly, he felt another sensation.

He felt his eyes go wide from shock, and his breathing halt.

He felt his insides incinerate with agony as the soldier holding his hand looked to his chest in horror.

He felt himself look down and cry in agony as he registered the blood seeping through his uniform.

He felt his body being pulled forward as the soldier dragged him into the helicopter as they flew to safety.

Then he felt the one inevitable sign that this time, he knew he wouldn't be fighting back. Puck felt the white noise surround his ears as the raised voices muffled and his life was cast back under that final spotlight.

* * *

><p>The team jumped up down happily as they exited the theatre. The sound of the New York streets intoxicated them with searing energy and thrill for life. They had done it. They were unstoppable. They had obtained the trophy at the end of a mountain of effort. Not even the thundering rain could damper the mood of New Directions.<p>

As the team waited outside the theatre for Mr. Schue to remember where he parked the minivan, the glee kids marveled at their trophy and medals. The feeling was overwhelming them.

But as Rachel found herself quiet for the first time in her life, the feeling of cold emptiness overwhelmed her. She had always spoken whatever was on her mind, but at this moment in time, Rachel found even her mind silent. She just hurt. She hurt mentally and she physically ached as she avoided looking to the Cheerleader to a few meters down the street.

As the harsh rain thudded across he face she close her eyes and looked to the heaven in an attempt to just feel something. -But nothing... just loneliness.

She shuffled through her bag and pulled out her iPod, if the weather was going to be atmospherically against her then she figured she may as well shut the taunts of the happy New York air out as she stood in the road to kick the curb repeatedly.

-"Can you believe it Q? We did it! Not to mention yours and my sweet voices got us there!" Santana grinned as Quinn weakly returned the favor, grateful for the rain covering her tear brimmed eyes of regret.

Quinn wanted to be happy, she did. She kicked herself knowing that Puck would have had he been beside her. He would have told her to be happy, he would have told her he loved her and that would have been enough.

But Puck wasn't beside her, and after being missing so long she knew deep down he never would be again. So instead she was left abandoned, confused over her feelings towards Rachel, but forbidden to act upon them. She was stuck.

As her hazel eyes blinked away the stored tears she took in the dreary surrounding around her. Here she was in perhaps one of the greatest cities in the world, and she felt nothing. She just ached for Puck to come back. She ached for Rachel to stop kicking that curb and just look her way. She ached for...

-That's when she saw it. She saw herself standing on the edge of a black stage, in the shadows of Rachel's spotlight as the audience stood by, oblivious to what was coming.

"Rachel!" She screamed, but her voice failed to travel through her teammates cheers. She pushed and shoved frantically as she fought through they're oblivious ocean, desperately trying to get her voice to reach the diva's spotlight.

"RACHEL!" She cried at the top of her lungs, her heart racing as the white noise erupted her ears the second she saw Rachel turn her head, revealing her headphones.

As Rachel continued to kick the curb she could have sworn she heard someone calling her name, but simply pinned it down to wishful thinking.

But such thinking abruptly halted the second she saw her feet light up in the dancing rain.

She didn't need to look up. The pounding in her chest told her what was coming.

But as the white noise entered her ears, Rachel lifted her head and still gasped as she stared into the bright lights just a second away from her.

That was when Rachel felt it.

She felt her body completely numb with an all to familiar icy breeze as her eyes stared into her audience of a terrified man behind the wheel.

She felt the black stage beneath her feel begin to crumble under the pressure of the spotlight.

She found herself unable to cry tears she knew would be pointless and helpless.

She heard her final breathes above the white noise before looking to her side to see Quinn standing in the edge of her spotlight, tears streaming down her face.

For Rachel, it wasn't the stage, the spotlight or audience that told her. It wasn't even the inevitable sound of a white noise. For Rachel, it was the look of sadness on Quinn's face at the edge of the stage that told her... this was the moment she died.

* * *

><p><strong><em>So thoughts? The Prologue has finally been placed onto the time line and my angst is at an all time high. Oh but I'm not done yet!<em>**

**_-I can't leave this cliff hanger and not update the next chapter horrendously quickly for all of you! That would be cruel. However in exchange I ask that you all review anyway as I truly struggled with this chapter and your thoughts, however brief, would mean the world! I'll make a deal, the more reviews, the quicker I shall upload the next chapter that is pre-written and waiting for you! Alert, Favorite, Recommend and please, please REVIEW!  
><em>**

**_The song used was 'Somebody I Used To Know' by Goyte, but a true Glee fan should know this already thanks to the sexy sexy Matt Bohmer and Darren Criss making you all 'gizz' over it two weeks ago!  
><em>**


	13. Do You Think There's A Heaven?

_**Chapter Twelve- Do You Think There's A Heaven?**_

'_**Close your eyes. Allow yourself to see nothing but the darkness. Now, cover your ears. Do you hear that? Nothing. Nothing but echoing sound of silence, only interrupted by the beating of the muscle in your chest, and your deep, shallow breaths. It's as if finally, after all your worries, all your pain, and all the chaos the world surrounds you with; it all just fades away. Leaving you standing, alone, in a beautiful dark silence of a litany.'**_

Rachel once found herself telling Quinn these very words to show her that even when the world collapses... you can still be in control of how you react to it. The last thing she saw was the blinding headlights', and through them; the mortified expression of a cab driver that hit his breaks just a few mere seconds later then he was supposed to.

A few seconds, and that was all it took. A few seconds, and he had ended a life.

The last thing she saw was the headlights'.

The last thing she felt was the rain.

-Then she closed her eyes and took control.

Now she saw Quinn, her sad expression telling her that she did care, she was just afraid and Rachel had it all wrong. Her crying hazel eyes telling her she loved her, but Rachel needed to let that go as now it was her time.

The last thing she felt was now the electric sparks as Quinn approached her on her stage, leaning in painfully close until the air they breathed was the same. She felt a fire burn through her veins for the last time as those heavenly soft lips collided with her own in a bittersweet attempt to say goodbye.

It was the perfect way to allow Rachel to accept her time. It was what she needed. It was what the brief seconds of closing her eyes granted her the wish to achieve in her imagination one last time.

-Then Rachel opened her eyes. But somehow, as her lids began to open the stage was thrown from under her feet as she felt her body being met head on with a forceful collision. But as Rachel's body tumbled to the curb and she heard the screech of brakes followed by the hysterical screams of panic, she found the last thing she saw adapting into a new memory. A sight so surreal something didn't make sense.

She saw the car smash into a fire hydrant as it swerved desperately in an attempt to dodge the inevitable. She heard the crash of the window followed by the tell tale gut wrench of a body being tossed over the vehicle like a rag doll in the pouring rain. She saw the people running as they battled their tears, desperate to reach the fallen.

That was when it hit her.

They weren't running to her.

It wasn't her body that tumbled clumsily across the windshield.

The last thing Rachel saw before she passed out from her head colliding with the curb was a sight that shocked her stage and her audience from her memory.

-It wasn't her.

* * *

><p>As the helicopter blades stopped the medics waited on stand by. -They had been through this far too many times than they they'd like to admit. But it gave them the knowledge that after receiving a radio transition for 'incoming trauma', they only had a matter of seconds after those blades stopped sounding before one last desperate attempt to save a corpse already gone would incur.<p>

"Private Puckerman, severely dehydrated, wounded by gunshots in ambushed assault and in critical condition!" The soldiers urgently ran into the barrack carrying a stretcher with a lifeless corpse laying limp on it.

-In the war you get taught to quickly assess a patient within seconds to decide whether or not they're worth saving, or whether you should treat someone with a better shot. The mass of blood seeping through the bottom of the stretcher should have told the medics it was over and that this young man had fought his last day, but instead out here they interpreted it differently.

This man was a hero, and the fact that he was still bleeding meant that he wasn't dead yet. So there was no way they would let a hero die without doing everything humanely possibly to save the soldier.

As Puck fought to stop himself drifting further into his unconscious state he kept one word on a loop in his mind to will himself back into reality.

"Quinn" as soon as he muttered the word and slipped open his eyes he heard shouting all around him, the faces and surroundings blurred and muffled into one fading siren.

Instead of white noise he now found the sounds of the atmosphere painfully sharp and real, almost as if the world wanted to taunt him into closing his eyes to escape his stinging eardrums.

He could feel himself slipping. He knew he wasn't lasting much longer, and he dam well knew this was how it must feel before you die. The hands covering his body ached as they battled with his lifeless corpse, attempting anything just to stop the bleeding and keep him conscious.

He had to keep his eyes open, the voice now directly above him screamed this over and over until he finally registered he had allowed his eyes to slip shut again.

-That was when he found no matter how much he chanted her name in his mind; he found he wasn't pulling back anymore. He was lost and the next cry he heard confirmed this.

"We're losing him! Grab the crash cart now!"

He heard the charge. He felt the pads being applied to his chest. He heard the heart monitor that bleeped one note suddenly stop as a surge of electricity shock through his system.

"CLEAR!"

* * *

><p>As she felt herself slip back into conscious, the first thing Rachel felt was an awful sharp pain in her head, she felt blood gushing down her face and her entire right side felt misplaced and numb. She felt cold and wet from the pouring rain, but couldn't understand why she couldn't feel the raindrops despite hearing them through the cries and tears of panic in the air.<p>

As she carefully lifted her eyelids she found herself staring back into caring blue eyes

"Rach, thank god you're okay! I was beginning to doubt you'd wake up!"

"S...Sam?" She was met with a sad smile of admission from her friend as he hugged her close and she felt the ache of her battered body reveal itself.

She tried to fight her tears, she was alive; by some miracle she was okay and she felt overwhelmed by the realization. She gasped sharply as she willed her limb arms to hug Sam in return. But as she looked over his shoulder and peered through the dark pouring rain, she remembered.

It wasn't her.

That's why she was alive.

Somebody pushed her out the way.

Suddenly the ability to breathe was lost as Rachel screamed as her taunting heartbeat told her to get up. She found her arms flailing Sam out of the way as he tried to prevent her from looking. But if anything his mumbled resists simply made her heart pound stronger, her chest ache more and her feet limp further. She pushed her way through the crowd of tear-stained faces of her friends and strangers, the entire moment overpowered by the slowly rising thudding in her ears.

There was no more white noise, only thunder and rain splashing over the huddled crowd of mixed faces she couldn't distinguish through her blurred vision.

She felt her breath inhale sharply as she caught a glimpse of the crashed cab car once more. The yellow vehicle was smashed beyond repair, the windshield shattered and the tire tracks slowly fading in the rain.

There was no denying her last memory anymore. It wasn't her. It wasn't her that got hit. And if the strength of the pain in her limbs told her anything, it was that the second she pushed this final person out of the way, she would see the very person the breaking of her heart and twisting of her gut told her it was.

As the man turned to let her through, everything hit her at once: the sounds of the screams, the cries of the weeping. The blood surrounding the two people lying on the road, signaling the reality of nightmares she never knew she had.

Lying in the road with tears streaking down his face was Rory, as he bravely held onto the crippled body of the girl she loved, sheltering her from the rain as she started to slip away.

Her Blonde hair was stained with blood, and her breathing almost non-existent. The colour of her beautiful porcelain skin had turned white, reflecting the cold she felt as she lay there.

Rachel gasped as her heart finally stopped thudding and instead let out a large stab of agony as she looked at the weak, slowly dying face of Quinn.

She felt her knees roughly collide with the floor as she fell beside the Blonde, quickly clasping her two delicate, cold hands and crying softly.

"Please, please don't do this" as she gazed into those trembling hazel eyes who's dancing gold flecks flashed their shine for the last time. As a tear slowly ran down Quinn's face as the blonde closed her eyes, the girl began to cough and splutter blood as she attempted to speak and failed miserably as the night began to take her. Rachel watched in despair as Quinn's eyes suddenly looked beyond her and into the cold night, almost as if the Blonde had seen the spotlight calling her name from the stage.

As Quinn's eyes suddenly snapped their focus back to Rachel's, the Brunette's tear now fell freely onto the Blonde's cheeks as Rachel lowered her face and forced a sad smile of comfort.

"Why did you do that? You're so stupid, you know that?" She chuckled softly but quivered her lip when she realized how throaty and breaking her voice had been. Quinn's eyes never left her own as the Blonde melted into her touch one last time, clenching her eyes as she cried harder at the realization she was dying. Rachel kept their foreheads together lovingly as she cried her tears onto Quinn and admitted that despite saying goodbye earlier today; this cruel twist of fate had showed her that she was anything but ready to let go.

"Please... please don't leave me. I can't break anymore" as Rachel found herself unable to control the sob that followed her admission, she clenched her own eyes in defeat. But as a frozen, soft hand reached out and cupped her cheek, she opened her eyes and marveled at how Quinn still managed to make her heart thud and body spark with every touch.

Quinn slowly lifter her lips to Rachel's ear, parting her lips and she took in one last breath of air to force at least some congruent words out.

"I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine..." if anything Rachel cried harder at the reference to the book that started this entire whirlwind of pain. A pain that crippled her to the ground every time she pictured Wuthering Heights, but a pain that she could never let go.

She felt Quinn gasp one last time as the Blonde fell into her neck, unable to support her head any longer as she finished her goodbye...

"You shine beyond anyone I've ever known, and if I can do this to let you keep on shining; then I'm not sorry, and I won't ever be" full of tears. with those words, and the way Quinn had tumbled into Rachel's warmth, the Diva found her heart clench as she through her arms around Quinn, pulling her away from Rory and embracing her best friend and love one last time.

Rachel cried herself into submission; refusing to release her hold on the Blonde as she understood why Quinn said those words... she was giving in. She was saying goodbye.

"Please don't leave me yet, I'm not ready to let go..." she confessed as she loosened her grip and pleaded her desperate watery gaze into Quinn's. -Begging the Blonde to just hold on until help arrived. Rachel could hear the sound of sirens, Quinn had to hold on to her a moments more, she just had to.

But then Rachel felt Quinn cry freely as she hugged her once more.

She then watched, frozen in horror as Quinn fell back into Rory's arms as she lay back down, weak and beaten.

Rachel gasped as Quinn's hands that held hers suddenly stopped giving off sparks as her fingers fell loose.

Rachel felt her heart stop as the flashing siren of the ambulance finally danced off the drops of falling rain.

But it was a dance that had occurred to late.

* * *

><p>"DON'T DIE ON ME PUCKERMAN!" the medic screamed as Puck found his eyes fully closed, his body lifting away and landing straight back onto that empty stage that would be his final curtain call.<p>

He stood numbly, looking down at his uniform; here he wasn't wounded. Here he no longer hurt. Here nothing seemed to matter anymore as the audience was now filled with those he loved, smiling proudly back at him through tears of happiness.

He still registered the sound of the heart monitor, he still felt the remote tingle as a charge of the defibrillator rushed its energy through him. -But it no longer mattered as he felt that spotlight calling him home.

* * *

><p>Quinn suddenly found herself in almost complete darkness. She acknowledged the feeling of Rory and Rachel releasing her as strangers started attaching equipment to her chest.<p>

She saw the faint flickering of a flashing siren against her sealed eyelids. But as she felt the first thrust of energy surging through her body, she found herself suddenly opening her eyes to the sight of an empty stage. Standing under a harsh spotlight, blinded in a dark space.

As her eyes slowly adjusted, she found she could no longer feel the pain. Now it was as if only faint echoing's of sounds and feeling remained.

Her eyes raked the audience as she spotted those who loved her. They smiled proudly and nodded through tears to show their love. As she looked down she noticed she was now wearing nothing but a simple white dress. Even her ring had gone from her finger, almost as if to symbolize she had left everything behind. Now all that remained in her final performance, was her: pure and simply.

* * *

><p>As he felt another rush, faintly surge through his body, he noted how the voices and sense of feeling had faded dramatically. A symptom that told him, it was almost completely over.<p>

But there was something wrong with this ending. There was something missing as he scanned the audience. That was when his center spotlight doubled and his eyes sparkled with sadness as he saw the angel who held his heart.

* * *

><p>Suddenly her spotlight doubled as Quinn looked over her shoulder to find herself face to face with the boy who loved her with everything he had. He stood, handsome in his military uniform, smiling softly with a spark in his eyes that showed how much he missed her. But the sadness that shadowed his eyes showed Quinn that as happy he was to see her, he knew seeing her meant one thing, and it was something he genuinely felt his heart beat for her at the thought of. Something that told Quinn everything she didn't want to know.<p>

-They were both dead weren't they?

* * *

><p>As she smiled back at him Puck reached out his hand, desperate to touch his love as they left their world behind... together.<p>

She walked towards him, her gaze unfaltering as she smiled heavenly and reached her own soft hand to entwine their fingers after all this time.

Puck knew it was over. The white noise surrounding them had vanished, now even the surges of electricity had stopped. Both found that the only remaining sound was the irregular echo of two heart monitors failing to resurrect a steady rhythm.

* * *

><p>The moment shined the end of her life. Yet she found that for once she felt nothing but happiness surrounding her as she finally gazed into his warm eyes after so long apart. Despite this final fulfillment Quinn found her eyes looking out into the audience, searching for the only other pair of eyes her heart told her she needed to see to finally let go.<p>

But they weren't there.

Puck continued to smile obliviously as Quinn saw a faint light appear from the stage wings. Her hazel eyes flew to it's source and smiled softly on seeing the sad smile of the only regret she had ever held as she finally let go.

Rachel.

The Brunette smiled through her sadness and nodded simply, her conferment that it was okay, and Quinn needed to leave, it was time. With that Rachel raised her hands and slowly began to clap.

She turned back to Puck as they both shared a smile. It seemed everything was finally over as the soft applause commenced as the audience followed Rachel's lead.

* * *

><p>As the rain fell heavy, her limp body could no longer stand as she watched the paramedics failing to revive Quinn.<p>

It was then that she heard the final confirmation of her heart shattering as the sound of one long beep rang with no further attempts to interrupt it into a steady rhythm.

As the paramedics fell backwards in defeat, their final attempt seemingly over, Rachel cried out as she fell to the floor, he knees finally unable to hold a body crumbling so far apart.

She could hear the sound of Santana's scream. She could see the sight of Sam's distress. She could see Finn visible unable to watch as Mike pulled him and Tina away to the others who could no longer bear it. It was just as her knees hit the floor in defeat, that she saw one more face, distraught at the loss of his friend, but more broken at the sight of what it had done to the person he knew was closer to the Blonde then any others could ever comprehend.

Rory didn't attempt a sad smile. He didn't offer a word of comfort. He simply pulled her close and held her tight as she cried out the ashes of an unspoken love, her body trembling as the rain-washed away the last existence of the love of her life.

Quinn had given her life for her.

Rachel was wrong -she did care.

Quinn had cried in her arms as she passed, actions that told Rachel she was wrong again, Quinn had loved her back.

But now Quinn's hazel eye's slipped shut as her gold flecks among them shined for the last time.

-It was really over.

* * *

><p>The applause now rang throughout the theatre, the stage just as dark and the spotlight just as bright, with Puck smiling just as warmly. But now she had the knowledge of knowing Rachel loved her, and that she was finally able to show she loved her in return. She had managed to act out what she was afraid to say in the last moments of her life, and this was the reason Quinn knew she was ready to let go.<p>

But suddenly the applause ceased as Puck's kind, loving gaze turned into one that reflected her own confusion.

Everything was interrupted by the loud sound of a heart monitor crashing as someone slipped away forever.

But there was one part of this that was wrong.

As Quinn turned from Puck to look for Rachel, finding the girl and her warm light had now vanished along with the audience; the harsh reveal made itself known.

They stood together on an empty stage, standing under a spotlight, surrounded by darkness.

A heart monitor echoed the still air, the sound of death occurring.

But there was only one heart monitor sounding.

And as they felt each other fading, their fingertips parted as the boy in the Military uniform, and his bride in her white dress lost each other forever.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Okay soooo hopefully you are somewhat depressed, this will tell me that I have wrote this decently so far. However, if you are crying horrifically... then this will mean that I wrote this fantastically. So somehow I don't need to really highlight that I would love feedback on this chapter and the story so far. Think of this as your winter season finale, I've wrote up to the story's angsty climax, and while on one hand this means things can only get better; on the other had it means I really need feedback now more than ever.<em>**

**_What do YOU want from the story from here? What direction should I take this to please your loving selves? It's crucial to making this the story I long for it to be for you!_**

**_Also I'd like to thank everyone that has reviewed so far, I'm sure a few of of you are grinning smugly at having guessed the outcome, or having played a key part in the story's development!  
><em>**

**_-Oh and one little tip here, the title is in reference to the song 'Do You Think There's A Heaven?' by Mychael Danna/DeVotchKa. The song is short but incredibly moving as part of the soundtrack to the film 'Little Miss Sunshine'. I suggest playing it on a loop should you ever read this chapter again!  
><em>**


	14. Everywhere

**_Chapter Thirteen- Everywhere_**

Have you ever opened your eyes underwater?

The gentle hum surrounds you as sounds merge together and you hand your body over to the fate of the liquid tomb. You peer up to the surface and spot the world as if it's through another barrier. -Almost as if you're a child staring upon the lost city of Atlantis.

The lights blind you as you try to come to terms with the surrealism of this portrait in front of you.

But you know that it is a portrait for a reason. As life-like and vivid as it all seems, you know you will never be able to break the barrier and touch the surface. You'll never be able to cross over to Atlantis.

* * *

><p><em>(6 Years later)<em>

"You realize this is pointless? I told you she'd never do it" the young Red head muttered fed up of shivering in the cold outside the stage doors of the theater.

"Look, the only reason everyone says she won't do it, is because they're all too scared to ask... well, I'm not. She is my idol and I think I'd die inside knowing I missed my chance to tell her that: the one time I'm in the same city as her!" the young Blonde beside her argued before looking back to the black stage doors with hope glistening in her eyes.

"Fine... but if Jesse asks where we were you can explain!" the Red head sighed as she found two exceedingly grateful arms throw themselves around her in thanks.

"See. This, is why you're my best friend!" the Blonde grinned.

-"What because I am amazingly awesome and talented and oh, I don't know the list truly does go on" The Red head playfully countered as her best friend pulled away with a raised eyebrow and amused smile playing at her lips.

"-And incredibly modest you missed that detail!" She chuckled as the Red head playfully hit her arm before they both turned their attention swiftly to the sound of the doors opening.

The two girls shared the same moment of their expressions of hope turning quickly into one of utter disbelief as a beautiful dark haired woman exited the theatre, fumbling through her personalized Victoria Beckham handbag as her black Stella McCartney heels clicked abruptly to a halt just outside the doors.

The young girls were utterly star struck, albeit the Blonde somewhat more so than her slowly recovering friend. The Red head soon realized that her friend's stage fright was going to ruin her lifetime opportunity so she quickly pushed her forward and an unexpected word vomit follow suit.

"I think I love you!" The woman stopped fumbling and cautiously raised her eyes to take in her new found potential stalker. -This was the only problem with leaving the rehearsals during the day; there was no security of barriers to protect you from the victims of too much media exposure. But as her chocolate eyes met the source of her attacker, she found nothing but two harmless girls staring wide-eyed back at her with completely mortified expressions.

"I mean..." the Blonde desperately tried to save herself from being labeled a psycho by her idol, "well, you're actually there. In front of me... Rachel freaking Berry!" she burst in to a smile as her fear faded and she simply found herself in awe at the dumb founded woman before her.

"I know what everyone writes about you, that you hate interviews and press, that you never sign autographs after your shows and that you aren't exactly people friendly..." Rachel arched her brow as she began to study the words being said by this young teenager.

-"But in all honesty Miss Berry, I can say that I never believed any of it". The Blonde confessed as her friend placed her hand on her shoulder supportively.

Rachel found her expression softening as she struggled to comprehend the person before her. There was something about her that she couldn't shake away.

"In all honesty you probably should believe them... I guess you could say I'm quite the bitch" Rachel laughed bitterly before beginning to walk away.

The young Blonde realized she hadn't yet made her point and stepped forward, desperate to make her idol notice her.

"What I'm saying is that people only act like a bitch when they have their reasons!" she shouted as her final attempt. Rachel stopped in her tracks before slowly turning around to reproach the unsettling young Blonde.

"I'm sorry?" she answered in possibly the softest and most vulnerable tone she had expressed in years.

"Everything has its reason" the Blonde grinned, "and the reason I admire you so much isn't because of your diva antics and fabulous bitchy attitude like everyone else..." she began,

"Well that's the only reason I like you" the Red head confidently expressed, resulting in a small chuckle from Rachel.

"Yeah but that's because you're a bitch" the Blonde replied causing more amusement before she continued her point.

"The reason I idolize you, is because you're so amazingly talented, and I've read the stories and articles. But reading them made me realize, when someone acts so bitchy all the time; they must have one hell of a reason to have turned so cold. -But despite what ever horrible hand life gave you, you held your head high and made it to where you are today..." the Blonde took in Rachel's completely shocked expression, and noted how she had achieved her goal to become memorable to her own idol.

"And that, Rachel Berry... is why I will always find you to be nothing but truly inspirational" the Blonde finished with an honest smile that her friend mirrored while Rachel found herself fighting tears, but replaced them instead, with her own smile.

For the life of Rachel this girl had puzzled her, there was something so strikingly haunting about her appearance, and from that one sentence, Rachel had discovered who she reminded her of.

-"I'm sorry what did you say your name was?" Rachel shyly asked as she reached in her handbag and pulled out a napkin and a sharpie pen. The young Blonde found herself unable to fight the beaming smile of happiness that took over as she once again became mute, her friend stepping in to save her once more.

-"She didn't... but it's Kaitlyn, and I'm Isabelle" she cut in.

Rachel smiled warmly as she scribbled down on the napkin before folding it over and placing it carefully in the star struck girl's trembling hands.

"Thank you" Kaitlyn gasped.

"No... Thank you, for not being afraid to reach for what you believed in. You say I'm inspirational, but you are far more brave and willing to reach for your dreams than I ever was at your age" Rachel confessed with a sad smile.

"You achieved your dreams though, I mean look at you... your awards, fame; you achieved everything already and you're only 24!" Kaitlyn responded with a baffled look.

"I didn't get everything Kaitlyn... believe me when I say this fame is actually a consolation prize for what I wanted when I was your age" Rachel admitted before looking out into the traffic filled road for a few seconds, wishing away both a memory and a tear that continued to haunt her bones after all this time.

Kaitlyn and Isabelle were about to speak up in search of more details when Rachel returned and changed the subject quickly.

"So then... can I ask what two young teenagers like yourselves are doing here in the middle of the day? -Don't get me wrong, I will always appreciate the pep talk you just gave me, but I can't help thinking that you both may have ditched class to do so".

Rachel questioned as her eyebrows furrowed for the truth.

"Oh god no! I'm on honor role, plus my mom would kill me!" Kaitlyn quickly responded, "We're actually here for the National's Show Choir competition tonight." The Blonde responded with delight.

"No kidding?" Rachel marveled, "You know when I was in New York for my National's Junior year I met one of my heroes tpo? This place must really have a magic to Glee kids" Rachel chuckled.

"I did know, I read your biography!" Kaitlyn happily answered, amusing Rachel even more as she recalled how giddily she behaved around Patti Lu Pone, "But I also know that you won you National's senior year so I'm choosing to favor that inspiring story considering it's my senior year" Kaitlyn added, oblivious to the sudden weak cloud of Grey that took over Rachel's face. Rachel tried to shake the all too real feelings and surrealism of the entire moment as she tried again to pull away from all links to the ghost of another life.

"Actually the only reason I know this is because my coach used to date you back in high school," Kaitlyn continued merrily.

-"Wait... you, you go to Carmel? With Jesse?" Rachel stumbled as shock continued to course through her veins while Kaitlyn and Isabelle nodded enthusiastically. This wasn't happening, not this week, not here and not today.

She had to get home, she couldn't breathe here anymore.

She found her mouth telling the girls to give Jesse her best and wishing them good luck in the competition, before she excused herself with a showbiz smile.

She found her hands quickly wrapping her arms around her tightly as she walked straight past the taxis and turned to walk down several Blocks of an increasingly claustrophobic New York.

She found her lungs gasping as she acknowledged tears falling down her face, refusing to stop and wipe them away, in knowledge that the only person to have ever gently wiped away her tears with love was gone and never coming back.

She found her ankles aching as it dawned on her she had been walking for hours and through over twenty blocks of the city in her hysterical attempt to escape a vivid memory.

She found her fingers trembling as she fumbled excessively with her keys, attempting to take deep breaths to calm herself and her reflexes.

But as her head hit the pillow, and her weakly beating heart reminded her that it was still there and it was dying slowly from her own hostility to affection; Rachel found the pain consumed her.

Tears flooded, cries of misery were let out, and as her phone obnoxiously rang from her bedside table, Rachel clenched her eyes in a desperate bid to reach out to her own dream world of Atlantis. All so that this day, this nightmare, this anniversary of loss would end.

As Rachel fell asleep that night, she clung onto a photo frame as she curled up on her mattress. Clinging on to the only remaining piece of them that would forever remind her how much they cared.

* * *

><p><em>(6 Years ago)<em>

"And finally, this years Valedictorian herself, Miss Rachel Berry!"

The young Diva registered the sounds of yet another bout of applause from the Graduating Seniors audience, but it was only when a harshly whispered "Rachel!" courtesy of Finn reached her ears, that the girl even acknowledged it was her time to receive her Graduation Scroll.

Her feet grudgingly whimpered across the stage as an excitable Principal Figgins shook her hand whilst Miss Pillsbury handed over her scroll. Rachel knew she should be smiling, she knew she should be overwhelmed... but in her eighteen years of preparation of this very moment, she never expected to feel so empty.

As the hats flew into the air and cheers erupted, Rachel found herself slipping away from the celebrations and heading straight over to the only place she felt she should be in this moment.

As her car pulled up to the Grand White House, and slowly walked up to the beautiful porch that seemed to have fallen with the young grace of the house over a month ago. The hanging baskets full of darling flowers that used to blossom so graciously, had all withered and died to complement the pile of uncollected newspapers scattered on the floor.

Brushing her red robe out of the way, Rachel picked up the newspapers one by one and stacked them neatly on the side of the porch. She carefully ran her trembling fingers through her hair before summoning her courage and knocking on the large white doors.

After several moments passed, Rachel was about to turn around and exit the house when the abrupt sound of a creaking door awakened her senses.

"Quinn?"

The perfectly tousled Blonde hair, the chiseled cheek bones, the immaculately slender figure... for a brief, cruel and fleeting second, Rachel's eyes deceived her before the figure pushed the door ajar to reveal herself in the harsh light.

"No... It's Frannie, her sister actually" the young Blonde woman spoke up. Her confident voice was striking, but the large purple shades underneath her eyes gave her true story away. She was just as lost as the rest of them.

"I'm sorry its just, the two of you look so... I'm sorry" Rachel muttered in pain. The truth was, between Judy, Frannie and Lucy Quinn Fabray, there was only one distinguishing factor that set the owner of Rachel's heart above the others. The eyes. While equally strikingly beautiful, Judy and Frannie had haunting blue eyes, while Quinn's hazel emeralds burst with an overwhelming intensity and passion. They were the eyes Rachel pictured every time she closed her own.

"You're Rachel aren't you?" Frannie gently pressed, as her eyes swept the small Brunette standing on their porch straight after her Graduation ceremony, still in her Valedictorian robes.

"Actually, yes... how did you-"

"She spoke about you a lot". Frannie finished fondly, before her eyes glazed over with a glimmer of aching. "But why are you here Rachel? You should be out celebrating, with everyone who loves you" Frannie concluded.

"Because when I stood at that podium and delivered my speech, the entire time I was telling myself that I couldn't graduate and leave for New York tomorrow, not until I put things right" Rachel responded with a steady gaze at her feet, ashamed for Frannie to see straight through her deceiving choice of words.

"Can I speak to your Mom?" Rachel nervously asked, her gaze finally meeting Frannie's intimidatingly familiar one.

Frannie immediately stepped backwards defensively as she looked down the hall towards the back of the house, protecting her weak Mother inside.

"Rachel, I'm really sorry since you came all this way but... she isn't seeing anyone" Frannie spoke softly with clouding eyes, "she hasn't even spoken to me in weeks" the Daughter confessed as a tear ran down her cheek.

Rachel smiled sympathetically before looking back to her uneasy feet, biting her lower lip before trying one last time before the door was closed on her goodbye.

"Well then I guess you've got nothing to lose from me trying?"

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

As the harsh light hit her eyes she prepared to peel herself from her pillow to face another day of intolerable cruelty. Every year at this time in the calendar, Rachel knew that her bad publicity was going to spiral and her career blossom as the entertainment industry ate it all up. Three years ago there was an incident involving Ashton Kutcher and a knee to his groin... it wasn't her fault the guy insisted on hitting on her throughout filming the New Years Blockbuster.

Two Years ago Rachel found herself giving a speech to young inspiring actors at Julliard, and when they asked her if she uses Stanislavsky's approach of using her own memories to power her performance; Rachel responded with:

"Mind you own F***ing business!"

-That one had certainly been a crowd pleaser.

And last year, Rachel's manager had picked her up from the E.R in the early hours of the morning after she had been rushed in with alcohol poisoning...

-That one, was probably the worst. In one published magazine article, Rachel's dad's, friends and family were reminded in a flash that their star hadn't escaped her depression after 5 years. Far from it, she had simply learned to hide her pain.

The only bright side of hitting rock bottom last year, was that her manager was so terrified of losing his biggest star to her own demons, that when he signed her up to perform as 'Eponine' in the latest Broadway cast of 'Les Miserable', the man had insured that she received a month away from the limelight starting from today. It was a miracle that the production agreed to the absurd contract clause, then again... Rachel Barbara Berry was the biggest breakthrough act of the last three years; she represented a potential income the box office couldn't afford to refuse.

So as the Brunette tossed in her duvet, she reveled in the thought of not having to leave reality just yet. But as she rolled and felt a wooden frame dig into her ribs, Rachel quickly pulled herself up and headed for the shower. Sometimes, once a month or so, Rachel would allow reality to come first over her Atlantis dreams.

By the time her apartment buzzer sounded and she knew the taxi had arrived, Rachel dragged her suitcase to the front door and was about to leave her home when she halted in the doorway.

Her feet traveled quickly as she headed to her bedroom and grabbed the photo frame and returned to the door to head to the airport.

The taxi driver seemed kind enough, his wispy Grey beard showing off the calm being that lay inside his aging blue eyes.

"So may I ask where it is you're flying off to in such a hurry darlin'?"

Rachel's eyes lifted themselves from the chain of her inner thoughts as she dragged her vision from the window to the wind mirror that highlighted the eyes of her questioner. She paused, looking down to the picture frame in her frail hands, slowly grazing the glass that covered the face of a smiling Blonde as she felt the thud in her heart grow stronger still as she pursed her lips to summon her fragile reply...

"Home".

* * *

><p><em>(6 years ago)<em>

As her feet walked slowly down the daunting hallway, she saw the past year of memories flooding back in flashes of light.

Laughter echoed from the top of the staircase as a Blonde hugged her tightly, holding her in place so that Britney could throw the rest of the grapes at her. But then sounded the squeal of playful shock, as Rachel span and allowed the grapes to steadily bounce off of Quinn's head, revealing she was secretly working with Britney all along.

The haunting breeze as the sounds of footsteps excitedly running past her interrupted her thoughts as she felt Quinn stopping to notice she was no longer following her. Quinn hadn't known Rachel's feelings had changed at the time and so she simply turned back and gently entwined her fingers with Rachel's to let her know whatever was wrong; she was always there for her.

Rachel's fingertips tingled with the essence of a dead spark, as she could have sworn she felt soft porcelain fingertips nervously grazing her own.

The Singer shuddered away the hairs that stood on the back of her neck as she bravely carried on down the hallway of memories until she reached the conservatory door and carefully pushed the door open to step inside.

"Hello?" her nervous voice cracked as her eyes suddenly lay upon the fragile outline of the elder Fabray woman, sat along the windowsill staring out into the garden. Her gaze was adverted and her eyes crippled over and worn from tears over the loss of her daughter.

"Mrs. Fabray... it's... it's Rachel. I was hoping I could talk to you before I leave tomorrow" Rachel cautiously asked as she slowly placed herself on the floor facing Judy on the windowsill pane.

Judy Fabray's eyes were empty, no spark, no anger no pain... just empty. It was heart wrenching to even be sat next to her.

"Rachel?" A hoarse voice that hadn't been used in weeks interrupted Rachel's thoughts. Her eyes almost melted with tears at the realization that Judy was addressing her through her glazed eyes.

"Mrs. Fabray!" Rachel happily responded as a genuine smile threatened to take over her face as she struggled to fight her tears.

"Rachel, what are you doing here? Today is graduation. You're valedictorian you should be outside celebrating" Judy kindly offered as she attempted to mask her own pain.

"Actually that's why I came here..." Rachel's eyes softened as she reached into a plastic carrier bag she had carried the whole way here, she pulled out a bouquet of white lilies.

"They were Quinn's favorite..." Rachel confessed as her eyes retreated to the floor again, "I had to come here because, I'm not Valedictorian. But everyone so easily forgot that today... I was Salutatorian Miss Fabray, after what happened they simply gave me her place, and I don't deserve to leave Lima until I at least do this for you..." Rachel pulled a yearbook out of the carrier bag and handed it over to Judy, as Judy stared at Rachel in confusion, Frannie crept into the doorway and watched as her Mother opened the book to flick through its pages and burst into tears.

Every section, of every page was flooded with long messages dedicated to Quinn. Telling her they miss her, telling her Graduation is just a sham without her leading them.

-Classmates and teachers pouring their souls into fragments of each page, reaching out to help the struggling.

"For Quinn" Rachel finished as she removed her sash and folded it neatly before placing it softly onto the older woman's trembling hands.

Rachel found her own tears threatening to overflow and she knew she would never be able to stand if she allowed them to. Shutting off everything inside, she stood ready to leave as she headed to the doorway when a voice stopped her.

"Rachel..." Rachel turned from Frannie to face Judy once more as the Blonde woman rose steadily from the windowsill and walked over to her.

"Do you know that window is where she would always go to think, Rachel? I figured if I sat there long enough, maybe I would find a way to fix this myself" Judy laughed softly through her tears.

"I guess while I can't fix everything, I was supposed to go there" Judy began as Rachel watched the woman open her cardigan to reveal a wooden bundle she had been cradling.

"The first night I sat on that windowsill, I found this... I'm fairly certain she was going to give it to you today, Rachel" Judy handed over the wooden frame to the now terrified Rachel. Whatever this was... it was her last connection to the love she had been separated from.

Judy's warm hand covered her own soothingly as Rachel's unfailing tears began to spill onto her shaking hands, terrified to turn over the frame. Her watery eyes flickered up to meet gentle Blue ones, and with a gentle nod Judy told her it was okay.

Rachel slowly turned over the small frame and gasped at the contents in her hands.

The simple wooden frame had a yellow post it on, with the simple words:

_'Rachel, Happy Graduation, love Lucy'_

The glass concealed a picture of the two of them smiling happily as they hugged in the park where they had first met. Quinn was even wearing her red scarf in the photo as she kissed Rachel's cheek as the Diva smiled brightly. They had taken it a few months ago, before everything fell apart. Back when they were still pretending.

Beside the photo was a return train ticket from New Haven to New York. As Rachel's fingertips traced the sight, Judy smiled and spoke up.

"She bought those before you both left for National's. Even after everything happening with Noah she told me she couldn't afford to lose you from her life. I know you two were fighting, even though I don't know why; I do know she still bought tickets to visit you in the fall".

Those frozen emotions Rachel had fought so hard to ignore, suddenly exploded as the realization of how truly amazing Quinn was blown through her body. As she hugged Judy tightly, and whispered thank you over and over into the woman's ear, Judy simply shook her head.

"No, thank you Rachel".

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

"Have you ever opened your eyes underwater?" Rachel leaned forward in her chair as she reached out to trace the outline of the face in her dreams.

"That's what I feel like whenever I perform now... It's like the gentle hum surrounds you as sounds merge together and you hand your body over to the fate of the liquid tomb. You peer up to the surface and spot the world as if it's through another barrier. -Almost as if you're a child staring upon the lost city of Atlantis." Rachel laughed at her own idiocrasy as she leaned back down to rest her head on the bed before her. She folded her arms as a pillow before untucking her left hand to slowly reach out and grasp for a life that had faded from her.

"I feel like you when you told me about all those fairy-tales you read" Rachel laughed softly to herself, discarding her own bursting heart and welling eyes.

"What I mean is, I stand on the stage and they applaud me, but through the spotlights and their cheers I feel nothing. The truth is I don't think I've felt anything inside since you left me." Rachel found her tears blossoming inside her eyes. The pain she hid threatening to explode through her chest at any moment.

"The lights blind you as you try to come to terms with the surrealism of this portrait in front of you. But you know that it is a portrait for a reason. As life-like and vivid as it all seems, you know you will never be able to break the barrier and touch the surface. You'll never be able to cross over to Atlantis." Rachel's eyes couldn't take anymore at this point. The tears fell freely as she reached out and took the limp hand that was somehow still warm after all these years.

Six years had gone by, and every time Rachel returned to the hellhole that had accomplished its mission of trapping Quinn forever, every time she came she felt the same.

Her heart beat stronger and steadier the closer she got to her.

Her eyes built tear foundations waiting to crumble a fractions release of her true loneliness.

Her lungs felt the air passing through them and as Rachel would reach out and clasp Quinn's lifeless hand, she would still swear she could feel a haunting tingle of electricity at her touch.

Every time it was the same. Every time it ended the same.

Judy Fabray came to the hospital room's doorway after finishing her shift at work to visit her youngest daughter. But as she saw Rachel had flown in early this month and was sharing this tender goodnight with her Quinn, she carefully leaned on the door frame, aiming to be discreet but unable to pull herself away from the heart-wrenching scene between her daughter and the girl she had begun to see as family over the years. It was hard not to after Rachel's amazing kindness and religious visits every month to visit, holding desperately on to the vein hope she would be there to see Quinn actually wake up after all this time.

Oblivious as to Judy's arrival, Rachel found her tears trailing down her hand and covering their entwined hands. She leaned forward and gently pressed her forehead to Quinn's, softly cupping her cheek with her free hand.

"Please... please wake up Quinn. Please just cross over and come back to me..."

She finished her plea with a stolen kiss to Quinn's soft but lifeless lips. As her tears began to fall she pressed her lips harder, desperate to connect with Quinn somehow, to be heard.

But as her tears fell, and her lips retreated, she shut her eyes and bowed her head in despair as yet again Quinn failed to respond.

Judy found her own eyes welling at the desperate display. The truth was after Rachel's brave reaction to the accident, and her undying dedication to Quinn; Judy had grown to understand the feelings lay stronger than originally implied with her daughter and Rachel Berry.

At first she was uncomfortable with the knowledge, she loved Quinn but she had gotten involved with a lifestyle she never would have wished for her.

But as the years past, she found that with a love and dedication as strong as Rachel's for her daughter, that she didn't care about her upbringings beliefs anymore. All she ever wanted was for Quinn to finally be happy, and now that she had become stuck in this purgatory state all Judy wanted was for her to wake up. And if Quinn woke and chose to be with Rachel, then Judy knew she would be happily embracing a daughter into her household.

As she carefully placed the blanket over the tired and sleeping Rachel, she leaned over and kissed her daughter goodnight on the forehead, before softly repeating the loving gesture to Rachel. She left the room and persuaded the nurse not to wake and remove Rachel despite visiting hours having ended. After getting a begrudged acceptance, Judy smiled proudly as she headed back home to sleep off another day of waiting.

* * *

><p><em>'Have you ever opened your eyes underwater? Have you ever had them forced shut?<em>

_A gentle hum floods your ears as you wait in the silence, desperately calling for someone, just one of those many voices to break free and reach you._

_You peer up to the surface and spot the world as if it's through another barrier. -Almost as if you're a child staring upon the lost city of Atlantis. But no matter how hard you reach, the silence entombs you. But then, after years of waiting, maybe decades of hope, you will receive a moment. You will receive a single chance in a promise of a bright light shining straight through the barrier surface of your surreal picture._

_You will have less than a moment in which to finally decide if this is a life you want to fight living for. You have a split second to burst through the crack if you've finally decided you want to live._

_This is your chance for Atlantis. This is your moment'_

As the nurse drew the blinds and sighed at the loving entwined fingers of the patient and her visitor, she shook her head in understanding of Judy Fabray's insistence as she left the room sighing about the tragedies of young love.

But as Rachel soundly slept, and her tear covered hand clasped Quinn's so delicately, the diva slept through the final moment. The moment a single twitch, and a single unregistered beep of brain activity from the machine that had been waiting for 6 years, indicated that it had finally happened.

Quinn had made her reach for Atlantis.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ah my break is over with this installment! Please review and tell me what you think as I'm always eager to here. I'm also interested to hear what your interpretation of this weeks metaphor of 'Atlantis' is. I have had someone read this and they couldn't decide if it translates as heaven or life for Quinn. What did you interpret it as?<br>**_

_**The title is named after the Fleetwood Mack song 'Everywhere' as it seemed appropriate for the way Rachel has held on for so long.  
><strong>_

_**Again PLEASE PLEASE do the ALERT, REVIEW & FAVORITE dance! I've actually been debating changing the name of the story as my original twist changed thanks to your inputs so far.  
><strong>_

_**-Originally Sam was going to sing Ed Sheeran's Lego House before dying after saving Puck from an accident as Quinn saved (IRONY) Rachel. It would have killed off Ken and Barbie, but in a delicious scene that leaves Puck and Rachel at the funeral, with Rachel knowing Quinn had chosen her. A bittersweet choice no? **_

_**But I grew far too fond of him and couldn't bare to write him off as unlike Puck, he doesn't have the 'look' for a ghostly soul XP  
><strong>_


	15. The Wish

_**Chapter Fourteen – The Wish**_

_**'When I was sixteen, I read Wuthering Heights. Sure I'd seen the movie, heard the song by Kate Bush and listened to people compare their passionate, adulterous affairs with that of the infamous Cathy and Heathcliff. -But it was only when I read the Bronte novel that suddenly an entire universe was opened up to me. All these years I had been living the life of Catherine Earnshaw, oblivious to the unknown cause of my constant suffocation in a picture perfect life already set out for me. It was when I read of Cathy's lust for Heathcliff, her pure intoxication with him that would ultimately bring her own demise, that I realized... all those longing stares, all those lustful glances of knowing society claimed he would never be good enough to even touch me. A Fabray. Puckerman's were of a class far lower than my own and any romantic potential was wiped clean the second we were born into this small Ohio town. It was as I read those pages that I realized; I realized I had discovered my Heathcliff had been standing in front of me all along. -Word for word. Even down to abandoning me to become good enough for me. It all suddenly made sense. This novel was an adaptation of my own short life.**_

_**But as I read those pages at sixteen, I soon found myself with a sudden afterthought. To have a Heathcliff, and to be a Cathy... the tale wouldn't be complete without my safeguard. The one I chose out of fear of the dangerous passion Heathcliff possessed over me.**_

_**For the tale to be complete... I needed to discover my Linton.'**_

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

"You know for someone who is drinking beer with an exceedingly attractive male, you certainly seem unenthusiastic, Rach" the voice was barely acknowledged as Rachel only briefly looked up and shared a small smile with the man beside her. The cold drops trickling over her finger as they traveled down the beer bottle that seemed far more interesting anyway.

"Okay let me rephrase... For someone who is hopelessly in love with a ghost, you think you'd appreciate living a little more Rach" within seconds the entire bar looked in horror as the sound of a vicious slap shattered the chilled atmosphere.

Rachel's tired eyes had never looked more vibrant as she stared in disgust into Sam Evans alarmingly warm gaze. Her hand was still in the air and she considered using it again as a small smirk tugged at the Blonde males lips, despite the dark red mark quickly appearing on his cheek.

"Whoa Rach," he quickly grasped her hand and placed it down onto the bar with a soft look to ease the tension. "Crude remark I know, but for the life of me I've spent the last half hour trying to get you to even register my existence! It was a low blow, resulting in a brutal blow from yourself, but I don't regret getting you back on earth".

Rachel found a guilty expression suddenly overtaking her features upon the realization that once again, Sam had gone way and beyond the duties of a loyal friend in order to be there for her.

"I'm... I'm sorry Sam" she reluctantly admitted as she returned his gaze with a kicked puppy expression.

"Don't be! Hey I just got so many street cred points for that slap, I reckon we both gained something from it" he smirked victoriously.

"But no one will come in here thinking an ass will be here!" Rachel laughed in disbelief.

"-And your issue is?"

"You own the bar!" Rachel cried in disbelief. This of course resulted in a second wave of looks from the customers of Sam's bar. Sam on the other hand, laughed mercilessly in enjoyment of knowing he managed to make his friend smile on the one time of year she always seemed to only know how to cry.

In the last 6 years, Rachel had abandoned her acknowledgment of her Lima life. She had become famous, successful, and had achieved everything she had ever wanted and more. But she never answered any questions regarding her background, so much so that people began to repeat the Lady Gaga fest of believing she used to be a man. When crudely asked about this at a red carpet event, Rachel smiled glamorously at the camera and snarled through shining teeth; "I don't know, do you see a d***?" This had resulted in yet more negative press, and yet more fame and success. Needless to say her agent worshiped her every breath on this money making earth.

The truth was: Rachel kept Lima secret because she couldn't stand the thought of anyone jeopardizing the fortress of solitude she had built for Quinn. The idea alone of any outsiders interrogating her family and friends for dirt on the tragedy of her senior year was not an option she could even think of without immediately feeling her insides boil. Quinn was perfection to her, and she would do everything in her power to make sure she rested in a peaceful perfection of those who loved her, just as deserving.

The only downside of her secret life, was the blatant ignorance of everyone in Lima apart from when she visited every month. It always went the same: she would get in late, visit Quinn, then drink at Sam's bar the next day until visiting hours, then repeat for three days despite her father's plea for her to rest at home. For someone living a double life, for the past six years, Rachel Berry had managed to feel half of one.

* * *

><p>"When did this happen?' the Doctor asked urgently as the young nurse nervously toyed with her chart before the Doctor snatched it off her to re-check the data.<p>

"Well, I think it happened arou-"

"-THINK? You called me out of surgery because you 'think' something happened?" he impatiently snapped as he rolled his eyes at her insolence.

"No I know it happened! I know it, I can't forget it, and her eyes were so... striking. Believe me, she opened her eyes and stared at me! Her brain activity readings are the same but if you check last night at 11pm there was an unusual amount of activity." The nurse found herself regaining her footing and professionalism as the Doctor nodded carefully and read the readings of the previous night.

She was actually an incredibly skilled nurse, she felt unbalanced just knowing she had wavered in her response to the Chief of Neurosurgery of all people, it was quite frankly an embarrassing moment in her blossoming career. But she was still so raveled by what had happened. She changed the catheter this morning, and as she stood tall she immediately stumbled back seeing two vibrant, terrified eyes staring back at her. They were so intense with fear and confusion, with golden flecks dancing among the hazel irises. Then, almost as quickly as it happened, it was over. She paged the Doctor and became the blundering idiot present in this very moment.

"We'll need to do a brain scan, if there's anything there, we'll pick it up." The Doctor reassured the nurse in a more understanding manor. "Schedule it immediately?"

"Of course Doctor".

* * *

><p>"C'mon Sweetie, let's get you home..."<p>

"Thanks for calling us, Sam... And for looking after her again" Leroy patted the Blonde male on the back in gratitude with a soft smile that Sam returned with a sympathetic one. It was a wordless response Sam had become sort of an expert to over the last few years. A response equally appreciated by the Berry men each year it happened, whether it be at Sam's house, some sleazy club that never checked ID's; or even eventually his own bar where he was able to keep a closer eye on her.

As Rachel swayed in her seat, trying to resist the strain of the seat-belt on her fragile body, she tried to focus on the notion of the world spinning in her drunken state, rather than acknowledge the bottomless pit she fell deeper into every day.

* * *

><p>The irritating tone seemed to burn her ear drums, she desperately tried to roll back into her slumber but this just caused her to roll into her own drool staining her pillow case. Self-loathing was a description that truly didn't do her justice at this point in time.<p>

Yet despite the hundreds of exotic curses running through her beaten state, she found the ringing stopped, only to start once more.

'If this is my manager I will no longer have a manager by the end of this call' Rachel cursed as she willed herself to sit up and look around her room for her phone. Noting the infuriating headache as she sat up, Rachel realized she never made it to the hospital after the bar. She hissed under her breath and looked to her alarm clock.

-'7pm... 7pm and you're more hung-over than Courtney Love after a booze cruise.

Pathetic. Utterly... pathetic.'

Knowing she still had two hours before the visiting hours of the hospital closed she got out of bed and practically crawled across her floor to her handbag thrown sloppily on the floor in search of putting an end to this intolerable ringing.

She stared in disbelief at the number flashing before her... 'Finn? What did Finn of all people want. Wasn't he like in the army now?'

"Hello?" she uneasily answered.

"Rachel! Finally, do you realize how long everyone has been trying to get hold of you?"

She looked to the notifications on her phone and sure enough:

Santana Lopez- 4 missed calls.

Sam Evans- 3 missed calls.

Finn Hudson 6 missed calls.

Judy Fabray- 14 missed calls.

"Christ Rachel, where were you?" Finn anxiously blasted down the speaker.

"Erm... Sleeping?" Rachel feebly answered.

"At this time? What do you sleep with extra rohypnol these days?"

"Er..." Rachel ignored the headache from her midday binge drinking and responded quietly, "...something like that".

She could make out Finn cursing in the background noise, then another voice telling him to be gentle and reassuring. From what Rachel could hear, she was fairly certain the voice belonged to Finn's wife Anna. They got married two years ago and now Anna was currently pregnant with their first child, Rachel realized Finn was probably back because of the upcoming birth of his first child.

Then Rachel began to wonder what was so urgent she had so many people trying to get hold of her after only falling off the grid for a couple of hours. She wondered what was so bad that Anna had to calm Finn down just to report the news to Rachel.

That's when it hit her. There was only one thing that linked her four sets of missed calls together.

Santana was Quinn's best friend.

Sam was her close family friend and had been close with the Fabray's for years.

Finn became close with Quinn beginning of Junior year of high school. Then after Puck went missing, he really stepped up and was there for both Quinn and the Puckerman family. Then there was Judy...

Judy was her mother. Judy was the one person Rachel had actually connected with over the last six years. Connected with her over their shared mourning of Quinn's tragedy. A mothers mourning of her daughter, and a friend mourning a love never truly realized.

It all led to one inevitable. The one thing that would lead Finn to break into a bundle of nerves, leaning on the love of his wife to guide him through the task ahead.

"Finn..." Rachel dryly spoke, suddenly finding her voice trembling as her phone shook in her shaking fingers, "Finn, what's happened to her?"

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry if I fail to understand how you manage to lose a patient that has resided here for over 6 YEARS!" Frannie Fabray had just about had enough of the hospital staff awkwardly apologizing and beyond kissing her mothers ass in attempt to avoid a lawsuit.<p>

"Miss Fabray, like I said, the hospital is sincerely-"

"-Sincerely what? Stupid? Yeah I agree with you for once actually! I feel someone would have to be sincerely stupid to fail to notice a face they have seen for over six years just get up and leave! How did she manage it? She had a catheter and several machines attached!"

"Well when we received the positive activity in Quinn's brain scan, it's hospital policy to remove all attachments to make the waking up process as comfortable as possible now her organs are all running on their own after all these years" the stressed older Doctor answered relieving the nurses of their disgrace. Truth be told, he knew the Doctors deserved just as much blame here, but Frannie had only met a fraction of them in comparison to the nurses, so her direction of blame was impeccably miss-judged at this point.

Frannie lifted her hands to her face in despair. When she received the call from her frazzled mother this afternoon she figured it was some sick joke.

Six years of nothing, and now Quinn was supposedly waking up? Oh wait no, now she's woken up, and is roaming either a hospital, or worse...Ohio; completely alone and scared. Her mother was now outside the Chief of Surgery's office, looking beyond hope, as she shook back and forth with her head in her hands, unable to hold her tears of distress. The hospital called the police to go out looking for her, and then the police explained she had to be missing for 24 hours to file a missing persons report, regardless of the special circumstance. As a result Judy called everyone closest to her daughter, who Quinn may attempt to look for in her confusion. Finn had come straight to the hospital, and promised to let Judy focus on staying calm as he got a search party organized.

Sam had begun driving around Lima as his siblings waited in his former home.

Mrs. Puckerman had left her daughter in the house and was currently waiting in the Fabray residence in case Quinn tried to go home.

Santana had just flown back into Ohio with Brittney and the two were currently out searching as Mrs. Lopez stayed at home as well.

Frannie had freed her mother of extra stress by storming into the Chief of Surgery's office and demanding an explanation and solution immediately.

But despite all the good faith those who loved her daughter had shined in the past few hours, nothing could relieve the worry she had felt ever since the moment she stepped into Quinn's room to find an empty bed and scattered machines. -All signs of a traumatized girl terrified of the change surrounding her. She knew her daughter, and she knew that Quinn's mind was still that of an eighteen-year-old girl. She was still seeing her therapist when the accident happened. She was seeing a therapist because of her lack of coping methods. Everything that made her the worst candidate for this kind of unstable launch back into her previous life that to her, had ended when the heart monitor stopped. But to everyone else, Quinn had just entered a horrific purgatory the second they managed to revive her. She was alive, but in a permanent slumbered state.

Quinn had always suffered vivid nightmares when she was younger.

Judy's only thought for the past six years was 'Please, please lord; let her be dreaming of an Atlantis'.

"Excuse me Miss we're dealing with a crisis at the moment and you need to calm down and see another member of staff about your issue..." The slamming of two doors being thrown open at the end of the hallway gathered the attention of everyone on it.

Judy gasped as her eyes locked with the terrified tear driven eyes of Rachel Berry, dressed in a checkered pink pajama pants and a white T-Shirt with a dark blue parka coat thrown on top in haste.

"...Rachel" Judy stood from her seat and found two distressed arms throwing themselves tightly around her.

"How did this happen to her? Why would they let her be alone?" Rachel's muffled voice broke through her tears now staining Judy's silk beige cardigan.

The staff dropped their concern over Rachel and sulked back into their holes after registering her involvement with the Fabray incident.

"I don't know Rachel, I-" As Judy pulled out of the embrace she took note of the stars feet...

-"Rachel..." Judy carefully poised.

"Yes, Judy?" Rachel sniffed unattractively and wiped away some tears with her sleeve.

"Rachel, what is that on your feet?"

Rachel stared at her in disbelief and confusion before slowly glancing to look at herself properly. Truth be told, after Finn had explained what had happened; Rachel had hung up and ran out of her house in haste.

-Apparently so much haste that she had failed to notice she was driving her fathers car with nothing on her feet.

The hospital staff had noticed this however, and after screaming about the germs Rachel was spreading, the Diva stormed up to a plastic shoe cover machine and threw them onto her feet before continuing to storm through the building.

The result was a girl: dressed in pajamas, hair a frantic mess, coat thrown on in an non-coordinating fashion, with bare feet now wrapped in bright blue plastic bags.

'Even when I'm having a tragic experience I go and make it tragically amusing for people...just perfect!' Rachel internally cursed before looking up to reply to Judy with a frail shrug and the utterance, "it's hygienic?"

To Rachel's surprise Judy actually had a small smile tugging at her mouth, as she momentarily had no tears free falling.

"Judy?" Rachel began once the two were sat down hopelessly waiting for news as the sounds of Frannie's screaming could be heard throughout the hospital.

"Yes Rachel?" Judy weakly responded, as she gripped Rachel's hand tighter in need of reassurance herself.

"What if we can't find her?"

Judy paused and tried to hold back the clawing in her throat upon hearing the words her own mind had been screeching ever since this nightmare began. She paused long enough to listen to the erratic beating of her heart telling her the only voice of reason she knew she could believe in at this time.

"If they can't find her... you will".

* * *

><p>Judy had placed her entire faith in Rachel with one comment; at first she felt a sense of pride. But after a few seconds her realization kicked in and all Rachel felt was a crushing weight of dread. It had weighed her weak and tired body to the point where it was now just after midnight and Quinn still hadn't been found.<p>

She was cold. Alone. Afraid. -And now in complete darkness.

Rachel found her tear ducts had given up on her hours ago after drying up from a severe emotional dehydration. But despite her weak stature, and inability to stop shaking, she found herself unable to eat of even drink a drop of water to heal the pain.

The way Rachel saw it, Quinn was in so much more pain right now than she could ever comprehend, and until they found her and she was safe; Rachel wouldn't allow herself the comfort of her good health.

She sat on her floor huddling her own knees as she placed her back to the wall beneath her lounge window. Her fathers had gone to bed knowing there was nothing they could do to get her to sleep. So instead they settled with the comfort of knowing Rachel would feel better being within reach of the house phone. They had wrapped a blanket around her crumbled form and dimmed the living room lights in hope she would get a few hours sleep this way.

But that was two hours ago. And two hours later, Rachel showed no signs of sleeping as her nails dug into her knees in frustration. She wanted to scream and explode into a million ashes on the spot. The knowledge that at this point in time she had been rendered completely useless and to stay by her phone.

There was not even a remote possibility Rachel would be closing her eyes tonight.

The Diva abruptly stopped clawing her own skin when she startled at the sound of the door. The knocking was faint and patient as if to avoid waking anyone sleeping inside. She hadn't realized how dehydrated she actually was until she attempted to stand and almost fell face first due to an overwhelming loss of balance and a nail-biting headache.

With her hand gliding along the walls to steady her, she slowly walked to the front door to see what the latest update was. Part of her screamed at the thought of knowing she was safe. But a larger part of her feared Quinn had been found having done something stupid, unable to cope with what she had woken up to.

As she opened the front door she noted the lack of presence.

-Had she really drunk so little she was now hallucinating?

'Well... yes but that isn't the point!' She mentally cursed.

She switched on the porch light and stepped out into the freezing night air. The light source above her flickered as though mocking her lack of hope in the Brunette's current predicament. Her pale blue porch danced under the twinkling light and the corners of her eyes gifted her the whisper of a memory.

_'The auditorium was filled with nothing but the panting of the two girls, and the mass of tension that had just been exposed with the force of emotions that had just been felt. Rachel kept her eyes closed as she lifted one of her hands to take hold off the one on her knee, squeezing it tightly. Quinn found herself tightly squeezing Rachel's hand back as her tears openly fell and she gazed at the book before her. She refused to let go of the hand, in appreciation of the support the diva was blessing her with._

_Rachel however found herself refusing to let go of Quinn's hand for another reason; she was forcing the entire moment into her memory. The rush. The feeling. The surrealism. But above all, the image of those crowds parting in that hallway, parting like the red sea to reveal the person she never truly saw before. As she held the Blonde's hand she saw the crowd finally fully revealing her unrequited love the song had opened her to. Standing in the hallway in a short and graceful white dress, submerged in Rachel's thoughts as her terrified tears fell... was Quinn.'_

The scar of the memory burned her mind and vision, nothing but Quinn at the end of the hallway, smiling softly in her white dress. The lights twinkling above her as... the memory began to distort drastically. The lights flicked as Quinn's expression changed to one with tear filled eyes burning with confusion and hopelessness. Her dress vanished as she now stood before Rachel in her hospital gown with a light pink dressing gown on top. -Her feet bare and frozen, her eyes piercing into Rachel as they pleaded her to help her find her way. The students begin to refill the halls as Rachel reached out screaming and Quinn faded into the mass in the hallway.

With one shudder a blink of her eyes, Rachel forgot the horrific moment, the taunting memory and even how to breathe. For as she opened her eyes she looked to the bottom of her porch stairs, where the corner of her eye had shown a whisper of a ghost.

Standing shivering in the cold, weak, bruised and battered, was Quinn.

The light flickered over her beauty, danced along her fingertips as she pulled herself up the porch stairs and slowly approached Rachel. Her face was tired and worn of dried up tears, her Blonde hair dancing over her shoulders despite the lack of attention it had received. Her lip trembling and her hazel eyes powerfully returning to Rachel's own. The golden flecks, trying to break free of their chains so they could dance once more.

Rachel gasped as her lungs emptied when it arguably mattered most, she fell back into her door with a thump as she lifted her hands to her trembling expression and tried to hide her shock as tears threatened to overflow and corrupt her vision of everything she had lost finally returning to her.

Within a few uncertain blinks in attempt to flush away her tears blurring the perfect sight, Rachel found herself stood on her porch with Quinn standing just inches away as the Blonde finally announced herself in a broken plea crying for help...

"Rachel..."

* * *

><p><em>'When I was sixteen, I discovered my true identity. All this time, all this time I had unknowingly had my life story written out in front of me. I was to become intoxicated with another, fall at the hands of a love so powerful it threatened to destroy both myself, and everyone around me. Eventually I would flee into the arms of a protector, someone who offered me a chance to escape, to life half a life of feeling; but to carry on living this life I found.<em>

_In the novel, Catherine dies in the arms of Heathcliff after marrying Linton and bearing his child. In my life I died young as well after bearing Puck's child. As I found the inevitable occurring I found I wasn't scared, I guess that's because I had expected this all my life. I knew my story from the second I read that book._

_But what I didn't expect was to discover my own misinterpretation. As I died a love wrapped their arms around me. A love who's every glance burned into my soul: thoughts of unnerving lust, desperate passion and an intoxicating addiction to their every touch. But it was not in the arms of Heathcliff._

_Or so I found my sixteen year old self would have thought._

_But my eighteen year old self found herself face with another alarming prospect. What if this entire time I had it wrong? What if this entire time I already had my Linton, I had just been too afraid to open my eyes to the true Heathcliff standing before me ever since that frozen winters day in second grade. The day she would call me her angel. The day that would unknowingly bind us beyond words any great literature could ever comprehend._

_What if all my life I had been living the wrong story?'_

* * *

><p>"Rachel..."<p>

The light velvety voice sounded from beyond the hoarse croak that left the broken young Blonde's throat.

Rachel found her knees unable to stand as she almost completely relied her weight bearings on the door-frame she currently leaned against.

Quinn stepped closer, almost completely closing the distance between the two reunited souls. Both fractured and broken by the time that they were torn apart.

Rachel found her whole body igniting as that long missed but never forgotten spark traveled through her veins at the prospect of finally having Quinn back this close to her.

"I..." Rachel struggled to even conjure a word in her mind let alone throat as she stuttered in Quinn's presence. -Those overwhelming hazel eyes scratching every millimeter of her tired face.

Quinn gasped at the change in Rachel, her bright eyes seemed dark and lost, her tanned skin, strained and exhausted beneath her eyes. Rachel felt herself inhale sharply as Quinn reached out with uncertain eyes and those porcelain fingers traced her face. Slowly investigating how it had matured over the past six years apart.

Rachel found herself crying beyond belief now, unable to contain herself as her eyes closed as Quinn softly brushed her cheek. The Blonde slowly placed her hand resting by Rachel's jaw beneath her ear, the other tucking a strand of disheveled hair out of the way of her face.

Rachel opened her eyes and took in those piercing eyes once more. They screamed with the same intensity she saw all those years ago, but now it was different. Now they seemed to cry with desperation and loss. She hadn't just lost Puck; she had lost everything she once had. -Her entire life gone. She seemed to be trying to find herself again in Rachel's eyes, whether she found it or not Rachel would never know.

Quinn's lips tightened almost as if wrestling with the words to say, but as Rachel opened her mouth to speak Quinn shook her head in frustration at her own lack of voice and overpowering emotions. Then Rachel saw the last thing she would ever have expected from the Blonde whose life was in shattered pieces around her.

She saw Quinn laugh in disbelief at herself. A genuine smile followed by amusement of her own failings and tragic current predicament.

Suddenly Quinn looked up and stared straight into Rachel's vision once more, her heavenly soft smile hidden as she bit her lower lip in attempt to cover her overwhelming amusement.

In that moment, she was beyond beautiful.

In that moment she was so far beyond anything Rachel had ever imagined she could be.

In that moment she felt as though she was in second grade all over again, staring upon a heavenly angel swinging in the snow covered park. Her hair flowing and red scarf reflected the vibrant impact she was about to have on the Brunette's life.

And that was the moment Quinn's expression straightened. This was the moment Quinn seemed to have discovered what she was looking for in Rachel's eyes.

After seconds that felt like hours of harmony, Rachel found Quinn suddenly leaning forward to finally connect their lips after what felt a lifetime apart.

The moment was perfect, it was flooded with purity and stars twinkling and warmth rushing as they both finally felt an ounce of existence for the first time in the last 6 years. The feeling of Quinn's head tilting to the side just so as she pushed into a more passionate kiss, was enough to make Rachel believe she had been asleep her entire life. This was the moment she would finally awake, she could finally start to breathe once again since the day her air was taken one winters day in second grade.

Rachel found her hands pulling up to wrap themselves around Quinn's waist, absorbing what the world had done to the Blonde through her fragile frame.

A kiss could never seem so perfect. Quinn's life ambition had once been to be kissed like Heathcliff would kiss Cathy in Wuthering Heights.

Rachel's ambition had been to hear the sound of fireworks as her lips finally touched the lips belonging to the soul she destined to spend her life with.

Neither girl could ever have predicted surpassing those dreams by such a landslide of emotion.

Rachel found herself surrounded by every cliché movie soundtrack she had ever heard, performed by an entire sympathy orchestra as fireworks filled the sky. She was fairly certain this was how Jack Dawson felt kissing Rose in Titanic as Celine Dion sang of their inspiring love.

Quinn found herself unable to overcome the desire of knowing this is how Wuthering Heights was supposed to end. This was how they would have ended had the world not cruelly torn them apart.

As Quinn slowly pulled away from the gasping Rachel, she cautiously searched her eyes for any sign of regret, searching for the same love she knew Rachel had felt six years ago.

Rachel's dumbfound expression of awe soon turned into one overcome with pain, overcome with a realization of everything in front of her. She found tears blossoming in her eyes as Quinn's eyes mirrored hers as if knowing what came next already.

"Quinn, I... I can't".

* * *

><p><strong><em>HOLY CRAP YOU BITCH!<em>**

**_-well you know you were thinking it!_**

**_Okay I'm going somewhere with this, and it an angst so you all knew what you would be receiving here! Sorry I've taken beyond forever to update this, I have been utterly uninspired until today as I was driving back home the next stage of the story finally slapped me in the face! Needless to say I've planned the next couple of Chapters so your next update will be incredibly soon provided you all review, favourite, alert and freaking review this story! _**

**_I can honestly say I read through all your reviews of Chapter 14 today and I actually had tears of achievement in my eyes seeing how much some of you are loving this story. Please pass the word on and continue to review as it really does trigger inspiration to pull me out of writers block.  
><em>**

**_The song in the title is 'The Wish' by Josh Canova. Have a listen, it will make you happy in a bittersweet way.  
><em>**


	16. Meteor Shower

**_Chapter Fifteen- Meteor Shower_**

**_"We all live in a house of fire. No fire department to call. No way out. Just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down... with us trapped, locked in it"_ -Tennessee Williams**

**I was sat in AP English Literature when I first discovered this quote. It was the day I found my interest in the course was taken to new heights. I found Tennessee Williams describing the hurt and pain I felt burning my skin each day as my frozen corpse walked these halls: maintaining that picture perfect smile while inside I felt my heart slowly forgetting how it felt to feel. I found myself finally feeling something other than sadness. I found myself feeling the last shred of hope slip through my fingers. I never thought I'd live a long life, and the day Puck left; I felt my inevitable horizon drawing near as I felt myself fade into the shadows. I wrote the last shreds of my heart and existence on that billboard to attempt to save at least one fragment of the person I once was as a child. The person I foolishly dreamed I would be forever. As I screamed into the cold night air, I found nobody listening, nobody seeing. I knew my last fire exit had crumbled, and this house of fire was finally going to consume me.**

**Then Rachel found me.**

**I found myself feeling things I never felt I would. My heart beating stronger than my chest could bare. My limbs were aching for her to haunt my dreams just that little longer each night. Then when everything began to slip away, I recognized my time. I walked freely into my death knowing that it was always meant to be this way. So when I opened my eyes in that hospital, I found myself having escaped the fire. I had somehow rewritten my tale.**

**But it wasn't me that had wielded the pen.**

**It was Rachel. Always Rachel.**

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

"Quinn, I... I can't".

In that moment Lucy Quinn Fabray found her whole new world already broken.

She had survived. She had defied her fate. But for what purpose if the person who saved her didn't want her?

"Quinn please let me explain... I" but as Rachel's trembling voice left her hoarse throat, she found it echoing after the ghost of where Quinn had once stood. -Her eyes already struggling to understand why her head had prevented her heart from happiness yet again.

Quinn had wanted her. Quinn had finally kissed her on her own terms.

But something ached inside the Diva's chest, as those heavenly lips finally collided with her own after a lifetime apart, she felt another dark shadow choking the moment away from her.

She thought of how Puck had fought to be the man Quinn deserved. She thought of how worthless she felt in his shadow, and she thought of how Quinn only wanted her because she had lost the arms she truly wanted to hold her through this nightmare.

The last thing Rachel remembered was the feeling of her heart bursting into despair as those golden flecks finally stopped their life long dance with her heart. As the tears took over the beautiful Blonde's face, she found the golden flecks themselves seeming to shatter as if the soul behind them had finally been set free.

But as Quinn fled into the night, Rachel was left with the haunting image of those rejected eyes and flooded with only one doubt.

What if those golden flecks weren't set free, but being shattered with her words?

* * *

><p><em>(7 hours before the kiss)<em>

A single registered beep sounded sharply as her weak body cringed at the startling awakening. A second beep followed, then another; followed by another. Soon a regular pattern formed and she felt her sinuses ache with an overwhelming scream of unmanageable sounds they hadn't heard in years of sleep.

She furrowed her eyebrows to straighten the sounds, and within seconds distant voices could be distinguished. She heard footsteps leaving down a corridor; she heard that intolerable beeping and thick gasping of air.

She had no idea where she was, her whole body felt like a lifeless corpse frozen in a weak breaking state. Her chest and throat ached and her eyelids burned at the light seeping through.

That's when her senses truly awoke. The light behind her eyelids blared like angry headlights, the sounds of screams in the pouring rain and a tell tale fumbling of a careless body followed by a crash filled her ears.

With a panicked choke and ambush of instant tears that burned her sore eyes, Quinn found herself thrown into consciousness.

Her eyes desperately swam through terrified tears as she attempted to stand but failed miserably as her weak body crumbled to the ground, knocking several machines flying and cables attached to her ripped out in sharp surges of pain.

She didn't want to stand, she wanted to cry in a heap of misery on the floor, soaking up the despair and confusion that filled her at this moment.

The last thing she remembered was Rachel standing by the curb as those headlights taunted her with the star's silhouette. The image flashed angrily as she clung to the rails of the bed she had fallen from, moving to grip the IV stand in order to lift her body from the cold floor.

Her eyes frantically fought the pain her stiff body faced and searched for signs of escape from this nightmare. She spotted a light pink dressing gown on a chair across the room and willed her fragile legs to waver towards it. She slipped her trembling hands through the material, too scared to cry for help, but too cold and exposed to sit in silence.

She looked to the doorway and the stronger light calling from it.

There it was again. That light. That single flash of light around the Brunette as the sound of an angry horn cried through the cold New York rain. The image almost defeated her as she fell into the door-frame, struggling to stand as even more aching tears spilled down her trembling frame.

With the sound of the horn taunting her ears she powered into the corridor, her arms tightly holding her body secure as she found herself attempting to run from the nightmares inside her head.

Everywhere she looked she saw nurses, doctors, the sounds of coughing patients filled her ears and her gasps for oxygen grew deeper still.

"RACHEL!" her own voice screamed through her ears and mind as suddenly her chest and spine ached with the memory of agonizing pain. With the trauma of realization steadily creeping back into her terrifying reality, she reacted the only way she knew how... she hid her tears and ducked her head before quickly beginning to run down the corridors, soon a stairway, and then even more corridors.

With every step another flash of headlights.

With every moment another scream of pain.

With every breathe the sound of rain thundering around her.

With every gasp the image of a Brunette pleading her not to close her eyes.

With every second she found more tears filling as she headed towards those bright open doors in the distance.

-"Excuse me miss?" She faintly acknowledged the sound but at this point her head was screaming her away from all it knew, convinced she had to break free of this nightmare; she ran as fast as her feet would take her.

Through the open doors.

Into the cold outdoor breeze that burned her throat.

Into the wilderness that was surrounding her.

And into a world she barely recognized.

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

Have you ever heard the phrase, 'only when the world stops turning?' It's used a lot, but scientists would have a field day arguing the impossibility of the statement. But in this moment, as far as Rachel was concerned; Science be dammed. After Quinn left into the night, she spent the next few hours crying hopelessly on her porch into the night air, before realizing Quinn was on her own again. It was at this point she rang Judy in a state of what can only be summarized as an 'utter sobbing panic', and was quickly reassured by a seemingly beyond words Judy Fabray, who explained Quinn arrived home around an hour ago and they had taken back to the hospital to be sure she was okay.

As she heard the words that should have eased her worries, all Rachel felt was the world quite literally stop turning, as her heart stopped beating and all she could hear was the echo of Judy's distant voice as the phone fell from her hand to the floor.

Where was she supposed to go from here?

Two weeks had passed since that night. Fourteen days, three hundred and thirty six hours and yet Rachel could barely recall any of it. All she could see was that broken face, lost in a world she no longer knew, and the way all the emotion passed from it with just two words...

"I can't".

It was as if she was confined to her bedroom, haunted by the memories no matter where she looked.

The light bulb reminded her of the trail of golden lights on Christmas Eve, leading her to Quinn's grace.

As she tossed on her bed, she heard the sound of Quinn's melodic laughter as she mocked Rachel's 'comfort clothes' before joining her on her bed to dedicate her day to making the Brunette smile again.

The window reminded her of the day snow fell in second grade. The day she would meet an Angel and her entire perspective of the world would begin to change.

-She began to dream of windows of escape where before the world felt trapped.

And now all she could see was that window had been sealed shut, harsh lights of truth shining through. She had given the last six years of her life to being Quinn's guardian angel from afar, and now Quinn had woken... now Rachel knew she had to go back to reality. Quinn would never love her the way she loved Puck, and as far as Rachel was concerned being with Quinn, would mean seeing that silent look to the ground everyday, as Quinn's eyes would confirm Rachel's fears she was only second best.

As she buried her tear stained face into her pillow, the sound of hard rain pattering against her window demanded her attention.

It was as if the window was taunting her. Mocking her foolishness. Screaming she knew better from the start. It would always end this way. Quinn would move on to where ever she would find her eternal happiness, and Rachel would be left loving the ghost of a memory for eternity.

As her dried up tear ducts ached as they threatened to flood once more, Rachel willed her body from her bed. She couldn't be here. She couldn't spend one more second in this house. But she couldn't go back to New York yet, working a couple of blocks away from where it all went wrong six years ago. She was stuck, but she was dammed if she would be trapped in ignorance.

She briefly recalled grabbing her keys and throwing her blue parka coat on before climbing into her Dad's car and pushing the pedal down as far as it would allow. But all she knew for certain was that she needed to find her perspective again.

* * *

><p><em>(4 Hours before the kiss)<em>

The stinging sensation in her feet told her she had been walking around the unfamiliar streets of Lima for far too long. She allowed her body to plummet to the nearest curb as she took in the state of her aching feet.

She gasped as she took in the blistering and bleeding.

'Had I really been walking that long?'

All Quinn knew is she had woken up in hospital, and suffered a massive state of shock as she ran through the streets of Ohio in a panicked blur. Clearly her shock had spared her the realization of her damage to her bare feet until now. She felt her eyes prickling with tears yet again. She wanted her mum, she wanted Rachel, she longed for Puck; she longed for just one familiar face to pull her free from this surreal nightmare she found herself living.

The sound of an angry horn startled her back on to the sidewalk as a blue pick up truck flew by. Suddenly Quinn became extremely aware of all the traffic surrounding her, the amount of noise, pollution flooding the sky, people trafficking past her as if she was just another crazy homeless woman on the streets. She was now fairly certain she was having an anxiety attack. And those headlights refused to escape her mind. Blinding her head until it was now screaming in agony. It was all happening again, everything around her blurring into white noise as the screams in thundering rain broke through once more. She was certain she could hear Santana crying her name, she turned frantically trying to see her friend, but to no avail. Now she could hear Finn, telling people it would all be all right, and the sound of him sheltering them from the pain.

'Why wasn't he sheltering her?'

Now she swore she could make out sirens, coming closer and closer mixed with the sounds of a screech of brakes, a crash and fumble of a corpse once more. It was all so real, and yet she couldn't see any of the people filling her ears. Then a flash as she saw a heartbroken Rachel cupping her cheek as she painfully kissed her goodbye. As her tears began to fall endlessly her hoarse throat cried out weak whimpers, desperate for these voices to show their faces. -To stop their taunting and help her out of this place. Then, suddenly it all seemed to stop.

And all she saw was a small Brunette, staring at her full of awe, surrounded by snowfall. Her bright pink wellies flooded her tiny legs, and her pink skirt hung just over her knees. Her purple coat seemed to almost entomb her body with nothing but her white-gloved fingertips poking through the sleeves. A carefully coordinating pink scarf and hat completed the look.

"You are an angel..." the small voice whispered at her in admiration.

-"Rachel?" Quinn managed to escape her lips. But the young Rachel simply stared at her with tear filled eyes and a brave, pain filled expression. She slowly reached out her arm to Quinn, her eyes never breaking contact. Just as Quinn felt her mouth open to call out to the girl in the middle of the road, the sound of a car approached and it drove straight into Rachel, the young ghost vanishing into the dusk sky.

Rachel, the car, the sounds of screams and rain... it all came back.

Quinn remembered it all. The accident. Rachel declaring her feelings and telling Quinn she was letting her go. All of it came back, and now Quinn found her weak and fragile body standing in the middle of a sidewalk, gasping for air as a few curious faces stared at her in wonder.

-"Excuse me, are you alright?"

Quinn realized the man was aware that she was standing, panting intently in a hospital robe and pink dressing gown with nothing on her feet. It was no surprise he felt inclined to ask. She mustered all the strength in her unused lungs for the one question she now desperately needed the answer to.

"What date is it?"

The man looked at her incredulously, the woman who appeared to be his wife nodded at him to answer the young Blonde in distress.

"Erm it's the 21st of July..." he stuttered uncertainly. Quinn's heart momentarily stopped thudding in attempt to crack free from her ribcage. The 21st of July. It had been almost a month. She had lost almost a month of her life. Then it occurred to her...

The buildings, while she recalled some, they all appeared so different. Even the hospital main entrance was unfamiliar to her. A month no longer added up in her breaking mind.

"What... w... what year?" She croaked, her eyes now welling beyond control. The man stepped forward towards her, he attempted to reach out and calm her down but she threw his hand from her shoulder, edging backward as she looked to his wife in desperation.

The woman looked at Quinn with an overwhelming expression of sympathy, she seemed to have guessed a rough idea of what was happening to this wandering hospital patient.

-"2018".

Quinn fell back a few steps as she found her entire face suddenly void of emotion. '2018... that meant over six years. Six years in hospital. Six years of my life taken overnight.'

Quinn looked up to see the man and woman approach her softly.

"Here, let us take you back to the hospital, I'm sure someone can help you there..." the man kindly offered with his wife supportively on his arm. Quinn simply shook her head in return.

She was no longer hyperventilating. She was no longer panicking. But she was no longer feeling. Quinn simply found her legs struggling to hold her body as her feet took off on their own accord. After a block or so, Quinn found herself outside a row or shops she used to divulge in throughout high school. -Their mannequins still and non-judgmental through the shining glass window.

That's when she finally saw it.

Her hand reached out to her reflection in the shop window as she traced the cold image staring back at her. Her hair was longer, now past her shoulders and messed up by the breeze. Yet it still seemed to shine and lacked the tell tale split ends anyone would have after such little care for so long.

Somebody had been cutting and looking after her hair... -After her.

Her nails were trimmed neatly and her hands trembling from the notion of knowing someone had attended her well being so passionately.

Her face was matured, still graceful and striking but with more prominent cheekbones. Her baby fat had melted away and she was now staring into the scared, tired eyes of a young girl trapped in a young woman's body.

-So much time had passed physically and so little time mentally. Quinn found her eyes unable to cry as they took in the realization that she had only one feeling at this horrific moment in time.

She was terrified.

And she needed to find someone she knew, she needed to find then soon. As she pulled her hand from the window, she noted the space where Puck's ring used to be. A flash entered her mind, the sound of applause, a stage and Puck smiling softly in his military uniform. -She knew where she needed to go.

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

Rachel looked down to her knuckles and registered the way they had turned white from the extremity she was gripping the steering wheel with. In the back of her mind she knew she should have left a note, or at least took her phone with her. When her Dad's came home to discover no car and no Rachel they would fly into a panic. She had barely left her room in two weeks and refused to leave the house point blank. Supposedly Sam and Santana were headed round today to try and get her mobile again. In a dark way, Rachel smirked at the thought that Santana would probably brag how Rachel just heard her name and did as she was told.

She hoped no one would worry too much.

But she also knew she would never function again until she regained her clarity on life. The meaning to it, and why her's was remotely significant now she had served her purpose of taking care of Quinn.

She had been so dedicated, she remembered Judy having to claw her phone away from her when she visited a few months ago to find Quinn's hair hadn't been cut annually as her personal stylist was supposed to do. The woman received a bonus each year due to the extra lengths Rachel made her go to, having to abandon New York once a month to pamper a lifeless patient in a hospital.

Needless to say Rachel was threatening to fire her just as Judy took the phone and sighed how it had been a long day and it honestly didn't matter, all while holding the crying Rachel in her arms.

Rachel had existed purely for Quinn. Or at least, she had told herself she did. After Quinn gave her life for her, Rachel made sure she achieved all of her previous dreams, she refused to waste the life Quinn had gifted her. But at the same time she felt that all these milestones were merely empty gestures without Quinn in the audience applauding her each and every time.

Now Quinn had woken, she found her fears confirmed. Everything she had achieved was worthless without Quinn. She had built her life around her, and yet when Quinn offered herself on a platter, Rachel couldn't do it. Everything felt tainted. She couldn't accept being a back up to Puck, having Quinn pretend to love her rather than be alone; even though considering how much she wanted the Blonde an idiot would have accepted this compromise.

But when Quinn kissed her, she was filled with the memory of National's. She told Quinn she would move on. She did this, lying to both Quinn and herself; so that Quinn could be with someone who really loved her.

Puck was missing in action and may never have come back, but Rachel knew that if after all this time Quinn had still worn that ring, that she had never loved Rachel the same way back. She never would. At eighteen years old, Rachel knew she had to set Quinn free to be with the love of her life, who ever he would be.

So as she kissed Quinn at twenty-four years old, she knew the exact same voice would speak its name until she reinforced the selfless decision.

She found Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast mocking her conscience.

-If she truly loved Quinn. She would let her go.

As the rain thudded against the windshield, she pulled the car to a stop and stared up at the large shadow cast over her.

She would find her clarity, from the place where it was so poorly clouded all those years ago.

* * *

><p><em>(2 hours before the kiss)<em>

The soft grass chilled her wounded feet. The cool summer air surrounded her as the last scrapes of light had almost faded from the sky. She knew she should go and find somewhere warm to stay, but if she didn't do this first she would never forgive herself.

She passed them one by one, knowing she wouldn't rest until she knew for certain. As she came to Puck's grandmother's she knew she was going to finally find him if her dream had been telling the truth.

She peered carefully at the dark stone slab, noting it's fine detail and newly laid flowers. She only met his grandmother as a child, but from what she knew, the woman was nothing less than a martyr to his family.

Her feet stopped as she stood at the neighboring white slab. Her trembling hand slowly lifted to her quivering lip as she took in the sight before her. She found her weak dehydrated body could no longer support itself as her legs gave way beneath her.

She fell to the ground, her knees burying their sorrows in the grass as her eyes shut drastically to shield her from the shock.

_'Noah Jeremiah Puckerman, beloved son, brother and friend. Bravery is when you no longer cower in safety, and begin rising to those who need you'_

She cried for her loss, she cried for his sacrifice; and she cried for the life they never got to have. She found her body numb with the knowledge she had broken them. She had been selfish and caused this, she had deserved every last second of life she had lost; he had deserved so much better than the broken mess she had given him. She no longer cared for finding somewhere warm; she just needed to lie in the setting sun with him one last time. Imagine his strong arms holding her close and telling her it would be okay, that he forgave her. He said he would love her until he died, and he kept that promise. He lived his life, and that she should do the same with hers. -Not live in a shadow of guilt and regret.

As she found her hands touching the soil below her, she tried to picture him in her mind as she reached out and begged him to somehow hear the only words she had been desperate to say since he was declared missing in action.

"I'm so sorry..."

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

The ladder rattled miserably as she climbed, her clothes getting ruined from the pouring rain. The night was getting darker by the second, but Rachel needed this; she needed to finally break free of the curse Lucy Quinn Fabray enslaved upon her heart all those years ago.

As she reached the top, she clambered across the metal to the back of the billboard before loosing her footing suddenly on the wet surface and landing harshly onto her back. The metal clanged into the night air as the Brunette groaned in agony at the blow to her spine.

She found herself overcome and laughing suddenly...

'even when getting over Quinn the Blonde managed to hurt her'.

She erased the thought as she stared directly up at the darkening sky, almost feeling content in her display of pure pathetic fallacy. Her smile faded as she felt her tears pricking against the current of the rain.

-"When will you let me go, Quinn?"

She needed to go over everything; she needed to understand how she let it all happen. She had to understand how she allowed herself to become so conflicted. There was a time when Rachel Barbara Berry would laugh in the face of peril, mainly because she believed herself far too intelligent to ever be in it. But now she found herself staring into oblivion with an ache in her spine, her body seemingly having lost the will to even get up.

She mentally decided there was no reason she couldn't continue her epiphany whilst doing what she came here to do. Rachel slowly reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a torch. With a simple flick of a switch, she found a bright spotlight illuminating words an eighteen-year-old version of herself had found the strength to practice.

"_Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."_ -Dr. Seuss

-What had happened to that strength? The courage she had felt as she kissed Quinn goodbye at National's. What happened to that visionary, to make her fall so drastically back into the despair she felt at the beginning.

The light began to flicker poorly, of all the things happening to her at this moment in her life; Rachel refused to let a stupid torch die on her too. She fumbled with the device, whacking it angrily on the mental surface as she sat up to allow her tears to fall as she fought to keep at least one light on in her life.

With a final clang the torch suddenly blasted back to it's full strength. Rachel smiled in awe, the simple action of a torches batteries lasting longer than intended gave her a sign that the clarity she so desperately needed wasn't as far away as she feared.

As her tears fell she found she had to bite the corner of her bottom lip to hold the smile that threatened to over take her face. In a gesture of victory she ignored the pain in her back and stood upright, raising her left arm to shine the torch at the billboard once more.

Slowly, she shone the light over all the red and black words in place there. It was as if they danced in the harmony of a stubborn love, the most powerful love of all; an unrequited love.

Her heart seemed to clench in her chest as her body fell numb as it traced each and every word of their story. She had fallen head over heals for the writer of this story, and yet that writer failed to reason her existence at all. Quinn never knew who she was. Quinn never knew she was watching from afar the whole time from this billboard. It was always a mystery to the Blonde. A mystery that Rachel accepted would remain beautiful in it's uncharted territory.

As she reached her final quote, she noted the touch of red below, moving the torch carefully she saw an arrow pointing directly down.

Quinn had always been strange, but Rachel had never noted this piece before. She memorized this billboard in her sleep; she had come back several nights since the accident and never noticed the icon before. She reached out and traced the chipped paint tenderly... the paint was worn and had been here as long as the rest of the artwork.

'What do you mean?' she cursed in her mind. Then almost as quickly as her eyebrows shot up and her eyes stopped crying, Rachel found herself using her torch to follow the arrows direction. She cautiously lowered the torches gaze until it reached the metal railings on which she stood.

As she squinted her eyes she noted a splash of red colour shining amongst the torches now metallic gaze. Rachel moved the torch across the floor, now seeing an array of red splashing across the flooring. But the painted words were lost amongst the rain, and her torch wasn't bright enough to illuminate the entire surface. Rachel paced back and forth, desperate to catch the words, but failing to follow the message.

It almost seemed like the letters were...

'Back to front?'

Rachel found her body rushing through the ache in her back as she clambered to the ladder, her limbs already taking action as her heart put itself on hold until further notice.

As she reached the wet, muddy ground, Rachel's feet quickly walked directly under the shadow of the scaffolding and shone her torch up, hoping the maximized ray would be bright enough.

As her eyes filled with tears, she found them blinking frantically as if in their own personal state of shock of what they were now transferring to Rachel.

Covering the scaffolding was giant red letters, brightly screaming a message designed for only Rachel's eyes to see.

_'I left him.'_

The large font taunting Rachel's confused mind as her eyes scanned the painted red siren of words repeatedly in doubt. Almost as if Quinn knew the way Rachel would react, she had clarified her own meaning directly below in even larger lettering.

Beneath the metal Rachel had stood on for years trying to make sense of her feelings for the Blonde, was the hidden message:

_'I choose you, Rachel.'_

* * *

><p><em>(6 Years ago)<em>

No matter how hard she tried, Quinn failed to escape his face from her mind. The way in which the cruel video chat had forced her to watch his tears fall in spite of him desperately trying to hold them back, haunted her mind. Santana had held her weak frame for hours after-wards, oblivious she had broke off her engagement, just being there for her best friend.

Quinn asked her to pick her up the second she awoke at Rachel's the next day, full of guilt and shame for what had happened in her drunken admission to her inner desires. A kiss would have been a betrayal, but many who knew them would have seen what Quinn and Rachel had almost done as beyond treachery. Puck deserved so much better, she hadn't lied to Rachel when she said she had only kissed her because she missed Puck. But she had conveniently left out the part about her also telling her to stop because she knew both Rachel and Puck deserved better than what she was doing to them. As much as she had battled with it, Quinn had finally admitted to herself the truth about how she felt about Rachel.

Somewhere, somehow in all the midst of everything she noticed her. She realized she had always been there, even when from afar. And after the way Rachel had reacted last night, and ever since she wrote her message on the billboard in front of her, she had suspected the truth.

Rachel looked defeated as Quinn wrote the advice _'Tell Her'_ onto the billboard. Almost as though she was ashamed. And last night when Quinn asked her to stop, Rachel's face wasn't of a drunken girl rejected in a moment of loneliness. It was of a girl who had just had her heart ripped from her chest. Despite all of it, Rachel still held Quinn as she cried that night; she had put her own heartbreak to the side for Quinn.

That was the moment Quinn understood.

The billboard.

The one always catching her.

The longing stares and the one she couldn't have.

It had all been Rachel, and she had always wanted Quinn knowing she never could.

When Santana picked her up, she had agreed to cover for Quinn and pretend they had Cheerio's practice to spare Rachel more hurt. The Latina never asked why, but she seemed to understand Quinn needed her in that moment more than words could ever adequately express. Quinn had already hurt enough people, and she knew she had to talk to one before she could finally stop that.

The video signal had been terrible; she could vaguely hear Puck stammering in confusion after she admitted what happened to him. She tried to keep her tears at bay as she didn't deserve to be the one crying, and Puck simply stared in sadness at her...

"Why?"

Instead of 'screw you' or hanging up, he asked why. And Quinn realized why she loved him. He was actually considering forgiving her drunken betrayal. But she knew she couldn't allow him to. Instead she told him she knows it happened because she was feeling things she shouldn't have, and she was wrong to accept his proposal so young. She wasn't ready for that commitment, and she shouldn't have ever denied that.

"I can't marry you, Puck"... she recalled taking her hand and rubbing the ring around her finger. She told him it was because she loved him, that she couldn't marry him. Not when he could find someone who would never of allowed something like what she did to happen. She told him he deserved better, and before hanging up she said the last thing she needed him to hear...

"I love you".

But what had truly rattled Quinn was Puck's response. Just as her finger hovered over the end call option, she heard the words...

"I love you too".

She knew why she had fallen for him, and in that moment she knew she had finally done the right thing. He was innocent, pure... perfect. And she knew he would love again, and this time; they would love him, and only him back.

Quinn had been dropped off at her house that afternoon with the knowledge she had finally done the right thing. And come Monday at school she would tell Rachel. And she would finally tell her how she felt. Quinn was making things right with the world, and for once she felt herself seeing a bigger picture for her life.

Everything was starting to happen for her.

Then that evening she heard a knock at her door.

As the door open she heard her mothers concerned voice.

Followed by the sound of crying and another voice.

Mrs. Puckerman.

Quinn felt her feet moving, but it was only as she felt her feet hit the bottom of the stairs and she took in Mrs. Puckerman's tear filled face that her heart clenched. At first she expected a vicious slap across her well deserving face.

But after taking in Mrs. Puckerman's expression, and the way her lip trembled in despair rather than disgust... Quinn found her heart stop beating altogether. It was as if she already knew something was wrong, and that something had happened to him as she felt her own eyes fill as her stomach clenched as she found the will to say the words she finally needed to say...

"Puck?"

* * *

><p><em>(Present)<em>

She pounded on the door as if her hands would freeze if they stopped the notion even for a second.

"Hello? Is anybody there? Please, please open the door!" her voice traveled across the street let alone across the front porch. Rachel stood back slightly defeated. What if Quinn simply didn't want to see her? What if Judy was with her upstairs pretending to not be home?

What if Quinn was right by the door? Hiding, afraid of what it was Rachel wanted to say to her.

Rachel found herself immediately softening in posture. She tried to hold back a toxic mixture of excitement, heartache, confusion and overwhelming hope. She slowly approached the door, placing a delicate trembling hand on the white sturdy wood before softly trying one last time.

"Quinn?"

She was met with silence. All the lights were switched off in the house, and on her way to the door Rachel noticed two newspapers jammed in the unopened letterbox. No one was in. Rachel was no longer wishful thinking and now asking the uncertain question in her mind.

'Where are they?'

* * *

><p>"See what would I do without you Santana?" Sam asked as he wiped down the bar and threw the towel over his broad shoulder.<p>

"Well I imagine you'd have no customers on days like this..." She answered smugly with a smirk threatening to break into a full on applause at her own dedication to her alcoholism. The bar was gathering dust as the rain poured outside. It was positioned in the center of Lima and nobody wanted to leave the safety of his or her suburban fortresses and risk the rain for a night out.

Santana had been kind enough to head back with Sam to keep him company after they both went to Rachel's to discover no diva, and instead two worried fathers. They would probably never admit it, but the incident at National's Senior Year, and losing Puck had solidified the New Directions. Each and everyone of them got over their differences prior the event and had learned to lean on each other to help each other through the pain.

Prior Quinn's accident Sam certainly never would have found himself enjoying the company of the bitch who christened him 'trouty mouth' that's for sure.

Just as Sam reached up to turn off the T.V. in acceptance he had to give up and close early, the doors of the bar burst open.

"The Fabray's where are they?" a distressed, panicked Rachel flew into the bar, soaked through and oblivious to their dumbfound expressions.

"Rach, your Dad's have been worried sick! Where were you? They thought you might have gone back to New York without saying goodbye" Sam returned as he made his way over to her, attempting to take off her wet coat but met with a reluctant Rachel backing away from him quickly as if his touch burned.

"No, the Fabray's!" She desperately tried again, "I went to the Fabray's but... but they're not home, and they won't answer their calls and I need..."

"-Rachel, I came over to tell you today" Santana's voice broke Rachel's panicked rant as she was met with sympathetic eyes. Rachel found her heart thudding inside her chest as it dawned on her she wasn't about to like what she was going to hear.

"Santana, where are they?" She spoke in a dry, hoarse voice.

Santana looked to Sam for help, but he just stuttered in response, almost as if to say she was on her own, as he didn't want to deliver the blow here.

"Look, Rachel I..." Santana began.

"Santana?" Rachel impatiently pleaded, her eyes now begging the Latina to tell her already, tears threatening to spill.

"Judy is staying with Frannie at the moment. She needs to be around family for a while" Santana softly spoke; with Rachel waiting for the other painful half she knew was inevitable.

"And Quinn? She left Quinn?" Rachel sounded hurt, she couldn't believe Judy would even consider abandoning her youngest daughter unless...

-"Quinn left her Rachel".

Rachel felt her heart finally give way; she knew it was to simple.

She was too late; yet again she caused Quinn pain and only realized it when the damage was done. She didn't know how she was supposed to fix this one. She just knew she needed to know it all.

"Where?" she whispered in attempt not to cry in front of them.

"She left last week. The hospital gave her the all clear and she told Judy she needed to find herself a new life", each word pierced Rachel's chest, her breathing getting more and more vague, "apparently someone she used to know offered her an opportunity and she accepted and just... left" Santana finished.

Rachel found herself struggling to stand, clearly Sam noticed as he was no longer behind the bar and was now carefully leading her to a stool.

"I'm sorry Rachel, I found out last week and Quinn asked me not to tell you but I told Sam yesterday and he said you needed to hear it. I wanted to tell you today, but you weren't in" her words now seemed but a blur to Rachel. She vaguely registered Santana saying Quinn was okay and still in contact with Judy, she just wouldn't tell anyone where she was as she needed to find a new life for herself. She needed to start again.

Rachel wanted to cry, she wanted to scream. But she knew it would be pointless. Quinn had left and didn't want to be found, how would she ever tell her now? It was hopeless.

As a single tear splashed against the bar surface, Rachel swore she could hear the sound of her still heart finally giving up.

* * *

><p><em><strong>First things first. Thank you for the reviews, I have officially decided I want 100 by the end of this story, I have a way to go; please help! It genuinely helps us write better and quicker for you!<br>**_

_**Second, this is fun. I have a link**_

_**Simply go on Youtube, and after "com/" copy & paste the below link.  
><strong> watch?v=pUGlodw3H30&list=HL1342723720&feature=mh_lolz  
><em>

_**Now I suggest you watch this link, I found it very inspiring. And as a result, one of the scenes in this chapter was completely based of this inspiration. I would like you to then attempt to guess which scene I based on it! C'mon, try it! Get inspiration from anything!**  
><em>

_**And lastly, I'd like to give a BIG THANK YOU to "1LK0NB1", I'm fairly certain you've reviewed basically every chapter of this story and re-read it a few times. It is hearing things like the reviews you send that genuinely make writing that much more enjoyable... -hearing that what I write is enjoyable to others.  
><strong>_


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